There she goes

Girls file into line
Three by three
Knee length skirts

Down the aisle

Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine
Prayers morning, noon, and night
Careful now, They're prepared to smite

Up the Stairs

Now we dine
And then off to bed
One "lucky" girl gets to practice head

The tallest tower

She's had too much sacramental wine
Hands touched and caressed
And she felt far from blessed

Down she jumps

Touched by filthy swine
"what a horrible disaster"
Her eulogy given by that same pastor

The Devil moves on

It burns like an acid,

these hot tears,

Tearing through my skin.

The inside of my chest shredded,

And it's your hand this time,

That holds the carving knife.

Through it all, I hear a pounding-

                          
                                          It's my hand on the table.
                                          As some tune's stuck in my head.
                                          I look around at all my friends,
                                          Grins and smiles a blaze by the fire.
                                          And for the first time in a long while,
                                          I join in, and I'm okay.

where it starts
1. your girlfriend will have a miscarriage
for the second time
and you, you'll start using needles
THERE WILL BE NO DIRECT CORRELATION BETWEEN THESE TWO THINGS
but you tell yourself
a daughter is what would make life worth living
and subsequently what it takes to get you sober

2. you lose your job
because you're always in the bathroom missing veins
loss of job will inevitably spiral into an
"intolerable depression"
or
"extended sadness"
or
"whatever version of this is easiest to swallow"

3. you get to spend every holiday from your birthday until The Day She Dies sitting next to your mother's hospital bed
(except for when you're always in the bathroom, missing veiins)

LATER
your sister reassures you that mom didn't know the way you also choked back guilt with all the bile and unpleasant things in your trips to the restroom
but for now you will hate yourself
hate the sticky needles
and hate the way your girlfriend leaves all her ghosts behind when she leaves you

4. you find that bathroom floors are your new home
splayed out after your 8th overdose
jail cells are just a normal tuesday
and you keep waking up to razor blades left neatly on your pillow

where it ends

5. giving up ****** is like pulling teeth
messy and painful but typically necessary
and so hard to do alone

Pretty Little Pink,

all wrapped up in silk,

for me.

Beautiful you are,

a gift to gaze upon,

making the hunger grow inside.

My oh my,

you do look delectable, my dear;

and I am starving.

Over time you'd carved out space.
Your current eroding my toughest stone.
Gutting me for all to see.
For so long I'd forgotten what it was like to be without you,
But you put up dams and barriers, diverting your water;
and now, Colorado, you've dried up.
Sometimes it'd rain and I thought that you might return.
After so much time together we became synonymous.
How would I exist without you?

Now I know.
You may have cut deep into me.
Leaving your mark for all to see.
They still come for me, even when you're gone,
To look upon my beautiful layers and vibrant colors.


The pit you whittled out is vast but you could never fill what was.
I'm left with nothing but the dry, harsh heat.
Don't come back to this canyon.
There's no room.

Sweet lips and kind eyes
I'd sing you all the praises a man can
My Overworked Angel

touch soft and gentle
you radiant being
a feather against my body

warm and gracious is she
perfumed voice
enough to make me bloom

He is in love with questions,
Little questions that she asks to him,
And the lilting world of words,
With the fabric of philosophy,
Taste of fresh ideas,
Interpretation of dreams and zodiacs,
And definitely for her stupid riddles.

But at the same moment

He is in love with one who left,
And the poisoned past he baths in,
With being perpetually lonesome,
In love with terrible yet beautiful memories,
With darkness, deep and coveted,
And holds scars for the one who left.

But what is actually happening

His soul is getting grey,
On journey with black and white passengers.

His body is getting ****,
With dusky heart and lightened mind.

Sadness and madness has held him together,
over and again.