Could you imagine a pain so deep down inside
That it can not be summarized in words you simply can write
A pain that touches your toes and up to the top of the ceiling
You can't eat, you can't sleep, that is the pain that I am feeling
But these different circumstances has got me feeling alone
All the doctors say you’re dead and gone
But it still feels like I could talk to you if I picked up the phone
You can't fix a broken window you just replace the pane.
But there is no pain great enough to replace your face
With my eyes matted shut from the tears that I slept on
I thank God for the pictures and your voice mails on my cell phone.
But please, while you are awed in the mist of the Lord
Don't forget all your friends and time spent on this world.
I will never have a friend like you ever again.
My heart is a vault now, I'm scared to let people in.
No matter how many oceans or rivers I cry
My heart will never let you go, I'll never say good bye.
A lot of my hours are now spent in the place where you lay
As I sit crying, wondering, who would you be today

She is yours and you are hers
Why pretend otherwise
Be with her
Take a gamble
I have a feeling it will be the best bet of your life

April 15, 2018. 11.11am - "Make a wish!"

"Did you make one?"

         I did, I wished for the impossible with all the might of my heart.

"Yep, I did."

         If only you knew, I wish for this with every beat of my heart on
         the daily.

"What is it?"

         I wished for everyday to be like this, I wished to wake up next to
         you, I wished to stay with you.

"I can't tell you, then it won't come true."

         We were meant to say goodbye from the beginning,
         The universe brought you to me, only to leave me attached
         and longing, knowing you'll have to be ripped out my life.
        
I ask myself sometimes, why did I let this happen?

Then I look at our hands, our present, intertwined, even if momentarily, I understand.

To be able to love, to be able to miss, to feel this kind of pain, to go through scrolls of memories with you, to understand depths of myself that were once shallows.

Our paths were always carved into two,

I can only wish,

our paths can come become one again.

Through all the kisses and tears, I'll be yours.

Always.

IT HURTS.

IT HURTS SO MUCH I CAN'T HANDLE IT.

WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?

I just wanted you

but I can't make you want me

if you don't want to