"garfield" poems
When did Wishes become as commonplace as pennies in Fountains?
When did Unicorns stop dreaming?
In a place where Unicorns can Dream
And Stars are Paths
And Fat Orange Cats are Sullen Irish Dancing Potatoes
With Biscuit Legs and Waterfall Eyes
With an Everything complex
Due to feeling the Absence of all
Whilst having felt an overwhelming Nothing
And Ant Butt's full of Honey and Air
Pirouette and bend their slim Amber eyed head backwards
To see such hopeless Unicorns Dreaming of
Trollops and Almosts who don't know what Mermaids are
Mermaids that only Sing Underwater
And watch Sullen Irish Dancing Potato Boy
With Biscuit Legs and Waterfall Eyes
And an Everything complex
Because Garfield can't figure out
If Fat Orange Cat is okay with loving Selfish Harlot Mermaid
Or not
Maybe we should all just stay Honey-Eyed Harlots
And Hero Twin Flames
Maybe the penny can be a Wish
And the Star's dust pathways
And Unicorns can see black instead of Dreams.
Mar 19, 2012
Mar 19, 2012 at 9:05 PM UTC
C'EST PRESQU'AU BOUT DU MONDE..."
( IT WAS ALMOST TO THE END OF THE WORLD )
She believed that
deep deep inside her
the flame of a femme fatale
burned brightly.
Could imagine herself stepping out of
some classic Film Noir.
Cultivated herself
to look like Marie Windsor
opposite the dangerously gorgeous
John Garfield.
But her life it seemed had her
stepping into an Edward Hopper.
The isolation and the paint
still wet.
The lonely lady
glimpsed in an hotel window
from a passing train
autumnal rain.
Still she acted always as if
she was in her own movie l
walking around her tiny flat
naked
except for red stilettos
red earrings...red lipstick.
Making up her own snappy lines
to some imaginary leading man.
"Are you decent?"
"Yes""
"But you're....you're naked!"
"You only asked if I was decent!"
The mirror laughed
catching the reflection of who
she could have been
given half the chance.
She never
stood a chance.
She threw a cigarette up in the air
caught it between her lips
her one and only
party trick.
Lit or unlit.
Searching for middle C
on a battered piano
her mind off key
abandoning it
the piano's yellow smile.
She watched the sunlight
carve a block of time
out of the dividing wall.
fading the wallpaper roses.
The bed that was always
empty...always unmade.
She danced to Weill's
Youkali Tango.
Put it on again...again.
Scratching an already scratched record.
The needle gathering fluff.
The porcelain milkmaid...dust.
She disliked the way sweat
gathered under her *******
They were always a little too large.
Hated men staring so hard.
Ahhhh the faded romance
a sunset heart attack.
Couldn't have wrote
herself a better script.
Staggering in her dance
gasping that all too unsubstantial
air as if trying to
catch time
the presentpastfuture
falling out of her hand.
The wooden acorn
of the tattered blind
tapping against
the ***** window pane.
Neon going green.
Then red.
Now blue.
And then green again.
Aug 21, 2018
Aug 21, 2018 at 3:16 PM UTC
The first time I saw him, it was through the glass window of the space that he moved into right around the corner. I thought it was a weird spot to move into but shrugged it off because it was none of my business.
The first time I met him, he was wearing the exact pattern of red and black plaid that I’ve been looking for whenever I shop. I stared at it and felt a little defeated that someone found it before I did! But I made no comment.
The first time I spoke to him, I thought nothing much of him at first. the words I used to describe him were “ordinary, typical, run-of-the-mill”. He was…simple. he spoke like he would steal those cheesy catchphrases like “she was like a shot of espresso” — which is what Andrew Garfield said about Emma Stone. And so I walked out of there as if it was just another Monday.
Several Mondays and cheesy catchphrases later, that little place around the corner that was made of brick started to feel more comfortable, and I saw him more often. Slowly, I realized that there is some charm in simplicity. Eventually, I stopped using the words “ordinary, typical, run-of-the-mill”, and I started using the word: familiar. There is so much comfort in the familiar.
