"futher" poems
The beach smells of tranquillity and salty sea air
The rhythm of the waves gently caresses my skin
The horizon seems elusive, a dream always chased
Yet night foreshadows traumas waiting to be let in
Oh where do I begin?
*I love you
I don't wanna be scared of you
I'm waiting in the shoreline
Please don't run away this time*
I'm scared of silent reflections, solemn and reclusive
I float futher from myself with each passing day
I have a note addressed to myself taped to a mirror
I'm scared of reading it aloud and being lead astray
And I have to accept that it's okay
*"I love you
I don't wanna be scared of you
I'm waiting in the shoreline
Please don't run away this time"*
Seashells coated in sand tickle the edge of my ear
The fog carried on the wind sends chills deep inside
The sun will always be there to break the duskiness
Daunting across the sky and waking up the tide
And the breeze slowly sighed
Please don't run away,
don't run away from me
Please don't run away,
don't run away from help
Please don't run away,
don't run away from the sea
Please don't run away,
don't run away from yourself
Angel wings take me further than I've ever gone before
Sep 23, 2018
Sep 23, 2018 at 11:29 AM UTC
I tripped and fell into temptation
The hole was exceptionally deep
The futher that I fell
the deeper I would sink
I built stairs
that were made up of all colors of lies
But the more that I made
the top was never nye
But the hole was much deeper
than all the stairways made to Heaven
I needed a friend to save me
one who converts sin into salvation
from bread that must be unleavened
Jan 10, 2017
Jan 10, 2017 at 2:51 AM UTC
It’s hell.
You’re living in hell.
Every day your hallucinations and delusions carry you futher and futher away from reality till one day you’re totally engulfed by them.
You watch yourself fall deeper and deeper and then you crash.
And it’s like you’ve never existed, nothing has ever existed.
You’ve become this empty vessel controlled by your demons.
Jul 15, 2018
Jul 15, 2018 at 10:21 AM UTC
Page unwritten hand never to be
played.
Outcasts sitting at center stage.
When you never showed love.
It's no need to question why no one ever stayed.
And you never wondred and new better
to ask.
Cause people grew tired of the game.
And you of the mask.
Deep emotin with which like
overgrown children we play.
Gone in a second.
Was it love or just another day.
Torn sails endless flow.
Blocks and miles.citys and backroads.
Like any flock we scatter.
Only to lose track the futher we go.
Dellusion speaks well amoungnst friends.
You see it's the last farewell.
But with truth in are thoughts
everyone pretends.
Are you okay everyone does ask.
You give a expected reply.
And slip into oblivian slowley
fading behind your mask.
Feb 10, 2010
Feb 10, 2010 at 5:38 PM UTC
Slowly taking notes
To develop my futher plan
Into my life
So I can come out of the floodgates
And expect to reinvent the basics
Nov 26, 2014
Nov 26, 2014 at 11:48 PM UTC
Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever going to be fine.
I look at happy people and go like is that real I just don't believe in it.
Dissapointments
Heartbreaks
Betrayal
Lies
Is all I ever got from people.
How do I move on ?
How do I go futher ?
I don't think I will.
I feel a thousand miles from happiness.
I sometimes wanna just open my heart love someone but I can't.
I once gave someone that information of how I felt about them I was left on the cold hard ground.
I'm just lost feeling like its never going to get better.
Tears day after day.
Fake smiles day after day.
Anger is all I carry day after day
There is just this big hole in my soul that seems to get bigger everyday.
And no mater how much I cry.
No mater how much I listen to sad music.
No mater how much I cut myself.
No mater how much I sleep.
It doesn't seem to get filled.
I laugh sometimes but during the laugh I start to cry because I know I'm laughing at my own life its one big joke.
Its a dance that walks a song that speaks.
How does one live a life she hates.
I look at my self in the miRror and say I'm goin be fine but I can see through my eyes I dnt evn mean it.
I just feel a thousand miles from happiness
Jan 18, 2015
Jan 18, 2015 at 4:21 PM UTC
I ran down the street,
in a mad dash.
He could not catch me,
I was running to fast.
He trailed behind at a steady pace.
It was raining heavily,
and water poured down my face.
