"determinations" poems
We sit beneath the mango tree
You say, “I’ve got to go one day, you see…”
I nod and smile for that’s far away…
And I know deep down you really want to stay
So we talk and learn about our lives
Blaze right past all the normal lies
I say, “I think I’m gonna miss you some…”
You laugh and say, “God, you’re young.”
If I’d known then how this was going to go
There were more things I would have let you know
Like that time we sat under the mango tree
And my heart stopped when you first kissed me...
While you were packing up your little home
I was sitting, waiting by the phone
Wondering where I’d gone so wrong
Wishing your determinations weren’t so strong…
The weeks crawl by and you don’t call
I take the frustration out on my bedroom wall
We both knew that this had to end
But for that short time it was awfully nice to pretend
So we meet under the mango tree
I stare at you, and you stare back at me
You say, “You knew I had to go one day.”
I mutter back, “Then I guess there’s nothing more to say.”
Then like a tragedy I left you there
Unable to hold your penetrating stare
There were more things that we both should’ve said
But it seems we took the easy road instead
The road whose paths would never have to cross
So we’d never have to think about what we have lost
But sometimes I still pass that mango tree
And remember how you used to look at me,
Smile about those shining, sapphire eyes,
Marvel at the tree’s growing size,
Laugh about the brief time we shared
And pack away the memories with care
Oct 6, 2011
Oct 6, 2011 at 8:24 PM UTC
It is difficult to be a man,
For I am not a typical one.
It is hard for me to go on,
There’s a secret that pulls me.
I loathe when my memories strike,
They hit emotionally with might.
I struggle so much to survive,
In a world so deaf towards my cries.
I look at a He and my heart convulses,
For I recall a He who gave me kisses.
I was young, forced and naïve,
I fought but He was much stronger.
Society might tell that I’m gay,
For I let a man violated me in a way.
But I’m not a ***** and I’m sure,
I play a role for which others envy.
When I was a teen I met her,
I admired her even if she’s older.
I was then shy and very timid,
With mental and emotional scars.
I thought of her as a dear friend,
Then she turned to be my worst fiend.
One instance she forced herself on me,
And used things that hurt me so.
A girl’s tactics differ from the stronger ***
Tears she used first and blackmail next.
She was cunning, sly and very clever,
She stole my pride and my dignity.
My fears now mixed with anger,
My determinations got bolder.
I still cry and sometimes get lonely,
Like any other victim I want to fight.
I can not shout to the whole nations,
For societies will scorn at my declamation.
Both sexes forgot that I have feelings too,
I am also made of flesh, bones and spirit.
I am not proud of what I become,
Within me clouding reasons try to calm.
My desire is to win this battle to the end,
I am capable of vulnerability like any human.
But where does my right begin?
This universe has compassion for women.
The likes of me are expected to be steel made,
Yet I have feelings too for I am just a man.
Oct 30, 2015
Oct 30, 2015 at 9:42 PM UTC
I'd never cared for flowers
Symbols of affection that wilt
And forget memories
And fall apart in kitchens and bedrooms and strew their pieces on the floors
Dried and broken after only days of being lovely
Flowers with their alternating patterns of
Unreliable determinations
Claiming every other petal as an opposite declaration
Of a determination
Of love
And I never liked removing thorns from roses
Because they added something truthful and
Poetic
But when you gave me flowers
I held them to my heart and let my eyes dance across the kaleidoscope that they created in a glass vase
I let them live for longer than they did
Because they were still pretty even when no one else seemed to think so
And when they hang dried on a wall
Still colorful but slightly brittle
Maybe they'll stay like that if I just don't touch them
When you gave me flowers
I plucked off every other petal
Into a bouquet of He-Loves-Me
Because for once there was no doubt
For once I believed the sentiment in the flowers and the words from your lips as you handed them over
The lack of nots in the petals
Pulling apart the knots in my stomach
He loves me
He loves me
Truer than the dirt that holds
Wilting symbols of affection
Sweeter than the honey
Of their pollinators
He loves me
He loves me
A garden of something new and beautiful
Perennial and built on symbolism after all
Until you let me know that dead flowers were just dead flowers
That they were past their worth
And metaphors aren't worth the dirt they were grown in
That perennials can't return
When you've salted the soil
And brittle flowers on the wall should always be removed
But I always lived in metaphors anyway
And I had a new appreciation for flowers that I didn't want to lose
I was no longer a rose
But a thorn
I always thought smooth stems were so boring
Not to mention dishonest
But I didn't want to make you bleed
So painfully I dug an olive branch from my rib cage
Then realizing that a ****** token may not be so well received
I decorated it with a bouquet of blue Forget-Me-Nots
But you plucked off every other petal
And handed back an array of He-Loves-Me-Nots
He loves me not
And there was no doubt in the sentiment
The sentience of metaphors dying all around me
When all I know is metaphors
And flowers were never just flowers
And words were never just words
But both are found on gravestones and poems and apologies
And parallels have fallen into nice and even spacing
Reducing flowers to clichés
Of alternating promises
Of He loves me and
He loves me not
Of broken promises
He loves me
Not
May 22, 2014
May 22, 2014 at 6:04 PM UTC
And sad she's been.