At this point in time I seem to always find myself back at that familiar little brick place around the corner. at the end of each day, I go there hoping to find solace. And I always do. If I was into those cliché phrases I would describe it as a warm cup of hot chocolate after a long, rainy drive. It’s a fireplace during a snowstorm. But saying those cheesy catchphrases would be really lame of me, so…
If I were to put into words how I now feel about this person… This must be how it feels when people are looking for a new place to move into. They have this image of their dream house or fantasy apartment. maybe they picture a place with a marble countertop, a dining table made of mahogany, and a ceiling high enough to hang a glass chandelier from. But then, just as they had given up on searching for that dream place, they come across this little cottage made of brick and hardwood floors. There is a leather couch in the middle. They take a seat. Suddenly, they can picture their life there so clearly: nothing but the pitter-patter of the rain drumming on the window pane, the sound of the coffee machine running in the background, and a slice of chocolate cake waiting for them in the refrigerator. It was the familiar feeling of comfort after a tiring day. It was so far from what they had first pictured, but they are absolutely certain that they want to make a home here.
That is how he feels to me now. So far from what I had pictured, but certainly where I want to be at the end of each day. But the funniest part of all of this is: He was the one that arrived there in the first place. He was the one who moved into that quaint little building around the corner. He was the one who found me. And I am the one waiting here; hoping he finds a home within me.
Aug 6, 2022
Aug 6, 2022 at 1:13 PM UTC
Priti Patel's quote on EU migration - whatever it was...
list of common surnames: cropper, cross, crouch,
dabney, dalton, daniels, eads, easton, eccleston,
fairclough, farnham, fay, gardner, garey, garfield,
haight, hanes, hailey, ibbott, irvin, isaacson,
jack, jackson, jacobs, kay, keen, kelsey,
lacey, lacy, lamar, macey, mann, marchand,
neal, nelson, neville... sure pati japati patel -
i'll be an albino in Gujarat
if your play the sitar in a sari;
but your name sounds a bit migrant
revealing, what a weird 'back of the bus'
you seem to stand on -
you want the Mongolians resurrected?
i swear we were being ousted in line
of what Queen Sheba said to Solomon:
'olive skinned throughout the geography
and the unwelcome green men on
sponged-knickers creaming for an ******
a french dessert...'
yes pretty prior, you found home on a
continent when half of the european nations
didn't practice colonial antics -
i guess it's easier to pick on them.
but with a Patel surname you sound british
already, the great experiment worked
the anaesthetic of former colonialism
numbed via recreational Ketamine use
really numbed the skull and jaw mandibles -
i hate, i hate being conscripted into
post-colonial affairs of "why it all failed"
what a waste of the urban hubs of
Manchester or Liverpool -
where once artistic expression thrived -
i hate these post-colonial societies,
it's as if they were castrated en masse,
and they're wondering why no one has a permanent
suntan in scandinavia - maybe the raw herring diet -
cinnamon up your *** magician's trick with
space between fudge of digestion, disappearing trick
but then the cough that blinds you sweetly -
i guess post-colonial nationalism wanted to
listen to non-colonial nationalism -
a former migrant like pretty plated smell
olive skinned exploited inversion of angers
but dunked a footstep into a trip-up
with non-colonial nations -
a bit like the greek bail-out - pretty patel
is a name least likely associated with migration;
you teasing the beast out?
Apr 21, 2016
Apr 21, 2016 at 9:33 PM UTC
I a m hungry, therefore I am - Garfield
IN prayer he will never utter
it waits for the rain of milk,
a heavy rain, because of him
the cat with thirsty tongue, see with
its own eye, when mother was disappear.
In prayer he never dared to ask
it wants a fishy fish neck,
the smell of a fisherman,
no care about salt salinity, or its own sweat.
In prayers he will never say
it expected the lap, the fire on that stove
warm, and maybe also sear.
Aug 11, 2017
Aug 11, 2017 at 8:57 AM UTC
From: Daniel Rodden
This notice is from Daniel Rodden who is currently residing in Garfield jail. This is an informational email to let you know of the different options available for communication with Daniel Rodden. Several services offered by the jail:
InmateCanteen.com
The following options are available at Inmate Canteen.
