"psycho" poems
Martha was ugly, like a shaven baboon.
So she wrapped herself up in a curtain cocoon.
One week later, she finally emerged---
She smelled like ****
What a ******
Mar 27, 2015
Mar 27, 2015 at 4:42 PM UTC
drowning in caffeine
breathing the nicotine
my blood cant circulate - your love will stimulate.
the ****** of death in **** will simulate
your touch , my need
as we spiral in to sin
separation , depression , paranoia
anxiety - the absence of my sleep
aggression , desperation
toxicity - of a drama we are in
discoloration - i can't control the spin
screams - muted by bitter pills
our dreams - induced by the acid
capsuled lives - longing self destruction
your embrace - disconnection
release me from what is real
obsession - for what we cannot fix
frustration - for what we can't control
memories - of what we used to be
delusions - of what we could have been
isolation - thoughts of being free
now voices dictate what i should feel
digging through my skin - opening the wounds
put your fingers in
remembering the days when we held
an illusion no drugs could replicate
i can't forget.
exchanging promises of never letting go
was it all in my head?
i can't escape the hole.
i walk the road alone.
Jan 19, 2016
Jan 19, 2016 at 7:35 PM UTC
I am having writer's block
and experiencing all this anger
and hunger and love and regret,
I feel like I just don't have a bowl
for all these incredible feelings.
I just don't have enough respect for words anymore.
I want to make a cake out of this psychedelia
and I don't even have a sweet tooth.
Where do I put all of it?
Not how.... where?
I feel like drinking water without pills is vain.
Air left in my stomach
makes my mind a ****** stalker
who'll chase you down the road
suddenly have concussions and die in front of you
and make you call the police for a whole new different reason.
Writer's block is ghost town
and I am still human without a soul.
How to die beautifully?
Perhaps when the sun shines the brightest in the dusk
burning everyone more than ever.
Jul 21, 2018
Jul 21, 2018 at 2:10 AM UTC
Since I was born I couldn't feel
what others feel
I never had anything that was real
Actually it doesn't matter...
It was real enough to me
They told me it would be fine
but they locked me up, took what's mine
What they did turned my life into dirt
Actually it doesn't matter...
I don't feel and I can't be hurt
But one day I will myself on them avenge
****** revenge
Dec 12, 2014
Dec 12, 2014 at 3:18 PM UTC
I'm made of all;
The books I've ever read
Poems I've ever written
Faces who have smiled at me
Hugs that have wrapped around me
Caresses that have graced my inner thigh
Countries & continents my feet have touched
The lovers as we simultaneously reach ecstasy within
Lonely nights shedding tear drops
Nights gazing black skies moon & stars
Children falling asleep to my heartbeat
Animals whose soul was found through reflective eye stares
Conversations spoken in French, Spanish, Italian, Xhosa, Afrikaans, Norwegian, German
Years of ****** cognitive-, dialectical-, art-, drama-, music-, mindfulness-, trauma-, psychiatry-; therapies
The drinks & drugs & mind altering substances dispersing my mind
In all I'm made of;
Love
Lust
Greed
Fear
Joy
Freedom
Longing
Dreams
Despair
Sadness
Anger
Frustrations
Happiness
Anxieties
Insecurities....
In all I'm made of;
A soul; securely contained within a body of battled scars;
over;
pain & triumphs, losses & gains, rejections & acceptances, dishonours & accolades...
With the hope; she too, can live life through.
© Sia Jane
Sep 22, 2014
Sep 22, 2014 at 8:52 PM UTC
*
*hold me not
touch me not
maybe I'm clumsy-clumsy-clumsy!
have headache
want chocolate shake
maybe I'm lazy-lazy-lazy!
feel me not
mind me not
I'm cranky-cranky-cranky!
the mood is swinging
find me clinging
I'm touchy-touchy-touchy!
may be crazy
sometimes hazy
I'm moody-moody-moody!
stay away
go your way
I'm feelo-feelo-feelo!
just be there
patient listener
I'm despo-despo-despo!
here i contradict
have conflict
I'm psycho-psycho-psycho!
changing hormones
troubling estrogens
tell me not a fatso-fatso-fatso!
maybe I'll be ok again!