and drinking in the new year has everything seemed like it would fit into place... but fit in it does not, a square hole fitting a sphere shaped piece...
attempting the new does the old fit in better than anything, and happy nowhere does she fit in, and drink does she more...
but the more she sips the poison, does the toxin fill her lungs and more often than not does the feeling of unease take over her body... and simply the many that call her amazing really mean terrible...
but know little that they mean terrible, and the few that read terrible, know simply the tears that fall are more simple and complete than anything felt before, and every feeling felt before is unknown and foreign to those who think they are aware, but are really oblivious.
always does the rain fall on those who ask for it, don't be sad and wish it didn't happen, because the truth that lies is what really exists and the new year brings in nothing but good hopes and wishes. maybe he should sleep.
and ask for that does she not, she wishes the truth would surface, because then would the sun break through and the light be seen by many, and make all the pieces fall into place, and everyone would read the story much more easily in the light than in the dark of her thoughts and maybe then will her soul not feel so heavy but light.
and always will she feel better if everything the alcohol keeps inside would stay inside, and the years past would not exsist and everything would fade away and the rain would it wash away everything...
and pretend all that occurred didn't, and innocent she would remain instead of everything stolen from her heart would she remain happy, instead of ruined and just another pawn in life's game of chess instead of a piece of a game that can ruin others...
and always ruin will she because she deserves death but isn't strong enough to give, because if strong enough to give would everyone serve time and deal debt instead of tears filling cups, and woes filling life, and pain filling strife... maybe then would the debt be repaid but no...
the heart still beats with unknown determinations... if the truth of it all showed would the heart truthfully give up and let the truth give in... whereas the life would be lost and no one would question it...
Oct 16, 2012
Oct 16, 2012 at 3:22 PM UTC
Success is a mere construct that is subjectively incompatible with professed spirituality.
Butter may spread with ease on a slice of bread, and it may not.
There is something appealing about the grains of sand which lodge in obscure places.
The texture of nature is truly fraught with the bliss and tragedy of North African mysticism.
Geology may be ancient, but so are the sensual indulgences of Cleopatra.
The construction of wonders remains to be perplexing; and I haven’t cleansed myself in milk.
Cairo is the epitome of occult curiosity where Anubis reigns in contemporary economics.
The All Seeing Eye promises safety at the cost of homage.
Identify yourself. If freedom doesn’t exist,
then why does the abode of the dead eagerly impose determinations?
Fly the flag. God bless America.
Dec 31, 2013
Dec 31, 2013 at 3:24 PM UTC
It stand for National
Basketball Association
There is a lots of teams
That play in the
NBA
NBA
Basketball teach us to
play as a team and
To be a team player
It gives us determinations
Gives us a good feeling
Because you can to
Anything you what
To never give up
NBA
© Amanda Kay Hill
1/13/17
Jan 14, 2017
Jan 14, 2017 at 1:39 AM UTC
Determinations
By Williamsji
If the fire within me burns your body
If the drought within me dry your paddy
I shall survive with my everlasting love
I shall resist my evils, further to move
If the deep sea brings the water level down
If the castle collapse and breaks my crown
I shall survive with my everlasting love
I shall resist my evils, further to move
If the blue sky covers the shining stars
If the moonlight fades on the upstairs
I shall survive with my everlasting love
I shall resist my evils, further to move
Williamsji
[email protected]
Jul 9, 2012
Jul 9, 2012 at 10:33 PM UTC
I'm falling in more ways than one...
