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"antagonized" poems
Jade -- Stone of the side, The antagonized Side of green Adam, I Smile, cross-legged, Enigmatical, Shifting my clarities. So valuable! How the sun polishes this shoulder! And should The moon, my Indefatigable cousin Rise, with her cancerous pallors, Dragging trees -- Little bushy polyps, Little nets, My visibilities hide. I gleam like a mirror. At this facet the bridegroom arrives Lord of the mirrors! It is himself he guides In among these silk Screens, these rustling appurtenances. I breathe, and the mouth Veil stirs its curtain My eye Veil is A concatenation of rainbows. I am his. Even in his Absence, I Revolve in my Sheath of impossibles, Priceless and quiet Among these parrakeets, macaws! O chatterers Attendants of the eyelash! I shall unloose One feather, like the peacock. Attendants of the lip! I shall unloose One note Shattering The chandelier Of air that all day flies Its crystals A million ignorants. Attendants! Attendants! And at his next step I shall unloose I shall unloose -- From the small jeweled Doll he guards like a heart -- The lioness, The shriek in the bath, The cloak of holes.
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5.1k
Purdah
I heard a whisper. a thought like dust caught the air of my breath and landed on every heartbeat still beating for something more than themselves. a rationale. a stable refuge. these are the things I imbue. nocturnal nonsense swirled about until your gaze caught my thoughts. I saw your eyes behind mine. emancipated, delegated, underrated and unillustrated, how can I better express myself. I lost myself trying to lose you. I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders to your front door step and left it with a key. Walk a mile in my shoes and still ask me who's the enemy. I am. I am my own downfall. masquerades never suited me yet I still wore it with agony. Antagonized from every side, the lies lie far between you and I. I succeeded in forgetting something that never happened and got trapped inside those angel eyes. remain a nuisance, my misguided matrimony. gravity awaits, for we are all destined to fall.
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Nov 30, 2013
Nov 30, 2013 at 5:57 AM UTC
drunk
You and I jokingly started. You said to me, "I love you," With a joke attached. I replied back, "I love you too," With my heart attached. I felt nothing as you held it. Maybe because it slowly melted By your undying rage of me. I still ask why you loved me. Only to throw me like a clay frisbee, and shoot with a shotgun shell Imbued by the bitterness of you. Pieces of it are left and it felt like hell. I antagonized you, I despised you, I loathed you, But I never stopped loving you. I never stopped caring for you. I hate you for leaving me. I hate you for teaching me how to love. I hate you for not teaching me how to stop loving you.
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Jul 2, 2017
Jul 2, 2017 at 12:16 AM UTC
"To the Girl Who Taught Me How to Love"
A man stands. overlooking two different visions. Two different choices. On the left he gazed over the glorious modernized utopia. Tall prominent skyscrapers, gleaming in the dazzling pure sunlight. Clinical white rows of spacious suburbia. Unnaturally green gardens of perfectly shaped, perfectly cut square grass accompanying the houses. Polished, scentless people strolled down the un-littered perfection of the linear streets. Enormous great smiles featured on the faces of all. The urban paradise. Biblical, eden in practise, sanctity. Economical bliss. Unpolluted, crime free, social perfection. No inequality, racism, no hatred only love among broters. No depression. The endless rows stretched glorious miles, convenience, supermarkets, brand new glistening, hospitals, all necessity in perfect working order. No unemployment, no political unrest. Every man among equals. Utopia. On the right hand side, wretched poverty as far as the eye can see. Cramped, overwhelmed shanty towns. Terrified people, dragging themselves through diseased streets. Crippling illness plaguing the antagonized masses. There is no employment here, no glistening new buildings. Only the decaying festering ruins of lifetimes of selfishness. Hatred, jealousy, paranoia, neurotic fluttering harpy’s, harlequins of the night. Plagued minds, plagued bodies. Gargantuan monsters of men rose from the rubble. Demented. Lava flows freely through the crumbling streets. There are no trees here, no vegetation, only blackened earth. Blackened with the ****** despair of man. Only anguish in this land. The black sun burns with hateful rage in the sooty, cloudy toxic sky, the only rain falls as corpses falling from sardine cans to the sky. Burnt out cancerous lungs, filled with sulphurous air from the giant volcano's of dead minds, spewing deadly chemicals into the already uninhabitable environment. The demons of despair stalk this land, endlessly wallowing in there own self-loathing, amongst other vile things. The decision resting on his shoulders governs life for all men, all men to come. His left side, yearning for paradise, freedom, equality for all, peace, communal gain. His right side leaning towards narcissistic self gain. Taking the world for himself, watching alone the setting of the poisoned blck sun, poisoned by his greed. He walked forward, leaving the realms of choice behind him. The future was his to choose.