The rain could not have stopped me even though I could hardly see.
I ran down the street into the woods.
I passed through bushes and trees,
I stepped on sticks and fallen autumn leaves.
The footsteps behind me had fallen silent.
My legs screamed with agony with every step I took.
My chest was so tight I could hardly breathe.
I finally stopped...
I turned around to see, him..
A dark figure walking towards me.
I tried to run,
But I was frozen with fear.
The man that will ****** me,
followed me here.
"Dad please don't do this!" I screamed.
I fled futher into the woods.
I squat down, and tried to hide in a bush.
He bellowed "Come on dear you cannot hide!"
I covered my mouth,
and I started to cry.
I felt hands on my shoulders,
he grabbed me from behind.
He put his face close to mine.
I could see the evil,
the evil in his eyes.
I smelt the ***** in his breath,
as he began to speak.
"You shamed me!"
"I'm sorry dad!" I shrieked.
"No it's to late you were just a mistake."so calmly he said.
As he pulled out a knife and held it in his hand.
I Began to beg for my life.
"Daddy please don't do this! I'm sorry okay?"
"No..." he said
"Now you must pay."
With one hand he squeezed my throat."
My eyes became wide,
as I started to choke.
His smile was crooked in a twisted grin
He began to speak and I cringed.
"You must die don't you see?"
"No dad I don't I don't!" I croaked.
"Please...dad...don't do this to me!"
"You lied to me dear.." he receited a rhyme.
"You lied to me shamed me and now you must die. Do not cry, see I am your father. I used to tuck you in at night. Into your warm little bed, tell you I love you and kiss your forehead. I didn't want to beat my little girl. Then your mother and brother left us. We were then all alone, it was just you and me at home. I saw your arms so bloodied and bruised. I never wanted to hurt you. Your mom and brother left us because I did it to them too. You lied to me and went to seek help. Now I send you to the angel of death. He will come to you and you will feel his ice-cold breath. Have no fears honey, he will take you far away from here. Well I'm done with this prolonged good-bye. I am sorry dear you just had to die."
He flung his knife at me,
and slit my throat.
I fell to the ground.
So silent I never made a sound.
He leaned over me,
no remorse in his face.
Spit on me and repeated,
"Just another mistake."
Apr 2, 2012
Apr 2, 2012 at 5:25 PM UTC
the day you sprouted into my life,
I was intrigued by you immediately,
like a newly grew seed of ivy,
it invaded my lawn without fail.
but just like many lawns that needs mowing,
I tried to shake off your existence.
planting roses and daffodils, but to no avail,
ending up fertiziling the feelings i have for you.
your untamed and cheerful nature,
enthralls me even more towards you;
And as your vines crazily crawls unpredictedly,
I steadily stood my ground to stop it.
but still, I once again failed.
Like a kid who's slowly being binded,
binded by the love i feel,
a love like vines that I know would never bloom.
but as time goes by, and day by day has come,
I'm learning to live by the vines,
the binds started to become ropes,
ropes to move up to sunshine.
As the vines nurtures even futher,
and starts to burgeon lilac colored flowers,
I'm starting to understand the untamed and cheerful nature,
is for it to bear blooms that are delicate and precious.
Mar 4, 2019
Mar 4, 2019 at 5:17 PM UTC
I remember under the willow tree that one night everything was alright
All stress and emotions was gone from my chest we were lost in the moonlight
That one moment I took to when I looked at you, that’s what inspired me to write
And your deep brown eyes looked whiter than snow and brighter than headlights
Call me hopeless fearing emotion when I was younger but now I’ve found another
Person that understands me, calls me names other than my mother
And when that cold air hit your face I was there to warm it a fire
Not quick to think but when I find someone great I don’t want to push them futher
Now I wonder of someone I don’t know as well as I should
Love sounds great but in this era it burns faster than wood
But the way the light hit your face next to that willow could
Remind me of pure contentment, only know else place in childhood
So in the spur of the moment I placed your lips on mine
I couldn’t see but I imagined everything around clearly and the stars aligned
My mouth felt compassion and my heart dropped to the baseline
I knew under the willow was where I wanted to spend a lifetime
Aug 13, 2018
Aug 13, 2018 at 1:01 PM UTC
I used to think about you a lot
Because you were once my apple pie
The thing that kept me going for days.