*....once again the cycle resets.
It takes so much to stay standing,
to remain firmly grounded.
When I feel happiness...
sadness follows in the absence,
replacing the gratefulness I should feel.
This discontent, stirs my emotions,
into a never-ending turmoil.
I am consumed in my greed.
The tease is never enough.
This life refuses to be fabricated.
Pieces lay scattered among the dust.
These winds never relent,
making it impossible to gather the crumbs.
Unable to make determinations from the debris,
I cannot seem to collect myself.
Brief bursts of effort, come and go...
this energy, so difficult to muster.
Without consistency, I am faltering..
never steady and always full of extreme highs and lows.
Now that I've tasted life with you,
I am bound to torture...
..the torture of being without your love.
In every aspect of my life,
I am getting most of what I need....
just not enough of it.
I have family with me.....but not enough of them.
I have the love of my life.....but not by my side each day.
I have two jobs.....but not enough money to cover those needs, or any wants.
I have clothing.....but they are worn and need replacing.
I have food.....but just barely an appetite.
I am hardly able to keep myself together,
physically or mentally....
....I can't seem to stop falling,
regardless of the several times I keep getting back up.
The last hope I have to hold onto, is you.
I need the strength you give me, to face the day.
I need the love you give me, to keep the sadness away.
I need you to hold me, and tell me it's going to be okay.
I need to be able to share the love in my heart,
that I hold only for you.
You are the glue to my life; what is keeping me together.*
I'm sorry...
Oct 14, 2015
Oct 14, 2015 at 4:14 PM UTC
Sunrise has begun
The Trucker is living among
Every road turning bend
A Trucker’s job never ends
The road just brings the Trucker a step closer to their destination
Sometimes there’s a pause
A reason with a cause
Journeys fulfilled
The Trucker can be off schedule
Delays unavoidable
Weather conditions making travel unstable
The mission being the assignment
Beaten path
Endless wait
No appreciate
Fathoms
Vision thought
Reminder
Truckers with drive
Directions
Maneuvers
Determinations and commitments
Agreements
Truckers with delivery matters
Keep to the minute, seconds and hours
Trucker vow, “Keep on Trucking”
Motto, “Arrive Alive”
Doing what Truckers do best
Drive and continue to drive
Feb 23, 2023
Feb 23, 2023 at 3:33 PM UTC
darkness at the very edge
its bold
and far from silent
it has a vast sound at the verge of hearing
soft and insistent
clinging to you like a frightened child
you chase the source of light
seeking comfort in its warm familiarity
through the supermarket
where housewives steal trinkets of food
where men loose spare change
through the well traveled rail station
where men in long coats await the rain
where women of dire straights await rescue
clean the razors determinations
and know that the fine line reached
is the one between her mocking you
and the reality of your cold naked bleeding in the rain
no sweeping music can change the mistakes
no well placed words can undo the changes
and everyone may pretend not to see
but they all know
and they all lied
she awakens before dawn
standing at the kitchen table
holding a paper doll
inside she screams and screams
inside the tears are an ocean of death
but to the mute world
her stone gaze fixed out the window
that in her mind is forever as shattered as her
to a world that to her is forever winterbound as her cold heart
she walks into the depths of her home
neatly pressed in her grey dress
line perfect down to makeup
but there is a steady whisper of terror leaking out of her lips
darkness has many faces
hides in plain sight
in full on sunlight
has too many names to be recalled
its lusted for and held up in praise
but it is no hero to me
she is just one average face
just one average set of fingers
looking for a trigger
looking for a thing to bury herself and blade in
and regardless of what they say
she is my only hope
i cannot be the one to bear this burden anymore
i cannot carry this awful memory any further
i want to be rid of her and her kind once and for all
she stands in her silent dark bedroom
razor in her cold fingers
thin smile on her thin lips
waiting
shes waiting
but im never coming back
i will never open that door
never free her of this hell she created
if it was anybody else i might feel
anyone else it might matter
let her rot
Aug 22, 2013
Aug 22, 2013 at 11:22 PM UTC
The sun scours her
Snow scrapes her
Frosts feasts her
Mist munches her
Fog freezes on her
Dew develops and dries on her
But she is resilient
Like gigantic ancient hills
She is caring Mama still
Rearing her kids will
Like cedars that straight stands
In Lebanon’s forested lands
She is a shady giant old oak
She does not wither
But stronger she withstands
The hurricanes, the sad storms
With cools and calms
She has no qualms
But a strong will-determinations
Mama, my strong woman!
