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"compiling" poems
your ears were by far your best feature they could deflect all my nervous trifles and absorb the jokes no one else got, the confessions I whispered through the phone, and the significance of being on the other end (please remember) I am not compiling a list of clichés with which to barricade the door when loneliness knocks This is not a love song, so please don’t use those ears to search for one those ears were second only to your tongue it possessed the unique ability to mold sound into exactly what I needed to believe the confessions it sculpted and glazed with calculated vulnerability fit so comfortably in my ear that tongue was a love song and a mace rolled into one (please remember) not to use it to sing my praises, and I’ll grant you the same courtesy your feet are so beautiful, too the elegance with which they propelled you into someone else’s day dreams was inspired with a screech, your tires left me reveling in exhaust the fumes choking me, I never got a chance to say that coffee from the place you used to- we used to like is bitter now it tastes the way goodbye did as it rolled off my tongue and chased your retreating back I add more sugar but the clinking of the spoon echoes the “I love yous” whispered to someone else the sound fits in her ear the way your hand used to fit in mine the spaces between my fingers now resemble apartments whose tenants have been evicted the landlord hardened by rejection wears a coat sewn from the time and wears a mustache curled into the shape of desire these lonely flats are plagued with shadows (that’s what happens when the sun is so **** close you can taste it, but there’s something else in the way) (please remember) this is not a love story (please remember) I don’t want you back I want coffee that won’t stain my smile I want my favorite songs not to be harmonized by the sound of your breathing I want my posture not to sing a Taylor Swift song and I desperately want not to be the girl writing you poetry (the kind that you would never listen to anyway) your ears were by far your best feature everything else is blurry to me now I can’t picture your edges anymore, or differentiate where they separate from mine Your ears were second only to your tongue Your feet are so beautiful, too With a screech, your tires left me reveling in exhaust
0
Oct 31, 2012
Oct 31, 2012 at 8:34 PM UTC
to no one in particular
your ears were by far your best feature they could deflect all my nervous trifles and absorb the jokes no one else got, the confessions I whispered through the phone, and the significance of being on the other end (please remember) I am not compiling a list of clichés with which to barricade the door when loneliness knocks This is not a love song, so please don’t use those ears to search for one those ears were second only to your tongue it possessed the unique ability to mold sound into exactly what I needed to believe the confessions it sculpted and glazed with calculated vulnerability fit so comfortably in my ear that tongue was a love song and a mace rolled into one (please remember) not to use it to sing my praises, and I’ll grant you the same courtesy your feet are so beautiful, too the elegance with which they propelled you into someone else’s day dreams was inspired with a screech, your tires left me reveling in exhaust the fumes choking me, I never got a chance to say that coffee from the place you used to- we used to like is bitter now it tastes the way goodbye did as it rolled off my tongue and chased your retreating back I add more sugar but the clinking of the spoon echoes the “I love yous” whispered to someone else the sound fits in her ear the way your hand used to fit in mine the spaces between my fingers now resemble apartments whose tenants have been evicted the landlord hardened by rejection wears a coat sewn from the time and wears a mustache curled into the shape of desire these lonely flats are plagued with shadows (that’s what happens when the sun is so **** close you can taste it, but there’s something else in the way) (please remember) this is not a love story (please remember) I don’t want you back I want coffee that won’t stain my smile I want my favorite songs not to be harmonized by the sound of your breathing I want my posture not to sing a Taylor Swift song and I desperately want not to be the girl writing you poetry (the kind that you would never listen to anyway) your ears were by far your best feature everything else is blurry to me now I can’t picture your edges anymore, or differentiate where they separate from mine Your ears were second only to your tongue Your feet are so beautiful, too With a screech, your tires left me reveling in exhaust
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44
resuming textual trip testing experimental procedures visualizing model tsunami augmenting facetious environment catching abstract architecture noticing rhythmic exchange projecting subtextual database airhorning reggae royalty adding atypical party resolving twitter question noticing emotional mission awaiting emotional dialect installing metaphorical experiment intensifying animated trip displaying dynamic victory programming abstract development releasing emotional exchange deriving fata morgana glorifying referential sequence intensifying facetious map noticing harmonic trip observing radical ratio compiling nomadic message predating google rebranding reticulating facetious panda using hyperreal feedback exploring virtual panda speculating graphic gallery throwing mundane exception targeting graphic experiment replenishing emotional trap localizing asemic animal dropping rhythmic trip propagating immortal experiment displaying lowercase database invading orange bubbles crashing animated trip running