WhOoP De DoOp

tHeRe GoEs My LaSt BraIn CeLL

The way you touch HER
As you once touched me
Makes me miss
10/18/18

The day your sweet voice
Asked me
To be yours

"Forever" you whispered
"And always" I replied
Seems to me
It was a disguise

For now you love her
as you once loved me
how tragic

1/22/19

I feel the rush in my blood
                         in my bones there's something
a tension like a current in a river
                 like a storm against a tree
                 like a foot on blades of grass
something took ahold of me
and i couldn't quite shake it
that unnerving feeling that left me wondering
                                                              questioning
                                                              thinking
and i didn't really know what to do
so i called you but you didnt pick up
so i sat in the dark
so i thought to myself and anyone else who was listening
my mind was numb from chasing away those feelings
                                              chasing away the darkness
                                              chasing away my fears
and i always kept thinking
until you called me back
but it was half past one and i was tired
and all that time i wish you would have told me it was going to be ok
                              i wish you would have held me close to you
                              i wish i didn't give you unrealistic expectations
but i was hurting
and it was a wednesday
and i was only wishing for you.

you caught me at a bad time
eyes locked like a bullseye
I could feel your lips on my neck
like a disease without a cure
I let you infect my heart
until nothing was left and we were chained together
you knew this would never work
young, dumb and in love forever
you couldn't keep up with my schedule
I couldn't figure out you
so we fought in the kitchen over other people's messes
so we yelled in the car over the music blasting
our turbulent world came crashing
and like a well-rehearsed symphony
left you struggling with an ending
left you standing the rain while I turned away

my heart wasn’t intact when I met you
but you took my pieces
and arranged them into a puzzle I didn’t know could complete me.
you held them close,
cherishing the small details they entailed,
and warmed them when they were bitter.
one day,
you decided my puzzle wasn’t yours anymore,
and you threw away those tiny, curvy fragments.
a few there and a few here,
I will find them.
I’ll piece them back together,
and find my heart again.
looking up at the stars,
I wonder why my heart feels this way,
the same way it did before I met you.