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amy Feb 2021
it’s just not fair
feed her your leftover energy
then fuel her with your lifeless stare

and now we behold
this constructed spirit
purposely provided to fit your mould

a hollow container, she’s not alone
but she is conditioned so deeply
to lock up the unknown

who is she?
for now she is a deer

only very few can see
that she is combatting her fear
JAM Feb 2014
Give.... Me... Somethin'.... to learn
I'll give you, somethin' to teach

Give.... Me... Somethin'... to earn
I'll give you, somethin' to keep

Give me
Stability, when this bridge is weak

I'm lookin' for a platform to stand on
As this lifeform hits its peak
Not inside, but outside, the norm of normal looks for a barrier to breach

Steady as I wobble , you take from my hand, but still.. I... am... a handfull
No push, only the pull... no life left in this knife, the blade clearly is dull
There's no safe, no lock, no code... Only thing you need to crack is my skull

Not how am I, it's how are you doing, how's life? how's time moving?
Are you sick... of the *******? How's barely gettin' by going?
I'm not one to prove while improving, just tryin' to get by while keepin' ongoing

My mind took off
My body stayed put in the loft
What about me makes you think I have the self control to keep from goin' off!?
I'm a mental slob
My brain just oozes thoughts
I don't think, I just act, like that one time I got mad and slapped my boss!!

So here's this...

Give.... Me... Somethin'.... to learn
I'll give you, somethin' to teach

Give.... Me... Somethin'... to earn
I'll give you, somethin' to keep

Obviously aware of all these lessons, I keep stressin'
I might not even have a steady vocation or profession
No sleep even when I should be well rested
I even hate the attention,
But I purposely leave words worth the mention

Now lets just question
The difference between hell and heaven
Whats the difference between an "L" and an upside down seven?
I have no religion, so what's a priest, what's a reverend?

Put it this way at least... Lettin' my mouth off it's leash
Will allow me to speak loud enough to speak my peace

Everytime I fade in
I fade out
Everytime I fade out, I still fade in its just about

The 'who,what,why,where,when??.
How can now be going back to then?
I must be runnin' in ******' circles again!
I lost the dice I tossed to the wind
Maybe I'll give the wheel of fortune a spin
And if it's fortune I win, I'll consider myself fortunate then

Give... Me... Somethin'.... To burn
Without smoke from the chimney, I'll make a fire with words to create heat
I'll just take and keep what's within reach
Even if it's the world beneath my feet

I... Don't... Want... To ... Earn
So without a landing beneath me, I still dive head first when I leap

So...

Give.... Me... Somethin'.... to learn
I'll give you, somethin' to teach

Give.... Me... Somethin'... to earn
I'll give you, somethin' to keep



-J.A.M
howard brace Sep 2012
He'd been conceived in Flamborough, so his little sister assured him some eleven summers ago, which was a tad hard for Rocky to swallow, she was a whole eighteen months his junior and then some... and at that age, well... what did she know, she was only a kid, "on this very rock" River insisted, kicking her heels in delight, "next to this very rock pool" they were both sitting beside, "one sunny afternoon eleven years ago..." and that was how he came by the name of Rocky... she taunted as the rest of the colourful story unfolded... and that she had it all on the best possible authority... although the more she thought about it, had she meant concealed... she wasn't quite sure now, it was all so very confusing at her tender age but thought it sounded close enough not to matter too much and that she would just wait and see which way the wind blew.
        
     It was conceivably an ill wind that blew no one any good that day, especially if you were a boy and just happened to be sat by a rock pool next to your little sister...  Having just taken a well earned drink from a neighbouring rock pool, Sockeye the floppiest Springer Spaniel this side of the Pecos decided that he was going to dig a hole and that he would be digging it deep, then changed his mind mid-dig and decided to have a more down to earth back scratching wriggle instead... then promptly flopped over and slid into the hole... life was sweet.  Now covered from nose to tail with every species of deceased shore life usually found frequenting the high water mark Sockeye, in a blinding flash of canine inspiration judged it would be in everyone's best interest were he to have a really good shakedown which always appeared to go down well on these occasions... and give everyone a good peppering, just so they could see exactly what they'd been missing all their lives.  

     "A rock of all places, for goodness sakes..." and what's more, it was this rock, "Yuk..." he jumped up and wiped his palms on the back of his jeans in disgust, then onto his tee-shirt, then sat back down again and began exploring his left nostril in quiet contemplation before finally jambing his hands back into his pockets... what in Heaven's name had his parents been thinking of..? what on earth was his little sister talking about..? and more to the point, what in fact did conceived mean..?  these were the questions that were uppermost in Rocky's mind as he poked an exploratory stick into the rock pool...  a baby crab marooned by the tide scampered sideways beneath a large pebble and stuck one beady eye out at him... Rocky's sister, seemingly in a world of her own, much like the baby crab sat on the edge of the noteworthy rock kicking her heels, an innocent smile curled the corners of her mouth as she quietly hummed a little song of tuneful bliss to herself and considered what further mischief she could possibly pass her brother's way.

     Rocky tossed a piece of driftwood over his sisters shoulder at a nearby flock of seagulls, squabbling over what appeared to be a discarded bag of fish and chips... Sockeye, simply knowing that his little master wanted to play a game of fetch gambolled after the stick, his ears flying courageously in the still Summer air and burst, amid a melee of feathers into their midst, only to romp back moments later, the stick all but forgotten in the excitement but now proudly sporting the derelict bag of leftovers and the odd splash of guano, his tail lolloping magnificently from side to side... and for the moment at least, leaving the fratching seagulls wheeling noisily overhead and to go about their daily business without further interruption... as for Sockeye, it had been a no contest situation.

     After fourteen years of valiant endeavour his father... Red, so named for his vivid shock of wiry hair, was still engaged in man's eternal struggle to win his significant other half's approbation with the manful art of deck-chair assembly, beach barbeque and other significant gentlemanly pursuits, all while strutting his manly stuff, sporting top of the range beach wear in accordance with the social etiquette of the previous decade... his masculine paunch slumping gallantly atop his waistband...  

     After the same fourteen terms of domestic servitude and the same thirteen identically overlooked anniversary cards a certain someone had no intention of allowing another certain someone to forget so much as one of them... his better half, so she insisted would ride rough shod, administering her own brand of justice at every given opportunity, in much the same way you'd brandish a royal-flush on poker night... or better still, a loaded revolver... and that she personally carried the burden of every ill-fated card that Lady Luck had dealt strung about her neck like Adam's original sin on Judgement Day.  

     Red much preferred the shorter, more condensed name of Rock for his son, rather than the longer more protracted Rocky, as he struggled with the wood and canvas lounger badly trapping the mound of his thumb in the process, "Aaargh...!!!" plunging his throbbing hand deep into the cold, soothing rock-pool "aaah...!!!"   Still marooned by the tide, the baby crab stood poised and ready for action as it considered giving this latest intrusion a good offensive nip, then hang on spitefully as it gave Red the final withering once over with the same baleful eye it had successfully used earlier.

     Acknowledging her husbands misfortune with a perfunctory grunt as she rummaged in her beach-bag for the thermos, she refused to be drawn in where thumbs were concerned right now, after all with his DNA sequencing she was convinced he could probably grow a new one within the month... whilst Tina, well... she was just plain worn-out... but still rejoiced in telling anyone who cared to lend a sympathetic ear in her direction... and who in turn was more than happy to listen to the woes of others and went somewhere along the lines of... 'and had she heard any more of poor Mrs Dorey's lingering martyrdom recently..? you know, the downtrodden lady who lives in the next street but one... and how they would all miss her when she was gone... and how she couldn't wait...' and as rumour had it, neither could her husband...

      Feigning to be otherwise engaged, Tina... as her husband, now blowing frantically on his mangled thumb, stumbled backwards over the half erected lounger and with a spine jarring "Ooomph...!!!" landed squarely in Sockeye's subsiding earthworks... professed total disassociation with the entire fiasco as she plunged her nose even deeper into the overdue library book she'd purposely brought on holiday for just such an occasion, making it perfectly clear that she was a tourist and furthermore, planned to stick with the same itinerary once they returned home... and that while she was here, she did not under any circumstances wish to be disturbed, the notice was clearly displayed hanging from the door handle... but if anyone should, then whoever it was did so at their own peril... and she was keeping score... although a mangled thumb she luxuriated, with the same roguish smile curling the corners of her mouth as the one normally found playing around her daughter's... was equally as heart warming.

      All Tina wanted was one week of uninterrupted peace and quiet in Flamborough, preferably with a certain someone out from under her feet then spend what might pass for several undisturbed hours sitting quietly by the rock pool comparing notes on eye makeup and the feminine merits of pedicure with the little crab who, still marooned by the tide was now sat busily knitting four pairs of matching leg warmers in the cool, still water but that was only if that certain someone... a shrill  "AAaargh...!!!" somewhat more desperate than the first, ****** itself upon the as yet unaggressive afternoon as it gyrated across the warm Jurrasic rock and recoiled out to sea... "now where was I", twisting her book uppermost "oh yes..! someone was going to pay..." only now it was going to be sooner rather than later, but only if that certain someone didn't finish the seating arrangements before the Sun disappeared and drift into some backstreet tea-room before all the lemon cheesecake sold out, or was that she reflected, simply too much to ask.

