Sometimes I feel...
Alone,
Very, very alone.
Everyone feels this way though, right?

Maybe I'm okay, maybe happiness is...
Effortless.

People get sad and feel so alone.
Life gets better,
Everyone says it does
Anyway.
So I'm probably fine.
Emptiness is underrated.

I can feel them cracking,
Breaking under the pressure
of all your lies
and forgotten promises.
The weight of all
the things I couldn't say,
is crushing them,
Burying them in hurt.
I can feel them dying.
With each sob,
and every smoke.
I can't live like this forever.

There's a monster under mamas bed
he's made of metal and...
and probably has razor-sharp teeth,
he's got eyes made of silver.
His sharpened tongue hits the roof of his mouth with a click.
And he shouts out shots.

My baby sister found him yesterday.
He fought her till she died,
And mamas never cried so loud,
But the monster's still inside.

fear runs through every inch of your body alongside adrenaline,
your veins are on fire,
and your fingertips sting.
your mind is racing,
but time moves too slow.

its breath is taunting your movement.
you can't see,
but feel it getting closer.

you feel lightheaded,
and fear passing out from the lack of oxygen
in your body.
and the knot in your stomach prevents
you from running any faster.

you know it's right
behind you no matter how far away
you try to get.

I should know how to breathe,
I should know how to breathe but something
got caught in my throat years ago.
It might've been the lies you tried to feed me,
but maybe I just choked on my own sobs.
Whatever it was though, caused my body to go pale
and my lips to go blue.
Don't worry though,
I've gotten used to my sunken-in eyes,
and numbed fingertips.
I should know how to breathe but I don't.
They want me to learn again.
They hand out promises like candy,
but I can't taste either.
They promise the remove the obstruction,
they promise to sweeten your memory.
But I'm scared.
I am who I am because I can't breathe.
I am sunken eyes
and blue lips.
Give me breath and I might choke again.

I should know how to breathe but I don't want to.

My chest is way too tight,
My lungs can't move to breathe,
And I can't stop telling myself,
They wouldn't notice if I leave.
Their lives would continue on the same,
I'm just a mess in their way,
And no matter how hard I try,
I can't think of one reason to stay.
Maybe a few would miss me,
One or two at most,
But they will forget and move on,
Overlook the kid who overdosed.

Every bone in my body aches for a rest,
While my heart begs for closure,
And my mind screams for a break.
My muscles strain under the weight of a thousand glares,
And my lungs are cracking from all their wear.
My arms are going numb,
And my vision's going dark,
My voice has lost its sound,
And my hair is falling out.
I'm dying and I know it,
You just can't see,
So I'm begging you one last time,
Let me go in peace.