conceptual topography remembering collapsed buildings crashing hyperreal coverage propagating hyperreal stipulation finishing western library envisioning neon tessellation reciprocating network likes processing animated device releasing haptic quality examining building seven awaiting rhapsodical ratio sampling death sauce sensing lowercase clone examining symbolic tour processing potential development encapsulating spatial lottery displaying digital paragraph reticulating theoretical source perpetuating western paragraph transmitting monochromatic structure anticipating ambient quality transmitting asemic environment intensifying atomic quality remastering history poem keeping future light hypothesizing eternal game using future library rearranging masonic language transmitting masonic development continuing ceremonial ritual questioning party's legitimacy deferring western coverage finishing asemic hypertext mollifying ostentatious presence synthesizing allegorical icon forming categorical unions sketching app wireframe programming immortal repository
0
Sep 15, 2015
Sep 15, 2015 at 6:52 PM UTC
201509-w2
resuming textual trip testing experimental procedures visualizing model tsunami augmenting facetious environment catching abstract architecture noticing rhythmic exchange projecting subtextual database airhorning reggae royalty adding atypical party resolving twitter question noticing emotional mission awaiting emotional dialect installing metaphorical experiment intensifying animated trip displaying dynamic victory programming abstract development releasing emotional exchange deriving fata morgana glorifying referential sequence intensifying facetious map noticing harmonic trip observing radical ratio compiling nomadic message predating google rebranding reticulating facetious panda using hyperreal feedback exploring virtual panda speculating graphic gallery throwing mundane exception targeting graphic experiment replenishing emotional trap localizing asemic animal dropping rhythmic trip propagating immortal experiment displaying lowercase database invading orange bubbles crashing animated trip running conceptual topography remembering collapsed buildings crashing hyperreal coverage propagating hyperreal stipulation finishing western library envisioning neon tessellation reciprocating network likes processing animated device releasing haptic quality examining building seven awaiting rhapsodical ratio sampling death sauce sensing lowercase clone examining symbolic tour processing potential development encapsulating spatial lottery displaying digital paragraph reticulating theoretical source perpetuating western paragraph transmitting monochromatic structure anticipating ambient quality transmitting asemic environment intensifying atomic quality remastering history poem keeping future light hypothesizing eternal game using future library rearranging masonic language transmitting masonic development continuing ceremonial ritual questioning party's legitimacy deferring western coverage finishing asemic hypertext mollifying ostentatious presence synthesizing allegorical icon forming categorical unions sketching app wireframe programming immortal repository
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75
Barking along the seething sea Tethys sparkling Sans Pellagrino Bubbled up with volcanic Albido And it exposed the cragged shores Of a incessantly compiling Or Completely snuffed Mountain Bored and drilled by time Sharper than a dying dimond Cooked and left to rest A Dinar plate To which an all you can eat Buffet Played out pleasently From antiquity To present A gift to an aging child To be which pure joy can behold. Today it is home of the Croats The ancient Frontier of a meiotic Rome And over small-grain time Made coats Of arms and animal manes To give a name To the nameless To give a place To the missed That old Tethys barks like a fish Beyond the Odoacerean boot, Scylla and Charybdis Where the whales float And great souls Stolen deep within wishing to find god Fumbling in the dark Searching for Alexandria The flame of life Become great stories to be told And nothing more. Odysseus Hug the shore Follow the land of the mysterious Croats Do not venture beyond the threshold Or you will be consumed by time And lost to her Circedean jealous pines Do not anger the constant love of Helios No, These Croats have never croaked They know not of amphibiotes And the sharpened clades of life Made and tailored bespoke Sowed In the fractals Of the quiet word of Eloah.
0
Jul 27, 2018
Jul 27, 2018 at 2:41 PM UTC
101 Million Dalmatia
*Spring is going to back Silently dropping  the purple petals   Bored noon,   The melancholy flute's of Shepherd Seeking the missing spring Roll up, Roll around the idle noon Random impulsive air Bunch of dark clouds at the sky Pensive Seem illusion of that known Pied crested Cuckoo Beyond the horizon,   The eyes looking for Sounds (Tip Tip) of the sudden drops of rain, On the leaves of Quail, Washing Differentiation of mind On the leaves of Arum, Ever Keeps as the containers Integrating Concentrating  Compiling of soul  Weird one wrapped in mystery Mind Life Seasons Coming up the lyrics of rain Fusion with thy mystic music Afternoon has grown heavier   How my mind moves! Chased away birds returning home The heart is rapidly expanded Rain continues to move around Nature demands a new ground Looping, hearing of the same song Shadows filling with the feelings Perhaps this change of thy Bound to sketch A new face of impression*
0
Mar 20, 2015
Mar 20, 2015 at 12:41 PM UTC
*weird one wrapped in mystery*
Lets look on upon unpopular stars when we are apart, and wish our hearts were heads, forgetting we ever met, as if meant to be, compiling our indoctrination unto ****** scent, and cold coffee, stale smoke, and years of therapy.
