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Robin Carretti Jul 2018
The love pretty please
wait for my
Cherry baby on top
Not some love O-Oreo
I could scream beguiled
Both twirled in swirls
Bavarian cream

Love has torn at the seams
Bad dream hot hit
bounty hunter
Bunny ears of the hop heart
it skips divine lips like a light tower
No other apology cries the thunder

And wait a **** minute
O-Oh-Yes where's my tip

I am not your second
fiddle of stunts
The romance of philosophy

We can fly higher
than anyone
will ever be

The Outgaze O hearts
of symmetry
Being told about their love
or other peoples fun
Twilight apology Wolfin tie outrun

Love O Apology light my pleasure
O on Overdrive no time for the
S letter-word SOS seizure
How many love gestures
of psychology

Love word *O
love
to Outlive
your treasure
Being psyched for physiology
Feeling mighty good right now
Don't blow bubbles like their
stars* of trouble

A few in the A-New heart stays
ever so blue few Good Men
Perfect Zen thumbs up
His or hers how cute
the words up
The Buddha says
Love is a
spiritual existence

The herbs body rubs
Going to the Hubs
Behind all your apologies
Wearing the new Doctor scrubs
Love house of Labs resistance

The morning glory September
rise and stretch your
overworked wings
Believing never comparing
to another love
It's your love

Or very O for outstanding at the utmost
So incredible the feeling
       Loveology
There's absolutely no apology
The love surrender lion and tigers
So bearable

Her turn like a Turnup
Up close nose smells the rose
Picking love out pulling
the weeds
Her red  embarrassed face
of the radishes
The Shy bush compared
to the O outgoing love
A hint of red delicious apple
Buzzing around the
Mulberry Bush_
Big Ben London
O Sweet Lord of magic singing
*Rosebush* fresh lemons
George Bush Patriotic
Chilean Sea Maiden Bass
Love ******

VIP pass especially with love
Here it is his loves
A spinning wheel so dizzy
London foggy she is the
product of the  flower *****
Like a carnival cotton candy
What a head rush
Another apology and a big push
Those hummingbirds of sweet soul
But something ambushed
She got a lump of his
crab meat cheek crush

Getting over someone never to see them

*Picking out all the petals of the rose when she was with him*

How many apologies open heart surgeries
Apology on hold like a new series
*Wake up "O" my muffin*
Cheers to the world of Oats
Fingerpicking Cheerios
*Don't give in  get to know him

Giving/InWay*

New love *Caved In*
His way per click day
High payments to pay off

BMW Billionaire Man wilted
Love head Beamer
Be
_ My__ World the dreamer

That love pain injury, going faster
Strong love never to lose her
Like cancer Santas Deers love prancer

Fine tooth comb
Negative force to succumb

Capitulate
Artsy wings to meditate
She is destined for something
So articulate
Can this be a painful love of fate?
She succumbs to the time given in
To her O Lord temptation
Words stand alone planet of people
Hearing the real voice no recording
From here to eternity the blasted phone

The Love O not to outwit just sit
And lift your gravity of love
Round earth or your flat on the ground or above
someone knows your true love


*She is combing her hair Silkience Queen of the Divination
Love, there should be no apology lifted gravity that loves O went further than he will ever know her sexuality was smiles alive he couldn't learn his numbers.  Where is the love when your heart thunders world of letters and love writers never to apologize we are the real fighters
Jack Turner Apr 2014
Let me begin this with an apology.
An apology for the way I have been acting lately.
I do not know what I was hoping to achieve,
But I know it created nothing of what I want.

Let me begin this with an apology.
An apology that I know cannot ever encompass
Anything near what it ever rightfully should,
But for you I will still try none-the-less.

I don't ever want to lose you.
For over the last two years you have been my best friend.
Through the good and the bad, it has been us unto the end,
And to hear you say otherwise has turned my world on end.

Regardless of the fact that you might be moving on,
I can only ever be happy for you, and
I told you I would always be here for you, always.
And I do my best to keep my promises and my word.

I don't ever want to lose you.
I know that I may lose bits and pieces as we live and grow,
I don't ever want to lose you,
Your friendship I value over all others, that I know.

You are a part of me, something which you've made clear to me.
For better or worse that's the way it's going to be.
It's simply a fact from which there is no escaping,
And you know what? That's fine with me.

You are my sun. High in my sky.
When I think of you, it brightens my life.
I know I haven't been acting the way these words say.
For that, I hope you might accept my sincerest apology.

You and I were best of friends, something which we said would stay.
I lost sight of that, I strayed from the path.
If you're willing to give it a try, it's something I'd like to get back,
Because I value your friendship and I'd like it there in the end.

Let me end this with an apology.
An apology for my immaturity, the worst of me.
For all we've been through you deserve more.
If you give me the chance, I'll make it up to you with every word.

You are my sun.
You are part of me.
You were my best friend.
Hurting you is something I cannot forgive.

And if you cannot either,
I will understand.
I'm sorry.
This is my apology.
For Victoria.
Nekhbet Hermit Jan 2021
All I wanted
Was an I love you.
That didn’t sound like an apology.

Make love like an apology.
Shop for groceries like an apology
Hold me, like an apology
Eat your dinner,
Like an apology
Watch TV, like an apology
Take a shower, like an apology
Brush your teeth, like an apology

Fall asleep,
Dream of a life where you don’t have to feel so lonely.
When you say I love you
I say I’m sorry
I wanted a love that felt like celebration.
All you knew how to do
Was feel guilty,
For not wanting me anymore,
But refusing to go.
This is an apology
For all the **** I've done
And all the **** I didn't do
And all the **** I'm bound to do

This is an apology
For all the cigarettes I've smoked
Since I was fourteen years old
And for the cheap *****
I drank to forget myself

This is an apology
For the flowers I've trampled
And crushed to the ground
And for the trees I carved
"**** it all" into

This is an apology
To mother
(Who I know I've disappointed
beyond words)

This is an apology
To my old high school teacher
(Who believed so much in me
Who said I would ******* shine)

This is an apology
To my best friend
(Who calls at 3 am just to make sure
I haven't burned out)

I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm so *sorry
fray narte Aug 2019
This is an apology to my younger self
for letting her forget the ixora bracelets
tucked in her tattered notebooks;
for letting her blur the outline of Artemis’ body
resting the edges of a waxing moon.
This is an apology for the poetry
and the songs she tuned out
that could’ve saved her life.
This is an apology for allowing her
to stop hearing the midnight stories
of the souls who get lost in unknown towns
concealed beyond
the gaps in their ribs;
for allowing her to stray too far
from mountain-and-sea sunsets
that she can no longer smell
the salty air
and remember the color
of the twilight skies.

This is an apology for allowing her to fall out of love
with the things she wanted
to stay in love with —
for allowing her to fall out of love
with the things that kept her alive.

This is an apology —
for peeling the tattoo scabs
between the drags on a cigarette,
for sleeping drunk on a pile of ***** laundry,
for wanting to keep
the dreamers in the rye,
and yet falling off the cliff
two pages before the ending.
This is an apology for writing her dreams
in a bottle and throwing it out
into the open ocean;
now those dreams
are nautical miles away,
lost in the domes
of a sunken city.

