"disconnects" poems
You are my weakness...
You are the weakness that disconnects my heart from my mind
You throw doubt in my face but I ignore it
You tell me lies, but I believe them.
Every word you say is magic to my ears,
Even when it seems to good to be true.
You are my downfall.
The downfall that I know may break my heart,
But I'm willing to see it through.
You are the weakness that makes me doubt my own intuition.
How did I allow you to gain so much control over my mind?
What did you do to me?
Why are you my weakness?
Why do I believe you so much when your actions tell me different?
All the answers are right in my face
Why do i choose to blind myself from your lies?
......because you are my weakness,
You are the weakness that disconnects my heart from my mind.
Apr 7, 2014
Apr 7, 2014 at 10:49 PM UTC
Your head on my chest:
thumping hare and cerebral mess,
the electricity and disconnects
drove my rhythms out of breath.
I didn't know that this was you:
a tantalizing wit in lieu
of the neurological faculty to
feel my chest pounding for you.
You are a palpable glitch,
with a brute heart and incisive wit:
my form deflated under it,
I gasp, writhe, and then submit.
My eager sentiment waits for the sound
of your breath catching then and now
and I think that you'll come around
when you grasp at me and moan aloud.
But you are steadily in place,
I, silly hare running a race, breathless face
your backward truth, the callous fate,
the need you can't reciprocate.
Apr 14, 2012
Apr 14, 2012 at 6:15 AM UTC
Your words secretly lure me into your heart,
an art to restart,
my life from your point of view.
The tears of my past evaporate,
to create,
a life where you set me straight,
as my heart slowly inflates, as I fall in love.
I hold on tight,
slightly fright,
but your smile excites me letting me know it will be alright.
Explaining to myself that it won’t be perfect,
you have this effect,
that disconnects,
my brain from my heart,
as my heart takes over the whole aspect of love.
You,
sweet with a high irritability,
with the agility to catch me before I shatter on the ground.
My fragility,
quickly erupts as your arms curve around my flexibility,
telling me I have found, the one.
But even through the storms,
my soul reforms,
to make me a better person,
not only for me but for you.
As it transforms,
it informs us,
that our relationship is something out of the ordinary,
that we have worked hard to pursue.
Oct 29, 2012
Oct 29, 2012 at 5:02 PM UTC
A child sits crouched behind a wooden fence separating him from the abuses of his home. The winter night in the northern hills chill his breath as well as his heart. He doubts that he will survive the night ahead, but what he doubts most is that you will stay with him. A sad and weak heart is born this night.
Hidden from the world, he disconnects and tries to forget who he is. Though the child's tears and reflection of memories cause him to choke, and the screams from his broken home return him to reality.
He asks himself "what can I do?"
All he knows is to direct the sadness and anger inward for he has been powerless in the passage of life. Though an unknown strength moves him forward from that night to experience the next day. Liberation is one day closer.
He asks himself "is this the day?"
He knows it is not.
Days will go by and nothing will change. Not till the day courage is restored back into him will he be able to take up arms for a better life. He does not give up and he strives on for his mother and siblings.
It is an ongoing battle, but he will lose himself in the quest for change. The memories harbor a distorted child with confusion and resentment. As I said a sad and weak heart is born this night. He forever becomes a shadow of his former self.
Nov 3, 2012
Nov 3, 2012 at 6:43 PM UTC
Life as a whole
Is
An integral yoga
In some phases
It disconnects
to Divine
Sometimes it
Connects to
The Divine
Mar 23, 2016
Mar 23, 2016 at 10:58 AM UTC
If only sleeping didn’t bring out the demons in me
Dark and darker entities popping stopping staring at me for what seems like eternity maybe higher than that maybe in my mind no reality of me living where I am supposed to be.
I see eyes that’s always the beginning they take me inside I overthink the circumstance where I’m the pupil but I’m always sacrificing myself to be the victim.
Flashbacks possibilities deja vus of me disconnections disconnects its blocks of memories.
Stagnant thinking it’s the brinking of uncertainties and the insomniac tendencies left beneath me by my depressive states I question its beginnings.
Where the pain lies in my side every time I wanna die and think back to why it confuses me.
Waking up buried in ***** dust though sometimes sparkly is always as terrifying as the last time.
Even when you get out you’re never truly free in such a dark city.
