Carlita had the hots for Boris but she couldn't tell anyone because her lips were too big to form words after the helicopter crash. "Dear Mama," she wrote on a roll of new toilet paper, "I love Boris and there's nothing you can do about it!" Later, after her lips returned to normal, she and Boris took a helicopter to eastern Poland where the people were so stupid that neither of them could believe it. "All those ****** jokes must've come from here," Boris lamented as gerbils fought for their young lives to escape from his ******.

Onto my stump I rub expensive aloe vera stump cream
before and after swimming in an icy mountain stream
'cause I don't want to be on the stumpy jungle-rot team.

𝗗𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗝𝗮𝗶𝗹-𝗕𝗮𝗶𝘁; 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗝𝗼𝘆𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲; 𝗖𝗼𝗼𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗦𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗹-𝗠𝗲𝗮𝘁; 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗗𝗲𝗽𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝗳 𝗢𝗽𝗿𝗮𝗵; 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗣𝗼𝗿𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗙𝗹𝘂 𝗦𝗲𝗿𝘂𝗺𝘀; 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹-𝗔𝗹𝗹𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗥𝗼𝘀𝗶𝗲 𝗢'𝗗𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗹𝗹; 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘂𝘁𝗲𝘀; 𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸𝘆 𝗪𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗛𝘆𝗴𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗲; 𝗗𝗶𝗮𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗙𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀; 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗔𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝘀𝘁𝘀; 𝗡.𝗔.𝗦.𝗔.'𝘀 𝗗𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵; 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗴 𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗧𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗼𝗼𝘀; 𝗘𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆-𝗦𝘂𝗰𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗺; 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗙𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗲; 𝗗𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘆 𝗚𝗿𝗶𝘇𝘇𝗹𝘆 𝗕𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀; 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗠𝗶𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗲𝗹 𝗝𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀𝗼𝗻: 𝗔𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗲𝗳𝘁 𝗛𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗚𝗼𝗱; 𝗠𝗼𝗻𝗼𝗴𝗮𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗪𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻 𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻; 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗵𝘆 𝗖𝗹𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗰𝘀; 𝗦𝘂𝗿𝘃𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗛𝗼𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗰𝗲; 𝗗𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗱 𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗲'𝘀 𝗖𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲𝘁-𝗦𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴-𝗦𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗧𝗶𝗽𝘀; 𝗦𝘂𝗿𝘃𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻; 𝗦𝗻𝗮𝘇𝘇𝘆 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝘇𝘇𝘆 𝗕𝗼𝗻𝗼'𝘀 𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗰 𝗨𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗙𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗣𝗼𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀; 𝗦𝘂𝗿𝘃𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝗯𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻; 𝗖𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗨𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗿𝘆 𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗽𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝟯𝟯 𝗘𝗮𝘀𝘆 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽𝘀; 𝗦𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗕𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗴𝗲; 𝗣𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗲; 𝗟𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻 𝗮 𝗣𝗶𝗴 𝗙𝗮𝗿𝗺; 𝗥𝗲𝗱𝗻𝗲𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗠𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗹; 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗵 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗜𝗺𝗯𝗶𝗯𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝗼𝗱𝗶𝘂𝗺 𝗙𝗹𝘂𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗮𝘀 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗰 𝗪𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗹𝘆; 𝗣𝗿𝘂𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗠𝗼𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗔𝗺𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗖𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗕𝗮𝗻𝗸𝗲𝗿𝘀; 𝗕𝗲𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗪𝗵𝗼 𝗠𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗧𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗽𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰; 𝗡𝗲𝗴𝗿𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗛𝗼𝘁 𝗥𝗼𝗱𝘀

After lunch a normal couple of people walked across an old Ohio River bridge for fun, little did they know that it was Ex-Lesbian Day. "Look Helga," Rex said, pointing at two ex-lesbians going at it big time in river mud. "That's terrible, especially 'cause everyone can see them." After that they continued on their way without talking till Rex saw another couple of ex-lesbians fornicating on a table at Dairy Queen. "I'm starting to believe that Ex-Lesbian Day is a joke," Helga blurted. Rex nodded in agreement.