0
Feb 23, 2013
Feb 23, 2013 at 6:15 PM UTC
Dated
*Strip into segments the colours of life At the birth of my sons, loving my wife, Like the moment of truth when, whilst shivering clear, I went eyeball to eyeball with that, which I fear. Like the time when the engine went dead in the plane And I ditched in the pines to confirm the insane. When my Father collapsed and died in my arms And childhood departed with God and his Psalms. When I first kissed a girl’s soft velvety lips And felt, with wild rapture, my hands on her hips. Discovered ripe apricots fresh from the tree Taste sweeter than nectar collected by bee. Felt the presence of death compellingly near Though the body was wracked, the thinking was fear. Climbed impossible peaks that I dreamt I perceived To weep the hot tears in a life’s goal achieved. Laughed loud and long with the wind in my hair Yet cried when an enemy lost to despair. Pondered the mystery of what’s round the bend Concluded beginnings are part of the end. Compiling the rules to maintain my space Lie in keeping the oddballs out of my face. Clasping friends, so few, to my breast Embracing the true and to hell with the rest. Committing my time to my one darling wife And thanking the Gods for this colourful life!* Marshalg Sitting in the long summer grasses 3 Decemeber 2012
0
Dec 2, 2012
Dec 2, 2012 at 9:34 PM UTC
A Colourful Life
clicking teeth rattling breath veins too small and cramped lungs spindly ribs and spiderweb lips you wake up sunshine on your face lazy smile lazy voice eyes squinted why can't I be happy like you? you taste like ozone and i have traced the knots on your ankles and the hole in your chest for hours revising calculations compiling a chart mapping your unknown spaces to find the real distance from you to me not in the light years from your mouth to mine but thoughts memories four thousand six hundred fourty four instances without me that void is infinite your mouth is full of flies your brain is a quasar with no light on the horizon there is nothing left of you but bones and a nest of veins and arteries with your heart stuck in the center like an egg your wings are melting you've flown too close to the sun again wax tattoos you poppy red in drip drip drips how could i forget you? your parabolas your rosy cheeks and the weight of you how could i forget? you have no solution (i could help you find one)
0
Oct 7, 2013
Oct 7, 2013 at 9:55 PM UTC
Chest
babbling bard's borrowed blabberpolished performers jibber jabberpinching published stolen cultureverse of a cuckoo, parrot, or vulture thespian thrush corally crowspilfered produce of past masters proseperfect posture, prancing croondotty damsels sigh and swoon shakespearian showman strutting stagesobtaining material from dead poets pagesstudious stealer's theatrical thirstrapturous robber, magpie of verse wisely walter mundane mittypoetical poacher prancing prettyempty shallow pretentious crookcrafty criminal compiling book robber of rhyme from archival shelfcopy-cat crooner can't do it himselfrouted teeth spout from mouth like a troutaudience wonder, what is he on about any question's? the laurete quizzedyes said one,...do you know where the bog is? this is a true story, i was there. and the **** concerned is the editor of poetry wales magazine. who told me that i should study other peoples work for at least five years before i put pen to paper. i promptly answered, .... too late butty, i've already published 3 books, and sold the lot (only locally mind, but did'nt tell him that). he read other peoples poems that night, that were converted from english to welsh, and no one round here speaks or understands welsh.