Let’s try howling like our pets tried when our neighbors died when I wake up I hear her scream.
No clocks ticking it’s just the doorbell ringing and the death chimes on and on.
We’re tearing through the jungle book of matrix look a green computer screen but it’s all black and brown they throw some color red in it.
But it just blurs and blurs and you’re not sure, you just let yourself fade into the chaotic white buzz instead of letting yourself looking at the bigger picture.
It’s on a ladder it’s so confusing every rail means something monkey bars leading seemingly nowhere that’s where the blur starts that’s where my heart dies that’s where I go blind.
Entities blurring creation forget your dreams why have we forgotten where we’ve come from
Jul 20, 2018
Jul 20, 2018 at 4:41 PM UTC
I'm thinking and guessing
What if the things that are stressing
Me out
Are just problems I've made myself up?
I'm looking for a place to belong,
But what if I have this need as long
As I do not embrace that I'm different from others?
Or am I the one who disconnects and becomes another?
What is belonging?
Is it worth ignoring
Things you don't like,
That you don't feel understood or alike?
They say everything starts within,
Is it something I haven't given
Myself yet,
Or should I keep searching for it?
Dec 15, 2021
Dec 15, 2021 at 6:30 PM UTC
find friends
someone sent you a friend request
look, some people you might know
nudges to connect
the more the merrier
spend more time looking at screens
immerse yourself in technology
who needs real life?
hey, you need a new phone
it's brand new
it's brand name
it's calling for you, my dear
Jun 7, 2013
Jun 7, 2013 at 1:23 AM UTC
I glimpse her profile
Off the glare
Of the overhead
Transparent
Cloaked by lank,
Swinging hair
Eyes curtained
And a negative space of
Existence
Round her chair.
Forgotten
Neglected
By the rowdy, stinging noise
Peers whose vibrant adolescent mouths blare
Out one-note identities
She is there and
Then she’s gone
And my mind
Disconnects
Mid-lecture
Squinting into the shadowed corner
Looking for my grade-8 self.
Sep 13, 2009
Sep 13, 2009 at 7:39 PM UTC
I try to please you,
But we'll never have that.
You say listen, but I can't.
My ears bleed deafness,
From the screams in my head at night.
My head pounds so hard,
Feels like my neck disconnects my spine.
My voice soft and horse,
From Pleading for mercy,
You just do not listen,
My opinion,
So empty.
Jun 25, 2014
Jun 25, 2014 at 10:18 AM UTC
I want to breathe you in
Feel your skin upon mine
In
Simplistic satisfaction
I want to hear your heartbeat
And feel your hot breath
On the back
Of my neck as I fall
Asleep
I want to live in the afterglow of nothing
Of Pure happiness
And lazy content
I want to see your smile
At every stage
And have your laugh on repeat
Next to me
I want to see your face
At two in the morning
As you let your dreams
Take you away
And I want to know
That I am part of them
I want you to let down your
Iron-clad
Walls
And let me in
I want to be
So very selfish
I want to know your
Memories and
Pain and
Triumphs and
Falls and
Every little thing that can make
You smile
I want to record every second
I spend with you
To watch again
When we are apart
I want to see you grow
To see the sun bathing your
Skin
And it's warm, sandy texture
To be pressed against mine
I want to soar with you
Over all of the hate
And misery
And corruption
In the world
"I can take on the world with
One hand
So long as you
Hold the other"
I want to love you
In the childish
Pure
Fresh and simple
Sense of the world
I want to explore you
And everything
That you are built from
I want to know every
Twist
And turn
That makes up your soul
I want to be
So very selfish
I want to brace you to
The storms
And inevitable pain
You will face
I want to kiss away every tear
And memorize every contour
Of your face
I want to laugh with you
I want to laugh for you
Because of you
I want to invite you into my world
And my heart
I want to share with you
Everything that can be shared
I want to feel your muscles
Ripple and contract
Underneath me
As your mind disconnects
From this world
I want to discover with you
Every part of yourself
You haven't yet explored
I want our breath to mingle
In and ever-present
Greeting
Of hello
And "I love you"
With you I want to reach the end of
The rainbow
Share in disappointment
And bliss
Misery and
Ecstasy
I want to hear you call my name
Everyday
So I won't be forgotten
I want to watch you
Break apart
And lose your way
And
I want
To be there
To help you Re
Discover Yourself
I want to hold you in my
Arms
And run my hands all
Across you
I want to be
So very selfish
I want to give you back rubs
When you've had a
Stressful day
I want to get lost with you
I want to explore with you
I want to ignore the world
With you
I want to watch the
Sunset'~'Moonrise'~'Moonset'~'Sunrise
With you huddled by me
I want to know everything that
Bothers you
Everything that makes you angry
Everything that makes you cry out
In anguish
Or defeat
I want to share a lazy morning
Cup of tea
Or slice of toast
With you
I want to face the darkness
So long as
Your eyes will guide me
I want to sit on a dirt road
In the middle of nowhere
Curled tight against you
Under a blanket
And watch a campfire burn out
And the stars replace the flames
As our light source
But being with you makes me
Shine so very bright
Anyways
I want to be
So very selfish
And have you by my side
Nov 4, 2010
Nov 4, 2010 at 6:38 PM UTC
The Devil
makes you go hungry
and he fills you with greed.