I cared and loved you
Even if you didn't feel the same way.
Lately, I'm thinking
Which part of it was lost
Because when you came back
Everything left in awe.
I thought all I ever wanted
Was to get you by my side
And now, that you're here
I just want you to get lost.
What happened before left a wound
I guess time really heals everything.
After three long years of silence
All the words was said, and the feelings had left.
It was but a great story
And 'you and I' was just a theory
Somethig haunted me for so long
I could not even remember when.
I wish I could utter good bye
But was there even a 'hello' to start with?
All that's between us are trashed
It needs no futher elaboration.
Even now, I want to end this
Because you don't even deserve a space.
Maybe in our next life
There'll be a better tale told for us.
Apr 17, 2016
Apr 17, 2016 at 9:34 AM UTC
I am a crevice.
Everyone steps Close—
never in,
always on.
How can you?
It's Too Small.
Nothing in it will fit
But It.
I am a cliff.
People are Afraid,
of course.
To plunge to their demise
by Accident.
But would they skirt the edge
court the precipice of darkness
if they didn't want to know
Where it Ends?
When it Ends?
How it Ends?
If it Ends?
Of course, of course,
they never find out.
They never Move.
Nothing happens.
It tends to happen.
Then I become an abyss.
People are attracted
to the Mystery,
but they know it's Dangerous.
So they never fall in.
People can be wise,
holes can be empty,
and vice versa,
and what other adjectives
have you.
It's all the same.
Those who Almost fall
only futher Rip
the fissures apart.
Nothing is filled.
Nothing is healed.
Jul 11, 2014
Jul 11, 2014 at 1:35 PM UTC
Im sorry that I cant comprehend your sorrow
and how mine seems like nothing to you
and its ok because I cant expect you to think of me
in a time like this,
but Ive shown you that I care,
Ive tired so hard to show you that Im there,
you went from calling me frequently
to now hardly taking time to speak to me,
I dont know what to think
if your futher because of your depression
and maybe this is the reason for your regression;
I tired to decipher thinking "He's just busy"
and "He's just down",
my mind is getting dizzy;
I tell you I miss you,
That I just wanna see and kiss you,
and you say your busy and have no time
although Ive given you so much of mine,
and then I see you make time for your friends
so I guess it just depends
on who you make important.
You confuse me with the attention on some days
and the rejection most days
I dont thinks it fair
and I cant tell you because Im so selfless
that I dont wanna seem selfish,
but its hurting me
because every man has made me feel last on there list
and I cant even tell you this;
So all I can do is keep a piece of my heart protected
keep it from getting affected,
because now Im really feeling Im just irrelevant to you
and although that might me true
Ill still be here for you
when you feel blue
but I have to take care of myself
because one has to value oneself;
Im beautiful and smart
with a tremendous heart
and maybe things will change
and you'll see the woman thats here
is real
but yet again maybe you wont
and its ok Im use to it
maybe Im not meant to be loved
to be hugged
to be shown for once Im held high above
so Ill just kept loving myself
because one thing Ive learned is that no one with love me
like I love me
and Ill have to learn to never put someone above me....
Nov 1, 2016
Nov 1, 2016 at 9:47 PM UTC
Tired, exhausted
But we don't need sleep.
Silence keeps us awake
Minutes turn to hours
the hours to days
Time seems useless
Our goals becoming futher
We work harder
Tear ourselves apart
To finish what we started
Nothing ever seems to go right
We don't give up
Even in our worn out staggering
We continue in our labor
Only to please ourselves
Oct 19, 2011
Oct 19, 2011 at 8:57 PM UTC
Tell me the storys
they have told you
The songs they sung for you
all that touched you
all those who went right by you
tell me of the ones you rained on for
was it to make them sad?
or make them sing in the rain?
or for the passionate lovers to kiss?
tell me all those clouds you met
were they as nice as you
did they let you dance with them
did some of them let you show what you can be?
tell me Mr.cloud
is the sky the limit?
or futher?
