"funnies" poems
IT'S a jazz affair, drum crashes and cornet razzes
The trombone pony neighs and the tuba ******* snorts.
The banjo tickles and titters too awful.
The chippies talk about the funnies in the papers.
The cartoonists weep in their beer.
Ship riveters talk with their feet
To the feet of floozies under the tables.
A quartet of white hopes mourn with interspersed snickers:
"I got the blues.
I got the blues.
I got the blues."
And ... as we said earlier:
The cartoonists weep in their beer.
6.3k
always be surprised
be cautious of words
and how you affect others
love him
cry when you are sad
never lose your sense of faith
love and forgive when you are wronged
touch baby animals and live your life
remember that you were small once
be grateful for your life and the opportunities given to you
go to school
don’t lie
be mindful of yourself
stay healthy and exercise to make yourself happy, not for others
cry when you are angry
compliment strangers
give small gifts to those who deserve them for no other reason but that.
swearing is a waste of a language
spend your time sleeping and you will wake up full of dreams
belch and **** quietly.
apologize to enemies, move on.
drink tea
enjoy simple pleasures
don’t watch tv or read the newspaper
except the Sunday funnies.
smile at people when you pass them in hallways, make firm eye contact
have children and love them for who they are, no matter what
make a difference in the lives of people around you
giving is a bigger joy than receiving
flowers need appreciation as much, if not more than people
write poetry and live your life
don’t let people insult you.
stay safe
drink merlot because it tastes good, not to get drunk
offer help when someone looks as if they need it
don’t pass up chances to meet new people
cry when your heart hurts from being too full of love
Jun 1, 2011
Jun 1, 2011 at 6:06 PM UTC
Joseph sits on skinny chairs, reads the funnies
she would be tall, pretty hair, she don’t see
see he won’t be reading one bit, he looks dumb
just staring, looking fat, broken, glum
she cleans up all the plates
—Put those dishes down, now is a time for **********
I’ll take you now, and wonder if I’ve taken
steps enough to excuse my idleness; in time
you’ll leave, and supine, I’ll take a coat of lyme
and let the lines loose
We will communicate through touch and kiss
and enjoy the full of it, pull in the harvest;
light and movies romance the **** out of me
at last, we are at the end of all things irony
Christ that **** impersonal.
—This music don’t be coming from them
that is right, that is absolutely the end of them
they just end, I don’t care, I let it be
how come you so foolish, Joseph? I don’t see
why are you so foolish?
—You play the guitar by ear and plucking
at this moment they are dinosaur hunting
time is absurd and disgusting
I don’t understand it, I’m simply saying
you played some songs I knew at the time
But how different are your songs from mine
attach your seatbelts to your right hand buckles, fine
away with it, away with them all, please
I am telling, telling, understand, please
different in a few ways, love
—Joseph, you play the drums too loud
you are a big, dumb, idiot head
they end, it certainly has to be
it’s apocalyptic, something like this, said she
such a dummy you Joseph
the movie drums its so vicious loud
the end a dumb idiot head
that’s a thing she might have said at the time
and you are given a full witness to the violence of our time
Joseph plays bad harmonica.
Feb 13, 2010
Feb 13, 2010 at 3:00 PM UTC
rocking on this swing again
where I crept into the moon
so many nights with
and without you
twirling tongue spells
whispering kisses on the wind
I sat in blackness
sky light communion
praying begging manifestivals
for just the slightest uplift
in your shadowed lids
to peep ignite
while you steeped in other brew
as if I could pry you
from your own entrapments
you employ them
in places you won't let me
because you're scared
to open your hand
fully
dailies distract the knowing
and warm your frigid sheets
then you wonder why
there's no space
for we
I know I'm Sunday mornings
flung swift at your door
requiring all your insides
from turned-out pockets
but I'm also
high-gloss, full-color
edge-of-your-seat
content symph in inter-D
and every last **** one
of the funnies
plus those coupons in the middle
to places you've never been
they kick back everything
you've thrown in
10,000 folds
uncreasing dewy
unto you
Mar 12, 2017
Mar 12, 2017 at 4:59 PM UTC
I find it kind of funny
That people care after it's too late
I find it kind of funny
When people care about **** they're unable to do anything about
I find it kind of funny
That people can care about people they never knew existed, but most likely wouldn't do **** to help them
I find it ******* hilarious
That people care what I do with my life
Nov 14, 2015
Nov 14, 2015 at 12:42 PM UTC
Thirteen Reasons Why Not
We are not permitted to choose the frame of our destiny.
