I
Colonel Zaev(1), our commander,
Lived seventeen years in Angolian land.
There are no Luanda’s(2) experts better
Than him- he met its ambassadors two hundred
Times. He smashed UNITA(3) and weakened SAR’s (4)
Power. He supported Fidel Castro(5)
And he became famous for counter-attacks.
The Angolians call him Victor-Pastor:
He does always set the young on the right path:
Aoi!

II
Roberto Holden6 was the foe of Neto
He was a monarcho-tribolist.
And he happened to declare vendetta
To foes. His aim’s to banish socialists.
He invited China’s instructors to teach his
Soldiers the skill of fighting retreating under
Kifangondo(7), he’d not swiftly yield positions
Colonel Callan(8) retreated farther
With him. He was a cruel and fearless
Rascal, he was good at arranging ambush in
Woods. He fought hand-to-hand many times
But he was taken prisoner by the Guard
He declared political indifference but the court
To his grief didn’t believe him so that
Then he was quickly and publicly shot.
Aoi!

III
Savimbi Jonas(9) continued that war
Robin Holden quitted his Motherland –
It’s hard to revise views. What’s to be done for
Tearing a half away for his Fatherland?
He went to America, got a Baptist,
As preacher – he was the lost’s lecturer.
He didn’t wish just to be a pessimist
He wanted to live till times more fair.
Savimbi Jonas founded UNITA –
He made up his mind to go underground
MPLA’s detachments were defeated
By the Cubans but they were free quite
For diversions in the city. A new spiral
Of resistance began – two ideologies’
Confrontation took place and in final
It did cost life to many people for this.
Aoi!

IV
Our Victor Zaev, the commander
Of marines often trained us tirelessly
And all of us were not up to laughter
In gas-masks. We loaded incessantly
Our guns, we crossed the equator, anyway
In a moment Poseidon glorifying
By recompense. We stuck to the right fairway,
Neptun’s Day(10) became a great undertaking.
Aoi!

V
Coming to Luanda was usual rather,
The port’s scenery was bright, beautiful.
“Well, beauty!” exclaimed Igor, a warrant officer,
Zaev added: “It’s, brothers, very wonderful!”
Our councilor climbed up a deck as
Head of the Soviet military legation
He tried to explain the situation to us
Continuous seemed to be his Head’s duration.
Then the Cubans’ crew met us, their commander,
Did happen to know Russian at his fingers’
End. He valued the bearing of our landing
Force. And he was called Francisco Ortis.
Aoi!

VI
Here Agostino Neto came with
His suite consisting of twelve grandees
The President was cordial and gay. This
Day was marvellously fine, in his
Speech he praised the ******’s guard arranged
To meet him. He’d not fail to give his regiment
For it. “What an array!” admired said
Antonio. And at this moment
Tanks floated forward out of the hold
To display Agostino manoeures
Antonio began to sweat: old
Allies can always surprise friends, of course.
The Angolians were invited to dinner
And contented officials were standing
But “No!” was Neto’s serious answer,
“We should return for the fight’s resuming!”
Aoi!

VII
We reached Kanton on cruisers. A warrant
Officer cried: “Sound urgently bells”
The Angolians didn’t let us on to the port,
We anchored no outer roads. What was else?
Mattheu Kureku visited us then.
The President of far mountains of Benin,
And we’d appreciate his being of those men
Who were as modest as Ibn- Sina.
We displayed him gifts and even more
Than we wanted: hand- to- hand fight,
The landing force’s landing to the shore.
Mattheu said us his warm good- bye after that.
Aoi!

VIII
Soon we headed for Luanda, how
Long an action had been fought in its suburbs
And suddenly we saw a fishing scow
Six fisher- men were rowing in the ocean’s
Water catching the sight of us they began
To row faster knots increasing as
If punishment waited them but the race did happen
To be transitory. But cruisors’ powers
Are not boats’ powers equal and at last
We caught them, their fish fell to our lot.
The fish’ reserves were enough for a month.
We said with thankfulness: “Thank you a lot!”
The meeting was pleasant for them and us.
Aoi!

IX
Suddenly came order of the day:
To bring in an identification prisoner. Stas
A secrete service man, volunteered. Anyway,
His own fist was of the bull’s head’s size.
And Grigory, head naval petty officer
Then did volunteer to follow Stas.
“Well, who is else?” were the sailors asked after
It. Silence. It’s better to live on deck. At last,
Watching this the captain himself intervened
In it. His bas was heard even in far hold: “Oh,
You, cowards, I’ll feed you to whales, mind it!”
And phrases were not necessary any more.
Thus six more sailors gathered together – they were
Superheroes as if they were handpicked
The detachment of sound, strong men. Chernomor
Himself would take them so quick-witted.
There are not more safe people in the fleet,
There were not, there won’t be, indeed!
Aoi!

X
Here the scouts came down from the deck and they
All went so deep into a foreign land
A hundred verst’s was their sailing away
From the port. Ships from their Motherland
Were seen. Their commander
was the major lieutenant
And he said: “Motherland is calling us!”
In the fleet he was just called Kostya Brandt –
He did lead the scouts bravely forwards!
Aoi!

XI
The detachment marched into woods being dense,
The jungle were rustling around Luanda. It
Was raining cats and dogs, there was entrance
There, there was no exit for retreat!
They covered their necessary ten versts
More on that day they heard their foes’ voices.
They thought: it’s, perhaps, one of hostile posts.
A good luck attended them! The members
Of UNITA waited for them ahead
Savimba knew of Brandt’s group so dare –
Devil. He was warned by an Angolian friend,
The general had friends everywhere.
Aoi!

XII
Even Kostya Brandt didn’t know it
And he led his vanguard through a marshy path
Sailors were like brothers in the detachment.
Everybody was ready to sacrifice
Himself! And suddenly they saw in front:
Tents standing in forty meters from them and
And something went pit- a pat in Kostya Brandt
And he stretched his hand to a pistol hard.
They stole up to the last one, went into it:
It was empty, there were only playing- cards
There: and perhaps it seemed to them far, indeed?
On the ground there were three machine-guns.
Aoi!

XIII
Meanwhile Savimbi Jonas gathered troops
And he made such a speech when warriors gathered
Together: “We’ll die for freedom as heroes
We do not want another Motherland!
We will repulse all the Cuban occupants
We’ve recently sacked all the colonists!
The Soviet landing force’s scouts
Are going here. Near are the communists!
We’ll organize ambush for them behind the tent –
I’m sure they will go into it a at once.
I was informed that there are less than ten
Of them. We’ll **** the foes at once
We’ ll win because there are much more of us”
And selecting one hundred and forty men,
The strongest ones, Savimbi encircled the scouts.
Aoi!

XIV
“Well, that’s all, forward”, Kostya said strictly
The tent’s bed- curtains having half- opened
By his hand. But suddenly he was slightly
Taken aback- he saw foes get in his road
And he did cry: “We shall die for Russia-
Not disgracing ancestors or the Motherland!”
He stepped forward like a sent messia
He had no right to run away like a coward.
Aoi!

XV
Ours defended each other by backs hard
The battle was hot as it was hand- to- hand.
Two sides’ supporters did not know fright
This region was home for the partisans. And
Brandt fought as an ancient lion Neimeyan –
No pistols’ bullets could reach him at all.
He was a mighty, stately warrior European –
UNITA’s terror and poets’ idol!
The partisans had also a strong warrior –
He was called Manuel by Luanda’s citizens
When hunting he became a hero of yore –
He could hit varios marks without miss.
He took aim at the lieutenant’s back so that
A sharp bullet could pierce his heart. He pressed
The sear. And it did hurt Konstantin and
Shroud overshadowed his consciousness
And a celestial disk burning low, meciless
It’s opening a picture before his eyes:
His own mother’s meeting him and he is
Whispering her: “Mum, I’m going to the skies ”
And fell onto the ground Kostya breathless:
People’s blood was shed as the river around
But ours fought desiring nevertheless
To be gone with foes in the palace. Wounded
Stas’ll hit and three of them’ll fall without
Life’s signs. When he hits on the right–eight
Of them’ll fall at once although there are a few
Epic heroes all of them are heroes dead.
The dead can’t be responsible anew.
Aoi!

XVI
They all were dead. There were
three times more foes
Ours and UNITA collected the dead.
And that very day happened to be worth
A week. Bitter news of blood that was shed
Killed us. Our ship was anchored for five days more
We covered Cuban troops from the sea there.
On the sixth day we sailed from the shore,
Painful grief left an after- taste in their
Mouths. And Victor Zaev, our bold
Colonel, was silent in painful sadness,
He had done the last deed for the dead of old.
He presented them with rewards: “For service”
Putting them on each of coffins. All the ******
Were standing being in their low spirits.
Aoi!