The Devil whispers in your ears
until they both bleed.
The Devil
is the one that makes
you want to throttle your bird,
you can find the Devil at the
bottom of a bottle I've heard.
The Devil
is to blame, for your pain and your loss,
he fills you with rage,
and the Devil is your boss,
when you work like a slave for
minimum wage.
The Devil
fills your glasses
and he empty's your cup,
That dark lord will make you
commit benifit fraud,
and he is the one,
who grasses you up.
The Devil
makes you stray,
with no regard,
for what your doing
to anothers life,
and while your away,
the Devil's in your house
giving it hard, to your wife.
The Devil
makes you bold
and he does fill you with fear,
the Devil turnes the young old
and can turn a strait man queer.
The Devil
took your daughter,
and turned her into
a wrinkled old hag.
Round our way, a piece
of the Devil is bought for,
ten pound a bag.
The Devil
never stays at home
and never will he rest.
The Devil is the one who
gives you a loan,
and charges double interest.
The Devil
is the one who the police pursue
he is the one that they do chase,
unless the one on the run
happens to be you,
then dressed in blue,
the Devil you will face.
The Devil,
when the loneliness
can't be taken anymore,
he comes and disconnects your phone.
Need time on your own,
then the Devils banging on your door
and he just wont, leave you alone.
The Devil
resides, in your ex's eyes,
he made them say those words
that were not true.
And the Devil's already got his claws
into the next one, to tell you lies
and get thier filthy paws on you.
The Devil
makes you repeat what you've heard,
he makes your lips looser,
and next time someone's slandering you,
maybe its because they've had a word,
with Lucifer.
Yea the Devil is everwhere
but there is a way to get him of your case,
and tell him you'll see him later.
Grab that Devil by the horns,
look him in the face,
and tell him you belong, to the creator.
Jan 23, 2018
Jan 23, 2018 at 6:58 AM UTC
Stretched skies and vast spaces
Erase my name from society,
And mosaics, trigonometry, and fractals beneath
At my feet in time become simple and empty.
So with distance, their powers are diminished,
Finishing off the last busy thoughts to my name.
And the explicitly raw material world disconnects
objects of connection to my world and within this plane.
Shut off from the rest of the world, time wasting,
Tasting the distinct flavor of being in time out,
Awaiting a landing that may or may not be homebound,
Undrowned, within the stream of consciousness’ drought
Sep 24, 2018
Sep 24, 2018 at 2:43 AM UTC
It is incredibly fragile.
More like a web of hair winding through the city
Than a spider’s web that bounces back.
Electric current run through my veins; support me.
More moved to soak in the sun than taste the flow of a water-dam or take in the scent of a coal-burner.
Knock it down,
Down and out with the lights they go black.
They cannot see, cannot search.
Their voices throw complaints at this power-gone-out,
But I laugh.
Reading with the light of the still-rising sun I smile behind the safety of my book.
I do not need to be recharged,
I’ve got the power of the sun to bring me to stand.
They’ve got themselves depending on breakable things,
Leaning on a dry branch as if it would hold them up as long as they need,
Don’t know that a dry thing will snap if you push it too much.
How easy it would be to bring down a place like this,
All strung together, their failing crutch.
Must be in sync.
Must be connected.
But don’t they know?