0
Mar 2, 2010
Mar 2, 2010 at 12:36 PM UTC
pretentious poet
About you Inspired by you You've never read them I've considered compiling them Hand-written, blue-lined notebook paper Slipping them in manila folder Handing it to you On our last encounter Yes, I wrote poems for you And you broke my heart Perhaps I wrote poems for you Because I knew you'd be the one To break my heart And here you are As you started As you'd end With me tangled in love And ache and poetry
0
Mar 19, 2018
Mar 19, 2018 at 2:54 AM UTC
I wrote poems for you
Your opinions doesn't matter, no matter the argument, you could be right, you could be wrong, but we don't really care. you're but one person out of the many, and your voice cannot be heard. You are not a politition, nor a lawyer, nor in the government, you can fight and rally all you wish, but you'll always end up in disappointment. because your opinions doesn't matter. You are not some prodigy that can rally a whole nation behind his back, nor are you some great speechman that can touch another's heart. You are but a common man, speaking out his own thought, entertaining your own imagination, fighting other people, debating over things you can't change, but anger you have brought. but in the end that thought no one actually cares, your opinions doesn't matter. The world is not fully black or white, so why are you the judge? is it prejudice, or sympathy, no ones really interested. no matter how compiling your argument, there'll always be something you're missing, there'll always be contradictions within your words, and someone will always find it. but in the end it doesn't matter, because your opinions doesn't matter. But nor does mine, nor anyones, we're all just pieces of pawns, controlled by the government, society, and big corporations. it's best to sit back, enjoy your life, and sip a cup of water, block out anything that does not concern you, and live a happy life. inside your happy little bubble, you'll always be the king, because no one's opinion ever matters.
0
Oct 29, 2017
Oct 29, 2017 at 1:57 AM UTC
Your opinions doesn't matter
Your opinions doesn't matter, no matter the argument, you could be right, you could be wrong, but we don't really care. you're but one person out of the many, and your voice cannot be heard. You are not a politition, nor a lawyer, nor in the government, you can fight and rally all you wish, but you'll always end up in disappointment. because your opinions doesn't matter. You are not some prodigy that can rally a whole nation behind his back, nor are you some great speechman that can touch another's heart. You are but a common man, speaking out his own thought, entertaining your own imagination, fighting other people, debating over things you can't change, but anger you have brought. but in the end that thought no one actually cares, your opinions doesn't matter. The world is not fully black or white, so why are you the judge? is it prejudice, or sympathy, no ones really interested. no matter how compiling your argument, there'll always be something you're missing, there'll always be contradictions within your words, and someone will always find it. but in the end it doesn't matter, because your opinions doesn't matter. But nor does mine, nor anyones, we're all just pieces of pawns, controlled by the government, society, and big corporations. it's best to sit back, enjoy your life, and sip a cup of water, block out anything that does not concern you, and live a happy life. inside your happy little bubble, you'll always be the king, because no one's opinion ever matters.
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26
All our senses concatenate, building on each other <> this interplay is truly interplanetary, for each of us a unique solar system, our brains, intricacy literally personified, and our five senses, working in concatenation our long range sensors, busy bees compiling inputs by the nanosecond second, distilling, integrating. blending and then reconstructing…into a whole! *a gentle breeze ruffles the hair, the tree swing rises and flows of its own accord, no passported passenger required, and a neighbor’s American Flag, moves majestically & impressively, whipping, dancing, yes, prancing to a tune only it can hear, the syncopated air currents providing a rhythmic awesome inspiring beat…* and the brain takes this all in, a momentary second of a vista that is constantly flexing, yet remains unchanged, a muscular view of a real world, living but yet immutable, and I utter thanks to my motor functions, that bless me with the eyes to perceive, the nostrils to smell sea salt flavored air, the hearing ears that the know the imperceptible orchestrations of silences by their absence and their intrusion, and I touch my fingertips to my tongue, wetted, and hyper sensitized to that gentle breeze that decorates the landscapes external, *and the combinatory addition of the all of it, into a single momentary poem of recall, what I “knew” yesterday, & will greet again this coming day, as an old unfamiliar friend, who grasps me entire, and proclaims: this is living…and the greatest satisfaction that a speck of mortal can achieve, retain and through impoverished words…share* 4:14am Mon Jul 22 2 0 2 4
0
Jul 22, 2024
Jul 22, 2024 at 4:25 AM UTC
All our senses concatenate, building on each other...