XVII
Thus the song of Luanda came to an end
We paid our duty to military Motherland.
We’d drawn up and the commander said:
“Fine fellows! I wish your life to be quiet!”
Then he sailed not a little, I must say.
He waged war in seven companies. “Glory!”
Cry we to him in Navy Day today.
That is the end of the Luandian story.
Aoi!
The Civil war in Angola represented armed confrontation between
quarelling with each other groups: MPLA (People’s movement for
Angola’s liberation, the Labour’s Party), (port.Movimento Popular de
Liberaçao de Angola- Partido de Trabajo, MPLA), UNITA (port. Uniao
Nacional para a Independencia, Total de Angola, UNITA). The war began
in 1975.
1.Victor Zaev is the main hero of the given poetical work, he is an
invented personage;
2. Luanda (port. Luanda)- Angola’s capital;
3. UNITA – see above;
4. SAR – South African Republic;
5. Fidel Castro – Fidel Alejandro Castro Rus; he was born in August,
13, 1926; Biran, province Oriente , Cuba. He’s a Cuban revolutionary,
party and political figure, Chairman of Ministers’ Council and Chairman
of the State Council of Cuba (president) in 1959- 2008 and 1976- 2008.
6. Roberto Holden- Holden Alvaro Alberto (port. Holden Roberto;
January, 12, 1923, Mbanza- Kongo(its former name is San- Salvadordu- Kongo)- August,2, 2007, Luanda). He was also Jose Gilmore, an Angolian founder and many- year leader of the National Liberation’s Front (FNLA). An active participant of the war for Independence and of the Civil war in Angola. He’s a conservative monarcho-tribolist, anticommunist.
He was a member of the Angolian Parliament.
7. “…under Kirfangongondo…” – this battle was from October, 23
until November,10, 1975 in Angola. It was the first common victory of MPLA and the Cubans.
8. the colonel Kallen… – he is also “colonel Callan, a British service
man, corporal of parachute troops’ regiment’s corporal.” He’s an ethnic
Greek and Cypriot (Greek. Kώozaç Γιώργιoν). He’s a participant of the
Angolian’s Civil war, on FNLA’s side. He was executed according to the
court’s sentence in Luanda, on July,10, 1976.
9. Savimbi Jonas Maiheiro, (August, 3, 1934- February, 22, 2002),
an Angolian political and military figure, a partisan leader, the rebel
movement’s founder and the political Party UNITA’s founder from
March,13, 1966 to February, 22, 2002. He was an active participant of the
Angolian war for independence and of the Civil war. He was candidate
for President in Angolian elections in 1992. He was a prominent figure
of Cold War and world anti- communist movement.
10 Neptun’s Day-Nepptun’s holiday, sometimes it’s called “Neptun’s
Day”. It’s a water show. Sailors founded this tradition after their crossing
of the equator.

{2018}


ПЕСНЬ
I
Наш командир – полковник Виктор Заев(1)
Семнадцать лет прожил в стране Ангольской.
Страну Луанду(2) он отлично знает –
Встречал раз двести местное посольство.
Разбил УНИТА(3) и ЮАР(4) ослабил,
Поддержку оказал Фиделю Кастро(5)
В контратаках. И себя прославил.
Зовут его ангольцы Виктор-Пастор:
Он молодых советом наставляет.
Аой!

II
Роберто Холден(6) был врагом для Нето –
По убеждению – монархо-трайболистом.
И объявил противникам вендетту,
Поставив цель – изгнать социалистов.
Он пригласил инструкторов Китая
Учить своих солдат уменью драться.
Под Кифангондо(7) в битве отступая,
Он не хотел стремительно сдаваться.
С ним отступал назад полковник Каллэн(8) –
Головорез жестокий, но бесстрашный.
Засады ставил он в лесах умело,
Не раз бывал и лично в рукопашной.
Но был пленён он гвардией. И вскоре
Всем заявил свою аполитичность.
Но не поверил суд ему на горе –
Он был расстрелян быстро и публично.
Аой!

III
Савимби Жонаш(9) ту войну продолжил,
Роберто Холден родину покинул –
Переосмыслить взгляды очень сложно:
Как оторвать Отчизне половину?
В Америку уехал, стал баптистом,
Как проповедник – лектором заблудших.
Он не желал быть просто пессимистом
И до времён хотел дожить до лучших.
Савимби Жонаш основал УНИТА –
Борьбу свою он перевёл в подполье:
Отряды МПЛА кубинцами разбиты,
Но для диверсий в городах – раздолье.
Второй виток пошёл сопротивленья –
Противоборства двух идеологий.
И жизнями платило населенье –
Война тогда коснулась очень многих.
Аой!

IV
Наш Виктор Заев – командир морпехов -
Тренировал нас часто, неустанно:
В противогазах было не до смеха -
Мы заряжали пушки беспрестанно.
Пересекли в один момент экватор,
Прославив Посейдона воздаяньем,
Наш путь лежал на правильный фарватер.
Нептуна день (10) – большое начинанье!
Аой!

V
Приход в Луанду очень был обычным,
Пейзаж портовый – яркий и прекрасный.
«Ну, лепота!» - воскрикнул Игорь-мичман.
Добавил Заев: «Это, братья, классно!»
На палубу советник наш поднялся –
Глава советской миссии военной.
Он обстановку дать нам постарался,
Поскольку был там, кажется, бессменно.
Затем кубинцев встретила команда –
Их командир знал русский в идеале.
Он оценил всю выправку десанта –
Франсиско Ортис команданте звали.
Аой!

VI
Вот Агостиньо Нето подошёл
Со свитою двенадцати вельмож.
Был Президент приветлив и весёл,
И день был удивительно хорош!
Он похвалил матросский караул,
Поставленный наверх его встречать.
«За них бы полк отдать не преминул, –
Антонио сказал, – вот это рать!»
Из трюма танки выплыли вперёд –
Маневры Агостиньо показать.
Антонио пробил холодный пот:
Союзники умеют удивлять!
Ангольцев пригласили на обед –
Чиновники довольные стоят.
Но Нето отвечал серьёзно: «– Нет,
Нам возвращаться надобно назад!»
Аой!

VII
На крейсерах в Катону мы приплыли
И крикнул мичман: «Склянки срочно бейте!»
Но в порт ангольцы нас не пропустили –
На якорь встали мы на внешнем рейде.
Затем нас посетил Матье Куреку –
Сам Президент из дальних гор Бенина –
Заметим в дань ему как человеку –
Он скромен был как мудрый Ибн Сина.
Ему мы показали все таланты –
И даже больше, чем хотели сами:
Бой рукопашный, высадку десанта.
Матье тогда тепло прощался с нами.
Аой!

VIII
И взяли курс мы снова на Луанду –
Велись бои давно в её предместьях.
Вдруг видим мы рыбацкие шаланды –
По океану плыло ровно шесть их.
Завидев нас, они быстрей поплыли,
Узлов прибавив, будто ждёт их кара!
Не долгими, однако, гонки были.
Любая лодка крейсеру не пара!
Догнали их. И нам досталась рыба –
Запасов тех на месяцы хватило.
Сказали мы признательно: «Спасибо!»
И после встречи всем приятно было!
Аой!

IX
Нежданно вдруг пришёл такой приказ:
Любой ценой доставить языка.
Тут вызвался морской разведчик Стас –
Его кулак был с голову быка.
И главный корабельный старшина
Григорий захотел идти за ним.
– «Ну, кто ещё?» – спросили. Тишина.
Уж лучше быть на палубе живым.
Тогда вмешался лично капитан –
Был даже в дальнем трюме слышен бас:
– «Ну, трусы! Всех скормлю сейчас китам!»
И больше не понадобилось фраз.
Так набралось ещё шесть моряков –
Супергерои – все как на подбор –
Отряд здоровых, крепких мужиков.
Их взял бы даже Дядька-Черномор!
Надёжнее людей на флоте нет
И не было, не будет и вовек!
Ушло в разведку восемь человек.
Аой!

X
Вот с палубы разведчики сошли
И углубились в даль чужой земли.
На сотню вёрст от порта отошли –
Уж не видать родные корабли.
Руководил всем старший лейтенант.
И молвил он: «Нас Родина зовёт!»
Его на флоте звали Костя Брандт –
Он храбро вёл разведчиков вперёд!
Аой!