     It was his Surname that Rock found so objectionable, or it had been right up until his little sister's enlightening disclosure, now it was both names Rocky disliked, it would have been far kinder had Rock Salmon been sandwiched between sliced bread and given to Sockeye... who's solemn duty, from the first mouthful to the very last, was to gaze up beseechingly from beneath the kitchen table  and devour anything that passed his way, even the postman had to be quick about his business or have his arm follow the mail through the letter box... then Sockeye would just smack his lips and help himself to seconds.  

     All Rocky's mum had thought about for the last fourteen years was seconds... every last solitary one of them since she'd suffered with an infection of matrimonial neurosis which had deprived her of common sense and her maiden name, from Chovey to that of Salmon and how with hindsight she should have taken an Aspirin instead, wedlock she asserted was everything the name claimed to be and was without doubt the worst move she'd ever made... and what's more was seen as a bad move in whoever's wedding album you just happened to be paying your condolences to.

     Rocky would never be so fortunate on that score, unlike his sister he was stuck with Salmon for good, his grandma-Ann by all accounts had been dead set against the union from word Go and saw his father as someone who would always be out of his depth in whatever rock pool he found himself in, swimming against the tide as it were, rather than going with the flow... and it appeared that Rocky, almost eleven years into a life sentence, was about to flounder in the same murky undertow as the rest of the Salmon family... only he couldn't swim.

     "There"! her husband exclaimed "all finished... better late than never eh', who fancies trying it"? his wife luxuriated over the words 'better late' and wondered whether her new earrings, her latest acquisition would complement formal mourning attire.  Red dusted off the palms of his hands with the certain knowledge of a job well done and cautiously took one step back, looking with justifiable pride at the outcome of his manly exertions of the last two hours, this was what holidays were all about he declared, one man pitted against insurmountable odds...  His wife meanwhile was getting to grips with more odds of her own than you could safely expect to shake a stick at... her husband being one of them.  

     Having gathered her offspring with the promise of verbal earache if they didn't... and finished packing the beach-bag, Tina finally located Sockeye peering out from the shade of an adjacent rock, wisps of feathers poked tellingly from the corners of his mouth, his tail beating mischievously on the shingle decided in one further blaze of canine brainstorming, as Tina attempted to slip his collar on that a game of tag would just about round the day off nicely... Tina then devoted the next ten minutes chasing him amid unrestrained salvo's of cheering from the rest of the family... then bid goodbye to the little crab who, still marooned by the tide waved a friendly pincer in return... and trusted that she wouldn't have too long to wait for the next rising tide back home, then she slid off the rock with a corrosive... "the deck-chair attendant would have shown you" she snapped "and don't forget the deposit when you take them back" then double checking that she landed squarely on his foot she marched past, her floral sun hat jammed resolutely on her head at what she considered a jaunty angle with her equally jaunty, angular children scrambling in hot pursuit, back in the direction of their lodgings.  

     "Woof "..? said a bewildered Sockeye, bringing everyone to an abrupt halt... and with paws the size of place-mats, he wasn't going anywhere he didn't want to... he hunkered down with a look of hurtful accusation on his face, "oh yes you are my lad"! said his mistress "I've met your sort before" and knew exactly where to place the toe of her dainty size-5 as Sockeye, digging his heals in even further created swathes of canine furrows up the beach, leaving her husband the unwitting holder and in sole possession of the overlooked guest-house keys... and somewhat resigned to clean up his own masculinity and dismantle the recently assembled, now redundant deck-chairs by himself... as for Tina, well... she'd had quite enough excitement for one day thank you very much.

     Morning register was always the worst he thought, as they trooped back along the shingle beach, Rocky making surprisingly good furrows of his own... but the rest of the class loved it and saw it as the highlight of each day... Rocky's form teacher, despite showing a brave face was always hard pressed to avoid bursting into hysterics every time she worked her way down the register to the letter 'S' and would attempt to bypass it altogether, jumping from 'R' to 'T' and just prayed that no one else had noticed, but it hadn't taken the class very long to point out her oversight and... "please Miss" they'd all chant "we haven't had Salmon all week" and while the rest of the class were having convulsive fits, Rocky would elbow the lad sat at the next desk in the ribs... and promptly get one hundred lines for his trouble... thank goodness it was school holidays.  Why couldn't they have been given respectable names like Seymour Legge, Rock wondered, who sat over by the window or perhaps the teachers pet, Anna Prentice or even, Robyn Banks at a pinch, but definitely not what they'd been given and certainly not Salmon, they were the most hilarious names he could imagine and if someone was looking down on them right now he thought... then they had a very unique sense of humour indeed and Rock said so... "why" his little sister asked sweetly, "what's wrong with River Salmon".