All our senses concatenate, building on each other <> this interplay is truly interplanetary, for each of us a unique solar system, our brains, intricacy literally personified, and our five senses, working in concatenation our long range sensors, busy bees compiling inputs by the nanosecond second, distilling, integrating. blending and then reconstructing…into a whole! *a gentle breeze ruffles the hair, the tree swing rises and flows of its own accord, no passported passenger required, and a neighbor’s American Flag, moves majestically & impressively, whipping, dancing, yes, prancing to a tune only it can hear, the syncopated air currents providing a rhythmic awesome inspiring beat…* and the brain takes this all in, a momentary second of a vista that is constantly flexing, yet remains unchanged, a muscular view of a real world, living but yet immutable, and I utter thanks to my motor functions, that bless me with the eyes to perceive, the nostrils to smell sea salt flavored air, the hearing ears that the know the imperceptible orchestrations of silences by their absence and their intrusion, and I touch my fingertips to my tongue, wetted, and hyper sensitized to that gentle breeze that decorates the landscapes external, *and the combinatory addition of the all of it, into a single momentary poem of recall, what I “knew” yesterday, & will greet again this coming day, as an old unfamiliar friend, who grasps me entire, and proclaims: this is living…and the greatest satisfaction that a speck of mortal can achieve, retain and through impoverished words…share* 4:14am Mon Jul 22 2 0 2 4
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45
He could write only perhaps a page at a time so scarred was he of losing the brilliance that he had somehow found again. After a few minutes of writing he was haunted by introspection reading back on what he had just written he couldn't escape the notion his words had been penned by some greater man and if he were to continue, to add to it, he would only be lessening a beautiful portrait. The effect was that each page he wrote looked like a biography with each chapter recorded by a different writer giving his work the disjointed feeling of having many contributors all compiling their experiences to tell this one story. He had never bothered to understand Durkheim's theory of alienation, but he imagined it was something close to this – not recognising himself in every story he wrote, only knowing that it was somehow someone different each time and that they were all trapped somewhere deep inside him.
0
Jul 12, 2012
Jul 12, 2012 at 3:24 AM UTC
Genius
With every utterance that leaves my lips Exist a thousand more my tongue have missed Frustration causes problems compiling my statements I try to recapitulate my day, but failure hides in my shadow My mind leads me and I follow Complex formulas and conundrums are riddle across my brain Monday through Sunday overthinking regulates my plane I soar through the sky in thought, Though in reality I haven’t left yet Though I consciously monitor my next step Because I’m on plan E and I think F’s next Entrapped by the scent of, The woman that lies beside me My soul watches her as she sleep I lay awake thinking of the rising sun The things to come with the next day I’ve learned a lot mainly that patience pays That vexation puts me in my place, kicks sand in my face Obscures my way, to humble my spirit Arrogance ravages my actions But frustration deflates my ego With every utterance that leaves my lips Exist a thousand more my tongue have missed
0
Mar 4, 2013
Mar 4, 2013 at 5:45 AM UTC
Vexation Humbles Me
So frivolous that this exists within a Lack of being, The ebb and flow of Death influx, The cause of void in pulse, but, Nonetheless, Life hosts in essence, in absence, In ephemeral disguises compiling like Waves in the ocean, Like pomegranate seeds in hands, Like the letter C in the mind, [A comedy] .Perpetual. And yet we are, And yet I am, And yet you is, [A complex] The "primordial" surrogate of truth: The sun in a raisin, Shriveled and compacted because The grape was in the son of Woman and man [A tragedy] But still, with her eyes on horizons, The blue woman remains in essence   While the red man remains in absence: *Lack of sunrises Lack of sunsets Lack of quiet nights* But the ebb and flow as parables as memoirs Appease the quiet war between the Quiet soul's erosion and the Ancestral swig of heresy, tonics that Drip sporadic hesitation, An emotion [A concoction] .Purple. This is my body Information becomes info This is my blood Influence the chaos With ripened moons and fluorescent suns The poetry as Mother Tongue As Mother Nature As existence As a lack of dark meaning [A feeling] ["Give them what they lacked"] The songs of ecclesiastics Everything is meaningless Until My hands My hands My hands Are Reincarnated within the Auroras of Autumn, Within the auras of Winter, Within Within The Ebb and Flow of Death bearing the new. [A time][A place] Father's Time Father's End As anecdotes As joyful mysteries . Suppose the mirror reflects it all As found and "uncharred"
0
Dec 2, 2015
Dec 2, 2015 at 1:05 AM UTC
Ebb and Flow.