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Apr 10, 2012
Apr 10, 2012 at 4:45 PM UTC
The Choices of Man
A man stands. overlooking two different visions. Two different choices. On the left he gazed over the glorious modernized utopia. Tall prominent skyscrapers, gleaming in the dazzling pure sunlight. Clinical white rows of spacious suburbia. Unnaturally green gardens of perfectly shaped, perfectly cut square grass accompanying the houses. Polished, scentless people strolled down the un-littered perfection of the linear streets. Enormous great smiles featured on the faces of all. The urban paradise. Biblical, eden in practise, sanctity. Economical bliss. Unpolluted, crime free, social perfection. No inequality, racism, no hatred only love among broters. No depression. The endless rows stretched glorious miles, convenience, supermarkets, brand new glistening, hospitals, all necessity in perfect working order. No unemployment, no political unrest. Every man among equals. Utopia. On the right hand side, wretched poverty as far as the eye can see. Cramped, overwhelmed shanty towns. Terrified people, dragging themselves through diseased streets. Crippling illness plaguing the antagonized masses. There is no employment here, no glistening new buildings. Only the decaying festering ruins of lifetimes of selfishness. Hatred, jealousy, paranoia, neurotic fluttering harpy’s, harlequins of the night. Plagued minds, plagued bodies. Gargantuan monsters of men rose from the rubble. Demented. Lava flows freely through the crumbling streets. There are no trees here, no vegetation, only blackened earth. Blackened with the ****** despair of man. Only anguish in this land. The black sun burns with hateful rage in the sooty, cloudy toxic sky, the only rain falls as corpses falling from sardine cans to the sky. Burnt out cancerous lungs, filled with sulphurous air from the giant volcano's of dead minds, spewing deadly chemicals into the already uninhabitable environment. The demons of despair stalk this land, endlessly wallowing in there own self-loathing, amongst other vile things. The decision resting on his shoulders governs life for all men, all men to come. His left side, yearning for paradise, freedom, equality for all, peace, communal gain. His right side leaning towards narcissistic self gain. Taking the world for himself, watching alone the setting of the poisoned blck sun, poisoned by his greed. He walked forward, leaving the realms of choice behind him. The future was his to choose.
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6
Convulsed, Antagonized and Exasperated! That your drive, your will has been amputated! I told you tomorrow, We'll start anew, Its not been tough to just get through, To just get by, to just live life, Its easier to lie, to live without strife, Your a hollow shell built by your own insistence! A putrid scab of your former existence! Your not worth it! your not worth the air! How can you breathe! how can you bare! To look at life with such vaulted illusion! You've left me in such utter confusion! I don’t know how you are so angry, After all, it was your absence that made me, No ones here to help hold me up, No one here, I’ve ran out of luck, So ill just sit back, let life run its course, Just let go, ignore the remorse, I’m done, its time to take action! This is over, **** your satisfaction! She held your hand! a visage of hope! He held you up! He helped you to cope! They looked at you! a look so beguiled! Mother and father! look straight at their child! Don’t bring that up, Its not even fair, Its such a lie, that they ever cared, I’m all alone that’s the way it should be, So walk away and let me be me, So sorry for yourself when its others you hurt! Your personality shall break unless you now reassert! The tears from your mother should bring you such pain! Your joy ride is over! its time for my REIGN! ILL BE SCRATCHING AND SCREAMING AND GASPING FOR AIR! MY WILL REMAINS UNBROKEN, THIS IS OVER I SWEAR! THIS CHANGE YOU'LL SEE, IT WILL BE SO UNTYPICAL! THIS CHANGE IN ME! THIS CHANGE WILL BE BIBLICAL!