This is an apology to my younger self
for all the things she wanted to be
that I never became —
and an apology
for all the things I am
that she never wanted to be.

And yet, this too is a promise to her
that it’s okay:
it’s okay to lose yourself
in places you don’t like.
It’s okay to wake up and find yourself
confined in a body
you no longer seem to know.
It’s okay, darling;
someday, you’ll find your way back.

I’ll find my way back.

We’ll find our way back
to who we’re supposed to be.

And it’ll be home.
Corina Feb 2015
The body is not an apology
I once sat on a bicycle, naked
with 3 medical students cheering at me
I don't believe I ever pedaled so hard
three strangers talking small talk while staring at my sweaty *****
And I was not even allowed to say anything back
but at least now I know I own a strong hard

The body is not an apology
I get uncomfortable just talking about nakedness
yet every week I make small talk with naked strangers
while fastly putting on my normal clothes
right over my sweaty body
I'm way too scared to take a shower like the rest of them

The body is not an apology
I didn't swim since I was fourteen
eleven years of excuses why I shouldn't swim, but honestly,
I just can't handle the image of myself in a bathing suit
I'm the fattest person I ever met
And I'm so tired
of trying to find apologies
for being what I am

The body is not an apology
and neither are eating disorder, depression or small budget
Neither is too tired to cook or genetics
my bones aren't any heavier than yours

The body is not an apology
But maybe my gym card is
and my food diary
and my salad for dinner
Maybe it is enough
that at least
today I tried
Hannah Marr May 2018
I must begin with an apology, my friends
That I shed no tears for you when you passed
When I heard the news that you lived no more
That I did not ponder on your existence and ceasing thereof
When I continued with the ritual day to day
For this, I am truly sorry

I must continue with an apology, my friends
That I did not acknowledge the cancer in your bones
When you were still fighting, still breathing
That I put out of my mind even the thought of autocide
When your wife was left widowed, your children fatherless
For this, I am sincerely sorry

I must persist with an apology, my friends
That I did not wish to attend your funerals or memorials
When I was given an invitation and a chance
That I did not comfort the loved ones you left behind
When I dined in your homes with your memories
For this, I am truthfully sorry.

I must push on with an apology, my friends
That even now I cannot grieve for the loss of you
When I sit and write this poem with all left unsaid
That I still cannot bring myself to shed a tear, to weep
When I force myself to dwell on this tragedy
For this, I am earnestly sorry.

I must conclude with an apology, my friends
That I am still inhaling stale air, exhaling my ghost
When you have been torn from your families
That I can still ungratefully demand more than my lot
When your potential was cut down without my caring
For this, I am fervently sorry.

So, so sorry.

And yet I still do not cry.

h.f.m.
an ode to my friends, notably one who died from cancer and left behind her husband and two daughters, and one who committed autocide and left his wife, son, and daughter
J Dec 2016
this is an apology
to all those i have hurt in the past, those i hurt now, and those who i will hurt in the future.

this is an apology
to everybody i've ever known
i'm sorry i wasn't who you thought i was.
i'm sorry i wasn't who you wanted me to be.
i'm sorry i couldn't be there for you, i can't even be there for myself.
i'm sorry i couldn't help you fight off your demons, i couldn't even keep mine at bay.
just know that i tried my best.
those who i couldn't help still haunt me in my nightmares, but ******* it i tried my hardest
to save you from yourself
but you were just a shell of the person i once knew -
there was none of you left for me to grab onto.

this is an apology
to my future boyfriend
i'm sorry i will let you down and be cold and distant - there are things i hope you'll never know and things i can't share with you.
just know that i want to.
i want you to understand why i am the way i am.
i will love you even when it doesn't seem like i do.

to my future husband
i'm sorry i will let you down and be cold and distant.
i will love you with all my heart and soul even in my darkest hour.

this is an apology to all those i let down
and who i will let down in the future.
i'm sorry i wasn't who you thought i was.
i'm sorry i wasn't who you wanted me to be.
i'm sorry i couldn't be there for you, i can't even be there for myself.

this is an apology
i'm so sorry
this has been in my drafts forever and it felt like the right time to finally publish it
dandelionfine Jan 2019
Apology
All hail my sacred ideology.
I bow my head in reverence when I
Spill my emotions on your kitchen floor
Sorry, sorry!
I'll try my best not to do it again;
Please, pry carefully
I can take it if you’re careful
But pray for me when I tumble.
I’ve never quite liked
Having to discuss myself
Or crying
And I strive not to
But sometimes,
She escapes my lips
The jail cell in my head where I detain the things I really need to say
Has a loose lock
Thank God; Apology
Apology is sweet Ambrosia
With one almighty swipe, an Apology
Eradicates the words you said before
Eradicates the feelings you should've kept to yourself
It is courtesy
It is expected
All hail Apology, forsaken Smiter of all things relieving.
Seye Kuyinu Jul 2014
writing letters of apology,
we utter words like,
'weakness in man. the curse!
women, the abominable sin'.


writing letters of apology
we first deny the obvious
welding lies with truth
wrecking trust with words


writing letters of apology,
we quite recall others
who stepped in these traps
wearing shields and helmets

writing letters of apology,
wriggling in pain and depression
we gnash our teeth
words admitting that man is weak.
Gryffindor Jun 2014
Let me begin this with an apology.
An apology for the way I have been acting lately.
I do not know how I've let myself become so selfish,
But you must understand, I'm working on myself,
I just need time to find the me I know I can be.

I've had a re-occurring thought of coming back home, lately.
Just for a week or two,
but every time I try it
Within a hour I'm getting ******* at for words I didn't say
It crumbles my heart

Now don't you forget, I will always remember
You have been there since the very first day
Through the best and the worst,
it has been us against every home we've lived in.
Regardless of the fact that we've been growing apart
I don't want to lose you,
but I just can't find the time to start our YouTube channel.

I'm not blind to the fact, I may lose bits and pieces
of our own personal connection
as we mature,
But you will always be a part of me.

I know I haven't been acting the way some of these words display,
I lost sight of my past, I strayed from our path of fondness, but if you're willing to give it a try,
It's something I'd like to get back.

You are always on my mind,
deep down I know my heart is always crying
Therefore, I hope you might accept my sincerest apology.

And if that is something you are unable to do,
I will understand.
I'm truly sorry.
This is my apology.
Perhaps the worst part about making a decision is that you cannot anticipate how you're going to feel the next day.

And perhaps the worst way to feel is to feel remorse, to feel like you are mourning the death of sometbing you could have prevented.

This is an open apology to all of those people that do not know what to do anymore but have problems keep reoccurring in their lives.

This is an open apology to a boy who all I've ever done is hurt, because even though he's hurt me he's been here for me. I cannot say the same.

This is an open apology on behalf of my defence mechanism, I'm sorry my walls keep going up and I always want to end things with a bang. I'm sorry when I'm mad I ignore you. I'm not a perfect human being.

This is an open apology for the tears I have shed for you and in front of you. You shouldn't have to deal with that; no one should. I should've kept to myself and I didn't and I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for all the pain and confusion I've caused you. I'm sorry I ****** up. And I'm sorry that I can't control how I feel and I can't turn my heart off. Because it's times like these I really wish I could.
Because I'm too stubborn to tell you and you need space
Yuvraj Jha Oct 2013
He was a scrawny little boy, holding his heart up close
With his blurry eyes, his hand was holding a red rose
His heart apologized, his tongue to commit he chose
But she wasn't there to accept his apology.