                                                      ­                         ...   ...   ...*

a work in progress*                                                        ­                                                              240­6
Kim C Aug 2020
Tribulation and vexation led to this
Fixated on decamping the mess I was in
Participating in anything I had access to
Escaping reality is what I would do
I wasn’t too fond of alcohol; I wasn’t too fond of ****
I had a few drinks here and there, but I had control you see
This isn’t an alcoholic’s story or drug abuse for that matter
You’d probably be thrown off for what I’m about to tell you
Maybe even engage in some laughter
Waking up every day to my escape
It would be my getaway, my slave
Posting online what I didn’t practice
But I needed those likes, I needed to have it
When someone would heart a photo, which pleased
I admired the adrenaline rush I received
And this started leading me to a downward spiral
I was easily shot by the dopamine rifle
Scrolling through my phone all day, I did
And I could absolutely feel the tension kick in
Almost hyperventilating like I had to stay on my device
It was as if the devil telling me, I am a bondservant with no might
Repeatedly trying to appeal to other people
through a false world
Posting many pointless photos, my brain was in a swirl
And looking back, at one point I hit rock bottom
I purposely purchased things, just to take shots of them
& I also look back on posting Biblical things all-day
But not to reach out to others, not for the right reasons, I used it for my own selfish sake,
now that’s some extensive disgrace
Because I needed the hit, I needed the high
I had false gratification from receiving the likes
& I remember constantly taking photos of my self
Spending hours with this nonsense, I seriously needed help
And when receiving little likes, I felt self-conscious and worse
I was worshiping the flesh and depended on this for self-worth
But the Joke’s on you Satan, I serve a greater God
Who convicted me of the things that I was doing wrong
I desperately prayed to Him & kept hollering His name
Asking other believers for help as well, to free me from the cage, I was a digital slave
And it took some time, it took much faith
Sometimes I felt at peace with it, at times I had intense rage
But Jesus is a faithful God, who will always test your patience
Eventually, the fog disappeared, and I eventually awakened
Jesus set me free, but it wasn’t facile to move on
It took a few years, to witness what I wanted to see gone
Now I know my worth & I know my value
I do not confide in vanity, it is no longer my idol
I focus on important things, on things that truly matter
Like Spiritual things, and the God I run after
I know I’m beautiful, & others can attest to that
In no way do I want to sound prideful, but just stating the facts
We ALL have beauty, & gifts to offer
But put God first, and then you’ll prosper
Now I want to end the story with this
This is the story of a social media addict
But now I am free & you do not have authority over me...🕊
Ulysses slept in the cloister upon an undressed bullock’s hide, on
the top of which he threw several skins of the sheep the suitors had
eaten, and Eurynome threw a cloak over him after he had laid himself
down. There, then, Ulysses lay wakefully brooding upon the way in
which he should **** the suitors; and by and by, the women who had
been in the habit of misconducting themselves with them, left the
house giggling and laughing with one another. This made Ulysses very
angry, and he doubted whether to get up and **** every single one of
them then and there, or to let them sleep one more and last time
with the suitors. His heart growled within him, and as a ***** with
puppies growls and shows her teeth when she sees a stranger, so did
his heart growl with anger at the evil deeds that were being done: but
he beat his breast and said, “Heart, be still, you had worse than this
to bear on the day when the terrible Cyclops ate your brave
companions; yet you bore it in silence till your cunning got you
safe out of the cave, though you made sure of being killed.”
  Thus he chided with his heart, and checked it into endurance, but he
tossed about as one who turns a paunch full of blood and fat in
front of a hot fire, doing it first on one side and then on the other,
that he may get it cooked as soon as possible, even so did he turn
himself about from side to side, thinking all the time how, single
handed as he was, he should contrive to **** so large a body of men as
the wicked suitors. But by and by Minerva came down from heaven in the
likeness of a woman, and hovered over his head saying, “My poor
unhappy man, why do you lie awake in this way? This is your house:
your wife is safe inside it, and so is your son who is just such a
young man as any father may be proud of.”
  “Goddess,” answered Ulysses, “all that you have said is true, but
I am in some doubt as to how I shall be able to **** these wicked
suitors single handed, seeing what a number of them there always
are. And there is this further difficulty, which is still more
considerable. Supposing that with Jove’s and your assistance I succeed
in killing them, I must ask you to consider where I am to escape to
from their avengers when it is all over.”
  “For shame,” replied Minerva, “why, any one else would trust a worse
ally than myself, even though that ally were only a mortal and less
wise than I am. Am I not a goddess, and have I not protected you
throughout in all your troubles? I tell you plainly that even though
there were fifty bands of men surrounding us and eager to **** us, you
should take all their sheep and cattle, and drive them away with
you. But go to sleep; it is a very bad thing to lie awake all night,
and you shall be out of your troubles before long.”
  As she spoke she shed sleep over his eyes, and then went back to
Olympus.
  While Ulysses was thus yielding himself to a very deep slumber
that eased the burden of his sorrows, his admirable wife awoke, and
sitting up in her bed began to cry. When she had relieved herself by
weeping she prayed to Diana saying, “Great Goddess Diana, daughter
of Jove, drive an arrow into my heart and slay me; or let some
whirlwind ****** me up and bear me through paths of darkness till it
drop me into the mouths of overflowing Oceanus, as it did the
daughters of Pandareus. The daughters of Pandareus lost their father
and mother, for the gods killed them, so they were left orphans. But
Venus took care of them, and fed them on cheese, honey, and sweet
wine. Juno taught them to excel all women in beauty of form and
understanding; Diana gave them an imposing presence, and Minerva
endowed them with every kind of accomplishment; but one day when Venus
had gone up to Olympus to see Jove about getting them married (for
well does he know both what shall happen and what not happen to
every one) the storm winds came and spirited them away to become
handmaids to the dread Erinyes. Even so I wish that the gods who
live in heaven would hide me from mortal sight, or that fair Diana
might strike me, for I would fain go even beneath the sad earth if I
might do so still looking towards Ulysses only, and without having
to yield myself to a worse man than he was. Besides, no matter how
much people may grieve by day, they can put up with it so long as they
can sleep at night, for when the eyes are closed in slumber people
forget good and ill alike; whereas my misery haunts me even in my
dreams. This very night methought there was one lying by my side who
was like Ulysses as he was when he went away with his host, and I
rejoiced, for I believed that it was no dream, but the very truth
itself.”
  On this the day broke, but Ulysses heard the sound of her weeping,
and it puzzled him, for it seemed as though she already knew him and
was by his side. Then he gathered up the cloak and the fleeces on
which he had lain, and set them on a seat in the cloister, but he took
the bullock’s hide out into the open. He lifted up his hands to
heaven, and prayed, saying “Father Jove, since you have seen fit to
bring me over land and sea to my own home after all the afflictions
you have laid upon me, give me a sign out of the mouth of some one
or other of those who are now waking within the house, and let me have
another sign of some kind from outside.”
  Thus did he pray. Jove heard his prayer and forthwith thundered high
up among the from the splendour of Olympus, and Ulysses was glad
when he heard it. At the same time within the house, a miller-woman
from hard by in the mill room lifted up her voice and gave him another
sign. There were twelve miller-women whose business it was to grind
wheat and barley which are the staff of life. The others had ground
their task and had gone to take their rest, but this one had not yet
finished, for she was not so strong as they were, and when she heard
the thunder she stopped grinding and gave the sign to her master.
“Father Jove,” said she, “you who rule over heaven and earth, you have
thundered from a clear sky without so much as a cloud in it, and
this means something for somebody; grant the prayer, then, of me
your poor servant who calls upon you, and let this be the very last
day that the suitors dine in the house of Ulysses. They have worn me
out with the labour of grinding meal for them, and I hope they may
never have another dinner anywhere at all.”
  Ulysses was glad when he heard the omens conveyed to him by the
woman’s speech, and by the thunder, for he knew they meant that he
should avenge himself on the suitors.
  Then the other maids in the house rose and lit the fire on the
hearth; Telemachus also rose and put on his clothes. He girded his
sword about his shoulder, bound his sandals on his comely feet, and
took a doughty spear with a point of sharpened bronze; then he went to
the threshold of the cloister and said to Euryclea, “Nurse, did you
make the stranger comfortable both as regards bed and board, or did
you let him shift for himself?—for my mother, good woman though she
is, has a way of paying great attention to second-rate people, and
of neglecting others who are in reality much better men.”
  “Do not find fault child,” said Euryclea, “when there is no one to
find fault with. The stranger sat and drank his wine as long as he
liked: your mother did ask him if he would take any more bread and
he said he would not. When he wanted to go to bed she told the
servants to make one for him, but he said he was re such wretched
outcast that he would not sleep on a bed and under blankets; he
insisted on having an undressed bullock’s hide and some sheepskins put
for him in the cloister and I threw a cloak over him myself.”
  Then Telemachus went out of the court to the place where the
Achaeans were meeting in assembly; he had his spear in his hand, and
he was not alone, for his two dogs went with him. But Euryclea
called the maids and said, “Come, wake up; set about sweeping the
cloisters and sprinkling them with water to lay the dust; put the
covers on the seats; wipe down the tables, some of you, with a wet
sponge; clean out the mixing-jugs and the cups, and for water from the
fountain at once; the suitors will be here directly; they will be here
early, for it is a feast day.”
  Thus did she speak, and they did even as she had said: twenty of
them went to the fountain for water, and the others set themselves
busily to work about the house. The men who were in attendance on
the suitors also came up and began chopping firewood. By and by the
women returned from the fountain, and the swineherd came after them
with the three best pigs he could pick out. These he let feed about
the premises, and then he said good-humouredly to Ulysses,
“Stranger, are the suitors treating you any better now, or are they as
insolent as ever?”
  “May heaven,” answered Ulysses, “requite to them the wickedness with
which they deal high-handedly in another man’s house without any sense
of shame.”
  Thus did they converse; meanwhile Melanthius the goatherd came up,
for he too was bringing in his best goats for the suitors’ dinner; and
he had two shepherds with him. They tied the goats up under the
gatehouse, and then Melanthius began gibing at Ulysses. “Are you still
here, stranger,” said he, “to pester people by begging about the
house? Why can you not go elsewhere? You and I shall not come to an
understanding before we have given each other a taste of our fists.
You beg without any sense of decency: are there not feasts elsewhere
among the Achaeans, as well as here?”
  Ulysses made no answer, but bowed his head and brooded. Then a third
man, Philoetius, joined them, who was bringing in a barren heifer
and some goats. These were brought over by the boatmen who are there
to take people over when any one comes to them. So Philoetius made his
heifer and his goats secure under the gatehouse, and then went up to
the swineherd. “Who, Swineherd,” said he, “is this stranger that is
lately come here? Is he one of your men? What is his family? Where
does he come from? Poor fellow, he looks as if he had been some
great man, but the gods give sorrow to whom they will—even to kings
if it so pleases them
  As he spoke he went up to Ulysses and saluted him with his right
hand; “Good day to you, father stranger,” said he, “you seem to be
very poorly off now, but I hope you will have better times by and
by. Father Jove, of all gods you are the most malicious. We are your
own children, yet you show us no mercy in all our misery and
afflictions. A sweat came over me when I saw this man, and my eyes
filled with tears, for he reminds me of Ulysses, who I fear is going
about in just such rags as this man’s are, if indeed he is still among
the living. If he is already dead and in the house of Hades, then,
alas! for my good master, who made me his stockman when I was quite
young among the Cephallenians, and now his cattle are countless; no
one could have done better with them than I have, for they have bred
like ears of corn; nevertheless I have to keep bringing them in for
others to eat, who take no heed of his son though he is in the
house, and fear not the wrath of heaven, but are already eager to
divide Ulysses’ property among them because he has been away so
long. I have often thought—only it would not be right while his son
is living—of going off with the cattle to some foreign country; bad
as this would be, it is still harder to stay here and be ill-treated
about other people’s herds. My position is intolerable, and I should
long since have run away and put myself under the protection of some
other chief, only that I believe my poor master will yet return, and
send all these suitors flying out of the house.”
  “Stockman,” answered Ulysses, “you seem to be a very well-disposed
person, and I can see that you are a man of sense. Therefore I will
tell you, and will confirm my words with an oath: by Jove, the chief
of all gods, and by that hearth of Ulysses to which I am now come,
Ulysses shall return before you leave this place, and if you are so
minded you shall see him killing the suitors who are now masters
here.”
  “If Jove were to bring this to pass,” replied the stockman, “you
should see how I would do my very utmost to help him.”
  And in like manner Eumaeus prayed that Ulysses might return home.
  Thus did they converse. Meanwhile the suitors were hatching a plot
to ****** Telemachus: but a bird flew near them on their left hand—an
eagle with a dove in its talons. On this Amphinomus said, “My friends,
this plot of ours to ****** Telemachus will not succeed; let us go
to dinner instead.”
  The others assented, so they went inside and laid their cloaks on
the benches and seats. They sacrificed the sheep, goats, pigs, and the
heifer, and when the inward meats were cooked they served them
round. They mixed the wine in the mixing-bowls, and the swineherd gave
every man his cup, while Philoetius handed round the bread in the
breadbaskets, and Melanthius poured them out their wine. Then they
laid their hands upon the good things that were before them.
  Telemachus purposely made Ulysses sit in the part of the cloister
that was paved with stone; he gave him a shabby-looking seat at a
little table to himself, and had his portion of the inward meats
brought to him, with his wine in a gold cup. “Sit there,” said he,
“and drink your wine among the great people. I will put a stop to
the gibes and blows of the suitors, for this is no public house, but
belongs to Ulysses, and has passed from him to me. Therefore, suitors,
keep your hands and your tongues to yourselves, or there will be
mischief.”
  The suitors bit their lips, and marvelled at the boldness of his
speech; then Antinous said, “We do not like such language but we
will put up with it, for Telemachus is threatening us in good earnest.
If Jove had let us we should have put a stop to his brave talk ere
now.”
  Thus spoke Antinous, but Telemachus heeded him not. Meanwhile the
heralds were bringing the holy hecatomb through the city, and the
Achaeans gathered under the shady grove of Apollo.
  Then they roasted the outer meat, drew it off the spits, gave
every man his portion, and feasted to their hearts’ content; those who
waited at table gave Ulysses exactly the same portion as the others
had, for Telemachus had told them to do so.
  But Minerva would not let the suitors for one moment drop their
insolence, for she wanted Ulysses to become still more bitter
against them. Now there happened to be among them a ribald fellow,
whose name was Ctesippus, and who came from Same. This man,
confident in his great wealth, was paying court to the wife of
Ulysses, and said to the suitors, “Hear what I have to say. The
stranger has already had as large a portion as any one else; this is
well, for it is not right nor reasonable to ill-treat any guest of
Telemachus who comes here. I will, however, make him a present on my
own account, that he may have something to give to the bath-woman,
or to some other of Ulysses’ servants.”
  As he spoke he picked up a heifer’s foot from the meat-basket in
which it lay, and threw it at Ulysses, but Ulysses turned his head a
little aside, and avoided it, smiling grimly Sardinian fashion as he
did so, and it hit the wall, not him. On this Telemachus spoke
fiercely to Ctesippus, “It is a good thing for you,” said he, “that
the stranger turned his head so that you missed him. If you had hit
him I should have run you through with my spear, and your father would
have had to see about getting you buried rather than married in this
house. So let me have no more unseemly behaviour from any of you,
for I am grown up now to the knowledge of good and evil and understand
what is going on, instead of being the child that I have been
heretofore. I have long seen you killing my sheep and making free with
my corn and wine: I have put up with this, for one man is no match for
many, but do me no further violence. Still, if you wish to **** me,
**** me; I would far rather die than see such disgraceful scenes day
after day—guests insulted, and men dragging the women servants
about the house in
Adam Apr 2015
another dead body that i never wandered upon
eyes fixed by the doctor they never wandered up on
my ace place of thought, out in space
pacing back in forth, purposely losing the race