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Dec 15, 2011
Dec 15, 2011 at 2:11 PM UTC
Arguing with myself
Convulsed, Antagonized and Exasperated! That your drive, your will has been amputated! I told you tomorrow, We'll start anew, Its not been tough to just get through, To just get by, to just live life, Its easier to lie, to live without strife, Your a hollow shell built by your own insistence! A putrid scab of your former existence! Your not worth it! your not worth the air! How can you breathe! how can you bare! To look at life with such vaulted illusion! You've left me in such utter confusion! I don’t know how you are so angry, After all, it was your absence that made me, No ones here to help hold me up, No one here, I’ve ran out of luck, So ill just sit back, let life run its course, Just let go, ignore the remorse, I’m done, its time to take action! This is over, **** your satisfaction! She held your hand! a visage of hope! He held you up! He helped you to cope! They looked at you! a look so beguiled! Mother and father! look straight at their child! Don’t bring that up, Its not even fair, Its such a lie, that they ever cared, I’m all alone that’s the way it should be, So walk away and let me be me, So sorry for yourself when its others you hurt! Your personality shall break unless you now reassert! The tears from your mother should bring you such pain! Your joy ride is over! its time for my REIGN! ILL BE SCRATCHING AND SCREAMING AND GASPING FOR AIR! MY WILL REMAINS UNBROKEN, THIS IS OVER I SWEAR! THIS CHANGE YOU'LL SEE, IT WILL BE SO UNTYPICAL! THIS CHANGE IN ME! THIS CHANGE WILL BE BIBLICAL!
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36
in my mind, i work at a third world convention, bleeding saliva and avocado paint behind a mule's *** like seeking coverage was difficult or something. now it's past the pillaging of painted americans, valleys once rolled with corn and feather's weight, but seized by nation's serious fathers. the table creaks as sister literally screams, "Grace!" and the cotton tablecloth even bows its head in poultry's spicy scent. i said it was past, un-remembered after a murderer (more than) antagonized another's HDTV (bold, high, pronounces, and shrieks more shivering-ly than when a spider stepped on my toe). now there are halos beginning to blush, vibratos crescendoing to the last of leaf's sultry breath. Noel was large-eyed, carols twirling lighter than snow. they made the Lord wonderous, because o, my baby king, the manger was not a velvet cushion, and neither will his (or your) days to come.
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Nov 28, 2011
Nov 28, 2011 at 6:42 PM UTC
inhaling bethlehem
You see, you were neither my friend nor foe but remember how you despised those who interfered in your affairs? The ones who made your worse nightmare become a reality within your own mind? They are the reason your partnership fell to pieces. They are the reason you are no longer but your other half has now become mine and you, my foe. For what you don't see is that you are now not only one of those who destroyed you, but you are the worst offender of all as you know how it feels to be antagonized and pushed to your emotional limits. You will curse my partnership into the same fate as yours was. It will  be doomed if you choose to hold onto the haunting memories of your past rather than embrace your life for how it has become and who you have become.  **Face your demons before they too become mine and you completely lose your mind.  **
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Dec 5, 2012
Dec 5, 2012 at 10:25 AM UTC
Friend nor Foe
In times when the heart is lodged somewhere between the brain and the throat I try to force it back down to its chambers, before I choke, or before it strangles my head's precious, antagonized gland. There's only one way to avoid certain tragedy, and that's to look, feel, taste. It's either make mental tracks- run and jump- or drown. It's at these moments when I start playing tricks on my mind. Doing this is easier than you may think. Just stop all thought, for the mind's constant churning chafes the heart. Now, allow your hungry eyes to sidle to and fro- let them wander- dare to wonder about what hasn't, but don't idle even for a minute on what has, or what couldn't. As long as you can avoid relapse, you might even venture into what could, as long as it's new and fresh. As long as it isn't some woeful inquiry growing stale since last night. Then once you find yourself daydreaming, or better yet, DOING, you are halfway there. You've made it uphill and only need to coast down- down the lovely unkempt slope of impulse without crashing. Do something new, preferrably silly- stay away from dangerous- go somewhere new, talk to a stranger, eat something expensive, drink a little, burp loudly. Go wild, steer away from crazy, but cruise through hilarity. Bombard yourself with creative juices, **** your phone, bury your watch, put on your shoes and let yourself laugh. Once you've had some laughs, cue up some Planet Earth -Kung Fu's good too- roll a joint. Smoke it. Grab a pizza, fall asleep with the television on then wake up with a smile on your face. Trust me, it won't come off in the shower, and trust me your heart's ok. You're gonna be just fine.