maybe you'll love me then!*
*
Aug 27, 2018
Aug 27, 2018 at 9:29 AM UTC
I expect the same love
Received from early age
Betrayed and neglected
Inside my mental cage
Now I live like a ******
From my childhood pain
Getting hurt very young
Really damaged my brain
Forever I will live this way
Feeling sick and confused
To be such a young victim
A child sexually abused
Aug 9, 2014
Aug 9, 2014 at 9:04 PM UTC
Skeleton bones in the closet, no, not I, I got live bodies locked in chains. In the spirit of Halloween, I'll wear a hockey mask and be that obsessed killer. Teenage kicks, listen close for the screams. ****** from neglect, ****** because of reject, ****** brought on by me always feeling depressed. You called me names, you tortured my spirit, you ****** me like the idols you worship. I've worsen since i started feeding on your hate. This is my manifesto. Are you scared? You should be. Because I won't take the ranting rambling bigotry you speak. This will be something straight out of a horror scene. The plot thickens, foreshadow what's next. If you think this story is fiction well it's not because we live in a cold world and I'm only giving you a description, a depiction of what words can do, I use mine for assistance, I learned to listen, I hope you do too, because you can create a monster with the powerful words you decide to use.
Sep 3, 2014
Sep 3, 2014 at 4:00 AM UTC
I get all the girls, all the girls,
i get all the girls, all the girls
I save all the hoes, all the hoes
i save all the hoes, all the hoes
I cant find me no women...
no women..
I couldn't save no women...
-Diary of a PsychoSuperhero
Jan 23, 2013
Jan 23, 2013 at 3:57 PM UTC
Standing on the edge to a sea of pure lunacy this lily blooms,
Her scars, she wishes them not to fade but to shed more blood,
Corrupted by the world around her, which took what she held dear, The only wish to seek revenge she blooms while sympathising with fury and hatred thicker than the spreading of the darkness of night,
A murderous intent, likely energetic enough to break through the ground to get what her desires tell her she needs so dearly,
Getting rid of everything, the love within her hurting chest, so she'd eventually awaken as this distorted image of what was once pure,
Her enemies shall try to escape while observing their dying moments,
Laughing at them whilst watching how they are ruined in seconds,
Throbbing in the dark, the figure of hatred wriggles in moonlight,
Lonely the soul resented by life, keeps up her riot for once more,
In bloodlust and vengence for her own reflection cast on the water,
Deep within her, a crying, broken, yet flickering light calls for help,
If forgiveness could be served, her wounds would heal and she would be able to be herself again, free without any grief or sorrow,
Maybe then, she will even be able to feel love again.
~ Umi
Mar 6, 2018
Mar 6, 2018 at 12:35 PM UTC
Sickly might,
cravens and craving demon drooling bite.
That fleshly flaunt of fool and privilege,
he burned to smoldering.
Lapped his blood from crowned jewel
and corroded golden spires.
The lost cadaver,
pride driven manicured demon of self
driven greed and godly hunger.
Such as fiendish that ******
the sulfured serpent,
tis a sickened beast in dread black suit,
raffled in silken red tie
it's but the psychopath's blood smeared human hide.
Crave the flesh,
tear and splatter the soul from within,
fiends of fantastically practiced to perfect parallel smiles.
They'll slip your soul from the bars of your throat,
reap every inch of the body's hold.
Steal friendships to lips,
lives to hips,
slurp the killing,
seize the blind weeping cold.
You've got nothing not to be swept and stole.
Soulless has a studded luster,
but the ****** socio bleeds liquid sins,
bears fangs plastic wrapped in blades,
human game is the psychopath's wet dream.
Aug 28, 2011
Aug 28, 2011 at 12:27 AM UTC
They came in like a gun blazing
Death and rage in their eyes , gazing
They aimed to **** , **** them all
They don't mind , school or mall
Ending lives, satisfy their deathly hungers
Idolising their holy religious plungers
We name them terrorist , ****** killers
They spill blood just for the thrillers
Success is counted with the lives they ****
Human blood not unlike their own, they spill
Destroying families , the world they stitch
Life is Life and Karma's a *****
Jan 11, 2015
Jan 11, 2015 at 11:35 PM UTC
slip my hands around your throat
slip my blade though your vein,
Little monster.
Throw the first punch
you're already dead
why not die twice?
Theres already blood on my hands.
Guilty pleasures of the deviant mind
scratches down the spine,
Bite marks along your side,
Love bites across your collar bones.
my little monster,
Make a sound
leave your moans down the hallway.
Latex gloves against the skin,
Making his incision
victims lie screaming
eyes wide open
he looks down
for he found his little monster,
Within.