Connection disconnects when a sacrificial tree topples and their circuit ceases to exist.
Their power cannot reach their devices and their shoulders fall.
Does anyone have a generator to bring them back to life?
And why won’t they regenerate when the lines are cut?
Come back to life,
Find your power in the sun.
Sep 23, 2013
Sep 23, 2013 at 7:26 PM UTC
she wakes to an empty bed
he's left in the early morning
to work, she shivers with regret
He calls at 9am and they exchange
pleasantries. He sighs as the phone
disconnects while she hangs up
hesitantly. Was there more to be said?
He sits in a morose world on the
internet in the afternoons where
he waits for her to come home from
work. He's all alone with his memories
and he dreams of scenarios that
might possibly become reality
if he can convince her that he's
sincere. But shes not there...
Evening meals are a lesson in silence
in the awkwardness of masticating
images that could be dreams or
nightmares, she doesn't care, he
is there...
********** in the dark, in stealth
making sure the rustle of clothing
leaving the body is no indication
of an invitation they awkwardly
brush against each other, creating
friction, gauging reaction, not really
ever wanting to engage in carnality
just basically giving each other
the time of day and the illusion
of Love and a Yes please but
No thanks, not tonight
just another day...
The coffee is cold as it sits acting
like a looking glass for a stare
deep inside the darkness might
be someone who cares but over
the breakfast table on a weekend
morning, the divide is yawning
and there is a weakness to the
futilely uttered
"Good Morning"
Mar 18, 2012
Mar 18, 2012 at 1:49 AM UTC
Looking at the sky
One late evening
Limitless, vast. So vast!
Echoes of birds retiring.
Water from eons of rebirth
Splashing on the weary summer dock.
Eyes roam
Restless twitching
I pace, going nowhere.
Aching in my sweat
My dog wonders, leaves disgusted.
Caffeine disconnects me even further
My focus is fleeting
Looking up, looking down
I'm a lost ant looking for my queue
Frantic, so much to do
One more thread snapping
My head is spinning
There's so much *******
Noise!
Then, you call.
"Hey, wassup?"
I'm melting like ice cream.
Peanut butter and jelly.
Legs propped on the porch
The lake looks nice.
Smiling with you
One rhythm found in your name
Filling the sky. So vast!
Coast to coast
Such a small Universe.
That's what you do to me.
******* amazing, huh?
Jun 12, 2010
Jun 12, 2010 at 7:38 AM UTC
the dormant sound when breath is all but gone
cranial infarction electrical spark disconnects around
a bad analogy, and, I don't mean to spoil the fantasy
but,
corpuscle dystrophy rots my bulbous anatomy
'tween me ears swelled
synonymy or antonymy
like psychology through buzzy eyes
often,
brings a symphony of cries,
I apologize!
Jul 7, 2014
Jul 7, 2014 at 10:43 PM UTC
Sometimes when I’m sad,
The solution is easy;
I’ll just lather on lipstick
Or put The Beatles on repeat.
A long drive to clear my head,
A good book to ease my mind,
As it turns out contentment
Isn’t always hard to find.
But sometimes when I’m sad,
The solution seems shaded.
I can’t get thoughts together
And my rationale is jaded.
Then suddenly I’m sinking
With a truck on my chest,
In the middle of the night
When my mind disconnects.
The most frightening part
Of the nights I spend awake
In a panic, is that they start
As the sadness I can take.
So had I put that album on
Or gone to drive when I got off,
Maybe I’d have slept tonight
Instead of peeling myself up off
The kitchen floor at five am,
And showering the black out
From underneath my eyes
And dragging myself throughout
The coming day like it was nothing.
I’m an idiot to treat these ordeals like they’re nothing.
Though I have no idea at all how to stop them,
In reality they are very much something.
Jan 31, 2014
Jan 31, 2014 at 9:02 PM UTC
A nightmare wakes me from my bed
While a cyclone is spinning in my head
My mind replays everything I've done
Yes, my mind replays everything I've said
My conscience disconnects from my own person
Turns on me, and scolds me with disapproving eyes
"Look at what you've done, you're nothing"
I can't stand the way it loves to criticize
It never takes a break, it wont leave me alone
It wont stop following me everywhere I go
It keeps screaming loudly despite how loud i shout
I think its time to blow my ******* brains out...
