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Arija E Oct 2017
Awhile since I've written
Awhile since I've thought
So much has happened
So much has not

I've gotten married
I've met the one
All my problems are solved
All my tears are done

But here I am laying
Just like I used to before
Thinking about life
Wanting just a little more

Even when it is perfect
I must still ponder
The state of me
Me and all my wonder

No matter what we share
I am still just me
Writing poetry in the night
Just like it used to be

That's the more I want
That is the more I miss
Just some time with me
Less time with Mrs.

So it has been awhile
But I am still here
Laying next to him
But making myself clear
Arija E Apr 2016
I swallowed my pride and said
               "Go home tonight"
I swallowed my dignity and said
               "I'll pack you some snacks"
I swallowed my anger and said
               "Text me if you need anything"

I should have realized

He had someone who was already telling him to come home
He had someone who would have food waiting
He had someone to text if he needed anything

I wish I spit.
Arija E Dec 2015
I didn't realize I had stopped taking pictures of myself
         Maybe because he already knew what I looked like
         Maybe because I had forgotten
I didn't realize I had stopped listening to music
        Maybe because I had found all the songs about him
        Maybe because I had nothing to sing about
I didn't realize I had stopped imaging my future
        Maybe because it was already set in stone
        Maybe because it was not mine
I didn't realize I had stopped writing poetry
        Maybe because one can only write so many love poems
        Maybe because I no longer liked to think about my feelings
I didn't realize I had stopped journaling
        Maybe because he was there to share and remember with
        Maybe because I wasn't doing anything worth writing down
I didn't realize I had stopped working out
        Maybe because he loved me no matter how I looked
        Maybe because I had lost the motivation
I didn't realize I had stopped reading
        Maybe because I didn't need to escape anymore
        Maybe because I never had a moment to myself
I didn't realize I had stopped sleeping in my own bed
        Maybe because I was sleeping with someone I loved
        Maybe because I couldn't stand sleeping alone

I didn't realize I had lost myself
       Maybe because I was too busy taking care of us
       Maybe because I had stopped.
Arija E Feb 2015
He called me his girlfriend
In the midst of casual conversation
I waited for the stutter
Or the correction
At least the clarification that usually follows
But he just went on
He went on to talk about simple things
I forgot all about it
Until we hung up
I instantly tried to rationalize
To say, he just misspoke
It didn't mean anything
He just was talking
But that was a lie
It meant everything
Hope was given with that word
But I know it was a mistake
I am not his girlfriend
He just misspoke
Arija E Jul 2014
There might be those that try to climb it
Take hold of it's sides and say they've grasped it
Sit on it's peak and believe they've conquered it

But they really never can

All anyone can really claim is that they stood at its base and took it in

That they just knew of it's everlasting and immense presence and lived in its wake
Accepted it as it stands

So concrete
So massive
So impossibly surmountable

The mountain of my love
Arija E Jul 2014
Sometimes I get this ache
In the pit of my stomach
But deeper somehow
It pulls me down to it
Like a scrunching up carpet
Folding in what I am
Getting stronger and deeper each pull
It'll reach my throat
I'll feel like I need to *****

You are a part of me
Festered in that pit deeper than my gut
The part of me only you can touch
But it pulls me night and night again
When you are not there
It pulls and I let it consume me
I just let it ****
No amount of your clothes helps
Only you wrapped around me will

That is when I know that I miss you
Arija E May 2014
My laughter
Your jokes
My smile
Your eyes
My fight
Your reason
My freedom
Your soul

The most perfect sound in the world
Would be the sound of little feet
Made by little yous with tiny bits of me
Miraculously running throughout my life
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