XI
Отряд вступил в дремучие леса –
Вокруг Луанды джунгли шелестят.
Льют воду каждый день тут небеса –
Зашёл туда и нет пути назад!
Прошли они ещё десяток вёрст,
Услышали чужие голоса.
Подумали: возможно, вражий пост –
Счастливая настала полоса!
Унитовцы их ждали впереди.
О группе Брандта сам Савимби знал –
Его ангольский друг предупредил:
Имел везде знакомых генерал.
Аой!

XII
Сего не ведал даже Костя Брандт
И вёл отряд болотистой тропой.
Любой матрос в отряде был как брат.
Готовы все пожертвовать собой!
И вдруг увидел каждый впереди:
Стоят палатки метрах в сорока.
У Кости что-то ёкает в груди
И к пистолету тянется рука.
Подкрались к крайней и в неё зашли:
В палатке пусто, карты на столе –
А может, померещилось вдали?
Три автомата было на земле.
Аой!

XIII
Меж тем собрал Савимби Жонаш войско
И речь сказал собравшимся такую:
– «Мы за свободу все умрём геройски,
Ведь не желаем родину другую!
Дадим отпор кубинским оккупантам –
Прогнали ведь недавно колонистов!
Разведчики советского десанта
Идут сюда. Уж близко коммунисты!
Устроим им засаду за палаткой –
Они войдут в неё, уверен, сразу.
Мне донесли: их менее десятка.
Возьмём числом: врагов положим разом!»
И отобрав сто сорок самых сильных,
Пошёл Савимби окружать разведку.
Аой!

XIV
«– Ну, всё, выходим!» – Костя молвил строго,
Палатки полог приоткрыв рукою.
Но только вдруг... опешил он немного,
Когда врагов увидел пред собою.
И закричал: «Умрём же за Россию –
Не посрамим и предков, и державу!»
Шагнул вперёд, как посланный миссия –
Он не имел бежать позорно право.
Аой!

XV
Стояли наши все спиной друг к другу,
Был жаркий бой, поскольку рукопашный.
Из двух сторон никто не знал испуга –
Для партизан был этот край домашним.
И бился Брандт как древний лев немейский –
Его не брали пули пистолетов!
Могуч и статен воин европейский –
Гроза УНИТА и кумир поэтов!
У партизан был тоже сильный воин –
Его луандцы звали Мануэлем.
Он на охоте сделался героем –
Без промаха стрелял по разным целям.
Прицелился он лейтенанту в спину,
Чтоб сердце пуля острая пробила.
Нажал на спуск. И больно Константину,
И пелена сознание затмила.
И тут картину взору открывает
Небесный диск, на небе догорая:
Родная мать с войны его встречает,
А он ей шепчет: «Мама, умираю…»
Упал на землю Костя бездыханно:
Людская кровь лилась вокруг рекою.
Но бились наши – было им желанно
Нести в чертог жизнь вражью за собою.
Изранен Стас: ударит – лягут трое,
Направо стукнет – лягут сразу восемь.
Богатырей хоть мало, все – герои
Погибшие. А с мёртвых долг не спросят.
Аой!

XVI
Все полегли. Врагов – в три раза больше.
Забрали павших наши и УНИТА.
И день тот был иной недели дольше.
Мы были горькой новостью убиты.
Ещё пять дней на якоре стояли –
Мы части Кубы прикрывали с моря.
На день шестой под вечер отплывали –
Осадок был от тягостного горя.
И Виктор Заев, наш полковник смелый,
Молчал угрюмо в тягостной печали.
Последнее для павших сделал дело –
Он «За отвагу» им вручил медали.
На каждый гроб он положил награду –
Все моряки в унынии стояли.
Аой!

XVII
Так завершилась песня о Луанде.
Отдали долг мы воинский Отчизне.
Наш командир сказал тогда команде:
– «Вы молодцы! Желаю мирной жизни!»
Он по морям потом немало плавал.
И воевал ещё в семи кампаньях.
В день ВМФ кричим ему мы: «Слава!» –
На том конец Луандского сказанья!
Аой!
{31.12.2015}

Гражданская война в Анголе представляла собой вооружён-
ное противостояние между враждующими группировками: МПЛА (Народное движение за освобождение Анголы – Партия труда (порт. Movimento Popular de Libertação de Angola — Partido doTrabalho, MPLA), ФНЛА (порт. Frente Nacional de Libertação de Angola,
FNLA) и УНИТА (порт. União Nacional para a Independência
Total de Angola, UNITA). Война началась в 1975 году, а завершилась
в 2002 году.
1. Виктор Заев – главный герой данного поэтического произве-
дения, вымышленный персонаж;
2. Луанда (порт. Luanda) – столица Анголы;
3. УНИТА – см. выше;
4. ЮАР – Южно-Африканская республика
5. Фидель Кастро – Фиде́ль Алеха́ндро Ка́стро Рус (исп. Fidel
Alejandro Castro Ruz; род. 13 августа1926; Биран, провинция Орьенте, Куба) – кубинский революционер, государственный, политический и партийный деятель, который являлся Председателем Совета министров и Председателем Государственного совета Кубы (президентом) в 1959 – 2008 и 1976 – 2008 годах.
6. Роберто Холден – Холден Альваро Робер-
то (порт. Holden Roberto; 12 января 1923, Мбанза-Кон-
го (тогдашнее название – Сан-Сальвадор-ду-Конго) –
2 августа 2007, Луанда), он же Жозе Жилмор (порт.José Gilmore)
– ангольский политик, основатель и многолетний лидер Национального фронта освобождения Анголы (ФНЛА). Активный участник войны за независимость и гражданской войны в Анголе. Консерватор, монархо-трайбалист, антикоммунист. В 1992 – 2007 годах– депутат парламента Анголы.
7. «…под Кифангондо в битве…» – это битва при Кифангондо,
которая произошла с 23 октября по 10 ноября 1975 г. в Анголе и стала первой совместной победой МПЛА и кубинцев.

8. «…полковник Каллэн» – настоящее имя Костас Ге-
оргиу (греч. Κώστας Γιώργιου, англ. Kostas Giorgiou; 1951 –
1976), он же «Полковник Каллэн», Colonel Callan – британский военный, капрал парашютно-десантного полка. Этнический грек-киприот. Наёмный участник гражданской войны в Анголе на стороне ФНЛА. Казнён по приговору суда в Луанде 10 июля 1976 года.
9. Савимби Жонаш – Жо́наш Малье́йру Сави́мби (порт. Jonas
Malheiro Savimbi; 3 августа 1934 – 22 февраля 2002) – ангольский политический и военный деятель, партизанский лидер, основатель повстанческого движения и политической партии УНИТА. Лидер УНИТА c 13 марта 1966 по 22 февраля 2002. Активный участник ангольской войны за независимость и гражданской войны. Кандидат в президенты Анголы на выборах 1992. Видный деятель Холодной
войны и мирового антикоммунистического движения.
10. «Нептуна день…» – Праздник Нептуна, иногда –
«День Нептуна». Водное представление. Берёт основы от тради-
ции моряков при пересечении экватора.

Translator - I. Toporov

I...
     think...
                 I...
                      like...
                              
crazily chasing concocted crushes
however hasty high hopes
earnestly entangled erstwhile enthusiasm
left languishing limp lethargic
suddenly soundless stupidly selfish
every emotion enviously expectant
an abject apology absent

purposeful pleasure purportedly posed
unearthed unhealthy ungainly uncertainties
devouring devotion disgracing dogma
an accident awaiting arrival

Leiak, omnipresent vague pneuma-dancing spirit, ductile pious water of epiphany and extraordinary example, lives on the water with his parasitic chin in the Vernarthian epigram; he is seen with his jocular back, breaking the lines of the swamps between muscles and silhouettes. Before the First station..., primitive of the three remaining nights before reaching the volcano of Patmos, its deluge begins. "

It bathes in the Davidian, Alexandrian, and Vernarthian rains. A little touched he is seen and insubordinate in the astragali that he has gained in his allegories, squeezing his chest, exactly for the good of a wonderful Hellenistic city statue of the Dyticá, where he imbibed Vernarth's putti, adhering to the hydric spheres that fell over the ceilings of the heavens that Eros himself and his crush, which struck the heart axis of Medea, totally extracted from Zefian's quiver, constricted in Borker's nanotechnological sub-mythology. From the comedy of Attica and in the superb speeches of endo-adverbial satire, he stigmatized verbal changes of creation, superimposing them on tops of excesses carried by heavy drops inside some amphorae brought from the eastern sunset, tracking happiness that arrived on the western shores, waiting letters of sigh and loneliness stretched out on the thalamus full of stretch marks. So Leiak expanded, where everyone made fun of him being a satyr by essence, but being unaware of it. Perhaps as a unitary gesture of shadows when going to dawn, before having the best light that they put in figures or pirouettes, without disgracing him as a satirical minority in the Epicurean doctrine, he is inquiring a happy life through the intelligent search of innate pleasures, the ataraxia and in apocalyptic friendships with Zefian, Borker, and Kaitelka.