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Jul 26, 2012
Jul 26, 2012 at 12:14 PM UTC
How to play tricks on your mind
In times when the heart is lodged somewhere between the brain and the throat I try to force it back down to its chambers, before I choke, or before it strangles my head's precious, antagonized gland. There's only one way to avoid certain tragedy, and that's to look, feel, taste. It's either make mental tracks- run and jump- or drown. It's at these moments when I start playing tricks on my mind. Doing this is easier than you may think. Just stop all thought, for the mind's constant churning chafes the heart. Now, allow your hungry eyes to sidle to and fro- let them wander- dare to wonder about what hasn't, but don't idle even for a minute on what has, or what couldn't. As long as you can avoid relapse, you might even venture into what could, as long as it's new and fresh. As long as it isn't some woeful inquiry growing stale since last night. Then once you find yourself daydreaming, or better yet, DOING, you are halfway there. You've made it uphill and only need to coast down- down the lovely unkempt slope of impulse without crashing. Do something new, preferrably silly- stay away from dangerous- go somewhere new, talk to a stranger, eat something expensive, drink a little, burp loudly. Go wild, steer away from crazy, but cruise through hilarity. Bombard yourself with creative juices, **** your phone, bury your watch, put on your shoes and let yourself laugh. Once you've had some laughs, cue up some Planet Earth -Kung Fu's good too- roll a joint. Smoke it. Grab a pizza, fall asleep with the television on then wake up with a smile on your face. Trust me, it won't come off in the shower, and trust me your heart's ok. You're gonna be just fine.
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56
Relay the message There's something I'm detecting I promise to respect it But if he's being neglectful Let me become careful Caresome Deceitless Excuse my grammar Im speechless Broad day Thinking Dreaming Wishing That he's slippin Falling right off the edge into the ocean Leaving your heart open Right? Open ? When he become irresponsible and lock his keys behind the closed door; tell me that he's the only one who can't access room in your heart!!! Ocean no! I hope that you don't dive in behind him and allow yourself to sway from captain to captain I hate to be captious But Mermaids aren't meant to be captured by a man who's heart is fractured My net is full of caress So while the both of you is near the cliff; I'm somewhere onshore Ready to reel you in with so much lure Tell him Tell him now That when he clown Which results into your frowns Let him know that I'm in town Right around the corner Right up the street No where far On the same boulevard But if you're smart This is where you'll start Where you'll Start To finish Just end it !! I know I don't have your heart, but I'm still in it You know how I know? Because of his senses His senses, make him ask you; who is it? Who's the guy? "How is it that I make you feel low And somehow your still high" His blemish My good intentions His senses See how tense he is Makes my wish list So I'm whispering "Do it, do it, do it" And you are listening But your lips isn't twitching You kno he'll lose it Your eyes are glistening His eyes is blistering I wish I was present for witnessing Strange because I'm smiling for your cries Waiting for you to tell him goodbye So I can actualize on his lies. Capitalize on his disguise Tell him Tell him that it's me, who he thought that he was when he was not being truthful His creativity and imagination Is ambiguous and hellacious Let him know that he have your heart, but it belong to someone else Also make it clear that he antagonized on someone else's prize And while your eyes are teary; you laugh and tell him that someone else has come to title him as your last At this point He knew this wasn't gonna last, but he must ask And ask Again and again Who is he? Then you tell him ... Tell him that he met me before and I looked him dead in the eyes like a man but didn't shake his hand. ... Tell him that I basically told him
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Apr 9, 2013
Apr 9, 2013 at 4:33 AM UTC
Tell Him What's Intuitive
Relay the message There's something I'm detecting I promise to respect it But if he's being neglectful Let me become careful Caresome Deceitless Excuse my grammar Im speechless Broad day Thinking Dreaming Wishing That he's slippin Falling right off the edge into the ocean Leaving your heart open Right? Open ? When he become irresponsible and lock his keys behind the closed door; tell me that he's the only one who can't access room in your heart!!! Ocean no! I hope that you don't dive in behind him and allow yourself to sway from captain to captain I hate to be captious But Mermaids aren't meant to be captured by a man who's heart is fractured My net is full of caress So while the both of you is near the cliff; I'm somewhere onshore Ready to reel you in with so much lure Tell him Tell him now That when he clown Which results into your frowns Let him know that I'm in town Right around the corner Right up the street No where far On the same boulevard But if you're smart This is where you'll start Where you'll Start To finish Just end it !! I know I don't have your heart, but I'm still in it You know how I know? Because of his senses His senses, make him ask you; who is it? Who's the guy? "How is it that I make you feel low And somehow your