Deposit Funds
Purchase Phone Cards
Buy Canteen
Video Visitation*
E-mail an Inmate*
Mar 13, 2016
Mar 13, 2016 at 11:08 AM UTC
My sister-in-law gave birth to a new baby yesterday and all of my families are very happy. The new baby is very soft in body and released a smell of milk. We all like her very much. Some of my relatives who have known the new baby send us some gifts, such as soft carpet, baby clothes, foods and drinks, even a Garfield for new baby gift ( http://www.toyswill.com/garfield-plush-toys-100cm-p-317.html )! I believe my niece must like them very much.
May 13, 2014
May 13, 2014 at 9:19 PM UTC
You know those questions that you get
Like why is the sky blue?
The ones you can not answer
But, try to pass off that you do
Well I got one the other day
My son came up and said
What with Jesus and with Christmas
I told him...go to bed!
It's only three o'clock he said
Well...then...go and ask your mom
Dad, I already asked her and
you're where she said to come
I thought, my god, she owes me now
So, I told him, grab a seat
I figured I'd go down in flames
But, I'd fight in my defeat
He said, all the Christmas specials
talk of Christmas and that stuff
But, Rudolph, Garfield, Frosty
well, I think I've watched enough
Some talk of baby Jesus
Others talk of shops and toys
Why is Jesus linked to Christmas
And I answered him.....with poise
Jesus Christ, the son of God
came to earth in all his Glory
Now, go and read you bible
The games on...read the story
He trundled off, I thought I'd won
In an hour he returned
With that face, you know the one I mean
Dad...there's something that I learned
If Jesus Christ and Christmas
are tied together, as we see
Did they celebrate on Christmas Day
Before Christ turned thirty three?
I mean, was it Christmas for a reason
Or did it start once he was dead?
I thought, that's a good question
And it came from my boy's head
His mother brought hot chocolate
She still owed me, and she knew
that whatever payback I devised
would be multiplied by two
I said, son, the idea of true Christmas gifts
Dates to 313 A.D
Back to someone called Saint Nicholas
Santa Claus to you and m
The wise men came with presents
To celebrate the ****** birth
They celebrated the fact that God
had sent his son to earth
So, what does that have to do with snoopy
Rudolph, Jack Frost, my son said
I told him, read your bible
The story's there, no go to bed
He smiled and he hugged me
He said I think I know one part
It's that Christmas isn't presents
It's something you feel in your heart
It's a spirit of goodwill to man
And to all who you may meet
I said, yep...that's it
You've summed it up, maybe I should have a seat
So, Christmas isn't retail,
It can't be bought, it has no box
It's a feeling deep within you
though...this year I need some socks
It may have his name attached
But, true Christmas is defined
By our love for one another
and the love for all mankind
Dec 9, 2014
Dec 9, 2014 at 11:54 PM UTC
<~>
~for Andrew Garfield~
*how they march!
with studied
practiced
cadence
a riddle:
how many Angels,
in America,
can stand on the
head of a pin?*
legions
*dressed in wine
stained colored uniforms,
how they advance!
with studied
practiced
damning
randomness
how many?*
lesions.
<•>
4/26/18
1:30am
Apr 26, 2018
Apr 26, 2018 at 2:10 AM UTC
after the tall glass of wine, i was rapt,
i was unaware, i was entrapped
to the spirit, i succumbed
my knees, now numbed
one hits the cold wall
...u n c o n t r o l l a b l e...
then falls "ka-blag" on the other
feeling so light as a feather...
..............f a l l i n g............
my eyes are Garfield-ish
hands, like a mallet, heavy-ish ...
G O D !
my mind, ~~~d r i f t i n g ~~~
i need some black, brewing...
gotta have strong bitter coffee, dark
to take my slurry mind back the track.....
after the tall glass of wine, i was rapt,
i am now much aware, i must avoid being trapped...
Sally
Copyright 2013
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
Dec 25, 2013
Dec 25, 2013 at 9:52 AM UTC
Look around and see, a lot of big topics:
Mostly media nonsense and a global no-fix.
Front Line.
Headlines.
"Natural" disasters
Buddhists
Scientists
Pastors
Government Theories.
Political conspiracy, you'll see.