Sep 16, 2014
Sep 16, 2014 at 2:32 AM UTC
what is luck?
i have a dotted line that i've been trying to fill in for my whole life
diagnosed at nine with a carrying-too-much disease
but i can afford the pills and therapy
from someone else's wallet
but
for how long?
tell me, doctor,
when i'm off my parents' Healthcare Plan,
will you still want to talk to me?
we've built such a great relationship
in the past lord knows how many years of
punching mirrors
kissing porcelain bowls
would you please keep giving me ****** lotion
to smooth out the holes in my brain?
what about the other kids who are dying out in the same crispy sun that doesn't set?
tell me, do you feel the same compassion
for these daughters of dopamine deficiency?
would you hold the hands of thirty year olds
who still fear the monsters under their beds?
you *******
do no harm
and turn a blind eye
and i know it's not your fault
but **** it, Look Me In The Eyes
and tell me
what do you plan to do?
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014 at 10:31 PM UTC
Im watching over them...those freaks and perverted beast...the dark flesh that owns the land..I save them from there doom...keep them out those tombs...my job is to protect the sick...as I sit...I glimpse and I see a ray of hope...
Purity...from the ***** of my imperfection...I began to be aroused...thought about swooping down, in a single bound..being so cliche'..but I've since grown from my stereotypical ways....Cuz this world here ain't kind to no hero..this worlds only sin painted in a mural...But she could be the one...my chance to save the day!!...But they wanna **** the hero...they say **** the hero....Try to save the hoes...but I think I save a woman...kryptonite to my sins...She could be the cleanse...I could actually win...
-Dairy of a ****** superhero.
Mar 4, 2013
Mar 4, 2013 at 9:14 AM UTC
I am...
Funny word that
So perfect, so fitting
****** -"relating to the mind." "A psychopath"
"Somatic " - "relating to the body, especially as distinct from the mind."
Its great knowing the pain I feel...
All of its in my head.
I'm crazy for inflicting it on myself
But im ****** i cant help it
Psychosomatic is what I am
Mind over matter...right?
Jul 5, 2015
Jul 5, 2015 at 11:14 PM UTC
What we have is nuts, crazy, mad
But it's just that
I like to laugh instead of being sad
I like to giggle so people know I'm not that bad
Mr.J knows that
He gets what they don't
He sees what they wouldn't
When I'm with him I feel warm
Not alone
I'm damaged but so is he
I find it hard to manage
But not with him
You see?
Do you see he just gets me?
My 'Puddin makes me happy
Even tho I'm the baddest bady
We're meant to be
Sometime we paint white roses red
Each shade from a different person head
Don't look at me
Or you'll lay in your dead bed
Don't dream
Dream is a killer sometimes we get drunk with a blue caterpillar
He's peeling the skin of my face
Cause I really hate being safe
The normals they make me afraid
The crazies they make me feels safe
I'm nuts baby I'm mad
The craziest friend that you ever had
You think I'm ******
You think I'm gone
Tell the psychiatrist something is wrong
Over the bend entirely bonkers
He likes me best when I'm of my rocker
Tell you a secret I'm not alarmed
So what if I'm crazy... all the best people are
He thinks I'm crazy
He thinks I'm gone
I think he's crazy to
I know he's gone
That's probably the reason that we get along
Dec 3, 2016
Dec 3, 2016 at 5:11 AM UTC
You say you're there for anybody
& only a phone call away
But where were you at 3am
When I couldn't breathe
& held that blade to my wrist
You care for everyone else
Except the one person who needed you
I needed you
You did nothing
Walked by me crying in the halls like I was a ghost
& if I choose to put this blade
To my neck instead of my wrist
& end it all tonight
I'm sure you'd laugh
& be perfectly ok
With the fact the ****** ***** is gone
So don't say you care
When you've made it obvious you don't
Jul 13, 2014
Jul 13, 2014 at 11:33 PM UTC
I have taken myself to far.
I have given myself over to
something to strong.
This frenzy
lifts me to my
fate.
Guides me to my
doom.
Into you.
Is where i will fall
Your hogging
the equilibrium
I see you
dying
to come out
and ruin me.
Jan 17, 2012
Jan 17, 2012 at 12:24 PM UTC
Insomniac as he turned.. A murderer he became
With so little to be done at night.. A new hobby has been gained
Slaying throats of fainted shrieks.. With the slightest pity and a merciless shame
Hoarding victims of ill-fated fate.. He came to acquire a notorious name
Dark in soul yet bright in mind.. Causing suffering, suffering pain
Cross his path, no one shall.. For he will rip your skeletal frame
Pray for mercy to the mighty Lord.. All your prayers are lost in vain
Call him a sick, son of a ***** For ****** is his middle name
No guns of lead, or shots and loads.. A single knife and a bleeding vein
Lock in stare and know for sure.. Your days are out and your time has came
Oct 23, 2013
Oct 23, 2013 at 11:11 PM UTC
I was the Crown Prince,
Prince Khurram was my name,
Of Emperor Jahangir I was the son,
Shāhjahān was the royal title I took,
Shihāb al-Din Muḥammad Khurram
Was my formal name.