still high" His blemish My good intentions His senses See how tense he is Makes my wish list So I'm whispering "Do it, do it, do it" And you are listening But your lips isn't twitching You kno he'll lose it Your eyes are glistening His eyes is blistering I wish I was present for witnessing Strange because I'm smiling for your cries Waiting for you to tell him goodbye So I can actualize on his lies. Capitalize on his disguise Tell him Tell him that it's me, who he thought that he was when he was not being truthful His creativity and imagination Is ambiguous and hellacious Let him know that he have your heart, but it belong to someone else Also make it clear that he antagonized on someone else's prize And while your eyes are teary; you laugh and tell him that someone else has come to title him as your last At this point He knew this wasn't gonna last, but he must ask And ask Again and again Who is he? Then you tell him ... Tell him that he met me before and I looked him dead in the eyes like a man but didn't shake his hand. ... Tell him that I basically told him
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78
The issue with the Ego isn't the Ego itself: like many other aspects of sentient Life, Intention and Willpower navigate a Vessel whither it may will to be- consciously or no! True Wisdom is subtle: implicit in every single last one of the ten-thousand things. Incidentally, such subtlety nests grave danger: such capacity to be overlooked or ignored- manipulated, extorted, distorted; abused, neglected: abandoned. Antagonized. Beware. Tread lightly. Please think and act with utmost care. Be as Tao; as the rest. Non-seek Zen mind. Everything is precisely as it must be, with exception of Human mentality. Follow your Heart, but utilize thy Brain. Find a purpose and learn from the pain. Through just struggle does One justly gain. By Empathy, could we all do just the same? Let's just try it and see, shall we? The Force takes care of it's own. Thank you for reading. Blessings upon thy Path. -------- ----- --- -- - -
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Apr 13, 2015
Apr 13, 2015 at 5:07 PM UTC
The Navigators
Limbs have faltered amidst a fast-paced act, Liquid fills you up. Antagonized in desperation, Reach out for the gun. This moment of ecstatic flavour Brought misery. The shivers, the strangest twists. Defiler is you. Night is filled with red light from the sun And white-red mixture. Calls upon you the servant of god, With vicious intentions. Violate your existence, They forced the life out of you. In the end it all comes in place, The void is within. Who expected nothing less of you, Whose eyes filled with tears, They would follow you and die, They'd always protect you. Would you follow their lead into light, Or succumb to this weakness? The fear of hurting them pains your mind. Defiled defiler. May never escape this nightmare unscathed, May never reside in this homeland. The pain subsides yet the emptiness grows, The one that was you is no longer. They would have never understood, You'd never agree for a half-life. Trapped in a cage by events of the night, Your will still roams free on the inside.
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Jul 29, 2020
Jul 29, 2020 at 2:43 PM UTC
A victim. Defiler.
Brother moons chalky, saturnine crescent could barely penetrate the giant’s match-stick forest: its burnished copper foliage would remain latent, for now. This night antagonized                           our souls, darker when I stared into its vacuous depths than when glanced from my minds periphery. Pervasive, it exploited the valleys repose. Crystal. Morning’s volition was heralded with a transient thaw. December’s waking drafts spoke ardently of a daughter lost: for centuries a solitary bloom, sustained by unseen conduits, grew upon the surface of a fallow field. Now it lay,                                        defiled by my hand. Her blood-stained spray seeped into the earths russet tunic. Dawn’s sentries: two soot black crows, stalked a field’s beaded hawthorn seam as a                                                 church knells cadence punctuated the airs discourse from its holy precipice; death, death, death sonorous on my ear. ©Thomas Gabriel
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Dec 4, 2011
Dec 4, 2011 at 6:40 PM UTC
December 3.
Alone in the city of melancholy, I feel the street sides smoldering my hazy eyelids. At night the moons of lanterns touch me only marginally and wing cracked moths circle the illuminated edges of the panel building's decayed balcony - gentle; endlessly. Infinite depths of gray beneath the stone canyon skin of 1980's asphalt-wrinkled face of my ardently antagonized Berlin. © fey (17/08/23)
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Aug 17, 2023
Aug 17, 2023 at 10:58 AM UTC
Alone in the city of melancholy
You who've found love, I hope that you see, The creative power of its majesty, And do seek not by the power of Love, To change once a hawk, into a dove. Love's power is, the Pow'r above all, To give response, To answer this call: "Write stories large of thy life on earth; Passing those on through giving of birth. Birth ye a child, or birth ye a song, The power of Love is thy chance to live on. Antagonized by hate and Apathy, The sin is letting these define ye." This, the command received from on high, A creator's demand: Go forth, multiply. Multiply Love, multiply Trust Multiply Joy in all of us. Given to answer our quest for our why. The Creator's answer: my love, multiply.