Its changed, its not the same, its different, she said
The sun, the fire, the flames drifted; have burned the bed
Ashes remain where a city of unquenchable dreams stood
The wind and the ashes blurred his crying apology.


One moment its there, the palace of dreams and bone
Then the fire burns, and burns right out of control
The silence clouds the embers that flicker and stroll
And in the silence no one hears his kneeling apology.


What does he say to make amends?
What does he do so the feeling suspend?
Turn back the time, or from ashes build the city once more
Would only happen when nature roar his undying apology.
Ever given an apology
when embarrassment
was your true feeling?

Is there space between them?
Or is one the wrapping paper?
Silverskin on coffeebean.
Parchment.
Ornate half mask on a dancer in all black
Between Pointed nose and chandileier
Same infastructure as churches
Decorated to make others look to god.
Up, with gargoyales and bells

If embarrassment is the root of an apology.
Does it ring?

What time of day?

Embassy of embarrassment is your apology.
It is no secret, it is kevlar.
Harder to break.

If you are never embarrassed.
You cannot be sorry.

pride and abandon
As honest as they are to a man
Who loves to love
Strike offensive on ears set
To red at your past.
Own the honesty like a magic shield.
You will not have the kevlar of apology
If you do not have the embarrassment.

You'll need to fake it.
This takes delicate work.
Convincing the world you are not selfish
When born in america
Is not easy.

Loving your own failure seems proof enough
To learn from mistakes
But intellect.
Is not the opposite of selfishness.
In abundance you carry both as a burden.

People see you as a man, honest.
People see you as a man, who was not honest.
People see you as a man, selfish.
People see you as a man, who would rather be wrong and manic than human.

And people see through sometimes the armor
Of your *******
And magic armor of your smile

Because you talk too much

When all you want is too be heard,
Your biggest weakness is when someone listens.

You are so powerfull when no one hears you.
And you are so seen when you never open your mouth.

But the second you do.
You are ugly.

Underneath the ornate white mask and pointed nose
Without the smooth pleasentries of a nirror for a face.
You are seen a bulbous boiled blemmish.
A red infected wound for an ear.

It hurts to hear their testimony
Wittnessing you when you are without protection.

This is not embarrassment?
You are not embarrassed to be seen an ugly thing?

And no.
It just hurts.
And the pain callouses, making it more ugly.
Until we got to where we are.

Indestructible in all this broken.
Untouchable from all this infection.
Unlovable from all this attention.

A greiving suit of armor
The unconditional love we reject from our body calls to be accepted!
------------------
I invite you to witness my apology, by sharing with you an excerpt from my book “Release | Inner Conversations To Lead Us Home” titled ‘“Apology” - Chapter “I See Truth”.
--------------------

Demands imposed on you
Expectations trashed over you

All the years I projected
All my anger onto you

Thank you for holding it
Without reciprocating it

Suppressing your sexuality
Vilifying your ****** pleasures

Imposing punishments
For every desire revealed

Shamed you with guilt
For every sin committed

I’m sorry

The cuts inflicted on you
The hits and slaps
The ****** abuse
The verbal manipulation

Held you hostage
For your survival was only
Granted in suffering

Hostility was made the norm
A punching bag I made of you

I’m sorry

I made you the enemy
Used you as a battle ground
For endless wars

Crushed your enjoyment of life
You didn’t deserve this

I’m sorry

For imprisoning you
Depriving you of all your rights
My freedom was only granted
Upon your suppression
Withholding you from expression

Suffocating you
******* life out of you
Intoxicating you with fear
Injecting you with toxic love

I’m sorry

I emptied you
And fed you with voids

Confining you in a box of labels
Shaming you for being disobedient
Trashing you for not conforming

Name calling
Bullying you

I’m sorry

For every pimple I labeled as ugly
For every mark I marked as dirt

For every stretch mark
I cursed with anger
For every curve
I labeled a disgrace
For every pleasure
I tagged as filth

I shamed you every day
Every second of the day
I bathed you with guilt

Covered you with layers of masks
Endless veils of contours
Spent fortunes to cover you
Inflicted so much pain
To change you

I’m sorry
I didn’t know better

For now I see only
Wrinkles of light
Curves of joy

Freckles of love
Pimples of stars
Hair of divine feathers
******* bursts of love

You are a piece of art
The sanctuary of creation

A miracle in existence
You are love in physical form

A divine vessel

Forgive me
I didn’t love you
As you love me

I didn’t love you
As our creator loved us

Thank you for being here - By NwK
'Every cell in your body is eavesdropping on your thoughts.’ - Deepak Chopra

If you ever doubted whether you experienced unconditional love, I would like to humbly say ‘yes you have’. This unconditional love has always been extended to us. Yet too often we are blind to see it, numb to feel it, disconnected to hear it and too consumed by physical obsessions to receive it - We therefore reject to accept it.

Our body is a physical manifestation of love and it is fuelled by an active stream of unconditional energy flow of love.

In every moment of the day, our body is constantly exerting energy and effort to fulfil our needs, commands, demands and instructions. While simultaneously, being forced to listen to our every thought. Even when it stops, it is out of love to gain our attention rather than giving up on us. This is a form of unconditional love, yet we reject to acknowledge its voice by constantly projecting our thoughts on it. The ‘thoughts’ if ever dared to be spoken out loud, will in no doubt be defined by all of us, as ‘Bully Behaviour’.

Just like your brain, the body doesn’t know the difference between a true or false thought. The body listens to every train of thought, stores it as memory and eventually responds to the thought as if, it is true. If we are to agree that our body believes every word our thoughts speak then surely I owe my body a sincere apology.

The body will fulfil your demands once you ask for its forgiveness by acknowledging the weight of the thoughts you have placed on it.  To be open to accept the body is unconditional love extended to us, we must first ask for its forgiveness. In this act we bring awareness to our false thoughts we projected on our body, elevate our relationship with our bodies and reciprocate the unconditional love between mind and body.
Juliana Aug 2021
This is an apology.

No, not a notes app apology.
You deserve more. This apology
is a thank you.

So thank you.
For being the people I needed, right before
I needed you. Thank you, for showing me
to the stars. Thank you, for teaching me
how to feel.

You arrived as a black wave, a dark abyss
coating the horrors yet unknown to me.
You held me near, a guidebook of pages.
I focused on you, blind to the evils surrounding me.

I loved you. I love you. I thank you.

The horrors haven’t left me.
I don’t think they ever will.
A mask will always hide my face,
I will always come running back to you,
I will always think of you when I’m alone.

But these days are brighter than when we met.
These days I look towards
the blue sky, not a dark wave.

These days I focus on joy.

These days, I let my love for you,
be a background, not my home.