Borker did not intend to heal himself of trifles at all; it will be a habit to venerate the revelations against polytheism, to then cling to an interiority that points to corroded execration from the root to the top of the fallen tree, with force blinded by the blindness of the Automaton, as far as it is concerned. By itself, of identical significance in the background; but with so-called change that he tends to totally eliminate the last trait of personification of the divine. From this dilemma, the values will be spikes in his hands, sheaves in both, and what he envisions of Hellenism will be the property of nano-technology, submitting under the lens of time dividers that have never been pieces of rest under the Duoverse-Universe., the lens will be your Iridium and the microbes that govern us will be the atomic force, to discover them. What atomistic world will there be between Borker and Leiak, if in this nanoworld; The nanometer is one-billionth of a meter ?, What will be enough to start being tiny in this great epic, which is called Vernarth intra-spaces and inter-Verthians of the universal macrocosm, which will now approach the microcosm of human consciousness, and the laboratory of Epicurean affabilities in Ataraxias decreasing the passionate intensity of the Hypothalamus, and the supra desires that can alter the mental-corporal balance, strengthening in misery that they reach said balance, and finally happiness, which is a meta-plane of Epicurean convergence that runs after the lost. Ataraxia is, therefore, tranquility, serenity, and imperturbability analogous to Vernarth's soul, reason and feelings in his dislocated world, and the hemispheres of himself that will be rationalized in their slightest longitudinal measure, in what fits and in the precarious!

Passionate laboratories were magnetized every time Leiak walked on its extension, and his hands went beyond his fingers, touching the Constellation of Aorion, to indicate that the longitudinal metric of man is measured beyond the fingers of the Duoverse, where it appears the Extra-Cosmos in the proximal of a nano-scale is a submultiple of the conferred means of the Saint John the Apostle pattern. The scientific notation will be the safeguard of the magisterial scientist exponentiated brain; 10.1 mm = 10-3., the kilometer or km, is the opposite equivalent in what submultiples of the meter are called a micrometer: 1 μm = 10-6 m. In this scale we find bacteria, which constitute the main group of microbes, hence the name of the submultiple between observation scales of the macro and micro world of this being of Holographic Lux called Leiak, having the composition between this nanoscale, and the opposite of 1 μm = 10-6 m. projected onto a bacterium, which in turn is ten times larger than a viral body. Sizing enough to balance the biosphere that will surround the Automaton Mandragoron.
Leiak's world is an outpatient virtual laboratory, as it is valid in colloquial language, adhering to measures that differ by the conception of transliteration or decimal mathematical positioning. The letters and lines have been interpreted by Leiak, they are Vernarthian Parapsychologies that oscillate gaps of mismatch of billionths of wasted knowledge, in displays of ghostly reigns and in no-man's-land. This nanoscale makes us nano-poetize themes of ultra interference of the Epicurian decree, of tranquility, serenity, and imperturbability, with the meagerness that we know of the enlightened after a thousand moons writing under the stars:
"Woman when you touched my life with the grace of your fingers, I could see how the kind nights closed my eyes, caressing the entire Universe." This is undoubtedly Epicurean Nano Poetry, but the Author is Tagore "

The exponential oscillates in the parameter of the outstanding Astronomer of the divine verb and poetic thinking, in the most intimate and dynamic Hindu techno-language. Quantum mechanics here is the debit of the iconic remnant reached, by parameters not achieved below the average intelligence, providing lost data far from collecting and storing. Tagore's logic is nano-poetry, which balances billionths that are not achieved by occupying the Corporal Dytiká (poetic sunset) and the synchronic soul, rather the material simultaneity of the fifth element of will, emotional and objective desire, condensing into matter already conferred consciousness, in gaps in fit at all times, but linking it to her divinity as intelligence never before out of date; V.G. The Mashiach is always linked to the vertebral and communicational axon of the plasma nano-particles by grasping its infinite numinosity, making this scale it's one billionth, and being within the Eras that will be the largest average of the macrocosm, in the quantum itself of the Christian Era and in other Quantum worlds.

Strictly speaking, the molecules are angels without a will, but the dispensers are the consciousness of Leiak, which transfers hybrid consciousness, for purposes of regulating and shaping the ravings of intelligence and atheistic consciousness, and for purposes of the great remnant always present and active in the emergency. Spirituality of the Mashiach-revolutionized. The by-product will be Zefian's Tetra Sagita with its ergonomic tip, opening up doubts and tracing the future of a rewritten bible in the same character and fidelity, but with the omnipresent Mashiach of a Scientific Eucharist.

Leiak walked through minefields, and in some, he saw universes come out that exploded in livid colors, among them Vernarth, who had been recovering from malaria, and who helped him create a culture composed of a great artifice of immutability, for those who are close to his Greek spirit. Overwhelming those who lack the will, clarifying where the great art galleries of the world will be, not because of their current works but because of those they will have to exhibit? From the rushing philosophical delta, germs of dominance were trickling, distinguishing properties that did not germinate under his feet. Bread and water of the hundredfold fruit of all the lesser forces that resist on the thirty and nine with fever, more than the narrow borders to be discovered, in democracies that will prosper in the hands of kind tyrants, and not in the unitary Ecumene. Vernarth did not denationalize from his grass crops, he was Hetairoi more than all the commanders of Alexander the Great because his native country never sank next to him, he only prospered in centuries where he had to rise again silenced and prostrate oblivion.

The chaos of an absence accuses a majority of sadness that greets the Celtic Gauls for the axon of the anointed cosmos of the divine autarkic world. But not in seditious wars devoid of bread and water that does not support them, nor by papyrus did nets that do not contain them either, in the spiral retransform the land of all, as a plural work done here, by the Mandragoron Áullos Kósmos, intends. The male rectors will trust their works in the widespread Greek language, called koine (common). A language that writes has its own feet to write new divisions, and ordinal paragraphs to fulfill in proskínesis or obeisances in those who have golden knees or not! They will continue to make separate book stores or libraries for Filososfia or science sub-themes that will tackle the top of Profitis Ilias. For all large cities and nations, it will only be Leiak's legacy, of having large spaces for dialogues where no one can resist his man-made preaching, holographic rain forest, and times that not even in billionths will make him melt spaces of ignorance, diverge from the juxtaposed principle of unpopulated urban schools do not deserve.

Says Leiak: “Every time it is more intense to turn the dislocated nature of man, my literary idylls are at the end of everything with his genre works. Life and it's agitated think idyllic of removing the talus, which is not swayed in my chest by the Metelmi..., but by my breath of death! "

Rip the saintly halo
From above your hallowed brow
To see how it obscured
A deep satanic vow
As through your skull are sprouted
                   Two twisted bony horns:
A rose no more disgracing
A beautiful stem of thorns

Looking up, at the man on the wall,
waiting for the day he finally falls.
Standing proudly, standing tall,
waiting for the day he finally falls.

A trial of nature verses man,
the destruction is getting out of hand.
Over reliance of the Amazon,
if we don't stop, it will soon be gone.

Continuous polluting of the atmosphere,
causing the world to live in fear.
This is what has become of all mankind,
we're turning into muted minds.

Looking up, at the man on the wall,
waiting for the day he finally falls.
Standing proudly, standing tall,
waiting for the day he finally falls.

International egos, out of control,
we need to look at the world as a whole.
The government has gained to much power,
it's time to take back what's ours.

Technology advancing far too fast,
becoming societies cast.
We're disgracing all of mankind,
preferring machine over mind.

Looking up, at the man on the wall,
waiting for the day he finally falls.
Standing proudly, standing tall,
waiting for the day he finally falls.

We are the man on the wall,
waiting for ourselves to fall.
Standing proudly, standing tall,
we will be the creators of our downfall.

In a beautiful land,

Where there is meant to be verdant plains,

Anointed with blossoming bird cherries and daisies,

Remarkably fertile and lush,

Tainted with venom stains,

Leaving her soil sterile and depleted.