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Nov 28, 2012
Nov 28, 2012 at 11:28 PM UTC
Love's Greatest Power
sometimes i feel like I'm walking up a down staircase like the whole world is moving in one harmonious direction and I'm lost in a sea of roads antagonized by dead ends my head feels crazy bolts are unscrewed and wires are crossed a mechanical malfunction sometimes i am up up up up my skin tingles with activity dynamite in under the surface ready to be detonated vibrations circulate and cells dance with one another i am wild animalistic invincible sometimes i am down down down down darkened hope reigns a wave of black water runs around me in circles my lungs spill over with it and i suffocate my throat burns with sorrow suspended in pure agony as the waves laugh and swallow me i am devoured by ebony terrorized by my own thoughts body stuck in a tar of sadness i feel death smile down on my distortion he waits for the waves to finally drown me Some times i am red red red red anger is all there is it clouds my vision making my ember eyes glow fire runs through my blood feeding into my muscles pure rage envelops me in its choke hold and i lose control violence plays my core like a set of flaming drums furry has made a home in my chest covered in red, the anger waxes consuming me in a blood moon up down red up down red a see-saw in my head.
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Mar 29, 2011
Mar 29, 2011 at 10:10 PM UTC
See-saw.
tug of war at each end of my mind one saying stay and one saying fight each time stay wins I'm paralyzed each time fight wins I'm antagonized but when I'm stuck in the center ___ I'd rather just cut the rope altogether ~ ~
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Aug 15, 2018
Aug 15, 2018 at 5:32 AM UTC
yinyang and goodbye
life seized on the ledge, imagination wild and weary, thereupon. timid footing curled at the precipice, mindful and curious, both, uniquely mine, undoubtedly present. the best and the least of me stand at my sides uncertain of the future, puzzled by vistas beheld, the obscurity of chance sprawled athwart; the pageantry of it all. naive romance waxes, as a caucophony swells within, memories cradling the past, but sand falls through hands even when clenched. the noise finally subsides to a single note of wonder: to realize, the best thing about uncertainty is to be antagonized by its potential- knowing its out there, life, there for the taking. and of that, i am certain.
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Aug 18, 2013
Aug 18, 2013 at 12:42 AM UTC
bull by the horns
Where are you to hold me when I need you to? Where are the understanding thoughts others have of my imperfections when I can't help myself either? Why do the horrid memories replay in my hippocampus when I thought I already turned them off? Where is my mania to squash my depression half? Why do I seem helpless and wait forever to succeed in the adult world? Why do I get so intensely excited then become an antagonistic monster? Why did I not know then what I know now? Becoming a victim completely unaware. Proved wrong and I strip to be the bad one so everyone shuts up. Humiliated and hurt and everyone looks out for me. Naive behavior and hunger too strong I steal from others. Tears swelling in front of small children. A girl who wanted nothing but for me to suffer. A boy who wanted nothing but my genitals. A troubled woman who wanted nothing but my time. A guy who wanted nothing but for me to be his ***** A guy who possessed me, Though everyone at some point Did. I've been owned, abused, humiliated, hurt, assaulted, victimized, bullied, made fun of, attempted to **** myself, blown off, screamed at, fought with, admonished, antagonized, used, looked down on, bossed around, yelled at, pushed, shoved, thrown away. Today, I have love that is a beautiful miracle and proof I will be loved without being pushed into what's only for him. I have a few good friends who care and don't grab my hand. I occasionally hate who I'm becoming when the anger within is the kraken in my body swerves herself around me inside slowly and aggressively. Only way she comes out is through profane vulgarity in my words and through my lips. They're gone, They're not mine, They're hurtful, But remember they're only for a moment. I'll be done with the anger one day someday, and the kraken is just a myth. Though my traumatic stories may seem like a myth too, be grateful I'm still here and smiling.:)