But what we put into it is ours.
-Dag Hammarskjold
1. God made you; you can never be replaced
2. God made you for some purpose – live to find it
3. Someone is blessed in knowing you each day
4. You must live so that others may live
5. Someone desperately needs your kindness right now
6. You haven’t yet written your book, your story, your song
7. When you offer up your suffering, you help others
8. Children running barefoot through the flowers of spring
9. Children running barefoot through the leaves of autumn
10. Dachshund puppies. And leaves. And flowers. And children
11. Coffee and a talk with a good friend
12. Breakfast and the Sunday morning funnies
13. That empty pew God has saved just for you
May 6, 2017
May 6, 2017 at 5:13 PM UTC
This is a window on the world,
Written by a once time girl,
Guidelines for chicks and men,
A new set of commandments,
Take these for what they're meant,
Be yourself, all chicks and dudes,
Let it all go, we learn in life's long school,
Act the way you want to feel,
You can pretend smiles, which are real,
Do it now, procrastinate later,
Ignore distractions, they're to bait ya!
Lighten up, think of funnies,
Do stuff, even if you don't need money,
Be polite, stay in touch, friends old and new,
Be kind, not exploited, all of you,
Less is more of things to do......
New commandments from me to you!
May 20, 2016
May 20, 2016 at 4:11 AM UTC
Give her chance. Meet her for coffee. You'll never know if you like the way her shampoo smells, or the way her nose crooks slightly to the left unless you put down $2.25 for a cup of burnt mouth and laughter so loud that the entire cafe wonders what kind of nerve you two have.
You'll never know if you prefer her hands draped over your arms, or mine wrapped around your cheeks. While discussing spider legs and thigh gaps, the dead, the dying and the decay of classic rock, you might find that you like the way she tucks her hair behind her ear, but hate the way she inhales through her mouth and sighs with the flits of her eyelashes.
Maybe she's the Wednesday obituary. Maybe she's the Sunday paper with all the colored funnies your inner ten year old desires.
Maybe she's your glass of wine. Maybe she's your shot of whiskey. Or maybe she'll flow through your body like ice water. You've never been one for alcohol anyway.
Give her a chance. Meet her for coffee. Watch how her *** moves in her jeans. See the gleam of her little chiclet teeth when she smiles.
But don't think about me. Don't remember the way my hips curve. Don't think bow of my lips or the Cupid's arrow that once punched you so hard in the mouth that you smiled for an entire year of your life. Don't put that white paper cup to your lips and pretend that your tasting the way words dance around my tongue.
Go out and love someone. Love them for their mountains and valleys. Love them through their stormy nights and sunny mornings. Love them like you run. Full force, breathless, exhausted to the point of happiness. Chase after them until your lungs and legs give out. Just don't give up, and don't give in. And don't forget that I loved you first, but you loved me most. No matter where your feet or heart take you, that will never change.
Mar 13, 2015
Mar 13, 2015 at 4:52 PM UTC
The branches shook in the wind,
sending more drops to deform the writing.
Puddles surrounding,
it is soon to be drowned.
Sitting under a park bench.
Left and forgotten.
The Sunday funnies are no longer funny,
the news is no longer important, and
the score on the Giants game debatable.
It starts to pour.
Rain washes away footprints,
chalk and spilled ice cream cones.
It even washes away the news when forgotten,
under a park bench on a Thursday evening.
Nov 23, 2011
Nov 23, 2011 at 5:35 PM UTC
I agape of all finished afterthought, some allude to almanac's packed of alms, some totaled, sold and bought!!
Altruism,pigism, ambiguous to ambitions own an'nals,
Some take fairies to ride, some get high getting annulled on thine way out!!!
Antagonisms councils costumed to personify perverse college boys,
They all wear ties,
Doest thou prepare to die?