So, to you,
I apologize, and I thank you.
For everything.
Sophia L Mar 2019
Sorry,
I love myself more.
david michael May 2012
Who the hell do you think you are? Just waltzing in like Jesus forgiving people all ***** nilly! I wronged you... I broke your heart... i remember that day when i left. you were fairly well composed... i wouldn't dishonor you by saying you begged or anything... but i know you cried! i was there!!! you know how hard it was to leave anyways!!! We were going in opposite directions i knew it was the best thing to do for both of us... i was leaving for college. you were still to be in highschool for 3 more years...i couldnt make you wait for me...it was a sound decision... and so i left... it needed to be done...and then distance...i put geographic miles between us because i loved you i tore out my own heart for you!

and all i needed from you in return was for you to hate me...was that really so unreasonable...i mean i broke your heart some time ago... is a little disdain too much to ask... i mean i can deal with a person hating me for what ever reason... but you simply understand why i left and forgive me... i mean time heals all wounds but **** a little residual dislike? maybe even a if given the option i wouldn't share a meal with this person...this is *******...

i mean...i close my eyes and i still see you crying... and i caused a great deal of those tears...and i haven't really decided to forgive myself for those tears... and in an effort to somewhat make up for what i did... i apologize... and you just say apology accepted...

Know what... nope... acceptance of apology not accepted... and i full realize that this is my not forgiving myself more than anything... making my apology kind of pointless...and yeah i get that until i can forgive myself every relationship i have will ultimately fail... but generally speaking... you have to remain mad at me... and ******* for even attempting to move on...now go and think about what you've done and i'll apologize later...

Ha!!! startling self realizations aside... i sure showed her!
hello there, a
you probably have gotten what you want from me;

my flesh, the gore that you seek
hidden within me, in this concept that
you feel so satisfied with,
getting what's arbitrary

hello there, a
remember, when you used to tell me
that the perception of 'being enough'
lies on the lips of everyone else but me,
especially you?

I guess so.

hello there, a
you probably had the time of your life
from your driven authority
on me, on how I act,
as if I depend on you
to breathe.

probably, the past is past.
but I want your apology.

maybe your apology
would stop me from shaking
every time a good person, a genuine one,
wants my body
for good reasons.

maybe your apology,
would help me sleep at night
and would offer me rest
from running away from
the nightmares you have caused.

maybe your apology,
would stop these thoughts,
that hinders me from
building myself
back up from the
scattered pieces, big, visible enough
to be reassembled, back
to the old me.

i need it; your apology

maybe it would help me heal
maybe it would help me forget
maybe it would

fill the gap,

the void
that you caused.

please, a

I am desperate.
I need to sleep.
I need to breathe.
to trust my body, and somebody.

and maybe, just maybe
your apology,
is enough.

even though, it will never be.
Mick Jun 2015
this is not an apology

I’m sick of saying “sorry”
when I take my clothes off for you

my body is beautiful
even if you never said so

I’m sick of saying “sorry”
for knocking back the bottles
harder than you knocked me around

this is not an apology

I don’t owe you anything
hell I never did

I’m sick of the sorries
because my lips were too slow
my tongue too fast

my hands never met the speed of your measure
the tick tick tick of your metronome

I’m not sorry for walking away
when this was only ever one sided

this is not an apology

and I am glad you’re gone
852

Apology for Her
Be rendered by the Bee—
Herself, without a Parliament
Apology for Me.
kaitlyn Dec 2014
this is my apology
for not being my best.
though I have not
been all the merry
and at my best.

this is my apology
for no inspiration
or motivation to
provide words for
you to read.

this is me giving
you my apology,
also known as
a good deed.
sorry for not posting.. lack of motivation put a stump on my writing train. however I miss 100's of people seeing my poems & I wish it would happen again.
berry Nov 2013
i'm a broken compass and a delayed train and a set of faded curtains that don't quite keep the sun out and the glare they make in your eyes, but i love you in ways i don't know how to say.

so you can spill your guts to me and i'll clean them up with rags made of "sorry's" and that won't make it better but at least i'll have tried. i made this mess.

you are gasping for the air that i took from your lungs and my betrayal-bruised hands are much too slow to fill them at the same time i'm trying to patch up the holes.

eventually we lay together in a swallowing and somber silence, too many ******* miles apart, until i break it in half with not-good-enough words that serve as my version of an apology.

but i swear that i will shatter every bone in my legs before i run from you when you need me most and curse at the doubt that plagues my mind like black death.

i will shake my fists and scream obscenities at the uncertainties and banish every "what if" that begs access to my consciousness.

i will slit the throat of yesterday, and watch it bleed out - know you're more than enough for me, and hate myself for the pills in your body.

for you, you, are more than oxygen and no amount of salted regret that pours from my eyes could ever convey the thoughts my lips can't seem to form.

so i am shrunk to a pitiful half-whisper, muttering over and over and over and over, "i'm right here. i'm right here." and somehow we manage to be okay.

- m.f.
Tom Leveille May 2014
kissing you was like swerving into oncoming traffic

i can never tell if i am more haunted by empty picture frames or the ashes of their contents

you taught me that the saying "pick your battles" meant not answering when love was at the door

sometimes when i drink whiskey i swear i can hear your voice in the creases of my bedsheets & i sleep on the floor

i still catch myself running my hands over things you touched the most, looking for the echoes of your fingertips

i practice things i'll never say to you

i remember the day you told me you didn't like poetry, how "everything's already been said" & how "nothing meaningful can be captured without being cliche" you know, i don't miss you like the sun and moon, i do not miss you like tide bent waves crashing on the shoreline, i miss you like a chernobyl  swingset misses children

rumor has it that drowning is a lot like coming home, that drinking bleach can **** the butterflies in your stomach

for your love of cigarettes, i would have been an ashtray

this halloween i want to dress up as the you when you loved yourself and show up on your doorstep

i never understood what you meant when you said i was an instrument, back when you would cup your hands around my chest and breathe through the holes in my heart, i still wonder if the sounds i made remind you of wind chimes

i never paid much attention to abandoned buildings until i became one

in my dreams all the flowers smell like your perfume

i am the only person who has ever wished for the same snowflake to fall twice

if i could go back, and rewrite the definition of audacity, it would be how when we lost the bet of love, you said "we never shook on it"

i love you, if the feeling is not mutual, please pretend this was a poem

the only apology i want from you, is to have you repeat the names of children we will never have in your parents living room until they *****

we are the same person if you find yourself up at 4am dry heaving promises, or if you are kept awake by the laughter of those who've abandoned you

nobody ever told you that goodbyes taste like the back of stamps

sometimes i'm convinced that the only reason we hug, is so you can check my back for exit wounds
Z Apr 2014
Sorry.

Not for the bruises inscribed in my knees at six years old,
or gravel-shaped cuts dotting my palms
after being kicked off my bike like a rodeo bull,
or even the sliver of a scar on my right index finger
from closing it in a van door when I was seven.

No, I have no remorse
for the innocent;
not a twinge of sympathy regarding the unfortunate results
of relatively harmless careless actions
and playful worth-it memories.

I’m sorry for the other things.

I don’t mean running
or swimming
or dancing
until the soreness embedded itself in my muscles, my
heart racing, pulse pounding
in my ears.
I don’t regret that.

I’m sorry
for the other things.

I’m sorry for hating you.
I’m sorry for all of the
preening and plucking and
shaving and waxing and
hair burning.

I’m sorry for the countless repulsed glances at the spot
where my stomach puffs out
and all of the daggers I stared into the place
where my thighs meet.

I am sorry for getting slashed at
by the perfectly intact glass
of the bathroom mirror, for feeling severed,
just by seeing its reflective surface.