Tell Me Mr. cloud
did you find love?
with a girl
in a big blue dress?
and blue eyes?
as you paddled on the river...
Oh all the happiness you can bring
Dec 26, 2013
Dec 26, 2013 at 10:59 PM UTC
I want the rope to rip
Once I've actually tried to leap off the wooden chair, that is
And I hate myself for being so willing
To oblige to Jones' orders
It wont hurt, right?
Maybe only for the first few seconds
I can take several more seconds of pain
I bet it hurts less than Jones' punches
Mum..
Maybe even Sarah would miss me
She replied to my confession on her desk with a heart
And said she liked the daisies
But it's not like she'll see me on Monday
Because either way, I'd be dead
Jones said it himself yesterday
Just like the movies, he wanted "off with my head"
For some reason I'm still tempted
To free my neck from this rope
Even though I was always born
An extra to this world
Then how I wish
The legs of this chair would break
And once I was safe from the rope
I hope the floor-boards separate
Once I'm sunk in though
I don't want the floor to close-up
I just want a hiding spot
Where I could hide for months
Away from baby Johnny
That's ****** up my share of motherly love
From the minute his eyelids parted
In the background, I have been shoved
Futher away from the other Charlie in the mirror
Who seems to have a habit
Of going hands on hips when I see him
And telling me to run-off
Away from Jones
Far, far away please
I'll stay here for ever if I have to
Just make sure he doesn't find me
I shouldn't have done it
No, not **** myself
Why, oh, why did I
Answer back to the devil himself?
I still can't wrap my head around
Why I decided to speak up
It's not like Jones will shiver and whimper
Just the way I do when he destructs
Deep breaths Charlie
Four-eyed Max leaped off his chair last week
If that old nerd could do it
Then
Stop being a sook and do it already
~Eman A.Q
Jul 22, 2015
Jul 22, 2015 at 2:59 PM UTC
The words I speak aren't the words I mean
Only making whats on the inside sound like a dream
The actions I pursue are nothing else but a blessing and a curse
I make it seem like its all fun and games until it ends up getting worse
I struggle to show people the real me
So I separate myself and I like an apostrophe
I take leaps without the cord attached but I plunge futher and further to my death
With the way I act and the life I lead I feel like I might breathe my last breath
Don't mind the ******* you see on a day to day basis who keeps who he is lurking in the shadows
But try to look beyond that wall to see the determined young man who wants nothing more but to help those who continue to suffer and carry all those logos
Why is it that no one can look past the act and for once take me seriously when I ask for the chance
Because some day I'll just wanna sing like David sang and dance like David danced
I hide who I am because no one can comprehend whether I'm being delusional or the person they see in the end
I act stupid, but only to see a smile on the face of someone who couldn't take it anymore, for someone who couldn't turn to any other friend
I don't regret my actions but I either pity and own them or believe that this is something I want to continue
But now I realize I must make some changes to my schedule and create a new agenda so I can leave my venue
Don't get me wrong I still wanna have fun with all the fun and games but right now I'm just tired of feeling ashamed
Because each time it drives me further and further to becoming a young man who's lost the meaning of his name
If it were so easy I would show the person living on the inside and the person I aspire to be
I pray to God that I don't lose who I am because that's the one thing I hold dear and closest to me
I'd rather let out the person hiding on the inside trying to make who he really is known, but thats only if I could
Because I can't stay quiet, I want people to know that I'm tired of being Misunderstood
Nov 25, 2016
Nov 25, 2016 at 2:55 AM UTC