It was I who got the Taj Mahal built.
You criticize it as wastage,
As an old man's obsession,
An egotistical marble effigy,
A mark of wasted resources,
And a psycho's rare ambition,
You may detest it's purpose...
But I built it out of sheer love...
Love for power,
Love for wealth,
Love for health,
Love for ruling,
Love for display,
Love for strategy,
Love for history.
I want to be remembered.
Just as I want my poetry in marble,
Pure white poetry to withstand,
In the tests of time to prove me true.
Forever, you'll remember me.
And my crazy love for my Mumtaz.
Jan 19, 2016
Jan 19, 2016 at 6:59 AM UTC
"Nita, what do you NEED ?"
I HATE it when someone asks me that question!
"Nita, What do you need?"
NEED: “require”… “want”… “necessitate”
"What do you need right now. You don't have to do this in isolation."
"What do you need right now? I am not afraid of the little girl."
"What do you need right now? If you need something I am here to listen."
"If you don't think you are safe, then what do you need from me or others or yourself?"
Why does it matter what I "NEED"? Why do you ask me when you are not going to be able to grant that/those "NEED(S)"?
Is my Survivor Fairy Godmother asking you for a list of Nita's NEEDS so she can come wave her magic wand, sing, bippity, boppity, boo...and I'll become an unf@#ked kid?
Well, why didn't you say so!
Here's my list for the Godmother:
I NEED to be 'unf@#ked'. I NEED the voices in my head to stop. I NEEDED my evil father not to touch me. I NEED the flashbacks to stop. I NEED my body not to hurt. I NEED the fear to stop. I NEED for you to be here for me NOW like you WERE then. I NEEDED to be loved by my parents. I NEED someone to teach me what love really is. I NEED someone to show me that trust really does exist in this world. I NEED you to help me at night when I am suicidal and dissociative. I NEED you to be available after 10pm, when the hell started, you know, like you used to be...back when you actually cared about what I NEEDED. I NEED the little girl to stop whining and crying. I NEED to not have physical symptoms that relate to then. I NEED the nightmares to stop. I NEED the constant headaches to stop. I NEED my crohn’s to not be in a constant flare up. I NEED to stop having recurrent UTIs. I NEED the ****** Angry Girl to stop hurting me. I NEED to sleep. I NEED to want to live before I die.
I NEED you to hear me.
What? There is NO Survivor Fairy Godmother? NO magic wand?
I'm shocked! NOT!
I'm guessing that's why she never showed up then, either...I prefer to think that rather than her never answering my cries of: Please make him stop hurting me!
I NEED you to STOP asking me what I NEED Since we both know that those NEEDS will NEVER be my reality, and that it is actually more painful to ask for what you NEED and not get that need met, then it is to keep your NEEDS to yourself. At least that's true for me.
So...unless you have a survivor registry where I can resister for the aforementioned NEEDS, or, perhaps a survivor merit system where I can earn credits to 'buy' the above NEEDS (I'm not afraid of hard work)...then STOP ASKING ME WHAT I NEED!
Because we both know it does not matter what I NEED!
Can't undo what's already been done. We both know that.
What Nita "NEEDS" right now is a bottle of ***** and some cranberry juice…THAT is a NEED I can meet right now!
A TOAST!
Here's to: UNMET NEEDS
Oct 7, 2013
Oct 7, 2013 at 10:32 PM UTC
The sun falls...and the freaks are on the rise...With my Cape wisked behind my back...the freaks are on the rise...
I save you from their touch...I'll keep your out their grasp...Cuz im here to save the world this is what you asked...And she screams...I go to grab her hand but instead I grab her *** and as I lift her from the danger....the freaks are on the rise...she looks me in the eyes...opens up her thighs....and claims I am her savior...Cuz the freaks are on the rise she can see it in her eyes...I'm the hero of the world here to save the girls...cuz the freaks are on the rise...and I can see it in there eyes....#psycho superhero
Dec 10, 2012
Dec 10, 2012 at 12:27 PM UTC