I’m not sorry for taking up space,
but I’m sorry I ever was.

I am sorry for
switch off the light,
lock the door,
the scratch of fingers in my throat
and the starkness of the cold linoleum floor
routines
I practiced because I loathed
the way you curved
and the fatness of my pseudo-waist.

I’m sorry for falling into patterns of self-hate
that I aimed at you. Patterns
not unlike that of an alcoholic,
commencing with afternoon drinks or slightly restricted meals
and ending with wildly depressing stories to tell
and crying on stranger’s floors—
but there is no Lackers of Self-Esteem Anonymous,
no chips to collect
for every time I tell myself I’m beautiful
or, better yet, value more
than my appearance.

I am sorry for thin red lines that ran deep into my wrists
and I am sorry for the faint-inducing heat
that followed,
caused by the oversized and long-sleeved sweatshirts I hopelessly donned
to cover you up.

I’m sorry for discarding that one dress
(that you looked stellar in, by the way)
because I had degenerated into such an unhealthy
and addictively abhorrent relationship with you
that I feared
even the slightest tightness
in my attire.

I’m sorry for habitual body monitoring. I’m sorry
for using my fingers to count calories
and not positive attributes. I’m sorry
for all of the aforementioned repugnant routines
I’ve picked up over the past few years,
whether I’ve stopped them or not,
I’m sorry.

I am.

So, body, when I say
that this is an apology note,
I don’t mean I’m sorry for  the time
I skipped salad and went straight to pizza,
or even the countless dinners when
I put an extra brownie on my plate.

No, I have no remorse for that.
I don’t regret that.

I’m sorry for hating you.

But, like a sinner coming up after sinking
in a blessed lake of holy water,
I am ready to fill my lungs with new breath. I will repent
with the radical act of self-love

and I promise that I will treat you better.
L B Oct 2016
I hold your life inside my own
as you hold me
in your sea of seeds and waving reeds
Beach grass on breast of sand

Ripples of wind
Across my dune
drifts...
your hand

Tracing the mark of a high tide
with my wanderings
Will I be the last?
to recall its highest reach upon the land?
I note the smell of dead and ebb
Would change it all on my return
if it were up to me

And once I started running out
“Wait! O, Wait!”

Black breaks
The sand bars
between the tide pool’s
red whispers of you

I now believe
gulls turn time in their wings
Aisha Ella Jan 2015
This is my apology.

For every time they said you were worthless
And my silence made it seem like I agreed.
For every time I was heartless
When you were a friend in need.

For all the moments you were breathless
From running away from your fears,
And I stood beside you pretending
That I couldn't see your tears.

This is my apology;
For never showing that I cared
The words I wish I could hear from some, the same words I wish I could say to others
its a blue Monday
after Super Sunday
Americas 45th funday
yesterdays spectacle

the dip is done
the broken bones
of buffalo wings
fill giant glad bags

the ridged ripples
of broken Doritos
scattered on the floor
wait for a vacuums hum

dead soldiers rattle
a melodious cascade
the aroma of flat Bud
plunge into recycle bins

ribbed Trojans
dripping bagged ****
rim plastic trash cans
confirm an ****'s frenzy

the game forgotten
commercial reveries remain
seared into the briney mush
of compliant olfactories

collective hallucinations
successfully branded
a new and improved
global consciousness

Madmen Shamans
ebulliently channel
transactional zeitgeists
from the ripped boxes of
Best Buy plasma screens

Monday morning
water cool scuttlebutt
the planet is buzzing about...

Google's cool slap
of IPod clad automatons
the vanquishers of IBM's evil empire
Apple's brave new world is next
("meet the new boss,
same as the old boss?")

we all dug
rolling with Eminem
through the glitzy
streets of Motown

How cool is 8 Mile?
The hoods lookin good
angelic chorus lifts spirits
Swing Low Sweet Chrysler

The artistic types
faun over
the graphic beauty
illustrious aestheticism

moving story line
the epic journey
of the worlds
greatest brand

heroic product marketing pros
rival Jason and the Argonauts
sojourning trans-formative odysseys
of clever packaging and fat tail shelf life

holding precious real estate
of living imaginations
infecting hearts and minds
of future generations

realizing
everything
ends better
with coke

The State Farm Pre-Game
Jimmy Johnson's new coiff
jawed away with his old boss
rattlesnake booted Jerry Jones

A poignant embrace captured in
living color on grand jumbo trons
lording over a cavernous palace
a new stadium for Homeboys

Jimmy J asks Jerry J
"Why you overpaid
for The Boys New
Crib?"

"A billion 4,
a palace for the masses".
Jerry breaks some news
with an impish wink.
"No expense is spared
for the peeps."

"I always make out,
get a good return. I
make a profit. Ain't
America great."

This year Super Bowl
went Hollywood
and installed
a long red carpet.

Mike Strahan, collared
Harrison Ford.
Bagging his greatest sack
on a dazzling red rug.

"How many Super Bowls
is this for you?"
Strahan whistles
through his gaped teeth.

The aging Indiana Jones
came to promote his new flick,
"Cowboys and Aliens"
(I'm told an early Cannes
favorite. And it should be. Spoiler alert,
the movie is a moving story of an American tragedy.
Romo blows another one
throwing an interception in overtime.
The Aliens return it 95 yards for a touchdown.
Boy's lose again. America's Team vanquished by bubble headed Martians.
All of Texas weeps.)

Indy
coolly quips an answer
whipping with sarcasm,
"after today, one."
yuck yuck
lol

Strahan continues
to stalk Ford like a
scrambling quarterback,
"where will you be sitting?"

Ford shrugs
"dunno,
somewhere
up-there,
I guess",
he points to
the lofty
luxury boxes.
Royalty sits
next to God
in Jerry Jones
house of the
people.

Ford dons a green scarf.
He's down with the Pack.
Another sunshine *****
in the seat.

Michael Douglas and Zeta Jones
arrive in time to hear
Keith Urban sing
"Who Wouldn't Want to be Me?"

"He's alive
He's free
Who wouldn't
want to be me?"

Indeed who?

The parade
of heroes
continue.

The walking,talking
little S Corp, LLC's
dance their way
into the stadium
on resplendent
cushions of red.

Terrific brands
all earnestly
questing to
urgently
deliver
messages
to promote
themselves
and plug
shameful
products.

A Black Eye Peas
teaser
blinks onto
my giant
flat screen.

Will I Am
a black man
in a blacker mask
marches down the street
zapping people
with a ray gun.
(fascist culture is so cool, a
little light on liberation,
but **** does he look bad as all get out
in that leather rumble don't **** with me
outfit)

Jamie Foxx on the royal carpet leaks
that he yodeled three tunes
at a pregame party for Jerry's Kids;
T Boone and the Big W among them.

Quick cut
to Jamie's
new movie
Rio.
(I wonder if its
about Mexicano's
crossing the river?)

Wealth
Power
the perfect
image of ourselves
take a pill

I am Limitless
a new movie?
I've seen this one before.
I think I'm watching it now.

Just Go With It
Adam *******,
Jennifer Aniston
Americas sweetheart
teamed with Americas
kosher jokester.

He looks hot
in his droopy
pretend
don't give a ****
orange sweatshirt
and acid washed jeans.