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Aug 8, 2016
Aug 8, 2016 at 10:20 PM UTC
The Kraken Within Me
Where are you to hold me when I need you to? Where are the understanding thoughts others have of my imperfections when I can't help myself either? Why do the horrid memories replay in my hippocampus when I thought I already turned them off? Where is my mania to squash my depression half? Why do I seem helpless and wait forever to succeed in the adult world? Why do I get so intensely excited then become an antagonistic monster? Why did I not know then what I know now? Becoming a victim completely unaware. Proved wrong and I strip to be the bad one so everyone shuts up. Humiliated and hurt and everyone looks out for me. Naive behavior and hunger too strong I steal from others. Tears swelling in front of small children. A girl who wanted nothing but for me to suffer. A boy who wanted nothing but my genitals. A troubled woman who wanted nothing but my time. A guy who wanted nothing but for me to be his ***** A guy who possessed me, Though everyone at some point Did. I've been owned, abused, humiliated, hurt, assaulted, victimized, bullied, made fun of, attempted to **** myself, blown off, screamed at, fought with, admonished, antagonized, used, looked down on, bossed around, yelled at, pushed, shoved, thrown away. Today, I have love that is a beautiful miracle and proof I will be loved without being pushed into what's only for him. I have a few good friends who care and don't grab my hand. I occasionally hate who I'm becoming when the anger within is the kraken in my body swerves herself around me inside slowly and aggressively. Only way she comes out is through profane vulgarity in my words and through my lips. They're gone, They're not mine, They're hurtful, But remember they're only for a moment. I'll be done with the anger one day someday, and the kraken is just a myth. Though my traumatic stories may seem like a myth too, be grateful I'm still here and smiling.:)
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antagonized, sullen, and unshakeable, I rest under the shade of a heavy tree, a crepuscular creature who lives most at edged breaks of sun, dusk and dawn my stamina grows in strength, as does my patience and durability, but I know my insatiable pursuits will fade, or they'll be yielding; if I want things, I will get them, I will have them, and they are mine I look over, past the horizontal thing, "edge" with all the weariness of a battle-scarred lion, silver-striped with the accumulated congealed ****** flesh of foes under my scuttling claws that scamper down the ridges of the slower, quieter animals that I have singled out as mine, until I am done with games and rip out spines I am not long in tooth, but I am experienced enough, to the point, where I do not want to fight very long for what I have earned, and for what is entitled to me, and if I must fight long, afterwards, I am vindictive I look at the horizon, with all the prowess possessed in my being, in my breeding, ingrained in my bones I have a greater strength than I have even begun to even actualize, and I just only started flexing, slowly I am greedy for the world, every bad beast and cur, with marrow in their bones, I wish to tussle with, I will be ready for you, I await you with a sly grin, come call me at home, for I will be biding, till then
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May 20, 2013
May 20, 2013 at 12:58 AM UTC
creature, come call, I am hungry
She sat next to me, Her feet betwixt mine. Looked at me dearly, And punched me easily. I yelped, and cocked, I took one look at her And punched her forcefully, Square on her face, unhesitantly. Surprised and antagonized, Her eyebrows questioned, "Why the hell?" I bemoaned Her face red, she left me.