So frivolous that this exists within a Lack of being, The ebb and flow of Death influx, The cause of void in pulse, but, Nonetheless, Life hosts in essence, in absence, In ephemeral disguises compiling like Waves in the ocean, Like pomegranate seeds in hands, Like the letter C in the mind, [A comedy] .Perpetual. And yet we are, And yet I am, And yet you is, [A complex] The "primordial" surrogate of truth: The sun in a raisin, Shriveled and compacted because The grape was in the son of Woman and man [A tragedy] But still, with her eyes on horizons, The blue woman remains in essence   While the red man remains in absence: *Lack of sunrises Lack of sunsets Lack of quiet nights* But the ebb and flow as parables as memoirs Appease the quiet war between the Quiet soul's erosion and the Ancestral swig of heresy, tonics that Drip sporadic hesitation, An emotion [A concoction] .Purple. This is my body Information becomes info This is my blood Influence the chaos With ripened moons and fluorescent suns The poetry as Mother Tongue As Mother Nature As existence As a lack of dark meaning [A feeling] ["Give them what they lacked"] The songs of ecclesiastics Everything is meaningless Until My hands My hands My hands Are Reincarnated within the Auroras of Autumn, Within the auras of Winter, Within Within The Ebb and Flow of Death bearing the new. [A time][A place] Father's Time Father's End As anecdotes As joyful mysteries . Suppose the mirror reflects it all As found and "uncharred"
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69
BE GRATIFIED! BE SATISFIED! FOR NOT ALL WHO HAVE THEIR EYES COULD EVER SEE JUST LIKE ALL THOSE WHO HAVE THEIR EARS WHOM CAN ONLY LISTEN BUT THEY HAVEN'T HEARD BECAUSE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS IN LIFE ARE NOT SEEN AND CAN'T HEAR BUT FELT BY THE HEART! SPECIALLY IN THE HEART'S OF... PERSON WITH DISABILITY (PWD) :BLIND, DEAF, MUTE AND THOSE PEOPLE PLAYING IT OFF... ENHANCING TENDENCY CHEERFULLY (ETC) *SUCH AS : SPEAKING NASALLY, AUTISM, ******* INSIGHT AND OUT, THEY ARE THE GIFTED ONE ONE WHO ENJOYS THE PRESENTS OF CRIES CRIES THAT FILLED THEIR LIVES FULL OF TRIES TRIES CONSIDERING THAT THEY ARE ALSO ONE OF US ONE OF US WHOM ALSO STILL SEEKING LIFE'S QUERY QUERY COMPILING EVERY SINGLE WORD OF MYSTERIES MYSTERIES ANSWERED THE SIGNIFICANCE OF ESSENCE
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Jan 1, 2016
Jan 1, 2016 at 10:19 PM UTC
"the significance of essence"
Feeling like a waste of human life seems to be disgustingly more and more familiar to me each day. With every breath I take, I can’t help but to feel it is misplaced. I feel like drowning,- just compiling all this hate, all my fears, my repressed anger, my feelings of loss, and self loathing, and taking them- and letting em' eat away at my pores-   letting em' impregnate my lungs- as I wither, until nothing more but a hollow shell remains. I feel like setting fire to this face. Taking that cheap molten metal, and instead of to my wrist, applying it to my brain; letting it simmer and burn until there is no more pain. I choose to wallow, dwell, and hold onto this rage for reasons we call, "insane". I constantly, consistently, no matter the consequence, or the grief I may bring, sabotage anything I could possibly EVER have going for me. I am my own worst enemy. I feel like I am screaming. Like every fight we ever had, I was blatantly clear of what it is I fear, but I am wrong, I didn’t tell you once what was REALLY going on. Not once did I say I just feel useless today. I miss my brother and his familiar face. I think about him with every heart beat, living in a tent, fighting this war of greed, just counting down until he can finally be- returned home to his loving new family. I hold him very close to my heart, and his absence is quite frankly, TEARING me apart. I wish He could have been here for our Father in his time of need. I know Dad wishes that too. I wish I knew how to deal with loss better. I only feel guilt, and bitterness. I feel like in the years I have been alive, that I should have DONE MORE! I should have gotten to know my grandfather before- it was too late. What a selfish, putrid being I have grown to be. I wish my brother could see our beautiful Mother finally get the wedding she always dreamed. Instead…. He will only see pictures. He will only be with us in our hearts, and on paper, and on Anthony’s tux. I hope Momma takes it well. It will be an ever bittersweet memory. What irony. I have been thinking about using again. As often as I blink, I fight this demon inside of me, just pleading to be set free, yet instead, I allow it to consume me. Falling, flitting, failing, quitting. A ****** battle that I just can’t seem to win, silent, yet shrieking from this prison we call- “within”.