Jennifer's ****, legs
what can you say
about America's sweetheart?
I think Brad Pitt
made a big mistake.

Bill O
is next.
Posturing,
arm wrestles
with the Prez,
shadow boxes
with the Big O.

"Muslim Brotherhoods
Rendition
Mubarack goes off the reservation
knows where the bodies are buried"
***!
***!

(Do we really need a dose of Fox Fear?
Is there no escape from the pernicious harangue?
Don't they know its Super Bowl Sunday?)

Bill O's drive by continues,
"Obamacare,
why do Americans hate you?"
Great journalism by this Fox ****.

Bill O is
haughty,
arrogant,
disrespectful
a despicable bully
and a self serving blow hard.

(My bladder is busting.
Its a great time to take a ****.)

We escape to
the freshness
of Owen Wilson's
smiling face,
playing two hand touch.

His bent nose
shining
he trots about
Jerry's field
carefree as a child.
(Is this a pitch, pass and punt
contest for A Listers?)

Other stars
join the light fun;
goose cheerleaders
give the cabana boys
hand-jobs
and themselves
a well earned blow-job.

Its an **** of photo ops
product placement
a sizzling collection
of dancing brands
prancing on the gridiron
of the New Cowboy field.

Ashton Kutcher
peeks over the shoulder
of a tweeting W.
I'm impressed
W knew
how to use
his thumbs.

Mrs. W's
permanent smile
was clearly visible
from the stadiums
cheapest seats.

Condie sat
way to the right
quietly stewing
lamenting
lost opportunities
of a gig as NFL
Commissioner.

On the stadiums floor
the frenetic dancing
of the
bumping
brands
fast
approaches
ecstatic elation.

Hollywood's version of
Whirling Dervishes; is
immediately stilled
as the solemn portion
of the program
commences.

The Declaration of Independence
is read by a bright galaxy of stars
accompanying armed service personnel
and other diligent American's.

"We hold these truths
to be self evident"

"United colonies
levee war,
dissolve bounds,
our day of allegiance
lives, fortunes and sacred honor
freedom is common sense,
free, equal, united"

CEO's
imprisoned
in Jerry's
luxury boxes
overcome
with
emotion
pound fists
on the glass
smearing
cocktail sauce
on the windows
of the suites.

Illegal
Chicano's
bravely
step forward
with rolls
of Bravo
and Windex
to wipe
it clean.

The focal point
of festivities
seismically
shifts like a
tectonic plate
almost as large
as Jerry's Stadium.

The stampede
of cheers
thunder like
canon shots,
the patriotic
ramparts of
militant
free market
capitalism
supplants the
shallow frivolity
of consumer slavery.

We are
compelled
to kneel
to celebrate a
Eucharist of
nationalism.

My partner explodes,
"Can't watch a football game
and view it for what it is,
a ******* football game."

The Fox
broadcasters
dedicate
this segment
of the show
to our military.

I squirm in my seat.
Sorry,
but the declaration is about
free people in free societies
not militarism.

Next up
dis old cowboy
Sam Elliot.
He knows
how to speak
the language
of real football fans.
Finally, a man of the people.

Sam introduced the cities.
He starts with Pittsburgh.

"Built on steel
a place where
terrible is good
these are the
enduring qualities
of this great American City."

The Steelers
make a timely entrance
onto the floor of the stadium,
as millionaires erupt
shaking their terrible towels.

Sam's
fuax
folkism
for
Fox Sports
continued.

"Green Bay is Title Town
the people never quit.
Crafty veterans are winners
exhorting all to greatness"

Images
of Lombardi's
toothy grin
fills my 72 inch screen.
A visitation by
America's Saint,
the sanctifier
of all competition
anoints the proceeding,
the quest to claim
the trophy named
for the games
very own
Archangel
of the
Gridiron.

The extended gig of
Lombardi's ghost
has haunted America
for over half a century;
has reportedly been seen
stalking the stage
on Broadway.

The anointed
Packers sprint
onto the field and
millionaire cheese heads
taking big bites out of life
erupt in cheers.

My hi def wide screen
made by Sharp reports
Battle of Los Angeles
opens 3/11/11.
The Chicago Code
premiers on Fox
sometime in March.

Walter Payton
Man of The Year Award
is presented
to an NFL Player
watching the game
with the troops
in Iraq.

The millionaires
don't cheer,
but the Fox announcers
are verklempt
overcome with patriotism.

Michelle Lee,
star
of Fox'***** show
Glee,
poses in front of a
sanitized choir
in blue uniforms to sing
America the Beautiful.

The beautiful song
is but an opening act
for the musical centerpiece
Star Spangled Banner.

The cameras cut
to a smiling W.
He can't get into Switzerland
but ******, he won't be turned out
of JJ's OK Corral.

Christina Aguilera
takes center stage.
She mounts
the silver football
crowning the
Holy Logo of the NFL
to sing the hallowed
Star Spangled Banner.

She fumbles her lines!
She forgot the rockets red glare!
The Steelers are crying.
The Packers are angry.
Ice melts from the stadiums roof.
The foundations of Jerry Jones
new stadium shakes.

A fly over of 4 fighters in formation
appears to be unaffected by the flub.
The planes do not crash.
They stay in formation.

The pilots spare Christina
a strafing and drone strike.
The republic remains
secure for now.

An unfamiliar announcer
addresses TV land.
He offers an apology to the fans
who cannot be seated.

The fire marshals
have revoked
Jerry's seating plan.
Greed got the better
of this man of the people.
Cowboy Stadium
is overbooked!

What is happening?
Is this America?
An ATT commercial
arrives just in time.

ATT has a new plan for America.
They encourage us to live social
with the new ATT AG.
Free market solutions
always work best.

Michael Douglas
reads another
patriotic exhortation.

"United we,
see the journey
of Acme Packers
as our journey."

"We see the resolve
of US Steel
as our resolve.
Big dreams
believe the best
journeys are
celebrated together."
(I'm down with that.
Whats good for Jerry Jones
is still good for me.
Right On! Check this stadium.
Power to the people!
It may not apply to the people who
will not be seated but tough nuggies.
This is America ******. Everybody
can't be seated at the table.
Even if they paid for their seat.
This ain't Red China.)

Neon Dion and other inductees
into the Football Hall of Fame
tosses the coin.
Steelers' call tails.
Heads it is.

At half time
The Black Eyed Peas
descend from
an upper Valhalla.

Still attired in
black fascist threads
The Righteous Peas
start wailing as
white metallic minions
dressed as
Imperial Storm Troopers
gallop to surround
their idols.

Precise formations
goose steppin bops
choreographic steps
the visceral *****
perfect counter-point
to swabbles of wiggling Peas.

Slash,
Guns and Roses
guitar hero
gunslinger
strode on stage
winging
this gal of mine
in choreographed
unison with
the leggy
Fergie.

Pumping it louder
the spectacle incites
the dancing
Imperial minions
quick steppin
and fetchin it
as Usher descends
in white unison
to leap and dance
over nasty
black peas.

The Gods
are descending
upon us.
Their words
have become
flesh.

The BEP's bleat
"kids are dying
wheres the love?"
Art does mirror life.

The neon hearts
of cheap
glow sticks
light up
the time
of our lives.

