I hope I live to see Ed Sheeran, and Taylor swift live, and spend new years in New York
I hope I make the perfect coffee for my future love and maybe even raise a puppy.
I hope my writing actually gets somewhere,
Than just spilled on a random page,
Of a giant internet database
I hope my little quotes and lyrics
Are sketched into teenage journals
I hope I meet my biggest supporter someday, and hang out with them in Disneyland.
I hope everything stops being crazy,
And everything starts becoming clearer
I hope everyday I am alive, I make positive impact.

I hope, I hope
That the Universe notices,
All the times I nearly broke..
Were all the times,
I began to grow.

Written in my blogposts are witty things and love quotes of mine..
The dreams of your tomorrow and the memories of all my sorrow soon collide..
I phoned her in the evening
Just to tell her i'll be leaving
Yet again..
And i called still believing
She'd be there on the other end..

Cause i could be gone, by tonight..
If things dont work i'll run for my life
And you dont have to be there by my side, to tell me im a fool..

The story of my life
I pack a bag
&dance; in the streetlight
To a song sung bad
And life..
Becomes a movie moment of mine

The story of my life
I write a song,
I wait all night
For your response
But i cant re write..
This part of my life

Written in my journals are the feelings that i can't explain
You come with warmth and brightness but even the sunset must fade

I'm hoping that this evening i'll be smiling when im sleeping cause of you..
And what ive learnt is that i pin hope on things that can't be true..

Cause im on a rollercoaster ride
There's highs and lows
From hell to starry skies
And you dont have to be there by my side, cause i need space in school

And people say they need me but they.. don't know who i am..
So maybe loving you is easy 'cause you just understand..

The story of my life
I fall in love,
I give my heart
To almost everyone
and time..
Is the worst heartbreaker in life

The story of my life
I send you songs
And i wait all night
For your response
Ohh whyy
Cant i undo parts of my life?

Oh I'm told;
'Move on, cause you can't rewrite'

Someday, someone's gonna paint the entire galaxy into the palm of your very hand so that you can always remember, even in your darkest moments.. you still hold something so breathtakingly beautiful within you

Someone's gonna be able to make life so thrilling and exciting for you, your heart will beat so fast for all the right reasons and when someone asks you what will make you happy you'll finally know the answer

Someone's gonna do more than just words, just charm and just being there.

..Not that you'd need anyone really.
Not that any of that would really be enough.
Only you know what you need,
And when you find that out,
I hope i'll still be around to see you live those greater days...
"Those days where you wake up and its warm and cosy, and you look outside and its still dark but you know the sun's coming"

Yes I am that someone who is just full of words, charm and is just.. There.
But I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, I am not an artist of that kind, to paint you such a picture that would make you see the beauty in this life, but God, If our problems were pieces of rock, I'd slingslot them to the Moon, even further perhaps for you.

I can't make life exciting, I also can't slow down time.. But i do love you i think thats the one thing that i do, effortlessly you know? it just happens and whether its wrong or right its still happening, when life starts to fail, that is when love needs to happen. I love you i love you i love you

I've waited days weeks months to say it
If my thoughts right now were pieces of rock i'd slingshot them all at you, in fact I am, metaphorically..
Sorry.

I just want you to get better so that you see what i see,
The world is a beautiful place with you in it, happy.

There's a letter that I'll never
Deliver to you girl you left a mess in my world,
And now things in my bedroom
Remind me of you..

See there are old cd's I burned
And paper planes crashed by the door
And song lyrics spilled on the floor
I should probably clean it all up but
A part of me just won't forget us
You must have been pretty special
Cause these days, I try not to be so sentimental..
Did you get the memo?
I've been recording demos
And someday in December,
I'll record a single'
Just you wait.
I'm not going anywhere but up,
Though things in my bedroom remind me of you, I actually don't give a ****
I'm just bringing all of this up
Because, I thought it'd be nice
To spare you a thought, and a poem
Every now and then...
Oh **** we used to be the best of friends
And in my journals there's evidence
Man its been a while and you're still relevant..
So for the hell of it
Let's raise a glass....
Oh in my room theres a few birthday cards
But as the years go on, i get less and less of those
And theres a lava lamp, thats pretty small.. But thats okay
Cause its next to my cd player thats still playing my first mixtape..
So oh yeah, let's raise a glass..
To the person I am today,
Darling you said we all have to change
Well if i did, it came from a place of pain..

Now this is for all the people,
who didn't get a rose,
didn't receive a card
and didn't even get a simple message today

Just think of my poetry as a garden of roses,
and each single poem, every relate-able line
is a rose picked out especially for you

Think of each space between my words right now,
as the spaces between your fingers,
and imagine my hand holding yours,
telling you it's all okay, and that I'll never leave you

'Cause who really needs a card, a plastic rose
and 'Happy Valentine's Day' sent from someone's phone
Who really needs that when we could have;
Ice cream, movies and poems ;]

Long nights, dreaming
He's beside you gently sleeping, away..
And when you wake up,
as the Sun comes,
You whisper 'I love you' to your one love, everyday

But just because you're also a man, doesn't mean you can't love another
And though you're safe and sound someone else has been disowned by their mother and it's not a nice town when you're getting beat up by one another, for loving who you love

But this life is good,
And his eyes are kind..
And your heart is big enough
To forgive those who had the nerve to leave you behind
And your words are so pure
You've never meant anything more..
And even when you're getting called a bunch of names,
It doesn't make you any less beautiful

And just like how the sky is blue,
This bond is strong..

And this love is love.