0
Aug 7, 2010
Aug 7, 2010 at 3:43 PM UTC
Prison We Call- "Within"
Feeling like a waste of human life seems to be disgustingly more and more familiar to me each day. With every breath I take, I can’t help but to feel it is misplaced. I feel like drowning,- just compiling all this hate, all my fears, my repressed anger, my feelings of loss, and self loathing, and taking them- and letting em' eat away at my pores-   letting em' impregnate my lungs- as I wither, until nothing more but a hollow shell remains. I feel like setting fire to this face. Taking that cheap molten metal, and instead of to my wrist, applying it to my brain; letting it simmer and burn until there is no more pain. I choose to wallow, dwell, and hold onto this rage for reasons we call, "insane". I constantly, consistently, no matter the consequence, or the grief I may bring, sabotage anything I could possibly EVER have going for me. I am my own worst enemy. I feel like I am screaming. Like every fight we ever had, I was blatantly clear of what it is I fear, but I am wrong, I didn’t tell you once what was REALLY going on. Not once did I say I just feel useless today. I miss my brother and his familiar face. I think about him with every heart beat, living in a tent, fighting this war of greed, just counting down until he can finally be- returned home to his loving new family. I hold him very close to my heart, and his absence is quite frankly, TEARING me apart. I wish He could have been here for our Father in his time of need. I know Dad wishes that too. I wish I knew how to deal with loss better. I only feel guilt, and bitterness. I feel like in the years I have been alive, that I should have DONE MORE! I should have gotten to know my grandfather before- it was too late. What a selfish, putrid being I have grown to be. I wish my brother could see our beautiful Mother finally get the wedding she always dreamed. Instead…. He will only see pictures. He will only be with us in our hearts, and on paper, and on Anthony’s tux. I hope Momma takes it well. It will be an ever bittersweet memory. What irony. I have been thinking about using again. As often as I blink, I fight this demon inside of me, just pleading to be set free, yet instead, I allow it to consume me. Falling, flitting, failing, quitting. A ****** battle that I just can’t seem to win, silent, yet shrieking from this prison we call- “within”.
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73
With small colonies Of rain water When brushed form together And make a fountain When hung from the neck On wooden coat racks Wobbling from the storm Outiside, compiling a lake On the white **** rug Hopefully your aunt doesn't mind The newfound guests of water And mud And myself, quiet as this farmhouse And the land it shepherds Let the raincoats stack One on top of the other And let the puddle grow into A sea of collective belonging Because behind these walls And a way from the thunder Our family can stay soggy Together, despite being A funeral for uncle earl We're just droplets.
0
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 15, 2014 at 11:19 PM UTC
Raincoats
Swoosh! Uh! Why, thank you! You may know by now I am weightless so I'll help you levitate, too, okay? and Ommmm...meditate! (and I'll kiss you like so, too) Hooray! Boy and girl paper dolls in 3-dimensions! I can't point to which ears heard which stampeding rumbles from minimal eye gazes, my vigilantly mind plotting on a chess board, six moves ahead, rooks to rookies, overtly naive to trump Freudian slips (here's where Forer will see his effect), a density practiced since crushin' La Rosa, an unfurling heroine, compiling names to ever-growing lists, I pushed it to the test, immersed in metacourse and passed in supernova bursts of spiralling colours! Mr. Movie sends his waves asking, Alice killed the Jabberwock with a purple sword, didn't she? And making his request, Make sure the hyenas get rid of Scar so that he Never! Comes!...Back! As well as his warnings, (Captain Gutt will threaten) *I will destroy him and everything he LO-OVES! You destroyed everything I had! I'm just returning the favour!* Reassuring, *No, he won't. Uh uh.* But I wouldn't know anything about that. I live in the post-post-postmodern age.
0
Apr 4, 2014
Apr 4, 2014 at 9:06 AM UTC
Excerpt from Brain
Those few calming songs, Running in the background of your deepest thoughts, Realizing you've become happier, Something you thought you had forgot, You roam in your thoughts, Keeping in mind what keeps you smiling, Keeping in mind what makes you smile, Every little thought you had compiling, Smile, live life, Enjoy all the little things, You won't regret what you've done, Even if those thoughts sting, Definite happiness, It's finally here, And you better believe, It's nothing to fear.