We are
cubed box heads
happily dancing along
the 50 yard line
answering China's
resounding drum
of frantic proletarians
bashing away
neocolonial disgrace
during the opening
ceremony of the worlds
greatest Olympian
display of
the pounding will
of an emerging nation
arriving on the world stage
with urgent insistence.

In America
we party on
every night
swiping
revoked
credit cards
for express lane
exits at the
local Walmart.

We are proud
highly personal
bar codes!

We refuse to be
marked down and flung
into discount bins at a
Tupelo Dollar Store.

Our light of life
flashes across screens
directing the trading pits
at the Chicago Board of Trade.

Each Super Bowl Sunday
souper bowl beggars
collect canned soup
for hungry Americans
at the local Shop and Drop

begging for larmen
boxes of Kraft
freeze dried noodles
and cans of Progresso
the feast of kings

A triumph
of the
Will I Am
BOOM BOOM
Says
Will I Am

I finish my bag of
Cool Ranch Doritos
and lick my partners
fingers clean.

Music Selection
Steve Miller,
Livin in the USA


2/7/11
Oakland
jbm
(WIP)
Indigo Morrison Aug 2014
And I want to say how irrevocably sorry I am…
That I did not open myself to the thought that you were a beacon of beautiful.
I did not love you enough to share you.
I did not give you anything to stand on.
I created a world for you that deterred love,
To deter pain.
Fought happiness to remain unscathed of disappointment.
You have created a black hole of your heart,
Nothing for anyone to fall into,
Grab hold of…
You have created a wall of your heart,
That slows down anything that could give it meaning …
Nothing means anything unless it is in relation to something else, someone else.
It is what matters here,
What we leave here,
For someone else to hold on to…
And you have given just enough to leave remnants of …
someone almost here
Almost alive
Almost open,
But nothing to hold on to.
I am sorry.
You are saddened.
You have created nothing to leave here,
And I never gave you the hope to hold on, that someone might stay here
Share here
Think gold
Of the sun adorning your
Being.
I am sorry that I didn’t see it,
They could have
They would have …
It was up to me
To let you feel…
To share you
//An Apology To Myself…
Terry O'Leary Sep 2015
1
Though still within our infancy,
we strive to thrive, but woefully
we flash and flaunt our 'primacy',
display our trophies pridefully.

Our terra firma ecstasy
destroys survival's harmony,
lays waste to life on land and sea.
Mankind, thy name is vanity!

By doubting Nature's regnancy,
defying laws with levity,
we strain our spheroid's symmetry
(perhaps a fatal fallacy?)

for, swallowed in the 'world of we',
we feed on vain insanity
with thoughts beyond eternity -
so strange when looked at mortally.

No use to seek a remedy
ensconced in ancient prophecy
for if not handled skillfully,
as clay we'll pay the penalty.

                              2
The Moguls rule with cruel decree,
control the crowds like puppetry,
pursuing greed addictively
with no accountability.

The wind, it reeks of Royalty
(awash in waves of perfidy)
while blowing ’cross the peasantry
(eclipsed in clouds of treachery).

The Queen, well steeped in snobbery,
sits, preening proud Her pedigree,
on throne of sculpted ebony
while sipping Sect immodestly;

to sate Her Regal Majesty,
a caviar clad canapé
is served with golden cutlery
by maidens bent submissively.

The King is bailed from bankruptcy
by Knaves who hoodwink artfully
the down-and-outer evictee
who wallows in their lenity.

Forsooth, the Money Monarchy
exalts the dollar dynasty
engaged in highway robbery
by Peacocks plumed in finery.

Yes, Jesters and the Fools agree
to truckle to duplicity
and laugh about it witlessly.
Long live the peon's penury!

                          3
To champion an oddity
(like two times twelve is fifty three)  
one reaches to theology
through paths of circularity.

In bygone trials of travesty
the doubters, draped in blasphemy,
endured the pain and agony
inflicted by the papacy.

Inspired by the Trinity
fanatics bent cosmology
in geocentric fantasy
while Bruno burned for heresy;

and aged women, randomly
accused of wicked witchery
by justice framed in infamy,
were racked and shown no clemency

That epoch of credulity
(when savants fostered sorcery
and practiced ancient alchemy)
arose in dark age quackery

as clerics dripping piety
(while raging, raving rabidly)
pervaded thralled society
with callous inhumanity;

'repent', they bellowed, 'verily,
forsake the world's iniquity,
live lives of want and chastity,
and give your gelt to God through me'.

                    4
The Masters make a mockery
of freedom and democracy
by holding down the uppity,
released from shackled slavery,

now fettered in a factory
else strewn across the Bowery,
still chained in bonds of bigotry,
immersed in seas of poverty.

And colliers, tapping balefully
in sunken-mine solemnity,
yet thrum a mournful monody
some call the digger's elegy.

To children, pale and raggedy
(behind a day of drudgery),
the boss man, oh so gallantly,
bestows a penny, niggardly;

though some are fed (belatedly),
their eyes recede in apathy
while bellies bulge, inflatedly,
with mothers watching, wretchedly.

When met with health adversity
or broken bone infirmity,
the pauper dangles helplessly
with no insurance policy;

and those engulfed in lunacy
are ailing blobs left floating free
in ******-dream obscurity -
a mired madhouse odyssey.

Ignoring mankind's unity,
the rich and poor dichotomy
breeds dismal doomed finality,
eventual nihility.

                        5
Renewing days of chivalry,
wild warriors fighting valiantly
bring freedom neath the gallows tree
while blending blood and burgundy

to toast the slaughtered enemy,
and so convince the colony
to cede with smile on bended knee
and yield her diamonds, silk and tea.

At first they call the cavalry
and then again the infantry,
so proudly primped in panoply,
with arms from finest armory

(embraced in hands so tenderly
bestow benign atrocity) -
and soon atomic weaponry
will extirpate posterity.

                          6
Misusing high technology
(to feed the face of gluttony)
depletes our Rock of energy,
now slowly dying thermally.

Our gadgets breathing CFC
fuel ozone holes' immensity
while cloud bursts, raining acidly,
wilt woods in their entirety,

and rivers, tainted chemically,
polluted biologically,
refill our cups methodically
and drown our souls organically.

Adjusting genes mechanically
may well blot out the bumble bee
annulling fruits' fecundity,
but brings big bucks reliably.

We wager perpetuity
to revel momentarily
in shadow-like obscurity
ignoring the futility,

but if we bet unknowingly
on fickle fate's contingency
and thereby act haphazardly
we're doomed to lose the lottery.

                 7
The modern day bureaucracy
abuses trust egregiously ,
embeds itself in obloquy
and offers no apology.

It paints the past in reverie
to camouflage the tendency
to strip away our privacy
which paves the path to tyranny.

With earlobes lurking furtively
that listen surreptitiously,
and eyeballs peering piercingly
we've lost cerebral sovereignty,

and those who dare to disagree
must hide away in secrecy
else crowd a black facility
(with water board anxiety).