We all claim to want "CHANGE"
For what?
10 Lanes, bigger planes, sky trains?
Is this the change you all are waiting for?
Hoping for?
Killing for?
Dying for.
This change has knocked us down to the floor.
It's sad but it's true
my buddy in Garfield said "Come Through,
meet me at the corner store
Angel, I need to tell you more."
He says, "The struggle is real,
the pain I feel
IT consumes us daily.
Lets all get away from this, maybe."
Even the girls in County
are all standing strong.
Saying, "What we did was wrong."
"I don't do things, I've done things."
Says one girl quietly.
21 years old,
lived her whole life in sobriety.
Tears in her eyes, twinkling
"I want change, we all do.
We see the change in you.
We hope you see it too."
Aug 1, 2013
Aug 1, 2013 at 11:50 AM UTC
PANEL 1:
Jon and Garfield sit at the same living room table in complete silence. Jon struggles to keep the weak smile plastered to his face.
PANEL 2:
Jon begins sobbing uncontrollably. Garfield stares. He says nothing.
PANEL 3:
Jon continues sobbing. Garfield eats a lasagna.
Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 7:12 PM UTC
What is fantasy?
False fantasy confession
Understanding by analogy
The fantasy of me
Counter brainwaves
With thought guns
Deceive me
I am a self agenda
Schools are found
In the background
School mask
Real me
Real mask
School me
Fat
Sad
and
Bad
Submissive
Fantasy
Villain
Happy he should be
Look down
Straight Shot
Straight up
It's up
Fantasy is theater
Acting like a character
How many writers in a snare.
One by one making a dare
School of thought thought up
Subscribers indentured to strange
What a hollow soto
A thin man's polo
Stripped with dread
Woe on theater
Theater is the past
Back in history
****** get hit by disarray
This is a history made this way
Only character hits from these paypools
Not so obvious doc!
Try to be less conscious!
Tu lewai to LA FENESTRA
I'm playing the tropes
That I loathe and despire
Even I hide my own words
Get a thought recorder
Shipping and packaging is free for the day.
250 of the most popular
Words arranged in draft sentances
I am a fantasy! U play in.
Don't worry
I am an expert attorney
Trained in exquisite self fantasy
Proffessor of Future Fantasies
Or maybe Garfield the nat
"Sneekky rouououttttt. I know the truuttthh.
It's a parks and rec
Adventure sketch
I am declining
I've lost my health
This issssnnn'tttt FAIR
Director "CUT!"
IT COMES FROM THE HUMAN MIND
HAAUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How can you
Teach
Them
That
CAT
IN
THE
HAT
???
??!
?!?
!??
!!?
!!!
@
#
$
Fantasy
Divorced
From mys
elf
Argumentative
Prentinsuous
And
parsimonious
Who buys it?
Apr 9, 2019
Apr 9, 2019 at 5:31 PM UTC
Welcome to gorilla garden.
King Lions roam like lone wolves,
Some wolves are crowned like the head of their pride.
Few bears are curios, like your common cat.
Some giant killer kats are kind,
Some giant kats aren't killers.
A bear can sound like a dog barking, a cat purring, or you might barely hear a crow craw before you're mauled for being far to close to the cubs.
There's ants the size of pizza pockets.
And garfield hates lasanga because he got his name from never leaving the
feild he was born in; such a stubborn
Gar; born in a pond in the middle of a field, refusing to be carried to freshwaters in America.
Welcome to Gorilla Garden.
In here, family is king.
Not pride, not packs, not flocks no colonies.
Snakes are welcome, as long as they don't cause twinge.
Jul 9, 2017
Jul 9, 2017 at 12:02 PM UTC
Tony the Tiger can have his box.
Full of sugar.
I have my own sugar.
Take that, Tony.
Or should I say, Phony the Tiger
Garfield go in a corner and eat your lasagna.
I have a cane.
No I'm not crippled.
There is nothing wrong with my leg.
How dare you say that.
I have a candy cane!
Not to eat with.
No, no.
My plan is much grander than that.
I will use it as a weapon.
See how its so sharp and pointy.
Those who think it is not so sharp and pointy.
Better keep their opinions to themselves.