Feb 10, 2014
Feb 10, 2014 at 6:50 PM UTC
and now we are here
starring at each other from across a table
a healthy divide between who I am
and everything you thought I should be
all the idealistic pictures you used to paint of the pronoun you exalted as the fantom:
'we'
all the messes we made and the even messier nights are on the table too,
I didn't forget one word.
and I know you didn't either.
and I might be sorry for talking **** and trashing the way you seemed to adopt every part of me
I might be sorry for making you cry that night I pulled away because I was breaking and you couldn't see outside of your own skin long enough to realize what your use of the weight of your skull and who's shoulder you carelessly used to prop it up for no reason at all was doing to me
what it did to me
I know what I did to you, just because I did something for me
I listened to you cry from the bunk bed below alone and tired in your forand now we are here
starring at each other from across a table
a healthy divide between who I am
and everything you thought I should be
all the idealistic pictures we used to paint of the plural pronoun you exalted as the fantom 'we'
all the messes we made and the even messier nights are on the table too
I didn't forget one word
and I know you didn't either
and I might be sorry for talking **** and trashing the way you seemed to adopt every part of me
I might be sorry for making you cry that night I pulled away because I was breaking and you couldn't see outside your own skin long enough to realize what your use of the weight of your skull and who's shoulder you carelessly used to prop it up for no reason at all was doing to me,
what it did to me
I know what I did to you just because I did something for me I listened to you cry from the bunk bed below alone and tired of trying to understand my ever changing disposition
And I too, was tired.
I was tired of you trying to keep me warm
I felt like **** but it ended up okay because you returned the favor two months later at my 18th birthday party
only I had a shoulder to cry on
and I should have seen it then but I didn't forgive you all those times I could have sworn I did
on my knees in the sanctuary begging a higher power to take the anger from me
I swore I never wanted to hate you but **** it maybe I did
fingers crossed dressed all white at the funeral
I always savored your spirals
but I'm moving on from that
and after three good god **** years of on and off behavioral tendencies
reevaluations and disconnects and fear of all that you saw in me
I'm not afraid anymore to say that there isn't any 'we'
at least not in the way you said it would be
and I don't want to pretend that I'm heartbroken over it
though I used to loose sleep at night
I don't want to pretend like there's still something here
moving on finally feels right
as we ******** over a couple cups of coffee I can see clearly that we are not the same and that we will never be
but you just keep on talking about your job and about the road trip that we'll never take and how good it feels for everything to be 'okay'
back in the old cycle of recycling the same five conversation topics trying to grasp at a singular old flame
a spark of the easy days
but all I can think about is how I've changed
I'm not the same
and the divide is clear
but here we are anyway.
Apr 19, 2016
Apr 19, 2016 at 11:04 AM UTC
Wings set adrift for a tomorrow that worries
for itself.
Wind's plaything whose opulence restores all
retiring worlds.
As if thought perfected down to its wire connects
and disconnects freely the Whole.
Pointedly that Whole knows of itself, and as yet to
know of itself--that lapse that furthers vision in a
flash.
By all soothing shadows that swim hardboiled things...
resigned amongst the transit of other things,
partaking thereby becoming...momentarily.
The welcome home of thing unto itself whose shadowy
screen blew about a holy commune, bows now to its
place to know of it, as an angelic head superseding
gravity.
By blood geared below the surface lapping feverishly...
till a luminosity assays flesh.
Strange the way, The Way is lit...in an instant a world
forgoes itself without changing its heading.
Lone and left to, what's lone and left to...for what
profits an eternity but that which must attain it.
Oct 21, 2014
Oct 21, 2014 at 1:19 PM UTC
The network that makes you work to enrich owners
It can allow you create personal space too large to fill
It ***** time and you n'ere know it
Keeping your fingers busy and eyes fixed
Feasting on the newest and reviewing the oldest
Suggesting closeness to them that live miles away
Keeping you worlds away from them around you
Smiling, crying, angry and depressed for the unknown
Caring less, annoyed by and disregarding kin to be popular to the world unknown
This network illuminates and misleads, connects and disconnects
Builds the world away and destroys the one here
It sells much folly and offers little wisdom
It is a world outside our world
Very social yet asocial
Jun 13, 2016
Jun 13, 2016 at 7:12 AM UTC