it was i that was laced
It was a little insane but who
Am I to judge?
You See ....my friend had a theory
how our world came to where it was

So as he told it to me, is how ill tell it
it to you, but not caring if ur believing
But simply I am just repeating
As I found it oddly intriguing

So, it all starts where a society of
of real gods all live
And their kids are subject to
Learning about their power& gifts

And as an assignment school kids
Were told they had to create reality
On a fictitious planet where it'll
inhabit a species with mortality

Using the knowledge you were taught
In science Eco system building
Using philosophy, math. Art anything
You've learned can help your vision

Now the rules of such a creation
We're to calculate things right
Cause once it's created it's living
And we don't extinguish life

So the teacher explained that if
You create and it goes off course
You can only watch it destruct for
example if u Forget a food source

If you forget to make the
physical bodies of the beings
To be properly resilient enough
to match the environmental skeems

You are forced to watch in horror
As the death u caused slowly comes
And only then will you know
What it takes to be a god, and no one

Will have similar projects so no ones
right or wrong that's why you create
It's imaginative and limitless
As long as u properly calculate

So only a week later long before
the deadline when projects are due
one student who made a planet called earth,
that reflected green and blue

And he asked his teacher if he
Could induce the process of creation
Knowing well, that inducing creation comes
after due date&presentation;

So the teacher replied that
Normally he would say no
But ill be honest im curious to see
if u finished only starting 7 days ago

But before you do. I hope you know
The ethical obligation
That comes with creation, don't
U wanna re work calculations?

Cause they need a way to breath
And have a way that their body
Can self remove or evacuate
And the student said like a hobby

I loved I recalculated made
Adjustment after adjustment
So if I'm missing something I won't
Find it cuz I can't see nothing.

So the teacher said go ahead
And the student left that night
To induce the roots that
Wi grow the fruit of life

So time passes and it's time
To present to the classes
This student presented last&when;
he showed earth all of them laughed

And since there is no wrong or right
The student was puzzlesd
As his classmates started asking
Questions so flaws shoe but subtle

"Why would free will have a need"
When u only need to program
The nucleus to force morality
Now it's on you when your plans

Are wrong, but the student
Explained that he could not plan
Like most others did cuz there are
Copious variables when they can

Make their own decisions and
Be there own gods
So I only gave them
the power and respect that we all got

Cause most of your planets are built
By plans, predetermined by control
Where as mine gives them the tools
Without manipulating them wit goals

Only the fear of survival and a
Heightened consciousness so
well aware before acting on wrong
as instinct warns, so they know

What they should do, and would you
Want a program instead of intuition
Robbed of the right to make decision
cuz in my Opinion that is no vision

of someone creating something livin
So overlooked my pessimism
So existence wit decision prevents
planet prison, think of a mechanism

Something designed to mimic
Life mearly living a planned cycle
So most of your plants are more
Mechanisms then life cause vital

Is the presence of survival so
It can serve as a reminder
That recklessness has consequence
To show control of what transpires

Is there's and with this I moved
On well aware it could end
Badly but sadly the same free will
I gave as a gift could curse them

And that's when his teacher said
Class congratulate earth
As I've never once had a student
Factor in free will which births

Authenticity of life otherwise
Your planet is a replication
This projects meaning is
built around the fact that your creation

Wouldn't really be a creation as
A school would never allow
A class of students to cause
creation with no knowledge of how

Uncontrollable true creation is
And that no creations perfected
And bearing the pain of knowing
Something exists in pain directed

By your creation so be patient
Don't spawn life just to see the odd
So the lesson,its dangerous
playing god so it's important u be a god

That's when the teacher dismissed
The class but asked his student
That created earth to stay after
Class so we can decide who is

Gonna break it to my bosses that
You created life
And when they were alone
teacher said plz fill me in and shed light

On how you got everything cohesive
I had to write a new thesis
Many times and felt so blind even
After schooling to breed this

Planet the way you did, how do
They breath explain
So he said out of the choices I had
For elements the easiest to maintain

So it's constant and remains
Is to have what's needed to breath
Surrounding them and that way the
wind acts to spread what they need

So all I had to do was create
an Eco system that's supported by
The same thing but used in a cycle
Opposite to another, so .....in my

case, earth is filled with What the
dominant and sub-dominant life needs
Just like a fish needs to be in water
Earth uses oxygen as its need

So upon designing plant life a tree
And other plants breath
Out the oxygen the eco system needs
so I hope the environment we

Left to them is taken care of,
So the teacher nods and says
One more question which makes
Me wonder if ur advanced or lead

By luck but what was your
thought process when programming how
A basic nucleus functions you
Added so much detail so now

I'm asking why greed, anger and
Other emotional gauges got
So complicated when these emotions
Develop in evolution with thought

So the student replied, ill be honest
I created earth to reflect me
So now I'm more bonded to my
Creation and empathy from me

Would lack if in fact I failed
To know how it felt
To be lonely. Scared or angry
And despite how there all felt

They make us constantly aware
Of ourselves leading to improvement
On a scale more significant so
They would have to be stupid

To not notice with how complicated
They are by instinct and emotion
That if the environment gets bad
Or poverty is had there's a notion

That nags inside them knowing
Something's Wrong and they'll fix it
But ill let u know as time passes
What happens no I'm sorry it isn't

Allowed to go with you. There's
Many issues, and unwritten law
All creations must be stored with
The proper personnel who log

A the findings as some bindings
Have taught us In the past
That evolution after creation has an
Outcome that is worth to track

Each creation and note the
Changes and evolutions as they
May hold the answer To a question
We won't ask til later so I say

You deserve a pat on the back
But we may very well be introuble
As its my job to make sure u don't
Stumble upon it but befuddled

Am I at how you factored In key
elements we purposely leave out
So when your creations crash it's
No harm some as the lessons passed

Cause reproductive systems are
Graphed and added to the math
When your much older in university
Although they teach in class

To give the female of a species
The means to self conceive
With only eggs and the fathers
DNA but still you achieved

A sustainable process, and
If as a novice u can do this
There's no telling what your future
Creations will teach us, but with

All of this comes responsibility
So lets go call the authorities
And let them know we are in
Possession of an unlicensed piece

Of science and be proud. That
U didn't just play god
You weighed the responsibility
And took well measured steps not

Even taught to you, and even
If earth is not with u
It still reflects how complex you as a
God think,so lets hope earth will too

Cuz any misanthropy is misplaced
As imperfections reflexion
is why conception of perfection
Leaves a contradicting impression

Cuz the same section that's stressin
Abnormalities exist
Is the same formality that makes it
normal so this paradox insists

That something is what it isn't
And it isn't what it is
Like love and hate, a perfect life
needs a nature where antonyms sit

And in essence this is why your
world leaves me impressed
But most ppl dont understand this
Theory and will judge it a mess.....
Eleutherophobia May 2014
I can breathe in the passion
Of your coke and pop rocks kisses
And feel my hot lava tears
As I feel you touch me one last time

I can feel the beauty
Pounding down the bricks
Surrounding my heart
As blood starts to seep through
Every crevice where I purposely
Didn't put enough grout
Hoping someone would care enough
To come knock all four walls down

Each embrace is played again and again
In my head before
I lay down in a field of
Wilting daisies
Waiting for you to come
And bring them to life

Forever hopeful is my patient heart
But I have been warned that patience wears thin
After years of wear and tear
And I have heart ghost stories
Of lilacs that stop blooming
When they've been picked so many times