In other words, keep your mouth shut.
Bow in the presence of the cane.
The great cane.
Held by the great soldier.
Bow in the presence of a being greater than yourself.
Me, **** in Boots.
It goes with my outfit.
Dressed to **** never became more realer.
Than in my case.
Its Christmas Time.
Time for sleighing.
Or slaying, as I would put it.
My cane is worse than my claws.
Santa better go to Pennsylvania to get all the coal
Because he’s going to need it when I’m done.
Nov 3, 2017
Nov 3, 2017 at 5:23 PM UTC
age
is
arbitrary!
is how i justify whiskey shots on the front porch with adults
singing drunken renditions of Wish You Were Here
it's tender and when our disharmonic voices pierce the quiet street
we all cry a little.
Kimmy puts her arm around me and tells me i am
going
to
do
great
things
maybe it's the alcohol burning up my throat
or something in the light
the
world
is
mine
to
change
Jul 16, 2011
Jul 16, 2011 at 10:50 AM UTC
Presidents
Washington, Adams and Jefferson,
had *** with slaves just for fun.
Madison, Monroe and Adams,
I'm sure had secret madams.
Jackson, Van Buren and Harrison,
not sure how they ever won.
Tyler, Polk and Taylor,
before elected lived in a trailer.
Fillmore, Pierce and Buchanan,
should have been shot from a cannon.
Lincoln, Johnson and Grant,
each once had a cotton plant.
Hayes, Garfield and Arthur,
sinking fast with no life preserver.
Cleveland, Harrison and again Cleveland,
both of them killed at least one Indian.
McKinley, Roosevelt and Taft,
all too fat to float on a raft.
Wilson, Harding and Coolidge,
should have jumped from a bridge.
Hoover, Roosevelt and Truman,
wondering if they were even human.
Eisenhower, Kennedy and Johnson,
neither of them can still run.
Nixon, Ford and Carter,
not sure which one was smarter.
Reagan, Bush and Clinton,
shot, stupid and a Monica.
Bush and now Obama,
one was dumb,
and the other looks like a black llama.
Oct 23, 2013
Oct 23, 2013 at 1:32 AM UTC
As I wonder, I conjure a monster with this wand and my honor.
I ponder how you can squander my genre, I'm lava.
Anacondas to lamas, venomous, I'm black mambas.
Garfield comma lasagna, that's pasta.
Comets comment on the trauma after I bombed ya.
***** iguana after the ***** in the Bahamas.
In the cabana like Osama, hide and seek, trying to avoid the drama.
but my Pride hunts and peaks when I speak,
A void, this is the 3Y3 of the BLitZ3D SAGA.
Blunts of kief while I reap, hydroponic droid.
Quick like Raffekie but I lead like Mufassa.
I'm Scar to hyenas, and yes I am Luke's Father.
Hiatus, I'm too high, I am a Sky Walker.
Hydra made, I claim Dark Mage
Use 3's when I write, and spell magic with a K.
Your gana need to come harder.
This is Tree times 3 vs Special K.
Said **** it and versed myself 3 ways that one day.
It was MagiKal, see the intentional K?
Savage truth, My pills red.
Down the rabbit hole, I'm here to stay.
Reach out an ravage your ankle.
Pull you in, M.I.B. I'm Agent-K.
Mage In Black, Dark Arts,
Matrix word play, not an absurd grey.
Prometheus, I am Predator,
A.I., I-Robot, I Am Legend,
Will Smith, Independence Day.
Annunaki I am a descendant.
The First Demi they selected,
Earths representative that slays.
An entity,
When they spoke of god, what they meant was me.
The incarnation of uncertainty.
Hell bent on carnage, feeds on false beliefs.
"The Scripture", "Birthed from the streets."
A reputation you cant tarnish.
I don't expect relief.
Mercy is for the week.
I'll die standing before I ever drop to a knee.
The first to leap.
I AM BLitZ3D.
THIS IS TH3 3Y3'S OF TH3 L3GACY THAT IS M3.
"E.T"
"A Lion, A Demon, A Creature Of Myth, An Alien Being"
Plasma is on the page but ET's not bleeding.
Thats just my pen leaking, Kracken ink can be misleading.
