I care, but not much.
I walk, without a crutch.
I ****, just for the thrill.
The wrong pill will make you ill.
Tammy died for Tommy's sins.
It ain't a catfish without the catfish fins.

Dan ran the main forklift at the duck meat cannery dropping ducks into the skinning machine. 1 day, as he was peeing out back near a ditch, Cindy appeared in a wedding gown with a big bra on. "Cindy!" Dan exclaimed startled. "Yes Dan, I've come to take you to Heaven with me because I'm an angel now who lives with God." Dan couldn't believe his ears. Could this really be Cindy? The same Cindy who was eaten by cannibal Pygmies three months ago? "But Cindy," Dan began while adjusting his **** strap, "you're dead. You were cannibalized by Pygmies." Cindy smiled sorrowfully; her teeth whiter than ever. "Danny, it's time to go; time to return to Jesus and God to live as dead people with dead people high up in the sky where airplanes can't fly." Later Dan woke up in *****. It had all been a dream and he wasn't sure whose ***** it was.

THE HORROR OF NORAH - Norah was an ex-lesbian and descendant of Noah from the Bible. She proved this by building a boat in her bath tub. For 40 days her shower ran all day till a bird appeared as a sign that dry land was nearby. She carefully waded ashore, confident that God would provide for her even though she didn't have a college degree or anything.

IN 1827 laundresses would toss wet garments into the street for trucks to run over. It was the fastest way to launder tuxedos and bikinis (which were just 2 rags sewn together).

OH LORD! Weather!!! Run for your life because the naked nudist had no clothes to clothe nine fingers and seven toes.

COLDER THAN A MOON THAT NO MAN LANDS ON - I hate "replacement neighbors" but not as much as the neighbors they replaced. 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐎𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐚 𝐏𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐧 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐭𝐚 𝐢𝐧 𝑮𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒄𝒆. 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐬𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝-𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐨. A day after the cows ran away, we ate their hay. After the shop burned to the ground, the owner could not be found. He's in hell now sharpening pencils, putting ointment on his *** and cutting out stencils.