"gluteus" poems
Deeper than the captivating shape it has,
Lies a greater purpose it stands for.
So vast and strong,
It rotates laterally
and extends at your will.
It stands strong, defying gravity
cushioning you for your comfort
and holding your pelvis still.
So appreciate it for more than it's curves;
stand tall and thank your behind
when you bend.
For it is greater than
it seems.
Nov 5, 2018
Nov 5, 2018 at 6:25 AM UTC
Gluteus Maximus
That Gladiator of Rome
Got into such a rage
That his mouth did foam,
He cursed and snarled
And snarled and cursed,
Yet things didn’t improve
They got much worse;
His fists beat the ground
And he spat into the air,
No one dare come close
When his temper did flare.
Furiously struggling
To undo a knot so big
It wasn’t his strong point,
He couldn’t give a fig!
Unable to get to grips
With his **** leather laces
Those sandals caused such scowls
And grotesque grimaces...
So, aren’t you grateful
That he isn’t alive today?
That bad tempered warrior
Your life he would slay
Just with one of his black looks
Or a growl at your face,
You’d probably explode
With only a trace
Of smoke and shoes
Left where you did stand,
Nothing but grey ashes
On the Coliseum’s red sand!
Jan 19, 2012
Jan 19, 2012 at 1:42 AM UTC
Rest easy, read these heavy words of slumber,
tap your chest to the beat of your heart,
empty out breath even from the deepest parts
the void, will fill itself, with sleep, I hope for your sake.
Scrunch those toes to close, then let them relax and let go,
Half close those toes and let them loose, shake them once and again,
Tense those calves, feet pointed at the ceiling, if you are willing,
Go half way and shake the tension away, from you,
Quads and hamstrings, next remember in pretext, full and halfway,
shake the tension away,,
gluteus maximus
then abdominals
and lower back
and in their turn
chest, those pecs to reflex and relax
latissimus dorsi, my oh my you got your back
shoulders,
hands of fingers, just like the toes,
pretty soon you might doze,
forearms, biceps and triceps too,
neck and face shrug and scrunch,
you don't have the answer,
so pucker your face,
eyes are the last close them once,
eyes are the last close them half,
eyes are the last,
I hope you never read this far,
unless you are awake, after a
night of rest fullness, so if it does
not work, know this, I will sit by
your side so you can unwind,
I have a good year for listening,
on pillow soft words, for you to put
your sleepy heavy head.
Good...night...yawn
Sep 8, 2013
Sep 8, 2013 at 12:34 AM UTC
We’re always taught in English lessons
That in language, less is more
So why say ‘lady of the night’
When you can just say *****
Why on earth say ********
When you can just say ****
And why on earth say ‘faecal matter’
When you can just say ****
Why say ‘gluteus maximus’
When you can just say ****
Saying ***** instead of ****
Is a total ******* farce
Saying ****** ***********
Instead of saying ****
Is a bit like saying ‘waterborne bird’
Instead of saying ‘duck’
Why would you say ‘I didn’t enjoy it’
Instead of ‘it was crap’?
And why say ‘could you please be quiet for a moment?’
Instead of ‘shut your ******* trap’?
That last one’s a bad example
It appears forceful and rude
I suppose the point I was trying to make
Is that swearing ain’t always crude
If you think a lack of necessity
Is a reason not to swear
Then prepare to ****** all unnecessary things
From out your tender care
Chuck away your scatter cushions
And candles you’ll never burn
If you don’t throw away your cookie jar
This debate will be adjourned
For a lack of true necessity
Doesn’t make something offensive
Cursing has too many critics
That’s why I’ve come to defend it
And if you disagree with me
Prepare to bare the brunt
You may think I’m ******
But I think you’re a ****
Oct 22, 2013
Oct 22, 2013 at 8:03 PM UTC
A bone meets another bone
And you have a joint !
Joints are allright !
Cartilage !
Without them you couldn't possibly dance !
Imagine only your sacrum and your ilium
and no sacro-iliac joint
And no innominate bones
Imagine just a second a pelvis without coccyx
And your seven cervical
Your twelve thoracic
And your five lumbar vertebrae
Hanging loose !
How could you possibly swing your pelvis
From one side to the other
Without your pelvic floor ?
No more grand plié
No more passé développé à la seconde
No more attitude en avant on pointe
Farewell penché
Farewell attitude derrière !
See what I mean !
That's why I always say
I'd rather be with no bone
No skull no heart
Ï 'd rather be a hurricane
Wind has no skeleton
Wind needs no joint
Wind goes naked
No shoes, no underwear
And despite of all that
Wind is a ballet dancer, a danseur étoile
With no dimples in the back.