Maybe love does leave
When you hold out so long hoping for its truth
Maybe these beautiful hopes
Strung out for so long
Are more sinful than soothing.
(I won't lose hope.)
Anastasia Nov 2019
Lucy was a girl
With a bright red coat
Dark obsidian curls
You should note
Laughter like bubbles
Floating in the air
Innocent
And unaware
Her kindness sweet
She was never alone
She had the sweetest dreams
Where she and Lucifer would meet
He would whisper in her ear
And welcomed her to his land of heat
But sweet young Lucy
Didn't know
Her left from right from wrong
Sweet young Lucy
Didn't know the Devil's song
So our sweet young Lucy
When her coat was spattered with red
Didn't know when it happened
That her parents were dead
She bubbled with joy
And giggled so sweet
When Lucifer said her name
"Someday you will be my queen," He said
"After you play the Orphan's Game."
"I will see that if you win
You will be the ruler of sin."
So Lucy laughed and said of course
"Sweet dreams!"
She said,
To her parents while they bled
Now clueless Lucy played his game
And lied the homeless to sleep
To the blind man, she said
"It's safe to cross the street."
Feeding starving cats
Poison made for rats
Shattered glass
In the elderly’s food
Helping in the nursing home
Going straight down
Not even chewed
Puppies in wells
Where darkness dwells
Blooms in the water
Scarlet red
Bits and pieces floating up
The sweetest bit is the head
The joyous sound
Of high pitched screams
An infant lost
Purposely
Watch their mouths
Cut off their tongue
Jump from the top
The highest rung
Anyone will listen to
That sweet soft voice
Just a few words
Then they’re her toys
“Please, sir,”
She said
“Do this for me”
Immune to any sense of dread
She played his game
And told his lies
And the game had been won
But even then
When she was done
The chaos had
Just begun
She didn't know
What she had wrought
And pain and lashings
The devil man brought
But not to his queen
For she was his Lady in Red
Sweet young Lucy
Would never be dead
Lucy played
His Orphan's Game
Eventually sweet young Lucy
Soon grew up
And Lucy one day
Fell in love
Of course, it was Satan's luck
The Lady in Red with the softest touch
It was a gory romance
The Queen of Sin
Let the devil man's
Emotions in
And since dear Lucy
Was all grown up
She gave in
To Lucifer's lust
And when I say
That blood was shed
Trust me
And Lucy's sweetness
Was not dead
Some call her darling
Or his Queen of Sin
Some call her Lucy
Or God, even
God was a woman
With a blood-stained coat
The devil man's wife
Swimming in her blood moat
Where the bodies of her parents
Would slowly float
And sometimes scratched
The bottom of the boat
Lucy has won
The Orphan's Game
Lucy had played
without shame
Lucy had let
The devil in
And she became
The Queen of Sin
He spoke to her
Voice sweet and soft
“You are my queen,”
A rotting stench his breath would waft
Hard polished lips
On a baby soft cheek
A twisted smile
A giggle at a shriek
“Oh, Lucifer,”
She would say
Dancing to the screams
She would sway
She’d sing him pretty songs
Tales of gore she would spin
Everyone in his land of flames
Would bow down to the Queen of Sin
I changed it up a bit and added about a page more here and there for an assignment :)
Olga Valerevna Jun 2015
if i can't sleep beside you i don't want to sleep at all
i'd rather be an orphan in the places where i fall

and i'll continue living like i never had a home
make everywhere i'm going just another place to roam

there's not a single step that i can purposely explain
but all of them collectively are holding fast today

it's not the kind of feeling you could ever even dream
i'm nothing but myself the days i'm nothing like i seem
some days weigh more than others
Jonesy Nov 2016
It knocks you down purposely, half expecting you to kick the bucket,
But it never ends there, when it realizes you got back up,
It works on your weaknesses.
Nothing comes easy, and if it does chances are you won’t appreciate it,
Life will **** you dry like a mob of leeches.

Life doesn’t care about your race, social class, gender or age, honestly,
But you better remember life believes in karma,
So it will **** off our people senselessly;
Having the family members crying “Why yuh tek he life fa. ”

Yes, Life can be a pain in the rare end,
But it's how we adjust,
Live  your life to the fullest, to someone else be a friend,
And life should give  you back what you put out; "In God we trust"


                                         Jonesy 2016 ©
The truth about life is that it isn't boutique the obstacles instead it's about how you overcome it
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
Blackness covered the sky.  Only a small shimmer of light from the moon fell upon the city.  Martha put the key to her apartment in the door and turned it quickly and purposely.  She got an eerie feeling as soon as she walked inside.  She felt something was terribly wrong.

Martha turned on the light and looked around.  Well, everything looked ok, things were where she left them.  She was a neat freak, and if one thing was out of place, she would know it immediately!  

Was she just being paranoid again?  Living alone has been a challenge for her since her boyfriend of fifteen years left a few months ago.  She was not used to being alone.  She went from her family’s home, to college with three roommates, then on to living with Billy the last twelve years.

She remembers the day he left like it was yesterday.  Three months ago she came home and he announced that he was leaving, for good.  He was in love with someone else.  “That *****” is all Martha thought, not blaming Billy for falling in love with another woman, it had to be “the *****’s” fault.  

She begged and pleaded on her knees for another chance.  Another chance for what?  She was the perfect partner.  Neat, clean, cooked, made love on a drop of a dime.  She kept herself in good shape, nice figure, pretty face and long brown hair.  So what did she do wrong?  She couldn’t understand, and he wouldn’t explain.  His bags were already packed and he was going.  She asked who the other woman was, but he refused to say, just wished her well with a pat on the back.  “Wish me well!  Go to Hell!” Martha screamed at the top of her lungs.  Billy, looking embarrassed and uneasy, grabbed his suitcase and headed for the door.  Martha was still screaming and crying when he walked out.  She collapsed into a pile of jagged rocks when he left.  She doesn’t remember how long she sat on the floor crying.  It seemed like days, even though it was only a couple of hours.

She finally pulled herself together and got off the floor.  He was gone.  She ran to the bathroom, his toothbrush was gone.  For some reason that made it feel so final.  The picture of the two of them at her sister’s wedding was still on the bedroom dresser.  That was from five years ago.  They looked so happy, so wonderful together.  How could this be happening!!!!

Well, she should be over it by now, but she’s not.  Constant reminders of Billy are found daily.  Just little things, like his coffee cup in the cabinet, the kitchen magnet they bought together on vacation…  They are all little pins in the voodoo doll, poking away at her heart.

As she looks around the room, she feels sad.  It’s so empty now.  She walked over to the closet, took her coat off, and turned to the kitchen.  That’s when she heard it.  A crashing sound came booming from the kitchen, like all the pots and pans had fallen.  She panicked for a moment, no time to think, what does she do?   Is someone in there?  

She starts back toward the locked door when she sees him come staggering out of the kitchen.  It was Billy.  He looked drunk and could hardly walk.  “What are you doing here?” Martha asked with a frightened voice.  Billy just swayed there, holding on to the wall, and then she saw it.  Blood on his hands, blood gushing from his chest.  “Oh My God” Martha said as she ran toward him, “are you ok?”  Billy just slid down to the floor, he could not answer.  She ran for her phone to dial 911, but just then he came around a bit and stopped her.  “NO, don’t call anyone!” Billy said “I can handle this.”  But Martha didn’t seem to believe it seeing the blood still flowing on the carpet. “What should I do then?  How bad are you hurt?  What happened?”  The questions kept flying from her mouth, without her knowledge of what she was saying.  “Get me some towels,” Billy faintly said as he held the wound on his chest to keep the bleeding down.  Was it a knife wound, bullet wound?  She had to know, but he was in no shape to talk.  She kept changing the towels for the next half hour, until the bleeding finally stopped.  Applied pressure worked, but now what?  She had to clean up the wound for infection and bandage it properly.  Billy still hasn’t said a word.  Blood in the kitchen and her rug now. How could she be thinking about that, although she was upset, **** Billy!  

She made sure he was conscious and left for the pharmacy.  She grabbed large gauze bandages, tape, alcohol, and cleaning solutions for her rug.  How did she get into this?  Oh yea, he was at her apartment, but how did he get in?  She didn’t have time to think of any of those things until now, as she was paying the cashier.  Lots of answers she needed, and needed soon.

Martha returned to the apartment and Billy was resting, eyes closed, but not asleep.  He grunted a few times, not knowing she was back.  Martha went to him and said, “Billy, we need to clean up this wound and bandage it properly.”  Martha was always so level headed, knowing just what needed to be done and how to do it.  Billy murmured a soft “ok,” before closing his eyes again.  This was not going to be easy!

Martha removed the towels that were starting to stick to him with the dried blood.  She knew she had to clean the area of his chest with alcohol.  She could hardly see the wound through all the blood.  This was not going to be fun.  

She took out her latex gloves to start with, she always used them to clean.  Then started to clean the wound with the alcohol.  “This is going to sting,” she said to Billy.  He didn’t even flinch.  The cut wasn’t that deep, and luckily not near any vital organs.  After cleaning up the wound, she got the gauze and tape out and wrapped him up in it.  He was barely awake by now, but at least not screaming.  Maybe he did have more than a few drinks!

Martha walked back to the kitchen.  Let him rest now, but she needed answers.  She looked at the blood splattered kitchen and wondered where to start.  Then it occurred to her, should she be scared?  She hasn’t had time to think anything through, only react.  What if he was in trouble and someone was after him.  Obviously this happened here, by the positioning of the blood speckles.  

Maybe she should leave the crime scene as is, if she has to call the police.  She needed to know what was going on!  She hadn’t seen Billy since the day he left, nor has she heard from him. Who knows what he got himself into.  Maybe the ***** ***** did it?  

