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 Apr 2018 Carly
Kayla Williams
I won't say that I love you
because I've said it too much
I won't say that I melt with your touch

I won't tell you that I miss you
I won't tell you that I'm true
because all that you already knew

I won't tell you that I'm yours
And that to you I belong
because I feel that you are bored from this long song

I won't tell you that I love you in despair
because I feel that you really don't care
And that you now have her

Each day I promise and bet
That about you I must forget
And when we met
All the promises were broken
And about that I always regret

And again I tell you that I love you
Again I say that I miss you
Again I tell you that I'm yours
And to you I belong
Though I'm sure that this is wrong

But I can't stop loving you
I can't stop my feelings
I just want to stay one day with you
Not to talk... but only to hear

To hear from you that you love me
And to feel that you're clear
To feel you near
To hear that you will take away my fear
Will this day ever come?!
- Kayla Lynn
 Apr 2018 Carly
Tark Wain
I want to
feel nothing for you.
I want to
soak myself in Novocain
when you pass me on the street.
I want to
not be blown away by the way
your hips shift when you walk .
I want to
delete memories of you
like they were data on a disk.
I want to
shove you so deep into a crowded backpack.
That thousands of years could pass
before I found you.
I want to
be like the neutered dog
able to **** away and away
with no consequence.
I want to
close my eyes and think of anything else
literally anything else
like dead bodies decaying
or something along those lines.
I want to
be free from your chains
and I mean that.
You don't seem to understand that
but I do.

Mean it.

Believe me.

I want to feel nothing for you.
 Apr 2018 Carly
Raven
Me
 Apr 2018 Carly
Raven
Me
No food
No sleep
I can't let these things reach out and speak sweet lies
I can't let food call my name
I can't let sleep drown my thoughts

I shouldn't eat
I can't sleep

This is me

I am broken girl
Who can't eat
In fear I weigh too much

I am a broken girl who can't sleep
For my thoughts and memories
Haunt me too much

I am a broken girl who answers 'how are you?'
With 'I'm alright' even when I'm not even close
Because I don't want you to worry
I don't want you to fret
Over a broken soul

I am a broken girl who says 'I have been busy'
when someone asks me why I haven't done something
I have been busy just not in the way they think
I have been busy trying not to give into hunger
I have been busy fixating on how I'm broken
I have been busy
But not in the way they think

I am a broken girl who has let her demons
creep up on her too much

I am a broken girl who has surrendered
her soul

I am a broken girl who dates so she feels
worth something because I don't when I'm alone

I date because I need to depend on someone
Because I am not dependable for anyone
Let alone myself

I date so I can hear someone say I love you
So I can hear someone call me beautiful
Cute
Amazing
And so many other things
Even if I don't believe it

I am a broken girl who has lost so many relationships
Five to death
And so many others just because they left
I was no longer good enough
No longer happy enough
No longer
PRETENDING

I am a broken girl who pretends
And when I stop people leave

Because I am too broken

I am too clingy

I am too demanding

I'm just not enough

Or I'm too much

THIS IS ME

But no one sees
Until I let them

And when I do they worry

But please don't worry
Because you didn't when you didn't know
So why worry now?

