"rethought" poems
Dearest friend, parent, lover
Whoever might be reading this
I'm sorry i couldn't stay strong.
I'm sorry i couldn't stand it anymore
It's not anyones fault, i just wasn't meant to be here.
Just like those flowers that never bloom. They just grow and starts hanging a bit, then dies.
Dear younger siblings.
Don't look up to me, look up to people like daddy or momma, they're happy, i weren't. One life lesson i've learnt is that happiness doesn't come without courage, but with too much courage you'll get tired and let go when you finally get there, and you'll end back where you started.
Dear older "sister"
You know who you are and you're probably reading this right now, smiling at how i mention you as my sister. You're the best person to ever be in my life, and even though you told me a couple of years ago that you were lesbian i never rethought the meaning of your hugs, cause i know we're sisters.
If it wasn't for you i would have done this a lot earlier so thank you.
Dear parents.
Don't cry, i'm not worth your beautiful tears.. I have nothing more to say than i know you lost me, but don't lose courage.
Dear best friend.
Thank you for always being there.
Thank you for telling me that everything will be alright.. It just hurts me to say that you were wrong.. And i'm sorry cause i know this will bring you pain.. But i know you have some other. Nice friends who'd support you.
Dear stranger.
I'm sorry if i was goind to know you in my no longer exisisting future.. You're better off without me anyways..
Dear myself.
I'm sorry i can't hold on anymore, i know that you had your happy times, and that a lot of people longed for your life, but i couldn't stand it anymore..
Dear person
I'm sorry the voices became too much.
I'm sorry i ran out of place to make scars.. I'm sorry i couldn't stand this inner pain anymore.. Dear person.. I'm sorry.. Goodbye..
Mar 2, 2015
Mar 2, 2015 at 1:27 PM UTC
Across the ocean, you meant nothing to me.
You were a destination, a photograph, a wish.
You plagued my winter woes with your heatwaves,
jumping into creeks in your underwear while I wrapped myself in another blanket, cold Canadian ice princess.
You slept under stars in close contact with beautiful nature, beautiful life, beautiful people, while I stared at them, upside down, from my window.
And then the big dipper dumped you into my lap, head on my chest so you could feel my heart beat and I could tangle my fingers in your hair.
Photographs aren't supposed to come to life.
Beautiful smiles and messy blonde hair are for fantasies and dreaming and rainy days, and not for my bed or my guitar or my lips
But there you were.
For two weeks I thought and rethought and plagued my heart with goodbye is coming. He will fly away from me. We are not birds meant to be caged
We are wanderers, nomads, free-spirits who need no tying down or tying knots,
And I want to tie myself to your bed post with barbed wire because it hurts that much to leave you anyway.
But you leave me.
And there you weren't.
There you weren't as I made up my mind that it's okay to love a nomad, as long as you're one too.
And it's okay to love a bird of flight, just build yourself some wings and follow
But I was mistaken, I was wrong and I was three steps behind you.
Because when you said "I'll see you later" you didn't mean later
You meant get out.
And I still don't know if you're scared or if you just don't want me,
You don't ******* want me.
High as the plane that brought you here to leave me, I stand lace clad, smoke screened and alone.
High enough to feel my lungs contracting with each breath that made my tongue taste less and less like yours,
High enough to feel my knees click where you held them once,
One time,
Because that was all it took.
I couldn't get high enough to stop retracing the lines that your fingers made up and down my sides as you felt the curve of my body for the first time.
My limbs were barren, cold, antarctic as you left them when you took your warm, summer hand away.
So I turned the shower up all the way, until it burned enough to feel like I was boiling my skin, baptizing your sinful touch off of my innocent body.
I burned my arms and legs until they cracked.
They cracked from dryness, even after I wet them with my tears,
And my first,
fourth,
tenth glass of wine.
And I threw the bottle against my bedroom door.
Watched it smash,
Wished it was me.
I'll clean it up later.