Submerged marines, Titanic icebergs, Atlantis reemerge on my command , sorcerer supreme, Gigantic knights Converge,
Looped in a green screen dream sequence scene theme,
"The Sheep Will Always Scream"
Eye of the storm, I am Dopamine
I am dope, I mean. Am I not dope man?
I am the dope man to the feigns
(To Be Continued...)
Feb 7, 2016
Feb 7, 2016 at 11:19 PM UTC
There on a
Wing of a Boeing
Was Garfield
A cat
Walking on the wing
At 30,000ft in the air.
Am I hallucinating
Or dreaming
Or is the reality??!!
Mar 19, 2019
Mar 19, 2019 at 7:03 PM UTC
Woke up early,
Put on the work outfit
brushed my whites pearly,
Left my backpack at the stop,
Booked it back,
Found my pack,
Reached in my pocket to grab my pen,
Found it had exploded,
What then!?
Boss doesn't respond,
And I just need to be at a pond,
Not thinking about where I am going,
Not thinking about what I will sow,
A easy day would be nice,
To much to think, but does entice,
Just need to be at that lake,
Need to be at that parking garage,
But I am in traffic watching the clock,
What else can this day bring?
A ring on my phone and I'm not answerin,
Boss leaves a voicemail blarin,
Ignored it till I got there,
Walked in with a blank stare,
Wonderin' when life will be fair,
Changin' somethin,
Thinking aboot nothin',
Getting that carpal tunnel,
Then go to sleep,
Trying to shut my mind off to answers I know I can't seek,
Guess it's just another day in the week,
So I try to focus on the music and the beat,
****
I don't know what else to say,
Cept that it's only ******* Monday.
Jun 29, 2014
Jun 29, 2014 at 11:17 PM UTC
food...i don't need you
you make me feel ashamed and gain weight
you make me fat like Garfield the cat
you give me the ick
makes me sick
when i look at myself i wanna **** myself
i wanna like my body
instead i have to hide my body
food...i really don't need you
Jun 22, 2025
Jun 22, 2025 at 1:13 PM UTC
ok **** it
i pooped on your door, **** it
you shot my dog, **** it
your manners are perfect **** it
we all have cancer **** it
but you know what?
garfield! yay
Jun 3, 2014
Jun 3, 2014 at 2:18 AM UTC
Work and pay taxes get lucky and might make millionaire caches if you step on enough of the masses
A public school fairytale in other words a classic
A degree only guarantees an inquiry
Into the job market not the key to a home as history taught it
We need an audit on who making the real profit, cause the the deposit is getting microscopic
While Garfield’s constantly getting dividends, I’m barely making ends, so when does the dream begin?
Got clips telling me to keep “grindin”
The more you hustle, the more you’ll be buyin
Skip the ad, back to the methodology on how to win at poverty when your effort considered second round, should have gone lottery
Itemize your body for somebody’s hobby, you can’t frown in a five-star lobby
Orchestrate the take from another families plate but when I bankroll too great
the feds wanna play Drake like the family matters to them outside election dates
Turn my life into a stalker dream, and access me via a stream cause I need more green
Even with the increase, the pain doesn’t cease now I’m looking for a new release
Fill the void in my account with mental health taking the mound, at full count
I can’t miss or end up on a “Where are they now?” playlist
Jun 9, 2024
Jun 9, 2024 at 6:02 PM UTC
**"Beer. Trucks. ****
"If you have money
I'll give you what you need."
"My spirit animal is Garfield."
"I'm a juggernaut
In love's battlefield."**
How can you narrow your life down
To 150 characters or less?
I do that every time I write
About how my life is a mess
Structure is what I lack in life
So I maintain it in my art
Does that mean I've grown stale?
Souring people's mouths like tarts?
I haven't had a full meal in weeks
No one else shares my space in the sheets
My love is stretched but still poignant
Can I just hire a ******* clairvoyant?
Have I described enough?
Or am I still chock full of secrets?
Something I'll always regret
Is never knowing that stuff
Dumbing down my English vocabulary
My teachers would be so proud of me
Mar 17, 2017
Mar 17, 2017 at 1:22 AM UTC