She got out a new pair of gloves and started to clean the carpet at least.  That was blood he dragged in later, so not really part of the crime scene.  She had no tolerance for dirt, no less blood stains!  Ugh, hopefully it would come out.  All the while, she’s still running different scenarios through her head on what could have happened.
dear iron maiden

leatherette bound spine

worn blue dress

gaslight district cafe smile

eighth floor

ninth floor

whatever

i’m here

four doors down

knocking on

thrift store loneliness

that you just can’t give away nowadays

we

dare polaroids

point and laugh

but not of mockery

catalog pictures

a galaxy or two

more panoramic for any shutter

wide angle lens

a thousand batted lashes

and double takes

i’m easy to capture

and purposely left behind

like a coffee cup beyond the windowsill

beneath the screenprint letters

(and) for your eyes

——————————-

wednesday
it's ok Mar 2016
Ohmygod
I'm sick of this
You know what I mean?
People who are purposely cookie cutter &
Afraid. If you step out the lines, someone
May not approve. I'm gonna say this again in
Different form.
If you're in this for approval, you may be diagnosed with: someone else's life
Side effects include: not living for yourself, depending on others, and being too scared to grow.
They say "youlaughcausesomethingilaugh because you're all the samestayweirdbedifferent"
And ohmygod I've heard it all before and it doesn't end

They tell each other to be different all in the same voice
DoyouknowwhatImean
Oh no I'm not searching for approval
But I don't mind respect, but
I won't beg for your time
Kelly Miller May 2016
I overheard a conversation between two friends at school today.
One was saying how she was too fat for her own liking.
The other said she secretly takes her mother's pills and puts them in her drinks to lose weight.

Look.
Taking pills isn’t a good way to lose weight.
Especially if you’re stealing them from your parents.
That’s just completely idiotic.

It’s also idiotic that the first girl said she was “too fat”.
People today, especially women, think they have to be top notch for a person to like them.
I know you’ll hate to hear this but, you don’t!
You don’t want to be like the models who purposely make themselves sick.
You don’t want to be a person who always lets themselves down.
You don’t want to be that person who rarely eats then have a chance at death…
Just because you’re “too fat”.

It’s ridiculous that people have to be just the right size to have somebody love them.
Or because others can’t see your ribs means you’re not skinny enough.

Be happy with who you are.
Why should you let somebody ruin your life with lies?
The lies that tell you, “Oh! You’re too fat.”
Or my favorite, “You should go get sick to make yourself skinnier. It’ll help.”
Please don’t be that person that let’s lies ruin you.

I’m telling you what I think.
I’m letting you know my opinion.
I want every single girl, women, man, boy, or child in general to tell themselves -- right now…

“I’m beautiful even if others think I’m fat.”
“I will never take diet pills to lose weight just to impress people.”
“I will never encourage others to get sick to lose weight.”
“I will never, ever forget to tell myself that I’m beautiful just how my body is…”
Written May 2nd 16
2013/3/18

*This is part of a conversation between me and a girl. We both write poems back and forth to each other. This poem is in response to her asking if I was telling her how I felt about her "between the lines."


The language found between lines,
Is purposely caged within confines.
The tumult found within the head,
Leaves the best left unsaid.

Does it even matter that we see,
The words hidden in each degree?
What good would come if then,
We listened to the words within?

Maybe the best is better left,
Between the lines, thought bereft.
If you wanted to, you could express,
Those three words within your chest.

But how could I come to believe,
That I was not being deceived?
All the evidence poured out over months,
Has left me unsure of all the wants.

Maybe freedom of heart is close,
Maybe it is what I want most.
Even now, as I lie in bed,
I wonder at those, words left unsaid.

If you can decipher such curious rhymes,
And even still read between the lines,
Then you should understand my quandry.
And understand why I don't know if I'm free.

Because sometimes, no matter the rhyme,
There is nothing you can do this time.
Nothing will erase the past,
For me, acceptance will only come last.

If you can't imagine why I hold back,
Then perhaps take a small track.
Imagine it from my point of thought,
And maybe then you'll see why not.

If others read this, they would know me insane.
If they read ours, they would know pain.
If they read yours, they might not see your best,
But what they should see, you're a beautiful mess.

Again, for C
Phoenix Rising Feb 2017
5:25 P.M.

I have made a vow to myself.

I'll never let you go.

All the nicotine,
alcohol
and pills
can't wash you away.

You're a stain
I purposely poured ...
all over me.

I close my eyes
and I see
nothing but you.

Nothing but you and me.

Love ***** me up
---for better and for worse.

But I won't let my mother
and my father
pass down this....
curse.

Some day we will
purify our love
and it will no longer hurt.
Marigolds Fever Sep 2018
Ruby red love
She didn’t give it a shove
With delicate diamonds just above
A love to find
Not the gaudy kind
Purposely shaped heart
In search of where to start
Placed upon a tiny finger
To make one stop and linger
A Ruby shine
With Red glare so clear
So much so
That one could begin to fear
What would happen if they
Tried to disappear
Runaway they might
With just cause
Of too much fright
Would bring her to shed a tear
That Red ruby so clear
Reminds her of the cheer
And the time he spilled his beer
Red ruby dazzling bright
If only see the light
Whats its symbolize
Character or compromise
She was utterly surprised
That tiny clear red ruby
A reminder
Love is never like that movie
Ruby red love
Unmistakable beauty
Recalling a late summer sunset
A clear preset
With its curves
Upon that finger
Can be a deep stinger
If not preserved
Prompts the feeling
Sensationally deserved
Jen Jordan Nov 2015
forward forward forward
going somewhere moving forward
whether progressing or regressing
growing or unlearning
coming or going
living, dying
everyone believes they are moving towards something
and as everything happens all at once
each perceptive reality is entirely different than any other
and each consciousness travels, and does, and is.
each consciousness believes it has a purpose or a path.
the purpose is not to see into nor plan the future.

from the civilian to the hero tv shows and movies
have consistently glorified the ability to see visions of the future
generally this is followed by someone trying to prevent
the happenings in said vision from becoming reality
and distinctly failing because they "saw into" the future
that their own energy influenced

but the true super power is to be able to look into the past.
to prevent the omitting of details and data
to avoid a rewrite of our conscious interaction with this planet
not to white out the chapters that bear the truth in the textbooks
to recall history so it does not repeat itself

my question is then
do people disguise the wrongdoings of those hidden by the passing of time?
because they are ashamed of the mistakes of their ancestors pasts?
because they are ashamed of their participation in past consciousness's?
because they are ashamed of the atrocities humans have inflicted upon each other and themselves as well as their home planet since the beginning of recorded time here?

or do those who have the power to omit and hide history
purposely rewrite it?
do they mask the pains of the past so the rest of us will forget?
so that even they can forget?
so their next consciousness can unknowingly, while predestined,
have hand in crimes against the world all the same as committed in the lost past?

how many times has someone written these words
or a similar combination
only to delete the post?
burn the pages?
backspace the message?
stop themselves from speaking them aloud?
cover the symbols?
pass out of conscious living mid sentence?
lose them to a past lifetime?

how many times has this cycled through the same way?
how many times have I been me?
how many times have you been me?
how many times have I been anyone?
how many times have I been?

is there a rhythm or is it all as scattered and random
as the thoughts that bring you
to this kind of an understanding of the habit of misunderstanding?
the kind of thoughts that bring you back to the birds nest because you were too early for even the worm?

they will all catch up eventually
after all they all think theyre moving forward
and they don't even know where they've been.
they don't even know that they've been.
skyler molina Jun 2014
18
Her hands shaking like the bedpost,
Springs are sprung in a similar way to how I am for her,
Bending over effortlessly to feel the sway of her remarks.
If only her remarks were as sweet as her accent,
(If only she had an accent.)
Brave wake-up calls furthering our existence.
Memories lost at the bottom of half empty bottles & at the top of the ping-pong ball's curve.
The sky has been dark for a few hours & the back seat is really the only place we have ever found coherence at.
Tears. Lots of tears.
"Forget about them, take a little chance with me."
The friction,
the faulty red cups,
the unforgettable music,
the fair use of things that are older than our grandparents,
the flavor of her lips, (which makes me think of home, which makes me remember what shattered glass looks like on a kitchen floor & helps me remember what hands that would grab my arm too hard felt like) nostalgia in a pair of lips,
the fruit we were all too eager to try,
the fall of our bodies & the rise of our voices,
the few times we actually would like to remember,
the famous upside-down sip,
& the four words that I could never say in her presence again:
•Light
•Deer
•Exhibit
•Hello
"Promise me you won't forget me."
Misunderstanding her voice never helped me until now.
We're very tired.
We're very sleepy.
But yet our lips aren't.
They seem to forget their purpose once they have a taste of sin.
"Please don't tell anyone I did that."
We're too young for this & I think that's why we do it.
Purposely persuading your every step.
"Don't tell her I said that"
Home is now haze & books are now blur.
More tears.
"I'm not ashamed of you, I just like keeping everything a secret."
We're too old for mistakes & I think that's why we choose to make them.
Calm nerves make her nervous & so do unsteady pens.
"Please don't be mad at me."
We're too smart to be stuck on the same chapter & I think that's why we close the book instead of continuing to read on.