Wind can lie supine and stand upright
Feet parallel, legs stretched
Wind has no greater nor lesser trochanter
Wind has no right gluteus maximus muscle
No feet flexed, no ****** femoris muscle
Wind never gets pinched, stuck nor jammed
Wind is constant ricochet, yo-yo, meanders
Gulf Stream !
Wind is a catwalk model
Dancing its swinging walk
Aug 27, 2019
Aug 27, 2019 at 6:50 PM UTC
‘You ********
You ********
You ********
It’s all I hear
Being shouted down
The corridor
Thank God I’m
Walking the other
Way.
I do miss those nights
At flat 33.
It’s another generation
Another guy being
Thrown out
On his gluteus
Maximus
Told to scram!
Get the **** out!
Because Delilah’s on it?
And he’s out.
Some of the best and worst moments
Have been endured on my bottom.
Nov 12, 2011
Nov 12, 2011 at 10:08 AM UTC
I'm afraid
no, I'm terrified
terrified of a world where you get to stare
into the paradise
that is your eyes
as often as i do
that you get to see the sunlight
create a glimmer reminiscent of
the shine of a diamond
as it bounces off your smile
that you see more than the curves
in your gluteus
that you learn that you're beautiful
& get used to it
that you learn the patterns
of the palms of your hands
& notice how the constellations
pale in comparison to their beauty
cause to be honest
i'm petrified
petrified by the thought that
one day
you'll learn to adore yourself
as much as i adore you
& realize that you deserve better.
Oct 28, 2014
Oct 28, 2014 at 11:47 AM UTC
as she's
so felt this
way too
but her
slits between
thighs array
with shirts
that she
skirt her
ludicrous
beliefs that
really miss
tan lines
round her
gluteus maximus
Aug 3, 2017
Aug 3, 2017 at 2:02 PM UTC
Sandy is it over?
We don't get the news here in the woods
No cable in the caves to where we all ran away
When we heard what you'd planed to do
Has the cold harsh wind subsided
Can we all come out from hiding
Sandy we ain't lying
When we say this was all very frighting
Sandy is it over?
Is the world now a happy place
Can I call the furry woodland creatures out
Let them know it's once again safe to frolic and play
Bambi and Thumper are still shaking
The Mantis are still praying
Quite the shock waves you were making
What with the way you were behaving
Sandy is it over?
Will the world tilt back now on it's axis
Will the Earthquakes, Tsunamis, Tornadoes cease and desist
Can our Gluteus Maximus now relax on us
Can't say it wasn't a thrill
We're just thankful that no one was killed
Remember you do this again and we will
Pack our bags and head back to the hills
At times we may be fat, dumb, and lazy
But with all of the above we ain't crazy
Sandy is it over?
Dec 13, 2014
Dec 13, 2014 at 7:32 AM UTC
left foot right foot
toes flex ankles whisper
such tendons soothing calves
little hollows backs of knees
firming hams singing strings
so maximus her gluteus
spine serpentine how undulous
soft shoulders rounded corners
hands caress twin handrails
her flight arrests a backward glance
what are you staring at
only you ascending love
Dec 1, 2016
Dec 1, 2016 at 4:18 PM UTC
aye savor the faire genetic blueprint
extant unique to each of us
with this quite alimentary aire
including (that almighty,
bottom, cushiony, dimpled,
excretory functioning Gluteus Maximus
i.e. the ***** when bare
with subtle difference sans,
both halves at first blush,
but tucks upon closer scrutiny
obvious inexactness crystal clear
as a bell jar, asper each body electric,
whence deserved of en dear
ments despite however much junk in the trunk
behind the private
no trespassing (non verbalized)
signs posted everywhere
off limits only to a select few like this bard
attired as if from the Renaissance Faire
whose unconditional acceptance
unlike the majority hoo gawk and glare
if bipedal hominid dealt
chromosomal traits say with excessive hair
which mane of tangled strands,
could be problematic and interfere
with coaxing, finagling,
or inducing friendship with an initial jeer
from him or her averse
toward such imperfection to boot
huff lawed physical human specimen
such as this ole coot
(who haint really that old),
can upon command execute
a feigned display
and appealing as fresh field picked fruit
at this stage of ma life
donut give a rats *** nor an owlish hoot
what other may decry about me,
cuz self acceptance doth agree
buzzing with greater confidence, esteem,
and general weaknesses such
as lack of physiognomy incongruent cee,
which asymmetry of this primate feel free
er than his pre/post pubescent
corporeal essence he
near put himself in the hand
of that grim reaper, a key
poor of lifeless beings,
and well nigh got hold da mee
when in the throes up
(vis a vis not bulimia) on Swiss side prithee
and as a solitary mwm gives no re
guard no matter others may find fault
in the stars at my lack of sim mutt tree
gnome hatter judgements made
I accept mice elf warts and all – yippee!