Jan 26, 2015
Jan 26, 2015 at 11:52 PM UTC
I was abused literally and pushed aside by teacher
He was in rage to see me when I tried to enter
He might have some grievances in mind to nurture
As I was doing fare in studies and position was assured
I was really ashy boy but excellent in pick up
I heard attentively and was cheered with thumb up
His behavior as teacher made great impact in mind
I might have taken it lightly if he was harsh or unkind
It is customary to show little disrespect to the poor students
Some of the discourtesy is extended with inferior comments
I was unable to think further but bore a grudge permanently
I remember those abusive remarks and resisted him once vehemently
I thought and rethought about such behavior
As teacher he would have been considerate and held honor
I became reserved from that day and decided to keep silent
As it was now known to me that best way is to offer no comment
In social circle too certain disliking exist for people
It may be more intensive when they are incapable
Not in financial capacity to move forward and compete
Live under their dominance and agree to submit
I remained firm in approach but turned away from close contacts
I kept good will at heart and prayed for their well being in fact
This gave me enough of strength to observe them from distance
I was taken little note of and none observed my presence
I return gesture with kind words and remain aloof
I have enough of strength financially as single proof
They dare not to see me with inferiority and pull down
As I have established of my own and became powerfully known
I wish that same kind of maltreatment is not shown
To children who are unfortunate of having means of their own
They are really asset to us and builder of future generation
How can we be indifferent when question of building nation comes?
I have known some of the people getting blinded
By sudden arrival of fortune and secretly confided
Their common sense gets unnatural boost to reveal
The arrogance is reflected and shown with no efforts to conceal
Dec 9, 2011
Dec 9, 2011 at 7:48 AM UTC
the man
I’ve only
just met
sober
but have
arm in arm
week one
through week
three
been jolly
with
is
for the sake of his mother
revising
his life
cycle
from
**** sadness, balloons*
to
*sadness, **** balloons*
---
it is either my attention span or my nakedness
in concrete poetry
that keeps me
from god
(when a scar of thunder / outs itself / I am blue)
or bluish
(like a sock in a blue
coat’s
pocket)
---
by the
of a sudden
time
the man
is tolerable
he ha(s)
a number of
rethought
balloon
Oct 31, 2012
Oct 31, 2012 at 4:45 PM UTC
You look like you need a drink,
It's been a very long day.
But doesn't it just really stink,
That your drink has no place to stay?
Well fear no longer my very fine friend,
For I am here to help!
Your undying thirst will soon reach its end,
All you have to do is yelp.
But how in the world can I help you, you ask?
Or you might just say, "what's up?"
It really is rather I quite simple task,
All you need is one paper cup!
"That's all?" you doubt, not sure it is true.
Why yes, I tell you! Of course!
Look for yourself, you really must see!
They truly are quite a force.
Finally you rethought my proposal,
And then gave me a pleading look.
You knew that you wanted at your disposal
A cup! So I gave and you took.
See what I mean? Isn't it grand?
"It's magnificent!" you say.
"I love the feel of this paper cup in my hand,
And my thirst has at last gone away!"
Nov 2, 2013
Nov 2, 2013 at 2:09 PM UTC
Spent many years
Searching
But not knowing
What for
Thought that
Happiness was mine
But did not know
Life like love is blind
Saw signs of trouble
With subtle hints
She was colder than
Most fish
Knew it was coming
And had no regrets
As the door closed
Behind her she left
Rethought the future
Went on with life
Searching for new love
To light up the night
Asked friends
And acquaintance
To find
Me a date
I waited for her
At Starbucks for a blind date
And then she arrived
How do I rate
Her porcelain skin
Dark brown eyes
Long dark hair
She caught my eye
Found new love
After a few dates
Now life is fine
New love sublime
May 22, 2015
May 22, 2015 at 7:31 AM UTC
When conversations lull,
or I’m left alone with myself,
(or unexplained shivers
puppet my shoulders)
I think of writing the perfect poem.
I have so many wonderful ideas
that have all been thought
but were too messy—
and they would all be rethought
until they were polished;
until they were spotless;
until they were blacksmithed
and welded and tallied and measured and remeasured and immaculate.
Then I would have written
a flawless poem.
But then again,
if someone (even me) wrote
the perfect poem,
it would be written.
And that would be that.
Mar 22, 2011
Mar 22, 2011 at 1:42 PM UTC
Woah, wherever do I think I'm going?
Don't know, these clothes are looking pretty showy
Ah, what am I to since nothing's going my way today?