Beyond the plethora of satin valleys,

Below the large mound,

Lies a lithe serpent,

Supinely resting above two boulders,

Plaguing what should be a tenderly elegant land.



Legends speak of a panacea,

In the form of a magical elixir,

Created by a majestic fairy,

Powerful enough to make the rocky terrain,

Morph into a gentle and fecund prairie.



Prayers to the Goddesses are chanted,

Yet no answers are given,

No growth has been noticed,

From the hundreds of seeds that have been planted.



The inhabitants of the land,

Grow jaded,

As the beauty of the area has faded,

So the potion of a witch is implemented,

As the words are muttered of ancient spells,

To save the land where the serpent dwells.



The rough and jagged edges begin,

To transform into softness and beautiful curves,

And it seems the land has been stripped of its sin,

Yet the Spell could not vanquish the serpent,

The acrid taste of venom lingers,

Disgracing the sacred valley.



The land's beauty returns,

Exuding an alluring aroma,

Enticing the humans to once again reside,

Within her realm,

As eye-opening conviction blazingly burns,

But no potion is artful enough,

To purge the prairie of the serpent's presence,

Nor its pride!

I fear it from an inside
My lips ~ refusal to move
Seeking fervently, shadows to conceal
   my existence; to hide
Drowning; morbid dying in the
   sorrowed soul's tears
Scavenging for my god
Digging for redemption, for salvation
Questioning my faith

I'm told, once again, to believe
That, only then, there will be a
   hope in which to receive

He calls out to me
Audible to my ears
His beckoning reaches to even my
   recesses darkest and deep

I'm washed away in a flood
Self-inflicted, torturous death
Fading
Then the whisper
'Go back to sleep'
Still, my weary mind rambles onward
Shattering into puzzle pieces
The artistic portrayal of who I
   truly am
Though, I find no one who could
   reconnect those pieces to again
    build ~ again create, a whole
So, I am broken, shattered, crumbling
   on a downward spiral

Yet again, He beckons
Calling out my very own name
"Oh Beautiful Daughter,
"I see not, your sins."

I fall to my knees
Utmost gratitude conceived
Though I remain too afraid to believe
I trust Him; words flawless to
   every form of life
It's, alone, myself I cannot face
My mirror's as shattered as my soul
Those weak, disgracing, foul steps
   I daily take
As I trudge down my chosen life
   path of misery
A path to spawn animosity, contempt,
   bitterness throughout
Victimization

And nevertheless, He follows
Offering continually His hand
The Divine Hand

I shutter at such a notion!
Oh! How I don't deserve!
My broken puzzle has cracked
   open my mask
Lies to be uncovered ~ lies of mine
Revealed by my subconscious' truths

I collapse to the earth
Piercing my body with stones
   and thorns
Pierced flesh, it bleeds
As was once shed upon a cross

Stop my feet now, please! Oh, stop me!
I'm running... running away
The light, so beautiful, so pure
I, a stain, to be cleansed; washed away

His voice, so powerful, yet gentle
   and loving
A child's perception of her father's
   tones
And now, a message He declares
   unto this mortal me
"Quit your resisting,
"Oh Beautiful Daughter of Mine
"It was for your sake I created
   the light of day
"Come now, My child
"I've spoken, and you are worthy
"Bathe yourself in the oceans of
   My grace's eternal waters"

My shattered fragments arise
Fitting together a work of art
   too undefinable to speak of
In this new found light of grace, I bawl
In new tears, I rejoice
I have felt my Maker's unconditional love; His grace
I've been possessed by His showering of love

How To Speak Poetry**

Take the word butterfly. To use this word it is not necessary to make the voice weigh less than an ounce or equip it with small dusty wings. It is not necessary to invent a sunny day or a field of daffodils. It is not necessary to be in love, or to be in love with butterflies. The word butterfly is not a real butterfly. There is the word and there is the butterfly. If you confuse these two items people have the right to laugh at you. Do not make so much of the word. Are you trying to suggest that you love butterflies more perfectly than anyone else, or really understand their nature? The word butterfly is merely data. It is not an opportunity for you to hover, soar, befriend flowers, symbolize beauty and frailty, or in any way impersonate a butterfly. Do not act out words. Never act out words. Never try to leave the floor when you talk about flying. Never close your eyes and **** your head to one side when you talk about death. Do not fix your burning eyes on me when you speak about love. If you want to impress me when you speak about love put your hand in your pocket or under your dress and play with yourself. If ambition and the hunger for applause have driven you to speak about love you should learn how to do it without disgracing yourself or the material.

What is the expression which the age demands? The age demands no expression whatever. We have seen photographs of bereaved Asian mothers. We are not interested in the agony of your fumbled organs. There is nothing you can show on your face that can match the horror of this time. Do not even try. You will only hold yourself up to the scorn of those who have felt things deeply. We have seen newsreels of humans in the extremities of pain and dislocation. Everyone knows you are eating well and are even being paid to stand up there. You are playing to people who have experienced a catastrophe. This should make you very quiet.  Speak the words, convey the data, step aside. Everyone knows you are in pain. You cannot tell the audience everything you know about love in every line of love you speak. Step aside and they will know what you know because you know it already. You have nothing to teach them. You are not more beautiful than they are. You are not wiser. Do not shout at them. Do not force a dry entry. That is bad ***. If you show the lines of your genitals, then deliver what you promise. And remember that people do not really want an acrobat in bed. What is our need? To be close to the natural man, to be close to the natural woman. Do not pretend that you are a beloved singer with a vast loyal audience which has followed the ups and downs of your life to this very moment. The bombs, flame-throwers, and all the **** have destroyed more than just the trees and villages. They have also destroyed the stage. Did you think that your profession would escape the general destruction? There is no more stage. There are no more footlights. You are among the people. Then be modest. Speak the words, convey the data, step aside. Be by yourself. Be in your own room. Do not put yourself on.

This is an interior landscape. It is inside. It is private. Respect the privacy of the material. These pieces were written in silence. The courage of the play is to speak them. The discipline of the play is not to violate them. Let the audience feel your love of privacy even though there is no privacy. Be good ******. The poem is not a slogan. It cannot advertise you. It cannot promote your reputation for sensitivity. You are not a stud. You are not a killer lady. All this junk about the gangsters of love. You are students of discipline. Do not act out the words. The words die when you act them out, they wither, and we are left with nothing but your ambition.

Speak the words with the exact precision with which you would check out a laundry list. Do not become emotional about the lace blouse. Do not get a hard-on when you say *******. Do not get all shivery just because of the towel. The sheets should not provoke a dreamy expression about the eyes. There is no need to weep into the handkerchief. The socks are not there to remind you of strange and distant voyages. It is just your laundry. It is just your clothes. Don't peep through them. Just wear them.

The poem is nothing but information. It is the Constitution of the inner country. If you declaim it and blow it up with noble intentions then you are no better than the politicians whom you despise. You are just someone waving a flag and making the cheapest kind of appeal to a kind of emotional patriotism. Think of the words as science, not as art. They are a report. You are speaking before a meeting of the Explorers' Club of the National Geographic Society. These people know all the risks of mountain climbing. They honour you by taking this for granted. If you rub their faces in it that is an insult to their hospitality. Tell them about the height of the mountain, the equipment you used, be specific about the surfaces and the time it took to scale it. Do not work the audience for gasps ans sighs. If you are worthy of gasps and sighs it will not be from your appreciation of the event but from theirs. It will be in the statistics and not the trembling of the voice or the cutting of the air with your hands. It will be in the data and the quiet organization of your presence.

Avoid the flourish. Do not be afraid to be weak. Do not be ashamed to be tired. You look good when you're tired. You look like you could go on forever. Now come into my arms. You are the image of my beauty.

When I walk I’m deep with my senses, clearly drawn to people’s alluring glances.
So lucid they think, their eyes show the interest far from extinct from my stance in this world.
I feel that I’m respectively speaking, to say so the least.
I’m not recluse or a beast always wanting to feast.
If I had to say so the least, I’m as calm as the tree with the leaf, that stays calm when the wind turns to burn, while everyone goes with the turn.
Because it’s what the tree made them learn.
But back to the point I was making while you are sitting by this tree,
looking at me with such glances pointing at stances,
blaming the cause which in you is aloft,
making you soft to pretend in this wind,
moving you and the others to part sways in the matter the wind is racing.
When simply it’s all about the peace calming transparent flow,
less transfiguring your stance in this warming sensation. . .