Doth thou succumb to heavy metal noise? Subterfuges narrate concert speakers of noose tied voids!!!
Precious,
Precious flamboyant memorizer,
Hath thou memorized to thy fullest privelage?
Art thou the born leader thou claims to be?
Or art thou the slave of thine flattery made village?
This forlorn spirit is burdened down to be free,
To be free of all devils,
All doubts and all deed!!!
Where is ones donational vocational school grads love?
Is it hidden within lockers of broken hearted hunnies?
Doth thy stomach overflow with butterfly fluids?
While many rob you of lovers money,
Dizzy funnies!!!
Hand holders of descendants grumpy mishappers,
Where is love when one seeks so hard for it????!
May 19, 2015
May 19, 2015 at 8:40 PM UTC
DIY AI
Do It Yourself
Act Inteleostical
aim at fame, take the blame
aim at shame, hide and watch
aim at games no mind can matter in,
hope to hell that you are right,
roll the bones…
let the story form the world we agree upon,
stand, bipedally biased to lieve be
the balance factor in terms
of fear being a reason
to respond,
in one way, or another, knowing now
time is all together different than imagined,
not long ago,
on a little think… we know the journey story,
did we
really live so far from the center?
It seems so,
from where I stand, unembodied in another
reconnected to the story,
a book's worth of time, stretched to thinnistical
translucence,
sparks we imagine having seen as signals slow
to
geo speed, Gaia mind, ****** - that
sensation of ever mattering
just now,
for a moment, then
now, again, similar but never the same,
riverish as any wish one tests
again, after ever has began
to play in the per-ifery.
Dec 20, 2020
Dec 20, 2020 at 1:56 PM UTC
These girlies aint real
Claim they fufilled only when they on the pills
Claim they got it but they missin some bills
Claim they higha when they on some loud
But when they confront all you hear is them meows
**** is you saying
Ain't gotta slang to show you my deal
Don't **** with these cons
I'm shooting these names
These girlies is talk like you run up just for the bronze
Play you in a room full of ******* and all you hear is the yawns
I swear I see you dudes when I mowing my lawns
Snakes in my backyard like you committing a fraud
**** outta here with the weak **** I'm sick of ya bars
i’ll eat you ******* and yall multiply so i’ll never starve
have my heart in my sleeve
you wookies got ya hearts in ya cars
possessions all you living the norm
i bet that **** is corn, you say you cold but you straight looking for warmth
throwing these shots like if these bullets were thoughts
king of these clowns they aint ever been down
you know they cats when they hear me coming they bounce
you know they cats when they shoot me through fake accounts
you know they cats when **** up the deala for the ounce
you know they cats when they roll deep in the city and aint claiming they ground
they flossin what they wish they had, i hear you want them discounts
like whats up your talk?
you just lost and found and soon to be shot with em rounds
with these words so i would back down
im with the funnies so im the clown of this town
Jun 19, 2015
Jun 19, 2015 at 1:25 AM UTC
schulz' gang
spins klutzy comical
situations, worthy
of syndication
for its contribution
in the funnies section
Jun 14, 2016
Jun 14, 2016 at 10:47 PM UTC
I have invented a sport called Yogates,
What, indeed, is this, if you please?
Why, for you, it is inertia, you see,
You lie under a blanket, only breathe,
You wear what you like in Yogates,
A steady state of not doing,
No, you are not doing Yoga or jogging,
In cute couture like shorties,
You are not swimming in pool or sea,
No chlorination fever for thee or me,
No lycra or spandex triathletes,
No marathons for fluoro funnies,
So, this is multi age or gender, see,
Yes, all you do is lie there and breathe,
Now you can opt to do Yogates,
Or not, it is not compulsory!
Sep 3, 2016
Sep 3, 2016 at 6:05 PM UTC
In Cyberland, Microsoft is King
And we all pray to Google.
There is an Apple Resistance,
And Yahoo keeps on yelling,
But Microsoft is King.
Where did Jeeves go?
Remember him, you oldies?
A smiling Hitchcock fatty
You could ask things.
Remember Bebo and MySpace too.
But now we Snapchat through the day
And ask folk WhatsApp.
All in an Instagram.
(My Custom Dictionary
Is filling with new words).