We're all just accidentally sinking to the bottom of the ocean.
Hal Loyd Denton Oct 2012
For the election Abe Lincoln said we should read such things as these

O thou great Jefferson in whom dwelled the fidelity of a nation of free men.
Thy secretes can be viewed as we watch you live and breathe the life of a grand Virginia planter
When one is a student of nature and observes its subtle lessons becomes its master and ally. The next
Step of going to lead men is reasonable when taken into count the natural gifts that were refined in
Quiet fields and hills in lengthy times of treasured solitude that is not to say there won’t be difficulties
But to a merchandiser of lofty thoughts this is of little consequence. There are issues that must be
Divined through the protracted business of hard arduous study. Man’s soul drifts in and out of the valley
And hills taking unconsciously truths that exist they are everywhere but can be buried in life’s clamor.
To purposely walk across a field with your with your senses open will usher you into a place quiet
Unsettling if you are one who is uneasy in your own thoughts because the vistas will allow your mind to
Extend it to the far reaches ordinary thoughts will jump over conventional restraints and give you
Profound insights Jefferson graduated from this school of higher learning for this very important time
This man of stature arose he flung freedom’s door wide open walked through set down at his desk and
Masterfully penned immortal words, to this day time hasn’t diminished any of their importance or there
Revered excellence this document would go unparalleled in type and execution, in forming the basis for
Human conduct it would forever alter the landscape that that had existed before its grand arrival.
The stinginess of former centuries were at long last over the mind had finally
Liberated the body the willingness to do for one’s self had taken the lead there was no
Turning back, these actions would recommend them as a people. Their credentials intact now they were
Ready for the world stage a new birth of nobility walked into the human condition and it wasn’t
In the least bit hesitant to speak thoughts that had long been silenced.
The trouble today stems from the lack of understanding we have about the truth,
Of what oppression would be unleashed if our form of government would be allowed to be dissolved we
Love the dream but deplore the reality. That this system will only work when we are involved. It has a
Built in detection device, you can’t use its rewards without paying it back with service.
The results will be contagious you will be left with a weak sickly government.
The remedy simple everyone has to be its central guardian.
This does not mean that it is weak this was the way it was created it is as strong as you
Are willing to have it know this it will always be dependent on human involvement.
We might not like it but we are making a choice freedom will be loosed or bound by our decision.
The product that we deal with is very supple and ever changeable it becomes whatever form you pour it
Into this is in accordance with its nature it also is a gauge of those that handle its virtues and shows if
You have had reverence or contempt. You will be left with honor or disgrace did you carry forth the gift
Or allow it to waver the children of the next generation are watching.

Streaks of Jefferson

In freedom’s blessed glorified sky through streaks of immortal gold his visage we behold
He looks upon the fields of liberty that he and the founding fathers sowed he sees the
Richness America has become he also beheld her struggles catastrophic wars abroad
And the most painful the one that divided the nation marred it with southern and northern
Blood saw the affable the sad giant Lincoln take the reins of discontent hold them by
Shear will and with uncommon sagacity guided it back in line to fulfill its destiny as the
Powerful fount that would always pour forth waters of freedom for all of earths peoples
Total unconditional acceptance of liberty and all the fruit it bears to establish a
Government like no other this golden grain has waved under bluest skies and brightest
Sun light its rich harvest has gone to darkest prison cells Mandela was sustained by it
For twenty nine years and by its moral purity it fed the lives of those that over threw
Apartied and Mandela finally freed by principals it avows rose from prison clothes
To wear the mantle of president of his country and the honor of the man instilled
Quality that transcended political office Jefferson not to be disrespectful to his progeny
Whispers today’s politicians could do well to look on this African model of good
Stewardship of public trust with that Jefferson faded back into the mist pray that’s
Not the fate of this country

Most hated twins

Who are these two desperate characters revered but feared by all
To make their acutance few will volunteer those who know them well
All can tell by the drawn face and the tears that swell the pool where wisdom has her rule
Achievers welcome them as honored guest they withstood the test now they the richest blest
At mornings first blade of light they strike with all their might they the quickest to fight
Timorous to afraid how many have dwelt by waters undying well only to die unfulfilled
But others tried and they fell the well is to deep its where darkest shadows creep
We will be lost in these new surroundings the familiar there will be water there too
Yes stagnant unmoved guarded for naught its benefit was for the traveler going places
For you it will be your grave marker he talked and talked but venture on never
He said he was the clever one as his countenance slowly turned to stone killed by apathy
Green pastures call to find them in yourself health you will install
Few are they that were meant and born to reside in the same place you must go
If you stay rebuild the common and ordinary your monument then they will admire
Who stood to long and with all intention he gave it only words action was the wonder that was missing
Treading a narrow path in the end if you buried or squandered your talent divine wrath you will face
Cast your seed far and wide how can you not see the need sorrow has them tied
Push back the encircling darkness with the light in your heart that God did endow
Go and answer the door your guides are here I want you to meet two friends Pain and Adversity
Two finer companions you will never know Washington and his men befriended them at Valley Forge Concord, York town. Lincoln met them first at Bull Run Antietam I think he gave a little speech at Gettysburg. One birthed a nation the other saved a divided one.
Ahmad Cox Jan 2012
Arrows fly like darts through the wind
Piercing whatever they can in their path
Just as arrows can pierce a person's skin
Words can pierce just as bad
Sometimes we walk around
And we are not aware of the affect that our words
And our actions have on other's
It is so easy to be malicious sometimes
And to say things that we know might hurt people
Especially when we are feeling threatened
Or when we are angry
Or even to hide ourselves and our own insecurities
Its easier sometimes just to put some one down
Piercing them with our words
And stabbing them with our actions
A look
A glance
A snicker
Avoiding them all together
Purposely going out of your way to hurt some one
To try and get back at them
For some wrong we think they might have done
Its easy sometimes
To send these verbal projectiles
We toss them around all the time
Letting them fall wherever they may
Leaving carnage and destruction in their wake
Harming and scarring those who they hit
Blindly hurting people
Whether it be intentional or otherwise
We need to be more careful with each other
And try to heal the hurt that has been caused
By the random sling
And the wayward arrow
That finds its target
And sinks into their soul
Gabe Jul 2016
This is my promise: I will raise my kids right.
I will never raise my voice to them.
I will never raise my hand to them.
I will lay not a single finger to them.
I will never threaten to kick them out.
I will never drag them from our home.
I will never threaten to harm them.
When they do wrong, I shall teach them accordingly.
Not with anger in my voice,
Nor with fury in my hands.
Shall they wrong me, I will calmly explain as to what they did wrong.
I will not purposely anger them.
Nor will I manipulate them.
If I find me to be in the wrong, I will admit it, and I will not twist my wronging to make them in the wrong.
I will raise them right.
Not with anger or threats.
If they be gay, bi, or straight, they will always have a bed.
Should they be trans or not, my arms will always be open.
No matter what wrongings they have committed, I will never speak with rage.
They are my children, and they deserve respect.
They are humans, and deserve to be treated as humans.
Not as a dog that has torn the couch,
Or soiled the bed.
No matter what, I will be kind and gentle.
Never will I drive them away, nor shun them.
This is my promise: I will raise my kids right. With love and kindness.
Respect is not earned. It is always a given.
Eileen Auger Apr 2014
Open and Shut

There are those of us
in the human community
walking around enclosed
in self-constructed shells,
shielding themselves
from random stones flung
or darts purposely aimed to hurt.

Taking no chances,
even their soft underbellies
wear secure armor
against any possible onslaught.
Nothing comes in,
nothing goes out.

Others walking among us
are tender as children
still full of innocent trust
like delicate blossoms fully opened,
redolent with sweet nectar
destined for honey,
and seedpods freely given up
on gentle Spring breezes
carrying away bits of future beauty
to distant fields of wildflowers,
blissfully ignorant
of  tomorrow's killing frost.
Everything comes in,
everything goes out.

Eileen Auger
2007 or thereabouts
Jon Tobias Jan 2012
I sent you an e-mail

But purposely got the address wrong

Just so I could see your name in my inbox

I mean

imissyousofuckingmuch@thiswouldonlybeeasierifyouweredead.co­m

You get a reply back

That says

“Being gone is beautiful

Try it sometime”

I don’t know where to go

The newfound balance in all the chairs I sit on throws me off

Put a level on my shoulder

Watch the bubble

It doesn’t know which way to lean either

I mean

Sitting up straight and proud

Has only even been for people who

Don’t have a shoulder to cry on

The density of your presence

Is big enough to make me walk funny

How I would have push back so hard against

Your shoulder leaning, I dare you to walk straight type, hand holding

So as not to walk into strangers

My left shoulder is boney bump bruise resistant

And I crash into the edges of things sometimes

To keep it that way

I mean

You’ve made me so much a slap stick version of myself

And I miss you

Because the world feels funny now

Because I am still learning what it means to have a true center

True balance

And I miss you

But I don’t want you back
Bor ehgit Dec 2016
I'm feeling a little weaker now, that you have finally decided to leave. There's not an ocean deep enough to chain me beneath, I'll still see the sun and compare it to your eyes. I'll still feel the knifes from when you said your goodbyes. Darling, times standing still, as my fingers tap nervously. Lying to myself, about how this couldn't be purposely. It's impossible to think all that love could be gone, or that there's a stranger in your room, putting your shirt back on.*

I've spent the last week hoping that I'd be fine, I've written hundreds of poems that I tried to trap you inside. But you seep through the cracks, you always remain. Your the one person I loved I guess I couldn't escape.

Are you proud babe?
well you should be.
lov es Dec 2012
She says to me, why do you love me?
And I respond in kind,
purposely avoiding the question because really, I don't know.
It's nothing my senses can describe, and my language is no better.
I say I love you, simply because I do.
Am I pretentious?
Alaina Moore May 2018
You can think whatever you like.
That’s the freedom of thought.
Experience leads you to perception,
so let me tell you stories about
you.

There was once a time
where we were at odds,
and our spirits acted as
poles on a magnet.
I tried hard to turn myself around
but I ended up in an uncontrolled spin.
Ever gaining velocity
from your push.

There was once a time
where you were deceitful
and purposely put me in a situation
where I had to keep quiet
about your pathetic inability
to have an ounce of self-control.