Woah, good thing I didn't wear those heels
Although they always made me feel so tall
But now a casual look will keep me out of sight so I can do my own thing today
Stroll through the alley catching my sight everyday
Ah, this kind if feeling is making my heart pound
Then so suddenly a big gust of wind pushes right back on my hood
And everyone turns so quickly
In the end this weekend isn't going to be relaxing in the least
That's it I am quitting this life
Sure the pay is nothing to complain
My career is just painted with blue
I stand out today, they're looking this way
No more I am fleeing this life
All I've ever wanted was too much
Please stop looking at my face
But I took all these words and pocketed them away
Woah, it's been so long I can't remember
Don't know, I've stuck out like this since forever now
What am I to do since this is normal routine for me
Woah, I know I've heard this said before but
Don't know, the memory won't come
Oh my God, this is too much work just for a girl
But of course, I can never just speak honestly
Shouts fill the air so densely just looking for me
What's the big deal about meeting an idol
Oh hey don't this seem like a fun thing to do, I should've rethought
Cause in the end it turned out badly
But the spotlight then it seemed so bright
I really couldn't turn him down
Hey this life ain't all it had seemed
But those words are hanging on my tongue
Are they really as good as they say
I'm not very fun, why can't I just run
No more I am leaving this life
But those words just never come to life
God you're making me cry now
Yet I hold back the tears and pocketed them away
All this crying does you no good
Can't you hear the cheering from the crowd
All you ever wanted and more
In front of you now, so stand up, be proud
If this life is all it had seemed
Change it and just know you're not alone
Now go out there and show them what you really can do
Somehow singing isn't so bad
I can feel my chest about to burst
Overflowing through every note
I'll plunder your heart, make off with your heart
All those notes I've batted away
Fill this dream and fly straight out to you
Just remember to not blink
We'll be carrying on
Tomorrow is another day
Feb 8, 2015
Feb 8, 2015 at 2:21 PM UTC
I think that if we even want to think about taking this out for a walk
The most important thing our tongues need to do is talk
With honest words and silent hands
And the words I've written and you probably stole from plastic lyric-less bands
So much needs to be redone, rewound, and rethought
I don't think we have the time to do this right
Because nothing's ever black and white
Jan 11, 2015
Jan 11, 2015 at 2:30 AM UTC
Yesterday the birds seemed rather peculiar.
The morning was cool, damp, rainey.
A chill went through the air.
Holiday season is here.
People are frantic.
Shopping.
Stressed.
Malls packed.
Mom losing her toddler.
Heart stops, cops called.
ALL due to her lack of concern and sick addiction of society pulling her in to the latest trend, best deal, better product.
Is it really better?
Or are you being brainwashed?
Do you need it?
You do zero research. You just believe the retailer.
Ignore your child.
Are you really better?
Then the next person you judge?
They are judging you.
Be careful.
Mom's in tears.
People everywhere.
Good people in the world.
Child found.
Heartbeats again.
Life rethought.
Retail therapy over.
Therapy considered.
Life goes on.
Birds fly by.
Dec 14, 2015
Dec 14, 2015 at 11:24 AM UTC
A thought may evaporate,
But never fear for those that
Disappear into the cloud of forgotten
Memory, will one day rain down anew
Fresh and rethought.
And as new ideas descend splashing
Down on your reinvigorated thoughts.
Feb 18, 2016
Feb 18, 2016 at 7:00 PM UTC
let's scribble the words in a timely manner:
I AM FULL OF RAGE AND LOVE
AND IT'S ALL OK
to say the least, i'm not
the hero for anyone,
but that doesn't mean i can't save anyone
(maybe it does)
i'm speaking modestly here! i promise
you that i don't go overboard with
my sense of pride; i'm just programmed
to be bloated by the ingestion of my
own mental food for thought
now i stand here, sitting, laying, saying:
I HAVE RETHOUGHT
NOTHING IS OK
Feb 16, 2014
Feb 16, 2014 at 12:20 AM UTC
“The problem with falling is sooner or later
you’ll have to hit something.”
- Jenny Owen Youngs
My eyes met your eyes
at nine years old in the cafeteria.
I learned you were terrible
over a loud lunch where
your laughter met the spilled drink
and tears making their way
down another’s skin.
Your hands met my back
before I met the sting
of your unheated pool.
This was the standard when
my lips met your lips
at an age we boasted
in a space that was ours.
My friends met your personality
not once.
Our space was where you launched us.
My gaze met the Milky Way
when you were the only one
around to care for light years.
My feet met the ground
when you called me
your favorite expletive.
You rethought that stunt when
my fist met your face
upon remembering how terrible
you were in the first place.
May 18, 2017
May 18, 2017 at 1:30 PM UTC
I’m sorry that I surprised you with my insecurities, with my doubts, with my way of action.