When I stroll, I feel deep in my senses, just life of the sound I’m within.
I feel you friend, no need to misunderstand because I’m the kind,
only of a kind, truthfully speaking since the world is ordinarily laid but so many minds sillily played.
What’s the reason to hastily be placed?
Impatiently wasting the self through calamitous wind around you in its ways,
pulled of your senses to part in its flowing admiration to help you feel its position not what the tree has been foolishly placing.
The sternness of impeccable word, just blur through the blurry frustration fostering to break wind from word communication.
But back to the sound that’s within, that plays for me again.
I say its sweet in this miserable place full of faces with eyes that stick with assumptive cases.
I can sense uneasy feeling of their spiritual mirror, lost in their glance even unheard, why did **** **** **** such lovely bird?
So you see what I’m saying, as angry ***** would be saying.
All the angry ***** this part over will be playing. . .because even words turn swiftly by the wind, gripping around the calm of your leaf.
You feel yet what I feel?
Practice with the wind, don’t amend to the blend of practicality because some want one option for you to be planted to grow all over this world as attired.
Only feeling whole after past your time being retired.
How in this sense could we live in such life time without sharing simple joys that some used to uphold,
but then life changed with a fold, all you could is forget and be sold, just like I was.
Funny story, but no worry, I’m no worry for you to worry.
One day I’ll share with you this story.
Plenty time don’t worry. . .to those who die I’m sorry, but there’s more joy in this story,
your story then the idea they abhor to make you feel this squally worry.
Although your dead and won’t hear my story, life will tell you after. . .
But of your self that I've been listening trying to feel you in what you have been missing.
It’s funny to words I have been retorting to, to explain exactly the calm of the self, when the word can never touch on such imperfection as to why the word is always leaning towards this misdirection. . .
hidden deep down in its simple complexion, when its all misdirected with the imagery that comes with projected. . .that’s why ***** get angry at my use of such satisfying word deep under their ego -blistic wants. . .
never relenting their simple misfortune of always trying at preventing the complicated feeling of but resenting what’s to them so complicated. . .
for a feeling they never awaited, stopping into churches thinking its something one day be recon-stated, but when silly as a church where they put you under at your birth, without a will to simply choose the path really most tend to loose. . .instead sticking a mat under your body as if its going to be the least your life can embody. . .and your parents so meek to realize from beginning as it it’s meant to be. . .life of being peaceful, instead disgracing you later for your aspirations. . .in any way possible manipulating your gracious. . .Even this comes as a misunderstanding because some choose to feel my words out of tune in miscomprehending the essence of my stroll through this wind. . instead resentment in the form shows up in assumptive waves with negative impression of your ease for my self I could give **** less when from you I hear your impression, since moi it don’t displease. . .but I keep on strolling with my full senses at life’s mistaken glances shadowed down on the branch caressing with pretences, in which all jump into with a **** full of stances. . . .with my outmost respect I have for everyone in any sort of the trances. . .

A hard hit
Dank ****
Flickering emotion
As a cigarette
Any other *****, any other *****
All the same
Own it.
Mucus infused spit
Struggled release of welcomed grip
**** THIS ****
**** EVERYBODY, **** EVERY BODY.
All the lies you ever told me
Every dream you ever sold me
You own me
The Devil in you stole my soul from me.
I am surrounded by lonely
Has my heart disowned me?
Or am I as phony as cheap bologna?
Hyping myself up for what is already unfolding
Disgracing my face
For meaningless embrace
Reaching out for my one and only.

A touch,
it only takes one,
my mind comes undone.
I want only what I see,
set me free,
you hear my plea.
Your hands wander,
no time to ponder.
Essential satisfaction,
enact a chain reaction
in this disgracing interaction.
I'm buried beneath.
Thoughts break.
Body ache.
I shake.
Cessation.
Sensation.
Fixation.
No one gets to see this side of you,
the only one that's tried and true.

Not death

Breathe slow

Past coil

Jealous?

We don't know

Sad as plain sight

Fake intents

Misdirection and dense

Regrets for tomorrow

Until the demon runs

Mind will be blank

Conscious without reprimand

Disgracing self

And projected shadows

Into millenium of words

That trick only inside

Gross and perfect

Figured somewhat insect

Fear of movement

Ready to read

Never to explore

A monster that is a bore

No true faces

Just stolen ink

Anger in three ports

Without the eyes to close

Ever so unsubtle

Render one cold

With love as slow as shell

Until they grow the verdure fungus

Eris

The press of
some boy’s
Levi rivets
on my hips
and liking it.
School girl poppets,
******* scraps
thrown in our faces.
A policeman
asking Eris
the colour of the
wanking man’s pants.
Fleshy pink she laughs.
Mysteries at 14.
Eris knows men
with fast cars.
Fast hands.
We fast forward
to forget most bits.
Never question
why we are taken,
we never
speak of it.
Why bother,
my mother’s drunk
with the man
whose daughter
Eris is.
Mysteries at 14.
I’m told
no alcohol.
There’s nothing
worse
than teenage girls
disgracing themselves.
Stay nice.
My father’s charcoal
drawing
on our wall
of the woman
with the
pointy *******.
She is Eris’s mother.
Double standard
mysteries at 14.

Eris is taller than me,
blocks my way
with her back
as I try to leave.
Stay she says.
Scent  of lemon
on her blonde hair,
caught up in a ponytail.
I flinch
as she flicks
it to one side,
like a stamping palomino.
Strands caught
by the butterflies
pinning
the gold studs
to her ears.
Blonde in my mouth,
lemon on my tongue,
best friend,
girlfriend crush.
She turns,
dissolute and desolate.
Eris says we’re enjoying it,
all the mysteries at 14

Why can't the rain be seen as beautiful
Like it asked to be the symbol of depression
Why does the world see it as being the dark Lord of the night
As if its dropping are toxic waste ready to burn us all away
Why must the rain be viewed as pure ugliness
As if what it has done for us mean absolutely nothing
Doesn't it mean something
It has watered the crops that feed us
Gave us hope when none existed
But instead of being praised like it should be...
It is viewed as the god of destruction just like its counterpart fire
Another understood element
Rain...they sing songs about it
Wishing it to go away
Disgracing its name
Again calling it,"destruction"
But the way I see it...
Us being humans have no right to be calling anyone destructive
We have caused more destruction than rain could ever imagine
So in my eyes...natures eyes
Rain is beautiful and it is we who are the uglies

Shame! What it is.
Unlike guilt, makes your soul wilt,
unlike guilt, shame focuses on blame!
Your experience?
Pain!
No repentance,
no contrition,
no sincere abolition,
all about condemnation!
You ask yourself,
Would you leave if you knew me,
Would you scold me?,
or Would you hold me while I shake uncontrollably?!
Shame!
A cycle of pain,
ruptures and fissures,
Grace?
There’s no space!
Instead a race to hide,
not to confide.
Keeping secrets,
keeping pain,
Being broken,
being shamed.
Disgracing your nation,
Facing temptation,
Experiencing alienation.
Cultures clashing,
teeth gnashing,
self-bashing,
Shame,
what it is!

Why can't the rain be seen as beautiful
Like it asked to be the symbol of depression
Why does the world see it as being the dark Lord of the night
As if its dropping are toxic waste ready to burn us all away
Why must the rain be viewed as pure ugliness
As if what it has done for us mean absolutely nothing
Doesn't it mean something
It has watered the crops that feed us
Gave us hope when none existed
But instead of being praised like it should be...
It is viewed as the god of destruction just like its counterpart fire
Another understood element
Rain...they sing songs about it
Wishing it to go away
Disgracing its name
Again calling it,"destruction"
But the way I see it...
Us being humans have no right to be calling anyone destructive
We have caused more destruction than rain could ever imagine
So in my eyes...natures eyes
Rain is beautiful and it is we who are the uglies

I've been conversing with people that don't know me
Contemplating about people that have no desire to know me
And fixating on people that will never be mine

Yet I keep praying,
Disgracing and degrading
Humiliating and abusing
My own soul, for people that never take the time to give me any loving, any caring.
People that are never caught appreciating but keep using what they keep breaking.