Confused and abused by this body of flesh. Trying to live for god but its not an easy test. Temporary pleasure of sin not what i need but has me amused. So there no one to blame when i am refused. Temptation of the world temptation of a girl is: a everyday thing and why my visions blurred. See i wanna be perfect in all things that i do but since i became a Christian i see how far from perfect iam when i compare myself to you. How did you do it how did you survie this life. Why cant i be like you why must i suffer this life. I am hard on myself but you say im worthy. Well let me see myself the way you see me come make this vision un blurry. I want to do what you want me to but my desires are blocking your way. Its easy to talk the talk but hella harder to walk the walk. I need you to talk for me and walk for me to. Kuz if i try to do it on my own it seems the futher i walk from you. Why i am here to me it seems unclear you say you have a plan for my life and theres no need to fear. So what is your plan for my life am i just supposed to exist. Am i going to struggle with these sins everyday if so give me the strength to resist. Show me your plan for my life lord god and this i insist. I don't want to miss my calling i dnt jus want to exist and i really dont want to be one of the ones who has been exempted from your list!i
Feb 12, 2014
Feb 12, 2014 at 1:58 PM UTC
Being in jdi it was like I took the j and let it defuse in these eyes so I saw futher than sight where I saw the mudere in desgise I feel the blue in these skys
I ddnt have a clue who were these guyz but they became part of my worst nights
They use karma as they amour so nobody would understand what love , they all expose dust to the sun like its summer
I remain green .. Under my darkes roots I remain green
Jan 1, 2015
Jan 1, 2015 at 8:44 AM UTC
Another life broken
Adiction taking over
Hearts around you breaking
Nothing effects you
But another hit
In a haze that makes you forget
Your innocents is gone
What have you done
Where did you go
I lost you in the smoke
I cant go any futher
Im losing myself
Trying to reach you
Im getting ****** in
Trying to pull you out
Jun 26, 2016
Jun 26, 2016 at 1:41 PM UTC
6 million jews
Possible
8 billion people
Possible
Both Camps
World War
Sun Moon Stars
Both All
Proven
1 step futher
Keyboard
Same
Same Place
Now
Whos not included
ABC
123
Infinite
ABC
123
Un-Opened
So Open
So Step an Type
Investigate
Consider
Concentrate
Invision
Once Opened
All
Silence
Whos bigger
You stuck
Or
You honest
We are not alone
We are caged
Processed Daily
Tested
Worked
No exit
Where is the exit?
Go outside
Close the door
Spread Love
Share
Transform
No Question
Say
We are not alone
Praise Creation
Praise Placement
Praise Chance
Praise People
Give
Recieve
Free
Unite
Its Time
6 million Jews
8 Billion Humans
Whats next Lets ask..
May 31, 2024
May 31, 2024 at 4:07 PM UTC
########
just a little kid
on an inner tube
in a great big river
called life - currents
taking me futher and
further toward the sea
we all go to - one different
thing about me though is that
i truly trust the maker of the waves.
i
am
small
He is enormous
i can't ~ He can ~ i think i'll let Him
soulsurvivor
Oct 6, 2014
Oct 6, 2014 at 8:03 PM UTC
there are lots of other things going on
like
other arses sat on A bench
eating apple pie
or cherry pie with whipped cream
ground black coffee
handed with a well informed framed glove
and
the pickling of green tomatoes
smashed into the face of want to go futher
like a lot of it
the lot of it
Sitting on a ****** bench
paying for it oooowwwww
toooooooooo
malled into my brain the sadness
Nov 2, 2017
Nov 2, 2017 at 4:29 PM UTC
With uncareful watch of the hours,
The night spreads like threads unlinked,
Drawing a comparison about what’s more frightening,
The stillness or the sudden shift.
Laying in a still motion picture,
A million frames of the same fear,
A tailored Bermuda triangle where
Life stops but the arms of every clock disappear.
And you’re left stranded,
With the anticipation of every wrong scenario,
So for today you’ll munch on anxiety for dinner,
‘Cause the face of every tomorrow scares you.
Oh how little you can do in those early AMs,
When both of your hands are cuffed to your insecurities,
And the night is there like a watch guard,
Standing between your panic prison and clarity.
And when desperation comes to join you,
It tells you tales of a monster that preys on time
“Never sleep.” It warns. “It’ll take you to those intimidating mornings,
It will leave you without a dime.”
When all of those night friendly emotions gather,
And drench your gut in their cold foreboding,
You, too, become a silent watcher, dissociated from your body,
Awake, asleep, floating.
Your mind says goodnight with finality,
Not willing to futher succumb to the night,
In the morning you’ll find you some superglue,
To hold together your broken promise to always take your side.
Apr 22, 2020
Apr 22, 2020 at 1:19 PM UTC