I’m sorry of my silence, but silence of a wind of lighting, looks so bright but so quit but also means a thousands words.
I’m sorry that I’ve been through a lot where I just compare you with every animal (male) in this field of land
I’m sorry that I wasted your time,
I’m sorry that I tried to take the risk with you, because I liked you and I thought I could love you, the way you fell in love with me
But I just can’t believe you, I can’t trust you, I cant be with you, can you forgive me?
Don’t get me wrong at one point I felt a spark
That maybe just maybe I could fall in love you
But it went away right quick when I rethought about the sadness that I could go through if I fell in love again
But than we have to think about everything is a risk
If you don’t take a risk where would you go in life?
Dec 6, 2014
Dec 6, 2014 at 7:37 PM UTC
I grown up with a wish
that seems with a fish
In a pond of lake,
where a beautifull flower split
Growing alone to its seeds
for flying and wishes to lean
Make a wish of it's own thought
this flower will make not
For it's own rethought
will make a wish of adore
Jun 7, 2018
Jun 7, 2018 at 3:28 AM UTC
A beginning,the gasp faster than a breath,an opening moment,repetitious happening
non monumental,blockage of space .moment within a moment .
Neurological click not some shtick ,the present AS A present ,to be rethought ,again & again often deep from within. The taste,the color,the smell, not just the sight spinning like an auto slideshow
the WA,WA & stinging, even the uneven ringing ,grounded ,a repeat of the past
with no gap ,a quick flux ,then a rush ,embodies a simple thought,
a smile or a fright ,very real,no illusion ,to explain seems a delusion
but reality frozen in a moment ,stuck on a memory ,then it is past
revolving again ,no pain,back on the level plane,then a bump,the glitch
that spins it all ,so fast it is frozen yet again. Rick
Aug 24, 2016
Aug 24, 2016 at 11:58 AM UTC
Argh resolution between
self and eldest
dear daughter more remote,
now then locating
a left handed monkey wrench,
cuz she feels this papa
did deliberate smote
her upside the head, knocking
Eden Liat stone cold
in an abysmal trench
thus, this dada doth fear a mill
stone shaped albatross
around thy neck aye will tote,
where rotting bird
doth emit fetid oppressive stench
gloomily decry death asper,
paternal progeny blighted love
epitaph finis fate wrote.
Methinks (nee knows) marital infidelity
steep dividend warrant wrought
chances greater finding needle in haystack
versus pointless thought
exercise regarding deus ex machina sought
forgiveness ex post facto, rethought,
yet miracle needed, viz
twill require against overwrought
progeny's psyche mor'n
solo requiem Te Deum never sung,
hence no guarantee
father as overthought
against embarkation entailing,
nor divine chorus baptizing can nought
assuage besotted dada's flesh, handwrought
hence fiery eternal damnation
no gunsmoke match e'en gunfought
by Jesse James, no penitence
bequeathed only dreadnought
visa vis admitting how affair
kneaded joyus kindling brought
philandering husband discovered
emotional refuge (against spousal
epithet strewn expletive language,
whence mistress besought
similar ****** satisfaction,
and subsequent fallout an afterthought.
retrospective reflection stills nothing
more serious then slap on the wrist
while engaged (~ January 2010) with
nothing sinful 'bout peccadillo tryst
understandable wife got sorely ******
on the sly behaviour the missus
blindsided, hence over
looked and missed
and figurative wedge
cleft asunder nearly kissed
our marriage goodbye
extra-marital romp illicit,
though we nearly came to fist
sta cuffs, where salty crude name calling
in conjunction with execrable
derogatory cussing contribution complicit.
Jul 10, 2018
Jul 10, 2018 at 6:25 PM UTC
I want to indulge myself in a new color,
but the chosen color is not so colorful.
I want to go too long with my loneliness
but the path is not so wonderful.
I took a break, wait a moment, I thought, rethought
to again started my journey.
I found you there, with lots of happiness, elation.
Deep Breath, I filled up with energy.
I start my journey again, but it has not a destination.
Jun 16, 2020
Jun 16, 2020 at 12:50 PM UTC
There are no other words
that better describe…
So I rethought the terms,
future and past
Bringing them into my
perpetual present
To feast in the moment
—instead of fast
(Villanova Pennsylvania: July, 2016)
May 8, 2019
May 8, 2019 at 3:34 PM UTC