It must seem startling
Almost petrifying
Knowing the one man
Willing to sacrifice it all for you
Is two inches of his **** deep
In some pretty little town *****
Mocking the vows he made you
As he wears his sins
Like a badge of honor
****** sashes
Instagram post of them all
Blocking you from facebook
Changing passwords and hiding behind closed doors
Running from himself
More than shying away from you
Disgracing you with all 26 women
And you know them by name
Their your best friends
Colleagues and co-workers
Your 27 and still only one question lingers
For all the times he ****** you
He made love to another woman too
So how much does he love you
When I bleed when you can't cry?

by Arcassin Burnham


Like an angel forsaken and dipped in hellfire,
she was a girl of many things and many talents when the school ******
don't really expire,
she was a good liar,
she was something more electric like a live wire,
Did so many things that she wasn't proud of that a real teen wouldn't do,
girls all over school disgracing her name , like just be glad it wasn't you,
been at it since 8th grade and still ain't change in the actual,
But a nice home , good man ,two kids and a dog would be virtual,
Almost like a simulation because she thinks it won't ever happen,
remembering her last boyfriend , her was eyes were blackened,
was never a role model , she'd tell them to join the wagon,
i'll meet you at the bus stop,

As beautiful as heaven and destructive like her dad,
lived at nana's house to go to school , she was the only one she had,
and she was always sad,
because her grand daughter that she loved dearly was simply
going mad,
Had her first child with a guy that'll never leave her side,
that'll never black her eyes , that'll never make her cry,
but instead in the midst of situations he would dry her eyes,
took her to rehab and showed how to be a strong person,
He Saved her life before her life could even worsen,
I see your happy at the bus stop.

You ponder alone in darkness,
Disgracing your personal image is an uncontrollable pleasure,
Don't hurt,
Don't feel,
Cleanse your inner complection clear of unhappiness,
I'm here for you,
Lift your chin.

Let me kiss those seeping tears,
You cry when you feel happy,
A feeling new to your emotions,
Let it bleed through and stain,
Lift your chin.

Let me love you, forever,
I'll protect you from these unidentified flying emotions,
I can be your self-control,
Only letting love, happiness, and joy into our house,
Lift your chin.

I love you,
Nothing else matters,
I can be your only friend if it makes you warm on winter days,
Don't be lonely,
You have my heart, forever,
I can sing your song on rainy days,
I can tickle the tear duct for you,
Shaking loose the last few droplets for this puddle of sadness,
Lift your chin.

I'm here love,
Don't stress,
Don't tremble,
Do you hear that?
My heart pounds for your love,
A drum with a never ending metronome,
Each beat running on infinite happiness,
Lift your chin.

I'm grasping your nervous palms,
They are moist with worry,
But you're comfortable in my eyes,
You're lovely,
No one stretches this smile wider than you do,
Do you see my tears?
They contain no sorrow,
They leak for you,
Tears that speak of your beauty with every drop,
A warm sensation that disguises your goosebumps,
Somewhere you're reading my words, aren't you?
They make your head spin like a basketball on one finger,
Left your chin.

Let me in, forever,
Keep your head high, forever,
When you cry, I will be there with a kiss,
Mopping your sorrows away,
Until my dying day,
Lift that chin.

It is a great honour to serve Fatherland,
To die for Motherland is honour greater,
So that all say: “It’s necessary to live in that
Manner!”So that roths’ hundred came to funeral feast later!
But, it stands to reason,  is in dreams all this,
In practice, this is so fierce reality,
Often die at their posts soldiers,
Not in war’s day—this is terrible banality.
A  commander cynical, satisfied
Will send a letter to a soldier’s mother
That Ivanov “disgracing his uniform died,
Setting explosives to blow himself up and
It’s not the military unit’s fault farther…”
And the grief-stricken mother washing down with
Corvalol  her terrible heart attack,
Will begin to die quietly at home time this,
By the letter as by a judgement struck.
And the local policeman’ll come to her
Once to question her neighbours in time.
Her neighbours’ll say: “Perhaps, she’s not living more,
We have not heard her walk for a long time.”
The local policeman will open her
Door, the soldier’s mother seeing one day,
He’ll describe her body. Believe it or not any more
“The military unit’s right”, they say.
{21.02.2020}


БОЛЬШАЯ ЧЕСТЬ ОТЕЧЕСТВУ СЛУЖИТЬ


Большая честь Отечеству служить,
Честь бо́льшая – погибнуть за Отчизну,
Чтоб говорили все: «ТАК надо жить!»,
Чтоб сотня рот пришла на эту тризну!
Но это всё, естественно, в мечтах –
На практике – суровая реальность:
Солдаты умирают на постах!
Не в дни войны! Ужасная банальность!
Довольный и циничный командир
Пришлёт письмо для матери солдата:
Что «Иванов, позоря свой мундир…
Самоподрыв… но часть не виновата…»
И горем ошарашенная мать,
Запив сердечный приступ корвалолом,
Начнёт тихонько дома умирать,
Сражённая письмом, как приговором.
И как-то участковый к ней придёт
Для сектора жилого отработки.
Соседи скажут: «Видно не живёт –
Давно её не слышали походки!»
И участковый вскроет сразу дверь.
Увидев тело матери солдата,
Опишет труп. И верь или не верь,
Но говорят, что «часть не виновата»…
{21.02.2020}

Translator - I. Toporov

This will be the only poem here that I do not first write in my notebook.
Because it is not meant for me, it is meant for you,
this community.
A community where writers dare to write,
and judgement is not cast, no.
Where everyone knows and understands that the words are just that --
our own, and just words,
and that disagreeing, shamefully disgracing, and harming another
would only harm the community.
A community with hearts of gold and understanding in the darkest
of all of our  times.
We know that when we are feeling worst, or better,
our best,
we can spill ourselves onto paper, and then this screen,
or skip the paper (but I will only this once!),
and we will be welcomed with open arms
to those that understand
on the fundamental level what it is to love and to lose,
and to those that will not cast their own bias toward us.
And although I only post infrequently,
and love and share others' poetry even less infrequently
(I always and will always feel guilty about my lack
of contribution to this beautiful place),
I know that this is the place that has literally,
yes, literally,
the best people around.
Even though I haven't been around much,
I've never been met with a word that was less than kind,
and I think that the world should strive to be like you,
each and every one of you,
this community.

My cute
Adorable
Naive Saint
I love you
I really do
But I'm a
Crude
Nasty Demon
I could never bring myself
Or let you
Get involved with me
I'm *****
You're pure
I have the vocabulary of a sailor
You speak oh so modestly
I think badly of people easy
You thing everyone's good no matter what
While I vent, *****, and moan
You blame yourself and think you need the change
As quick I am to condem
You are forgiving
You are everything I once was
Always kind
Forever forgiving
Naively sweet
Adorably innocent
Things I never be again
Not after all I have seen
And done
I fear that if I were to touch you
You would slowly become stained
Like me
I can't do that to you
You're too special
I can't
I won't
I know that if you knew how I think
You'd take pity on me
You'd let me take advantage of your kindness
And not think anything of it
It's not fair of me
But I love you
It's not right
But I crave you
Your laugh
Your voice
Your sweet words
Your kind heart
Just you
I haven't fallen this hard for someone in so long
Not since the one who made me this demon
I had all but forgotten what it felt like to love
To feel giddy at the mention of a name
To feel nervous at the sight of a face
To feel giggly at the sound of a voice
You saved me
Saved me from an unfeeling numbness
I thank you for giving me those feelings back
My thanks will be not acting on them
I feel that if I were to act on them
Then I would be a disgracing them
And you
I can't
I won't
***** you
I couldn't do that
Not to you
My naive Saint

My heart literally tears in two when someone tells me "Writing is boring, i wish it didn't exist, it doesn't benefit a person in any way." It's like a part of me passes away at the sound of those words and all I can think is "how can someone think so negatively about something so beautiful?" I am so in love with writing the thought of anyone disgracing it is enough to make me cry.