There was once a time
I coddled you in a moment of pain.
I sacrificed my focus,
for your feelings,
as friends do.  

There was once a time
where you invaded my personal space
without permission.
Too intoxicated to remember
but vain enough to run from the truth
of your unwelcomed actions.  

There are many times
when the words that flow
out of your mind
and to your mouth
are convoluted, primitive
thoughtless, and egocentric.

There is now a time
where I do not call you friend.
When the veil has been burned to ashes,
and all that remains
is the same exact person
you claim to have slayed.
****** predator, pathological liar,
selfish, and narrow minded.

People never change.
To quote Eminem "...it ever occur to you that I still have pictures?!"

"I am not the one with whom to ****" - Aliens
"I could
tie a plastic zip tie to my wrist
real tight until the veins pop out
just like a blood test
when the nurse
ties your arm with a rubber band.
All so that i could pull a blade
from its dull rotten scabbard,
purposely rusty but very sharp
and slice right through the plastic
into my pale green flesh.
Make it look like an accident,
An act of carelessness,
A fools play time with plastic and knives."

Today was the first time,
in a very long time,
to re-entertain dark mischievous
thoughts.
Thoughts on taking what wasn't,
isn't, and won't ever be
Mine to begin with--
My Life.

It is owned by,
represented with
three circles:
Red, Blue, and Yellow.
But it,
I,
was never fully accepted,
almost shedding tears
in a cell full of strangers,
strangers i somehow knew
but
Strangers all the same.

What got me through
was a hopeful bubble
that at each day's end,
I'm reincarnated into a different world,
A virtual one,
Escaping my past life of which I am residing in.
    
     An assasin running through rooftops,
     A lone wolf learning to survive in a fictitious world,
     A super soldier shooting bad guys all night long
     Or straight up controlling the mind of a completely different being
     (Thank the heavens for video games).

But this is in no way
A solution.
It is temporary,
not an end
to a new beginning.
Matt Jun 2015
Soon the lie will no longer be profitable and the evil elite won’t be able to hide the extreme environmental changes and chaotic sociological behavior manifestations. When it’s obvious to everyone that things are getting worse, because infrastructure and entire areas of real estate are not being repaired, know that the false powers at be understand there is no need to fix them, because more damage is on the way.
This summer, right now, and getting worse every day, food rationing is increasing because our food chains are being altered with GMO and infected purposely with deadly viruses. This summer, right now, and getting worse every day, water restrictions are extending into more areas because our weather system is a mess, they have ******* with it so much it’s now effecting our vital resources. When our basic needs to sustain life start being taken away from us, the game is over.
Take note, are you profitable to the planetary system being put in place? Do you go along with what the government tells you to do, and how to think? Do you question? Do you support vaccines, same *** marriage, one world religion, one world government etc. etc? If you are not on board with the one world thought that is about to be massively unveiled, when the re-boot starts your purpose will evolve into soylent green (food for other humans-cannibalism).
Once it is obvious, that the bulk of humanity will no longer be profitable via work force labor (because labor is becoming mechanized using robotics) in any form, guess what? You’ll be used for slave support yielding Food, and a section of humanity that is remaining will be harvested. Everyone is familiar with the term hell on earth, well this term was created for this time, and everyone is gonna have seat at this picture show, everyone.

Repent and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Pray for your family, friends, neighbors and countrymen.
Alert from former Navy Seal
Joy Amore May 2015
I toss daggers
And like a Boomerang it came back
I purposely spit fire hoping u would do it back
I spit fire so u can hear my cry of help
I spit fire so u can stop me
But you don't
you allow me to hurt myself
U abandon me when I need help
How can you not see my change
You were my best friend before you came more
Before u decided to get expelled
And leave me alone hurting
When did you think about me
How everything that you do effects me
When did you think about How I would feel
Only you know the answer to the question and the rest of us got opinions but I am so tired of fighting these battles I can't win with you
I sick on the bruises  unseen that are in my heart
I sick of u not thinking about my soul
I am tired of everything
I just wanna start over
bob fonia Dec 2018
REC
what/====/what  ==
  what./==what.///=what.//==/what.
  here, it is a tar pit  the yellowed trees all that eyes  see cherry blossoms through &through cherry blossoms  cherry blossoms through and through and through  cherry blossoms through
   it soothes- -it becomes ..it blooms -it becomes ..it blooms ---it becomes ..it blooms ---recantations  reconsecration
so many many ages ago,  “probabilities man probabilities”
that’s about itt, man, it seems“similarly“,,,,, noww nowwthe drudge  magenta!noww, man-about time
as i knoww itt” well for once “ once  so pretty  ” she-says -cohorts
justt a dayy more we are closer-hippyhippy-hopp
the  best off linens the blue coats the finest frivolities all that  is pristine pristine-here/Jesuits
a sea of happiness in here everything
a well laid dining table a desk to write read eat a tree outside the never ending vanity fair “that  the magic will live  never will die
cause it’s automatic for people”says-Scot  it is really  automatic-now

“ patterns  emerge   as my prime whiter s,man”----tells,Joe
    

cups of tea-  chamomile- tells Jon/ mayb  “as much as you will like to mingle/&dangle-&mingle /double dribble/triple./Onegin //all the  wriggling the  implausible imposing    ,, nibbles ,,all the book keeping
“the classic anecdote” iff i mayy ... we are all  only supercilious  there’s more here to come”----Jim,, retorts tells
“to which i may”,tells jill    a sheep is _, its all gloom and  kingdom comes
   reasons /and acuity/  th more the merrierer   my bliss/slits
/ & the black space everywhere in
   them the/many minds   all the more   \><citadel.come and go touch of gold   see to believe  
             &&&&&
  <    deep blue lakes &blue that  never end their rune and it  returns  a ship on her chest a ship on her chest,on her chest-that i will reach places un dreamt of
\   will   returnn  > there. everyplace tea<>>>>\
   stays afloat,    dispels /beaten /scowls  scary ,tea<>>>>\all-of jiggling/ bouncying   ><weeds out / >minuscules
ripes/renders jesica>>>>jamboree  come face me.
     the grandest / all  the oddities   one magic invention i was missing all this time transgression/ kindda may be timid /  
  my jive / rruby/mouthing a last supper if you will .something akin
   timid all this time
  wt i was endless immeasurable the - wild/beckons/ ribbons and knots
door to door tropic  day/&night; /beckons// ribbons and knots
\i  was i would  on my side Ausual-revival Arendition again  again
and  lifee-like -ride  and whatever moreover all oveer the leftovers
rose swells . fine  our grasslands,you know, stilts frantic Jiving,Jiving Jiving in smoke  -reels/incapabl,,indecicve
one more dayy nd through h moors
are off ,,,, raspberry,Jiving,Jiving Jiving
discontent  / neatt/  mother  fuggazii ,Jiving,Jiving Jiving ,a week goes ayb a month a long intention, itt- sooths./all the more oegin \Gerianne- ,,twitces  .astute, many floors up,pigging cleaning,every quarter
the clouds/massquadre ,this is cat to,, through ,,moved,moved,,moved

, a-blue,, a-temple a bloom,a ,temple a rook a trek a stoop now
Buddha, a simpleton/buddah geriane 16-1-5-1, miniature lamps,,blizzards6-1-5-1,
all that can in a man/rigour all that hula hoop
possibly a merry christmass,, dayys spent ,,,  full
you  are all that is sire a \ all the pleasures off a small room
full off all the kool tools an art decoo sire by now you know it
all thecrystal fairies in blue crystall *****
pretty slick,,,runs ,piping hott ,, undone  &the; buddha, the-rider,, the- boxes,,,layaway the glistering the beaming, all  the book keeping
a philistine, if i mayy impeccable, and  free
glitters all  the hourrs,a\ repliccaa just a beguiling  taste ,\
,sire,,little empty purposely,, masterfully done,,,sire
beefy ,,sire,and, plenty-full surelyy
the nectar bequeaths

projected .mediocre , mister faires in ferries  shimmering  dearest of stories  / wings/reminising _faires
drool  an artt decoo sire,,,a purple tea *** in which we drink our tea,,,mirrors,,, the very best in the pristine
the mannequins,,all the more-buddha,the-rider,, the- boxes,,
,,sire iff only i may all that   hula hoop.dope-slopes -keystrokes -rabbi=ed folks we traversed   alone
among the ******* faires shining.and whineing
tee -hometown alleys too,the innate shufling,  neat //pique
   from,treetops,bellhops,  all  those-pitstops
   chit chats-flips flops flat-crapp
lemonade/the charade the bee all the hives-all
handmade kind of  dreams /transpicuous
**** you would knoow you would knoow-that anyway blinking/ slits . //slithers
leaping/ reaping/ leaving all blue //eyes bulls eye

archic // mine  !all blue //eyes----  eye leaping/ rearing/
leaping/ reaping/leaping/ rearing/leaping/ reaping/leaping/ rearing/

  
and now the mother  a finale-  ( )   grand //tiers ;piping ;deep-dives................
-clean-off beat -best kept thatt  allures us //still gilding  top -down.  in
fairies   delusions/- 2rapid 2rabid distracted
comes easy free /  -******
a cup of tea/honey -man i know  with it  /// batteries  jazz like   *******
time and time againn pronto sire
wired tried intake-uptake /cup cakes/hatted  /// orbs many many many kinds justt soo many soo many  many
  any takers in no hurry
/Orphic
left /blending/mended melting too which she says enough off all this shenanigans i want //if this is
her

— The End —