Nov 4, 2017
Nov 4, 2017 at 3:49 PM UTC
After being amply lathered
from head to toe, aye
ya eye ya eye ya eye, and without fail
(gluteus maximus unloads a dump,
as predictably happens
like clockwork orange
after washing off suds),
this nada so grand poo ba
drops ship capsizing sinkers
(hefty waste ballast
causing sea level to rise), this aint
"NOT FAKE" just ask Cap'n Bligh
sitting athwart the **** deck
i.e. christened "Porcelain Goddess"
well nar did die
after being privy seeing yours truly
exit the water closet did espy
a much relieved rearing *** a nine guy,
which also earned me,
the nick name ****
not evident, via friendly customery wave
conveyed expediting,
(viz nonverbally)
business cheekily dreck eliminated
eh, the formality establishment,
sans customary "hi"
whereupon without any waste I
sought to secure these
weather beaten lovely bones of mine
preparatory to a tidal wave,
thus refuge sought
behind (a replica),
sans Bridge over the River Kwai
after moving ma bowels, no lie,
which predictable tsunami
predicated on my
humungous substantial
****** discharge well nigh
generating threatening
rip snorting currents
impossible mission e'en ex spurt ***** to ply
especially, flush with panic (a *** er,
but mandatory duty) when lookout scout,
(an E Medic) didst spy
an immense wall of water, aye yai yai!
Jun 10, 2018
Jun 10, 2018 at 12:49 AM UTC
Aisle putt ta ma head but tween these skinny legs
and kiss thine braying *** good-bye
asper ma person, thine gluteus maximus
a boot the size of a hand held palm pilot cell phone,
hence nada worth ache cry
though ah share a preference not hood die
yet if push (shin the atomic bombardier button)
combs **** hove Eli
zha would be nowhere in sight,
thence salvation might be sought from a common
(sad dulled) horse fly
to bring deliverance (due ling ban joe plucked solo) to this guy
who reckons, there will no time to converse
‘cept as mentioned earlier me high
knee will be the sole recipient I
will spout hot air
and confuse the burst of flatulence from ma bare
swaying per suede bell bottom as an echo – loud and clear
that used to be mode of en dear
mint ‘tween muss elf and spouse – wherever she may be ‘ere
a presumption, she met her demise amidst radiation with fear
and loathing uncertain who to vent her angry glare
understandable to pay price for the folly of heir
don trump – perchance he too got vaporized as faux icier
flakes flittering among the global debacle – where jeer
grim reaper will be feted as like
at a fancyfeast with choicest bit
of human remains of the doomsday,
and immune to perilous nuclear fit
loosed upon the terra firmae,
where most every metropolitan center ground zero
but with heavy-duty weapons of mass destruction,
one need not make a direct hit
cuz the deadly fallout will make the entire globe
tuff Hester and become liquefied bubbling
as one large snake pit
thus no more poetry competitions –
**** –
yet writing aye will not quit
but scratch out whatever thoughts seem worthwhile
*** ping will discover bunched inside a iron made in USA trivet
and held tightly sealed via many makeshift rivet.
May 26, 2017
May 26, 2017 at 11:52 PM UTC
gluteus maximus left and right half moon cheek
re: byte size buttock attached via usb
(uniform firm behind) to this freak
with bowel movement
incontinence + gas filled gut evoking contortionist
frown stretching to lowest peak
perched upon porcelain goddess
where elimination did jut held captive hostage
atop toilet seat for many a week
exertion to expel rock solid **** required utmost effort
to force jammed bowel movement free
inducing excruciating abdominal cramps really hurt
plus sharp jabbing spasms within high knee
innards rent asunder
obstruction as canon gun size ***** did spurt
lodged ***** matter refusing to budge from me
caused by severe constipation
whereby prayer a waste delivered only increased
sphincter muscle to scream
for ****** relief this mortal man faced
a worse fate than death, he would deem
since demise would allow alimentary misery to cease
versus remaining in this impasse for what might be years
unless perchance **** lubricant or special grease
would bust loose abominable
constriction in arrears finding me unable
to pay rent or renew lease
best prospect of remaining stationary
with words to wax
poetic found a glimmer of luck
when a kind wildebeest
delivered this message via fax
to help this male in dire per situation getting
pam purred **** unstuck with outsize mug of exlax
to help unclog ****** muck
access to get expunged to the max
but once expulsion occurs
DO DO PLEASE DUCK!
Feb 1, 2018
Feb 1, 2018 at 5:43 PM UTC