All alone she shoulders
She does not complain or blame
In silence she just sings
Her strong woman’s songs
Blessings to her sons and man:
To her daughters and children
That time may pass by well
With a hand of sacred spell
And their future good foretell
Curses and causes erase complete
Diseases and damnations delete
Mama, a strong woman!
Nine months she carries with passionate cares
With no scares, sorrows or grumbling sorry
She cares for her bulge with a compassionate worry
Daily she gently it rears
Minute by minute
She fondly feels it
Her foetus forming
Stroking, it calming
Her other duties still perfectly performing
Mama, my passionate woman!
In pains she benevolently bears
Me she benignly beholds
Young as old-still her child
Till either, sadly and sorrowfully is no more
Mama, my strongest woman!
© Kìùra Kabiri. All rights reserved.
Mar 31, 2017
Mar 31, 2017 at 4:05 AM UTC
Hey
I listen
I watch
I analyze
I compare
I find pattern
I detect the ways
I take note of the days
I make calculated determinations
&
Game changing speculations
Ascertain the ramifications
Of
Behavioral articulations
Jun 13, 2016
Jun 13, 2016 at 1:50 AM UTC
She closes her eyes to block out the sadness
Everywhere there is red
Raw
intense passion
false courage
Encouraging impulsiveness
Red
Evoking deep emotional and spiritual connotations.
Red
in her dreams
Is she lacking energy.
feeling tired or lethargic.
Red
the color of danger
violence
blood
shame
rejection
or
****** impulses and urges.
Perhaps it's time for her to stop and think about her actions
Open her eyes and see the beauty of red
Red
warm and positive
exciting emotions
take action.
spirit and leadership qualities
promoting
ambious
determinations.
Red
Overcome the shyness and remove the sadness
May 20, 2016
May 20, 2016 at 6:49 PM UTC
You can hit dirt, and anything else you can think of
But when it comes to true talent, it becomes an inspiration of disburse
Genius being a natural talent pond
It all happens during a grown up yond
Equations into algebraic approach and logic
Math problems with theological resolutions
Even with the balance within complexity, the theory of geometry being precise
Excellence and continued excellence beyond any world’s comprehension
Yet being an Afro American Woman, there was white male opposition being like a contest
Colored and White being issues during the Civil Rights Movement
However through it all, three Afro American Women were determined to prove they were the key in construct being the call
Those same black women were standing for all
It was a matter in being given the chance, and having capabilities to advance
Yet challengers in struggles in opposition afraid in possibilities becoming knowledge in sound figures in accuracy
Come back would meet impact
The idea of man in space
The reaches of planets and space being an accomplishment being the trace
The point of the movie, “Step out from emotions into determinations being compact
The dignity and pride in what one expresses is one’s desire in going the miles regardless
But for these three Afro American women, it was objections into victories and talent with defined results
Good reason, but it doesn’t matter even off season
A space launch with thanks to three courteous Black Women
Where anyone can set their mind to, the results become apparent
Obvious in proven and achieving in did.
Jan 23, 2017
Jan 23, 2017 at 11:25 AM UTC
If fears
Were our laugh-at’s and don’t-care’s
If worries
Were our yeah-whatever’s and who-care’s
If failures
Were our pick-me-up’s and motivations
If don’ts
Were our must-do’s and determinations
How would the world be then?