I'm still the same me
You just couldn't see all the flaws that my eyes do

You don't see the way I do

I see a girl who's eyes are too big

I see a girl who isn't thin enough

I see a girl who's hair doesn't suit her no matter what

I see a girl with too many scars

I see a girl
But I don't

For all I can see now is a walking flaw

And no one knows that
THIS IS ME
April/ 19/ 2018/ 10:19 AM
 Apr 2018 Carly
Cassian
Dad
 Apr 2018 Carly
Cassian
Dad
You always point out every flaw dad
Always reminding me of everything I do wrong
You never cared how I felt dad
Always comparing me to someone else
I already know how stupid I am dad
Believe me I’ve been told thousands of times
That’s why I want to move away from you
You’ve made me feel alone dad
While still saying you’re my friend
I cared but you didn’t
That was my problem I accept responsibility for that
But the hardest part about letting go is that
I’ll never hear you running after me
Deep into the cold
the mirror that whispers,
the mirror that shouts,
words of hate
and torture
and spout.
the lies it speaks
are of disgust.
the thoughts it creates
turns 'should stop eating'
to a 'must'.
the mirrors lies are tempting
to try,
but a forewarning ;
the lies will control you,
and they will eat you alive.
 Apr 2018 Carly
abby
We are the ones who are hard to understand
We'll be the last ones in the movie theatre
because the ending scene made us cry
We'll stop to smell the roses
because they deserve to be appreciated
We are the ones who will take the time
to learn what keeps you up at night
We are the ones who will imagine
an entire future of adventures
with the people who show us love

We are the ones who will love you more
than we love ourselves
We will give you our strongest parts
in hopes that we can make things better
We desire to see you become the best you
to make sure that you always feel our love
We crave affection and appreciation
We give a piece of ourselves away every day
sometimes to people who don't deserve it
Our love is easy to take advantage of
and sometimes we don't get back
the love that we give away

When we hurt, we crumble and fall apart
We constantly have to put ourselves back together
We are more fragile than we like to give off
We carry our emotions on our sleeves
Our flaws have the ability to consume us
We aren't afraid to give you the world
but we are afraid to feel unloved
We want you to see what we see
We want you to understand where we're coming from

We are good people with good intentions
We are stronger than we believe
Not everyone can feel the way we feel
We feel too much, too often
We are not hard to love
We are something not everyone knows how to love
But you need to remember that
your worth does not change just because
no one is there to appreciate you, to remind you

You are not any less lovable
You are the most lovable person in the world
You are a light that the world needs
Your kindness is not your weakness
You do not need to change for anyone's acceptance
You do not need to stop giving love
just because you don't get any back
Your heart is the best thing about you

And one day when you least expect it
someone will notice you from across the room
and know exactly how to love you
They will think all of these things are beautiful
They will deserve the love you can give
They will fill the empty space in your heart
But for now, don't stop feeling
We are the ones who feel everything so deeply
We are the ones who can't give up because
We are the ones who will teach the world
how to love
We are exactly who we are supposed to be
 Apr 2018 Carly
Shawn Callahan
Oh, how would it be...
to have a body
you never touched?

Would my skin not flake away?
Would my eyes stop pacing...
Only to avoid you?

Soft skin is always missed
But the throbbing between my thighs
Will forever stay; unforgotten

I wish to feel pleasure
Where there was pain
As he touches my curves...

Six months with someone new
And my my mind still disappears
In the blue sheets.

Oh, how would it be
To have a body
You never touched...
And Instead he did.
 Apr 2018 Carly
Keerthi Kishor
Lies.
 Apr 2018 Carly
Keerthi Kishor
Every time he opened his mouth,
it was either to kiss or to lie.
Eventually, I got sick of both.
This fire inside,
Burns deep within my soul.
It leaves ashes behind,
Of the love we once knew.
The memories that once were,
Fade like a dream..
As if it had never happened...
Just like you never existed.

But you were once here.
I laid in your arms,
Kissed those lips,
And fell for your heart.
What is left is not enough,
I'll keep begging for more.

I know there's no use,
You'll never return.
My soul will keep searching,
Missing the other half that was you.
Wishing you'd have stayed,
Or loved me once more.

I can't remember you're face,
Can't picture your smile.
Imagine your kisses,
Or remember your laughter.

You walked away much sooner
Than you came,
I don't blame you at all.
Next time I think of you,
I'll just see stars.

Your face is fading,
Your hold on my heart too,
However, my love for you burns on,
Even as ash hits the floor.
The ash eventually piles up,
Comes together as one.
Builds itself up, and return once more.

I loved you once,
And still continue to do.
But I'll continue to burn,
If I get to close to you.
The fire will live,
Like a somber candlelight.
As long as I don't feel or touch
Everything will be alright.
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