Jealousy is but a poison's curse
that leaves you nothing
but disappointment to rehearse,
over and over; self-loathing.

Black and white was my modus operandi;
Clothes, shoes, people, thoughts and religion.
But then my perceptions became distorted in pursuit of perfection;
Trying to avoid anxiety, depression and feelings of inadequacy.
I arranged myself: straight-jacketed, restricted, a life half-lived.
My vision is clearer now, despite being doubled, optical nerves damaged and my peripheral limited;
Seeing things not as black or white, but as grey, and fragmented,
Strangely, my vision has become more enhanced, clearer, freer, and more nuanced.
Grey is not bleak but the platform,
Being present is better than being perfect.

Hopeful waiting versus
Begrudgingly waiting,
It takes the weight off,
While you wait.

Yesterday,
On our way back thru Yack
We drove along 
On a bumpy and windy track
On the side of the road
Was a rundown tin shack
Where the wind blew through every crack 
We drove gently by
Trying to leave it intact
On Bells Gate Road hid that idyllic track.

Words are like rubies;
Precious and rare.
Yet many I squander,
Unleashing with little care.

Right and wrong.
Black and white.
Giving voice to the darkness
Being open to the light.
Uncertain.

I’ve lived my life
Wanting certainty.
I’ve lived my life
unable to handle uncertainty;
Wanting to stay out of strife.

Fear of the terror in the night,
I tried to be the ‘good girl’
Fear of stepping out of place
I worked out the rules
And stuck to them uncertainly.

Lord, you see all things,
Please help me understand.
Lord, you know all things,
Please help me to stand.
Because I crumble in uncertainty.

Confusion reigns,
Doubt appears.
The terror increases,
Inadequacy jeers.
Uncertainty.

Argh! I cry out to you,
Please show me the way,
Lease reveal the truth,
Just as you rested, on that seventh day.
Certainty.

Am I what you say I am
or am I more?
I am more.
We all are. Amen.

To cope, we minimise
things into binary forms:
Good and evil, black and white
More or less.

But we are more;
More than right now,
More than what others say, and
What others see,

More than what we see,
so peek inside, and
Use the key of self-acceptance to
untraveled terrains of our hearts and minds.

Morning dew glistens
Like Tiffany's diamonds,
As the sun rises
Promising a spectacular day;
God’s creation shining and
Brings glory!

Death hath befallen us
Of a patient and kind
Resident, curious
She often quietly sat, her mind
Observing, empathising, harmonious.
She now leaves behind
Her memories; ghosts of good times?