                  8
Yes, sans responsibility,
our marble in this galaxy
will crumble in catastrophe
ere ever reaching puberty…
Cné Aug 2017
when i fall,
i don't just fall in love.
clumsily, i stumble
down and then i land

awkwardly and graceless,
stuttering utterly at the foot
of a handsome man,

blundering an apology
out of breath, ineptly
embarrassed about
my shaky hands,

clambering
to dust myself off,
all the while, i try,
desperately, to stand

wishing i could disappear,
i rise as quickly as i can
waving off any helping hand

so he doesn't see
how incredibly stupid
i must be
Doh
Kara Goss Oct 2012
Arrows bent and broken because the elixir is all it took
Lying by other’s side, I never noticed your curious look
Because I was never meant to be, convinced many nights to be true
But the addition of a proper verb ending could only lead me to you
Often I tried to re-route, who?
The object of this poem into a being of supremacy
My hatred for your positivity when I fed you the meanest thing
My perceived invisibility to reflector window panes
The way each sentence remained pure throughout my twisted games
Speech wrapped in profane, even the strike of your match couldn’t eat my propane
Told lies to my allies, that we were only cordial foe
Placed you into my list, nothing more than a mere John Doe
None had seen that you were the only key to my door
Couldn’t tell I was a perfection seeking ***** to the core
All you needed was to position me and my muzzle to the floor
Was only after filling my pocket book with prospects and stars
But I kept an honest policy in saying I would keep you forever within my bars
How I long for the fog placed on voltage stroked sand inside my cars
Our every imperfection should never be objects of debate
But in your opinion, these bonds aren’t meant to wait
You state them as pipe dreams, but I spark to make them real
Time is my only obstacle, but never prevents me from what I feel
Increased heartbeats and clammy hands need nothing more than half of truth’s peel
Beginnings were only lust from 1,000 word described squares
Visible bones were stretched only to stop piercing blue stares
Questions only lead me to empty in why I committed the seventh sin
The time clocks maturity is solely what keeps you from being kin
Heartbreak’s only defeat is that I never let you win
I despise my desire to eliminate the protection of your thinking cap
If one didn’t look so striking I would let the follicles grow back
I had wished you understood my love for arguments chaotic
You never realized I was nothing but predictable and robotic
I had a sick obsession to push you to limits catatonic
Broke locks on Pandora’s Box because I knew the abundance of my stocks
The only emotion to be shown would peek if you had to kick rocks
Lonely in my current state is never why I create this draft
This triple forked road has no signs leading to your path
Realization it was You, in my many aftermath
Every ray of light wants to be pointed to you at the heights dawn
My only apology is for trying to capture the king without moving a single pawn.
Caitlin Jun 2014
I never knew what beauty was until I saw him
With every imperfection,
With every stumble,
and with every stutter,
My heart knocks hard inside my chest
Trying to escape
Hoping to be captured by his warm, calloused fingers.
And you don't even know who I am

That day you bumped into me
I dropped all my books
You helped me pick them up
And I got to look into your eyes
They were a lovely color
Not even Picasso could recreate
And you still don't even know who I am

We bumped into one another again at a party
You slurred apologies and "excuse me's"
And I laughed it off
Trying to Ignore the fact that your hand was creeping on my waist
Your fingertips igniting sparks in my skin
You held your deep gaze with your Picasso-colored eyes
And dragged me into a room tripping over nothing
I thought you finally knew who I was

The next day at school you bumped into me again
You had dropped my phone
This time you didn't pick it up
And you walked away without a second glance or apology
And you still don't even know who I am
Tom Leveille May 2014
i have racked my mind
trying to figure this whole thing out
the staying, the going
the threads we claim hold us here
& the people who've stopped to play a tune on them
i sometimes relate it
to waking up in waist deep snow
in our former selves
the us we wish we could give one another
the children we've sat on the shelves
trapped, like the looks
we leave behind in snow globes
i sometimes imagine ships
dragging the bottom to the sea of "me"
for sleep & pieces of my old self
to sell to the new one
like history doesn't repeat itself
it gets me wondering
if you too want an apology from the rain
or if you dream of burning family photo albums
and wearing the ashes like perfume
if you're anything like me
how i hope god chokes
on memories of me blowing out candles as a child
i know i shouldn't reference my reader  
but don't you know, the only difference
between alone & lonely is you?
that if my hands could talk
the only thing they'd be able to say
is "dear god we've missed you"
and how can you tell me it isn't love
when even the rain refuses to fall
in places where i've kissed you
i remember the day
you found my smile at a yard sale
it reminds me of how you'll leave
i wonder if when you go
you'll tell yourself
the person in the rear view mirror
is closer than they appear
In the broken kitchen chair he sits
Weeping the tears of a killer
Face buried into the palms of his grisly hands
He sobs uncontrollably for he knows what these hands have done
He cries as a child might having seen his parents murdered
Gasping and struggling to draw in a full breath
Snot running from his nose, curling over the stubble of his upper lip
With a clenched fist he wipes this away
Rage building in his veins, hatred, and remorse
His face grows red as he shakes uncontrollably with anger
Unsure of what to do with himself he rises quickly to his feet
His chair crashing back to the floor behind him
He paces the kitchen back and forth
Feet padding monotonously over checkered linoleum
Suddenly, abruptly, he stops, his gaze drifting to the counter top
As he catches sight of the skinless corpse he screams
A blood curdling scream that chills to the bone
Unable to bare the sight of his disembodied victim any longer
He barrels out of the kitchen
Crashing through doors, splinters of wood marking his trail
In the bathroom he now stands
Sulking in shame before a ***** mirror, staring down at his bare feet
Slowly, he raises his head, eyes squeezed shut
Fearing to find what he might see when he opens them
He pauses here for several moments, collecting his thoughts
Breathing deeply, hoarsely, sporadically huffing
Mustering all of his courage, he makes this final leap, opening his eyes
In the mirror before him he sees all too clearly himself
Wearing a skin that is not his own
Face, hands, feet, all that are exposed
His own pale skin standing out in bold contradiction
To the beautifully bronzed hollow man that he wears
His pale and bony knuckles crash repeatedly into the face of the mirror
Over and over again the thud and the crunch
Broken skin and shattered glass
Blood now smeared across what little reflective surface remains
At last he can see himself no more
Slumping down into a ball on the floor
He sits alone and rocks
The mere shell of a man remains
With dripping hands he tears away a patch of flesh from his thigh
Groping the floor blindly his hand closes over a shard of glass
He is now far too numb to feel pain, dead inside
Gripping tightly to the broken glass this broken man begins to write
Carving his apology into his thigh
Part #2; see "Permanent Press" for Part #1. http://hellopoetry.com/poem/permanent-press-pt-1/
Poetictunes Nov 2016
I am dripping Melanin and honey.
I am black without apology.
Michelle Garcia Nov 2014
i used to write about him
endlessly
in tattered journal pages
and in cheesy poems
but i didn't want to admit it

i didn't want to admit
the fact that he was gone
and writing him into paper
wasn't going to bring back
the person i once knew

i didn't want to admit
that i wasn't in love-
that instead, i was cold and lonely
for endless summer nights
in the pitch black vacuum of my room
when everyone else was sound asleep
and i should've been, too
i guess at that time
i just didn't want to admit
the fact that i was too busy writing
to realize i was just lying to myself

so this is me finally admitting it-
this is my apology letter
for blindly lying to myself,
for believing the miserable lie
that writing about him
would bring us back to life

because so far it hasn't worked
and i'm undeniably sick
of lying to myself
and ignorantly believing it will

— The End —