Jan 21, 2011
Jan 21, 2011 at 10:58 AM UTC
Within a cool summer breeze
Laid a meadow where grass grew
No animals in sight and with it no trees
Above was nothing except the vast beautiful blue
In this land of forgotten memories
Three doors stood so brown and new
Years and years passed unseen
Until a young girl came one day
Her figure was amazingly lean
And produced a great display
With a birthstone of tourmaline
Her cheerful days has deplenished away
As she came to the first door
The scenes showed her miserable past
Starring at the pictures as she abhor
Being hurt and hated and harassed
As delinquents attacked her heart and tore
Leaving her determinations and desires so vast
She glanced away and continued on
The next door's wiring seemed to be loose
For it was blurry when came upon
Known as a hermit by remaining recluse
With all the negativity she drawn
No one seeing the frames of abuse
Trying to forget the past and present
She fearfully beheld her final dare
Standing there with such tremendous resent
Enraged her with darkness and despair
Seeing only a still event
Of the color black flooding everywhere
Deciding which door to overwrite
She choose none to reside
The girl left the meadow in fright
Feeling unwanted as she cried
So on a cold winter night
She committed suicide
Mar 15, 2015
Mar 15, 2015 at 1:30 AM UTC
Without paper without pen
Isn't it my heart's voice then?
Feelings and crazy emotions
Lead me to Determinations
Jotting down funny thoughts
Compiling grumpy volumes
I love poetry
Jun 24, 2016
Jun 24, 2016 at 11:21 AM UTC
I make friends,
to anybody,
any kind of people,
any characteristics.
But I keep praying,
to have a friend,
in my morning prayer.
A friend,
who I can be me,
a pampered Sam,
a weak me.
To be strong,
to be kind,
to be funny,
are the determinations.
To be smart,
to be active,
to be neat,
are what they demand.
Oh, the Sender of the rain,
I pray for a friend,
who I can be me,
who will be my childrens' mom.
Jul 18, 2016
Jul 18, 2016 at 1:17 PM UTC
The incredible sensation I get when you name passes through my brain
The unwilling tremble of love that is caged and very well inslaved
Determinations brings forth the relentless amount of fame
Quenching for satisfaction
Even though it runs through my vains
Guilt that pumps profusely for not living up to my name
What's going on in this I'll mind I call a brain
Feb 9, 2015
Feb 9, 2015 at 11:07 AM UTC
Your music continues to hit my ears
I remember Phyllis Hyman’s songs
I know Ms. Hyman has been dead so long
But her songs brought Love to life
Measure for Measure
Love being the pleasure
Ms. Hyman illustrated in order to love someone you must start loving from within
Knowing how to love, but understanding you are truly in love
Ms. Hyman’s songs of serenity and sincerity
Yet it all comes down to reality
A heart of inner emotions with love never having to end
Determinations of feelings become concrete on when
No moon could ever set the mood
The candle lit in the kiss and seduced by smooth and soothe
Breathless in wanting to be loved even more
The heart pounds in being sure
As the heart pulsates, it was a matter in romance being total fate
Love and romance being eternal in date
But there is a reality
Love can crumble beyond a moment’s notice
But because of that love, one must be strong and continue to stand on solid ground with no turnaround
You are now standing on secrete ground, and your life will revolve around and around
Phyllis Hyman sang to the world all so well
This is why Phyllis Hyman is remembered with elegance being swell
Ms. Hyman life remains on Higher Ground
However, I still hear the echoes of her singing voice, which she herself is being the sound
You knew how to entertain us
As a fan, I remember you being an always must.
Feb 4, 2017
Feb 4, 2017 at 7:16 PM UTC
When I wake up I plan the day
important matters on the mind
waiting patiently through the night
begging action after dreams
when the balm of sleep recedes
curtains opened, sun comes in
the moon has left the wide sky
now I’m roused to decide
I’ll declare life’s verdicts
resolutions to complete
when adulting challenges
determinations are declared
before my life is duly planned
decrees to judge the whole of life
there is one resolve before the rest
deciding where to lunch that day.
© 2017. Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20170623.
Jun 23, 2017
Jun 23, 2017 at 6:34 AM UTC
Comparison is a risky game that people play,
But when you’re least expected, it will happen one day.
She’ll walk in, and you’ll begin to feel some kind of way,
and the contaminated thoughts that are down on the inside,
which cannot be seen,
will make it difficult to recognize a natural born Queen.
This battle between your thoughts and authenticity,
Will make it difficult to recognize all of your insecurities.
All of the beauty, capabilities, talents, and dreams,
Become ideas, determinations, and just things,
that you’ll probably work on later.
There are so many things you just can’t hide,
But you’ll never come out on the winning side,
Playing the game of comparison.
Aug 2, 2019
Aug 2, 2019 at 12:19 PM UTC