So now it’s time for Tik Tok.
(See what I did there?)
That’s if the Americans allow it!
And much more no doubt.
Instagram Gratification
Flashing images
And clips.
No time for tedious talking
On landline phones
Or, heaven forbid,
Face to face conversation.
Writing – or rather typing – too is clipped
With lols & rofls & tbfs.
Lazy language
Tweets in textese
Fast and fleeting.
Facebook Funnies
With bouncy banter.
As a loyal subject of Cyberland
I do confess
To many an hour
Sifting through Facebook Memories
Even improving old posts
With coloured backgrounds
And sharper edits.
Addictive Internet indeed.
Yet
In years to come
Will we laugh loudly
At the mention of Google
And all the names I’ve said
Like we snigger at Bebo, MySpace
And Nokia Mobiles now?
The tsunami of technological change
Sweeps over our heads
Smashing the past:
Leading us
To who knows where.
For better or worse
Who can say?
Wherever we are going,
We are well on the way.
Paul Butters
© PB 17\9\2020.
Sep 17, 2020
Sep 17, 2020 at 5:01 AM UTC
We are not permitted to choose the frame of our destiny.
But what we put into it is ours.
-Dag Hammarskjold
1. God made you; you can never be replaced
2. God made you for some purpose – live to find it
3. Someone is blessed each day in knowing you
4. You must live so that others may live
5. Someone desperately needs your kindness right now
6. You haven’t yet written your book, your story, your song
7. When you offer up your suffering, you help others
8. Children running barefoot through the flowers of spring
9. Children running barefoot through the leaves of autumn
10. Dachshund puppies. And leaves. And flowers. And children
11. Coffee and a talk with a good friend
12. Breakfast and the Sunday morning funnies
13. That empty pew God has saved just for you
May 26, 2018
May 26, 2018 at 4:52 PM UTC
head throbbing, no pop in my ear,
Or iPhone in my hand,
sitting on the steps of the third floor.
We sit together, after hours, in
the C wing halls
because you don't like books.
Beige tile meadows, sprinkled
Here and there
With wildflowers left by youth:
Doritos, Pepsi, lunch trays.
The brick sky overhead,
Gleaming with Edisonian sunshine.
We read the funnies,
Featured weekly on staircase rails
And bathroom stalls in Sharpie, we
Listen to rap in Cantonese and Korean,
Knowing that the open fights,
The stolen kisses, the dress code strictures
Are transient; what we'll remember
Is these walls and these rails
Breathe our lives, our thoughts,
Echoes our minds
Aug 9, 2017
Aug 9, 2017 at 5:40 PM UTC
Star light
Star bright
First star I see tonight
I wish I may
I wish I might
Have this wish
I wish tonight
I wish for her words
To fill my life again
Read the song of her heart
As it takes flight on ink wings
I wish she’d tell me
How she’s doing
Why she has my amygdala
Wrapped 17 times around her pinky
I wish I could tell her
I ****** up
Turning back isn’t an option
Maybe her silence
Is her way of staying out of reach
Knowing I’ll only hurt her more
So scratch that wish
It would only be selfish
I wish only
Her to be happier
Then I made her
When all I did
Was leave the phone on speaker
Listening to her smile
As she told her little funnies
Filled to the brim with (pun)nies
May 8, 2019
May 8, 2019 at 12:31 AM UTC
I’m goofing with the pixies
Dancing with the elves
Leaving all the ogres
Snoring by themselves.
I’m flying with the will-of-the wisps
On the route of Santa Claus.
I rest a while on a passing cloud
Whenever I need a pause.
There’s lots of space you can freely share
When you are playing in castles in the air.
First you have to get that high on the slope
To launch yourself off with a wish and a hope.
Some lose because they don’t know the ropes
Or not keeping their vision in their scope.
I love to see imaginary friends
And smoke with the pipe dreams
While floating up and down
Along the flow of creative streams.
The idea is to set your mind free
To roam wide and as far as can be
Laughing with characters from the funnies
Or rollicking fun with egg laying bunnies.
There’s lots of space you can freely share
When you are playing in castles in the air.
First you have to get that high on the slope
To launch yourself off with a wish and a hope.
