Every bone in my body aches for a rest,
While my heart begs for closure,
And my mind screams for a break.
My muscles strain under the weight of a thousand glares,
And my lungs are cracking from all their wear.
My arms are going numb,
And my vision's going dark,
My voice has lost its sound,
And my hair is falling out.
I'm dying and I know it,
You just can't see,
So I'm begging you one last time,
Let me go in peace.

finally...
peace,
I can take a deep breath
and not taste metal on my tongue,
I can hear the soft sound of motors in the
distance not accompanied by
the panicky flutter of my heartbeat.
I'm aware of everything from my
toes and up.
This is a rare moment,
I take it in, feel the breeze,
look along the endless horizon,
and breathe.
For a moment I'm okay.

Should I live or should I die?
Should I fall or try to fly?
No matter my will, my feet hit the ground,
So I bury my heart and hope it gets found.

I live in a constant state of
increased heartrates
and
panicky breaths,
I can feel my chest tighten,
and my lungs scream
as if they're being starved for air.
I'm not sure when I closed my eyes
but I know I must've because everything
is dark,
my arms feel as though they've fallen off,
and I can feel something
crushing my throat.
I can now only hear my pounding heart
echo off these walls
and maybe this is death.

My heart won't slow down
and I want to laugh,
it's ridiculous how after all these years
you still cause my heart to melt
and I hate it.
I should be over this,
I should be over you.

You taste of distance and longing.
You look like the embodiment of past,
and my eyes can never quite focus with you on my mind.
Remembering your laugh hurts and feels like a dream,
it feels like what I would imagine remembering a past life would feel like.
I'm not even sure you were ever real.
I can't remember your eyes.
But what hurts more is that you probably
can't remember mine.

Ashes cover the ground where we once used to sleep,
I went back there and burned every memory I keep.
Like how people said our eyes are the same blue colour,
And how I used to argue that yours were brighter. (you never believed me)
They've changed in your pictures,
Like a broken scripture.
They now look dull,
Hollowed out holes in your skull.
Their brilliant glow lost,
As if you sold them, not caring the cost.
Mine echo the blue flames they've seen swallow everything they love.
Mine watched your blue wash all my joy like the rain above.

I know you've forgotten our dull blue,
But I will remember you.