0
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 5:24 AM UTC
Punches
All dressed up for the ball I remain locked away From the dancing floor of love Marooned on the side lines As couples dance and swing Within there completed circles Am I to sing on the roof tops Dance naked in the rain What will it be For them to see As I silently beg like a lost child I wonder around a giant maze Desperately looking for the center And only find many dead ends Searching with a fear As a chasing Minotaur Is on my back As every romantic triumph Dissolves into a chaotic car crash I throw myself into A swamp of disgust I am the old romantic steam Engine all run out of puff Stationed on the platform of self I am just a novel excursion For the kind soul to play Placed so so far away In an antagonized frustration I hammer the last nail into The coffin of the other as all Thoughts and dreams of a Partner die buried in the ground Bare foot on pebbles I wobble in the thought Of a life with aloneness As many beasts surround me Wishing to devour my happiness Like a T-REX! I stand tall And I gobble , them all ! up YUMMY YUMMY For my heart reins Like a king over all As it is my heart that sparkles When the music plays With many dashes and flashes Fluctuating colors within my heart I am a walking road show A disco fever With the Minotaur slain I find the center of my maze No longer at the mercy Of the fickle other Released from the confines Of my political mind A million jack in the boxes Spring out of me As I am surprised By the many treasures The Lord placed in me As many ring and sing All birds collect in me In the end the old romantic Finds his steam and iron strength Puff puff puff into the country I chug As i whined myself into Gods beauty The death of the other Can be the beginning A deeper adventure Into your sweet self So off we all chug
0
Mar 1, 2014
Mar 1, 2014 at 3:32 PM UTC
KILLING THE OTHER TO FIND SELF
All dressed up for the ball I remain locked away From the dancing floor of love Marooned on the side lines As couples dance and swing Within there completed circles Am I to sing on the roof tops Dance naked in the rain What will it be For them to see As I silently beg like a lost child I wonder around a giant maze Desperately looking for the center And only find many dead ends Searching with a fear As a chasing Minotaur Is on my back As every romantic triumph Dissolves into a chaotic car crash I throw myself into A swamp of disgust I am the old romantic steam Engine all run out of puff Stationed on the platform of self I am just a novel excursion For the kind soul to play Placed so so far away In an antagonized frustration I hammer the last nail into The coffin of the other as all Thoughts and dreams of a Partner die buried in the ground Bare foot on pebbles I wobble in the thought Of a life with aloneness As many beasts surround me Wishing to devour my happiness Like a T-REX! I stand tall And I gobble , them all ! up YUMMY YUMMY For my heart reins Like a king over all As it is my heart that sparkles When the music plays With many dashes and flashes Fluctuating colors within my heart I am a walking road show A disco fever With the Minotaur slain I find the center of my maze No longer at the mercy Of the fickle other Released from the confines Of my political mind A million jack in the boxes Spring out of me As I am surprised By the many treasures The Lord placed in me As many ring and sing All birds collect in me In the end the old romantic Finds his steam and iron strength Puff puff puff into the country I chug As i whined myself into Gods beauty The death of the other Can be the beginning A deeper adventure Into your sweet self So off we all chug
Continue reading...
71
Inasmuch I had found confort within a self unbeknown, inasmuch I had found peace within solitude of reality, I sought objective truth above all to cure mine ailing curiosity. Be it I suffer more tomorrow. Be it mine eyes see darkness in the light of truth. I have discovered the device of mine own undoing mayhaps. For under further introspection, the reality of the self has become falsified. The belief of joy as divine? A mere chemical addiction. The concept of deity? A mere pretense of faith. The mechanics of value dissected, exposing their arbitrary innards. For more unwelcome as it may be, ironic at its purest, the deeper I dig, the more grave it comes to be. The more literality I come to accept, the less literate I come to be. Washing off all purity after affirming my sins, my being becomes one with nature; realizing the amoral animal within. Within... Albeit a minor change animate. Albeit a subtle suggestion of expression, or so I had thought. Now stripped internally of the faulty concepts: of the subjective meaning, of the unobtainable purpose, of the illusionary empathy, of the misguided sympathy-- Constructs now ****** and broken for their purpose within. Constructs antagonized for their naughtness without. Naught of important significance. Culling of transcendent thought unto an impulsive materialism. nothing more than what is observed shall be of any use to me. I am enlightened. And the price of this enlightenment?... Only my soul.
0
Nov 30, 2019
Nov 30, 2019 at 7:49 AM UTC
The Death of Gnosis
The Fog n Funk is choking! It’s so hot it’s burnin’ my internals! The best ideas come out, When your head is stuffed in a thought I said a yeahhhhh… (4x) Why not write it down?? The time to rake is beating away, Upon the sun it get’s hooked everyday, Realize that these petrified, antagonized, World disappears, Around the Outer Zone, Falling on solid ground I said a yeahhhhhh… (x2) Get up and blow your head off!
0
Nov 15, 2012
Nov 15, 2012 at 11:30 PM UTC
RAGE (REPRISE)
even when you forgive me for everything I keep asking myself am I the bad guy?
0
Jan 29, 2013
Jan 29, 2013 at 10:36 PM UTC
Antagonized
The revolution will be televised, people flooding the streets, the skies. All who oppose will be demised, critisized, antagonized. Those who carry on will be prized. And so the cycle continues, generation after generation. It’s hard to tell what mutation will come to fruition, but the fact of the matter is that it’ll be just as superficial as the last. Nobody wants to be different, do they?
0
Jan 8, 2018
Jan 8, 2018 at 6:51 PM UTC
-Tidal Waves