0
Feb 20, 2011
Feb 20, 2011 at 6:15 AM UTC
Solitude
Always remind me of where it all started, Was it the way you touched me as I trembled? Or how you went into this wholehearted? I'll never forget the moment your soft, alluring lips passionately kissed me. As we both felt the sparks that ignited between us, what more was there to do? You worked your hands all over my body, making me feel like a masterpiece. Your gentle, calming hands descended farther down my spine and past my protruding hips, I can hear our breathing getting louder and heavier, Our perpetual moans fill the empty room. As I start to crave the way your body perfectly curved with mine, I could feel the warmth that penetrated off your body onto mine, but that also wasn't the only thing to penetrate me either. All of this happened in the blink of an eye and before I knew that the chaos that started compiling in my mind, I knew that I needed you to stay with me.
0
May 31, 2016
May 31, 2016 at 8:24 PM UTC
Stay
One of the basic concepts of art Is that within every creation lies Fundamental shapes shepherd by an Organic compiling of lights and darks   Bending to formulate shadowed tales.   Stories. Myths. Epics. Triangles and circles rest undisturbed Scattered rhythmically like smooth curves Contouring to the whims of the dance... Yet, when infusing detail into mapped Shapes, the stories are no longer the same. Haunted and forsaken. But still, such a delicate face hearkens my Pencil to life. My fingers, to smudge these fine lines Drawn into the organic creation that is you:   A lovely imperfection. However, I never seem to get this line correctly.
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Jan 11, 2015
Jan 11, 2015 at 2:49 PM UTC
Fine Lines.
endless drip-drop-plopping pling-pop puddles pooling over their self-constructed boundaries, spilling into rainbow chem-drip paintings on the darkened pavement, melting into unseen hues of wetness. the super-saturated ground continues to collect the leaking of the sky, compiling samples of the potions spilling from clouds who gathered too much magic to hold onto by themselves. bustling busy-bodies cower under fabric roofs, only to be barraged by rising tidal waves rolling at their feet, sneaky splattering from dirt sick of being stomped upon. under the cover of brick and mortar searching eyes are stuck staring out blurred window-panes, hypnotized by the water-works and feeling nostalgia for a time when they lived under the sea, evolutionary longing for ancestral roots that escape understanding. entranced by the suspended flight and splendid crash landing of parachute droplets sent through a long descent as singular entities to dissolve back into a homogenous being at the end of the journey - separating and reconvening, reforming and dissipating. drip-drop drip-drop all the same, everything as everything else under the guise of arbitrary names, dripping-drop plopping in watery refrain, I am the same as you are the same as we are the same as the drip-dropping rain.
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Apr 14, 2015
Apr 14, 2015 at 2:37 PM UTC
dropping identity
The cracked corners of her spoken too many times mouth bent just far enough upward to be called a smile Teeth yellow from a coping mechanism you can't quite understand yet Holding back each breathe just enough For it it were not for the power in her lungs I wouldn't be here She says "Boy you just don't understand" Four years later, This jigsaw puzzle is slowly compiling itself into a fading picture 54 years of back breaking uphill climbs Two children who are still on a search to become men Zero men that deserved her heart A single mother conquering the branded arms of poverty Days weaving together begging for refuge Finding empty responses She is the shore being abused by the ocean Never once asked consent for what the body of water has taken Her framework eroding from view She has given too much too fast and it will not be given back Cancer has a funny way of taking something that does not belong to it Ending stories before they are finished Cutting to the credits earlier than expected We are powerless power lines being controlled by the wind Four year later I hear her saying "Boy you just don't understand" You are right mother I still do not understand Why you are not here
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Feb 23, 2017
Feb 23, 2017 at 3:30 PM UTC
Absent invitation
I reside of the dark side of the internet Wisely compiling knowledge On how Mother Earth is being taken hostage, On numerous projects that’s create statistics, Promises of peace that seems far from realistic. Numbers that count every human life Without putting any real value on a humans’ life You tell me, what life & its’ people have Done to you…Well…. It's done the same to me too Along with many others But don't give up My sisters & brothers Look out for one another This doesn't make sense To fight & belittle ourselves Don't you know? That we originate from wealth, Why must we endanger our health? Be Labeled at risk…. When already We're the number 1 target On their list I didn't come here… “To preach” Leave that jazz to the bishop “I Came To Teach…...” This infection of deception that’s going viral How do I know? Look in your bible Read up on the world Don’t sit or stand idle Your life is in your hands To survive you must understand survival Is life worth freedom or freedom worth life? Is it worth the pain the tears and the sacrifice?
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Jul 3, 2013
Jul 3, 2013 at 1:54 PM UTC
"Relative Thinking"