Some lose because they don’t know the ropes
Or not keeping their vision solidly in the scope.
So, look for the wiggle wobbles near you
And keep your eyes open for witches too.
Magicians may also come from time to time
Because making magic is never a crime.
Listen to the stories told by clever mimes;
The enchanting mysteries in their rhymes
That often turn out to be the most sublime.
And let that person know you have the time.
I love to see imaginary friends
And smoke with the pipe dreams
While floating up and down
Along the flow of creative streams.
The idea is to set your mind free
To roam wide and as far as can be
Laughing with characters from the funnies
Or rollicking fun with egg laying bunnies.
Apr 20, 2018
Apr 20, 2018 at 11:40 PM UTC
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
Sep 27, 2015
Sep 27, 2015 at 4:25 PM UTC
dedicated to the people effected by Volcano Kilauea
a innnnnnn t th e very beginning of
every advanced society
one finds something the Sunday Funnies used to
be the cutting edge;
The Colossus of Rhodes /roʊdz/ (Ancient Greek: ὁ Κολοσσὸς Ῥόδιος,
transliteration. ** Kolossòs Rhódios) was a statue of the Greek sun-god Helios, designed in part by the world renown genius
engineer Archemides , gigantic L e B ron man straddling to be erected as a m sentinel to guard over in the to look o city of
Rhodes, on the Greek i sland of the same name, by Chares
of Lindos in 280 BC. One of the Inana bronze Seven Wonders of the
nnnnnnnnnnn / Ancient World, / originally of the seven veils designed to a mechanical man;
it was constructed to celebrate Rhodes' victory over Cyprus
& Antigonus I Monophthalmus, whose son then unsuccessfully
n attacke d Rhodes in 305 BC.
that looks like a comic;
they end
book; pictographs give graphic novels are read more closely
than actual news
;newspapers; all lie in social decline
way to hieroglyphs (mythic monuments told tales; & "Mother of the Sun, Theia
of many names, for your sake men honor gold as more powerful than anything else; and through the value you best ow on them, o queen, ships contending on the sea
and yoked teams of horses in swift-whirling contests become marvels."
soon we'll all know Chinese. the Colossus stood 100 feet high— approximate
height of the modern Statue of Liberty
from feet to crown; which was originally designed as a massive naked woman representing Liberty;
Jun 1, 2018
Jun 1, 2018 at 6:12 AM UTC
Thirteen Reasons...
We are not permitted to choose the frame of our destiny.
But what we put into it is ours.
-Dag Hammarskjold
1. God made you; you can never be replaced
2. God made you for some purpose – live to find it
3. Someone is blessed each day in knowing you
4. You must live so that others may live
5. Someone desperately needs your kindness right now
6. You haven’t yet written your book, your story, your
song
7. When you offer up your suffering, you help others
8. Children running barefoot through the flowers of
spring
9. Children running barefoot through the leaves of
autumn
10. Dachshund puppies. And children. And flowers. And leaves
11. Coffee and a talk with a good friend
12. Breakfast and the Sunday morning funnies
13. That space in the pew God has saved for you
-from Coffee and a Dead Alligator to Go
Possibly a re-post
Jul 21, 2019
Jul 21, 2019 at 9:31 AM UTC
Love and the Sunday Funnies
We will not turn on the radio today
We will repudiate its veto over us
We will silence its news and its noise
We will not wait upon its appointed hours
We will sit in the windowlight and read
Maybe the Great Books, or maybe the funnies
-The funnies!
Let’s read the funnies to each other, and laugh
About Charlie Brown and his kite-eating tree
And joyfully fling the funnies and ourselves
Upon the sunbeams, all over the floor
Nov 25, 2018
Nov 25, 2018 at 2:37 PM UTC
We will not turn on the radio today
We will repudiate its veto over us
We will silence its news and its noise
We will not wait upon its appointed hours
We will sit in the windowlight and read
Maybe the Great Books, or maybe the funnies
-The funnies!
Let’s read the funnies to each other, and laugh
About Charlie Brown and his kite-eating tree
And joyfully fling the funnies and ourselves
Upon the sunbeams, all over the floor
Nov 25, 2018
Nov 25, 2018 at 2:36 PM UTC