Living in this world, that is filled with doubts,
Others are silent, but I had to shout,
Release all my thoughts that I think of you, whether their lies, or maybe true,
Walking on the street feeling so ashamed, people are talking,
Disgracing my name, don't feel to eat, or even drink,
All I can do, is sit, cry and think,
This is just a bad phase of life I know, evil people in my face they show, don't want to give up everything I need, although; the talking’s on my mind it feeds,
Feeling very sad, self esteem so low, why am I always sad, no one knows

Who am I? Well isn’t that the silliest question to ask someone something so personal like that! However, it doesn’t mean you’ll get results. Want to know why…? If you do…then I’ll let my true self invite you straight past the conscious mind that is always “wilting” at the presence (besides my own) that gives it such fear! The true self is feeling the urge to make it’s move. Now we are passing by the ending borders of whatever makes up the outskirts of the conscious mind. What I’d like to call the “caressing at the edge of one’s own consciousness”! Now the true self is feeling they need to do something quicker! Or else your very invitation would become too quick (not too judge roughly). And not meet up too the standards of what my true self truly wants from you before we essentially meet (sooner rather than later). That’s when the outskirts immediately became blackened! As if something simply just “***** out” the light keeping the waking state forever lit so regular information could be normally processed by your very thoughts. But I think we ALL know better than to trust something too lightly (this time around). Whatever just happened, had never happened before. Except when it always did, apparently. Just not in a perceiving (still “consciously” lit sort of way) when your still able to see everything on through. But then…whatever was the “blackening of a lit focus” all about then…? It wasn’t… Well not literally, anyways. That blackening was just my conscious mind being removed from standard reality altogether. And the caressing at the edge of one’s own consciousness was actually the most literal physical touch from something I don’t ever want to engage with! But that doesn’t mean it was my true self. That’s why we simply continue on towards one’s very subconscious (which I think is a complete sham)! A fake meant to lure you into a very “disembodied” atmosphere! A mere pre-setup distortion meant to confuse everyone who simply wanted to know simply about their very general make-up. You latch onto it, and in the (“spur of the moment”) you become executed from your very visual sights altogether. Seeing something completely in a very black smudge sort of way. It’s unmistakable! You are perceiving everything (and yourself) as this very black smudging representation. It’s ghastly! But it’s working it’s very magic! Because it’s real (nonetheless). Real as anything real can get! As your own already perceiving touch that which can’t hope to match up to this one. And yet, this is from the literal inside out of who and what we truthfully are, essentially. In this state, you start to lose ALL sense of yourself one piece at a time. Slowly forgetting you even came here in the first place. That’s when you then suddenly feel this non-physical tug. A tug that couldn’t have been real. When it’s just your own mere mental projection meant to feel your bodies limits back upon the surface trying to tether it’s pull on you back to that very surface. Your body was trying to enact an official “recall”! Judgment that was meant to be just that…pure “judgement”! Judgment that will slowly eat you up, if you aren’t so lucky as to continue going deep within yourself…forevermore! That can’t ever happen! Which is why my body is desperately now trying to reel me back in too safety. Trying to pull me back to standard reality where sense was meant to hold on tightly too everything you held dear! Especially also saving the one you brought with you. The invitation was merely becoming stepped on! Spit on! Disgracing a true self’s audience…was like upsetting your soul’s very effort’s at trying to desperately re-establish the connection with both your mind and body. When your body was able to reel you in, you will feel the very lightest of a single tug (besides whatever else was tugging on me). The tug again (that was not my bodies “tethering” effort), was that of a non-physical nature. Made to easily trick and silence ALL your efforts in one globalized realization. A globalized realization that was false at first. Then once again remained it’s inviting tone to say the least. I simply didn’t distrust myself of whatever was down there would let me flow freely. Because whatever was pulling me back towards the surface, was the (“safe harbor of trust”) itself. Something I was always used to. Not the uncharted territory that myself was never used to…but (nevertheless) is attached too ALL of us! I was still being pulled backward, whilst the lightly non-physical tug that seemed eerily non-existent. Impossibly so! All I see when looking at the thing grabbing onto me, was that of a very translucent sight of a glossy glow made to be the colour of slight gray. Whilst the darkness itself enveloping it slowly distorted any other colour for me to simply recognize. Because that’s all I saw from beyond the shadows. More blanketing darkness that seemed to be a face more then just some regular representation of a normal pitch-black void! (I didn’t see a face necessarily…as I “impossibly so” could certainly sense one!) That’s when I was slowly (but surely) seeing the quickly enveloping darkness being pulled away from itself. But that was only but a small illusion among the different representations of distortions that had to do with being ****** through and inward throughout different conscious realms and their (seemingly) scary states collapsing me one piece at a time. (Not to mention whatever it was doing to my friend.) I didn’t understand it until afterward, nor was I even aware of the continuous strain that seemed to go on for eternity! I was losing myself one piece at a time. But that doesn’t mean I was losing my intelligence in my very senses not to know the difference. Especially “conscious wise”. When I came back to my senses…it had felt like everything was that of a complete blur…! However, there I was, completely sitting there in class on another regular day of school. Except this time, there was a friend of mine that reminded me fully of what essentially just happened. And then saying they were scared for their very life! Simply perceiving them as if they were still my bodies entire representation reeling me back into the light, to “jump-start” my consciousness once again! (As if hinting this has happened to me on “more than one occasion”!) Because it seems that when I came back, my entire system was still in the process of essentially “rebooting”! I did after all reportedly lost pieces of myself, that were still (slowly but surely) reassembling itself. As they weren’t entirely “ripped or stripped” only to be forever lost in that seemingly eternal darkness. FOREVER! Yes and no! They were merely misplaced (more than anything else). Thrown off into the background somewhere, only to be “lashed” for their very representations, openly. Somewhere entirely behind the scenes where I had no right to go. (Probably because I needed to fulfill the necessary wishes of my true self’s invitation…likewise with a friend, this time around…) When all the sudden my friend started speaking to me (as if they simply were trying to snap me out of my supposed “shocked spell” I still was apparently in)! Then before I knew it… They were simply running away from me (as they always reportedly seemed to do.) Wailing with both hands covering their very eyes as if they were suddenly crying! (I was flabbergasted!) Then I simply opened my mouth just a crack, and said one thing… ******! I messed up...again!

Dear Diary,
Today I remember I exist.
Isn’t it funny that I usually forget until I am about to go to sleep.

I made myself a cup of tea, and witnessed the holy wisps of ephemerality returning to the world of ambiguity.

Does it always do that?

You probably think I’m going to express my inner thoughts about how beautiful life is, or better yet, lament the incessant and persistent struggle of pain, but nevertheless find solace in some transcendent nothingness.

Maybe.

I mean, how many poets and philosophers does it take to repeat the sacred mantra –
I am That.

Not me, I am no poet. No philosopher.
No lover of the unloved.
No embracer of the unwanted.

Right now I have no plans.
I am slowly sipping green tea, transitioning between talking to you,
a niggun beckoning me to go out on a search for lost goats on Judean Hills,
and finding childish joy from vanishing smoke.

This may be my greatest poem yet. A true ode to the ineffable.

The interesting thing about remembering is that you totally forget what you were doing before you started remembering.
I wonder what I forgot this time.

I dreamt last night that my Zeidy shouted at me for disgracing the family.

Pain. Unreal. Irrelevant.

If this how Job felt when he remembered he existed?

You were a bright star
In the darkest sky
You were the red tulip
Among the garden's flowers
Every society or circle
Was proud to have you
It was not a surprise
Many were envious of you
They told lies and gossips
In every chance they had
They finally could succeed
In disgracing you anyway
All those liars and gossips
They were in my favour
I could prove myself as
The only honest lover
All other lovers of you
Judged by ears and eyes
I, in contrast to them
Used just my heart's eye
Ears and eyes on the head
Could sometimes be deceived
But who can see and hear
By heart, never gets lost

Entertain the,
silly idea,
that they’re
watching you.

Not the people,
but the ideas.
How they dance,
how they laugh,

around your shrinking skull.
A skull, your comrade,
that blissfully goads you,
to fight them all.

Unaware, you have already begun.
You have started disgracing yourself.
You, bombastic and terribly wise,
find yourself weak, and ‘facetious.’

You can kid the brilliantly obvious idea
that structures are supposed to die.
Of course, people must die, too.
They, are the ones belittling you.

Taking away your identity, punishment is near.
Shamed by your guilt, losing seems apprehensive.
For, either way, you will die gracefully,
as concepts fail to understand, your ideas.

They, are the ones who must suffer death.
One filled with, not suffering, but just what?
It must be their destiny, to drown in dirt.
These things, belong to the ground, silly me.

Pour yourself, a dream.
Scour all who remain.
Enjoy watching them die,
even though it’s destiny.

You were a bright star
In the darkest sky
You were the red tulip
Among the garden's flowers
Every society or circle
Was proud to have you
It was not a surprise
Many were envious of you
They told lies and gossips
In every chance they had
They finally could succeed
In disgracing you anyway
All those liars and gossips
They were in my favour
I could prove myself as
The only honest lover
All other lovers of you
Judged by ears and eyes
I, in contrast to them
Used just my heart's eye
Ears and eyes on the head
Could sometimes be deceived
But who can see and hear
By heart, never gets lost

Lying empty  

In this pile of rocks

The soul

Pounds up the rocks,

Not yet disgracing

The sun’s embrace,

Shortly preceding  

the downbeat of Life.



What distance is

Drawn

From boiling blood?

Whose verdict

Made me

To spill

And to stain

The victim’s grasp?