I am a wallflower,
I've painted portraits
of your smile
when your eyes fell sad;
I've made mix tapes
of your sighs
every single time,
you've walked by that
boy who hurt you bad

Now here's the thing with me
I'm quite content
sitting here with just me
I like this girl,
but to be fair,
she's far too pretty
to notice me.

So I'll get a typewriter
that's what I'll do
I'm gonna make it as a writer
publish a book or two
but it'll be hard,
or it might not...
All I need is just a friend
crazy enough to say oh,
"Write about us"

and then you know what,
I will.
Someday I finally will,
I'll go up to the most
prettiest girl
at the school dance and,
tell her how I feel.
But right now I am here,
and I'm looking at you,
thinking if that dude beside you
is your boyfriend then,
he better pay more attention
to you,

because you're beautiful.

So maybe we could talk all night
I wanna know what feeling infinite's like
I wanna go there, through your tunnel of thoughts
and I wanna see you shine like a million lights

Oh maybe we could read some books
My teacher assigned me Fitzgerald,
And his stuff's really good
I wanna hug you like you've always been missed
And I wanna tell you that I've never been kissed

So maybe we could talk' a while...
maybe we could,

Maybe we should.

Because you're beautiful.

If you're the moon with your phases
Then I'm a star gazer, mesmerised by the view..
And if your 'ring of Saturn' falls out I'd go up there myself and find one more suited for you

And how does it feel to have a face that so many call home?..
Cause for three sleepless nights, this 'homeless girl' gave up everything just to write you a poem..

Oh I've been struggling,

I've been staring at the page for ages,
Trying to find the most honest way to say this..
See every time you touch my heart I feel it breaking
So I will never let you know..
But you are so beautiful, I can't take it

And no I won't stop believing
That everyone comes into your life for some kind of reason..
But I'm not using you to write, I'm using you as a source for breathing
though every time I see you I fall to pieces..
..But every piece is in awe with you
So would you collect them and adore me too?

Oh I just can't describe this..
If there was a metaphor you know I'd write it..
You make me lost for words but I won't stop trying,
In hope of finding new parts of you,
Oh you are so beautiful, I don't like it

Cause it ties knots in my stomach.
And then my heart beat drains out the city but I can't stop it..
Is this a horrible poem cause I'm just being honest..
And though adrenaline is supposed to keep me going,
Oh you are so beautiful I can't focus

So don't get too close for comfort
Cause I love you so much my heart hurts,
And it's a pain my heart could take
If you just stay and take the pain away

And your little smile could go to the end of the world,
And I'd whisper your name if it was the end of the world,
..And I have writers block so I don't know what rhymes with 'end of the world',
But don't let me go even when you're someone else's girl
Cause you'll still always be this loser's world :')

.. And if I'm a stargazer mesmerised by the view,
Then I hope every constellation will add up to you.

So what?
If I'm not 'so hot'

Why do you care
If I never change my hair?

Okay maybe my videos won't go viral
But the aim is to make at least one person smile

Honestly, I shouldn't worry
About being ignored
Or being 'totally!' unpopular..
It's gonna make a great story someday.

.. The day I become a somebody.

                    SO, before you trade your                              glasses in for a pair of contacts,
Before you chop your mop, and throw on the make up, before you chug down that *****
Which makes you talk crazy when you snooze,
Ask yourself; 'What do I have to lose?'

.... The rep you don't have,
Or the pride that you do.

Popularity is down to you.

Welcome to Cathytown where the grass is always pinker.
Where the moon and the sun fall in love and where everything's better when everyones together.
I had a heart to heart with my mum today, I was angry that.. She didn't understand me, I was afraid that she didn't love me and that it was my own fault.
She told me I couldn't be anymore wrong, that she shouts at me so I can grow, she's ******* me because...
Well, no one else is..
Not in Cathytown.

She said I have to grow up eventually, and see that the world isn't as sensitive as I'm going to be.
She said she loves me so much her heart hurts every time I stay out til midnight after every row and argument but she can't reach out because I'm too hurt to let her in.
She said I was born perfect, two eyes, two hands, two legs, perfectly healthy. So it hurts her when I say I'm not beautiful, not good enough.

Cathytown... Where dreams come true in a blink of an eye,
Cathytown, where friendship is forever
And true love can blossom and *** isn't as important as intimate conversations.

Please let me stay in Cathytown...
Where I can watch disneychannel and drink tea and make others happy by just being me..
I know I get sad sometimes,
But staying strong is my anthem
I know I get dramatic and weird and over emotional
... But hey, that's just me.

Let's dance on a New York Rooftop,
Since this is the closest to Heaven we've ever been,
The sky changed it's tone for us...
We live in an endless reel of film.

Can I feel you on my moon kissed skin?
Since this is the closest we've ever been..
Eyes meeting, but never stay
Hearts beating but never at the same pace.

'Cause you have different goals
And I have all these ambitions
You deserve more than you know
And i'm working towards more recognition
You can swim, i'll just take a boat
And i'll meet you at a location
Where it's possible,
For us to be us..

'Love' is such a complicated word to use here
I kinda fell in 'love' with someone last new year's
But things have changed since you got here,
Things changed, I changed & now my story has a new exciting page
But ****... What if losing you is part of the universe's plan?
What if fate never really gave a crap?
If the world's intentions were to suddenly change,
No doubt, I'll still 'like like' you anyway

Who am I?
Am I a bird or a plane?
No.. I'm Superman!
considers gender
Okay, Lois Lane..
Am I a roadblock in your way?
Or a lucky penny in a well
A grain of sand in your shoe
That great story you tell
A song for the broken
Face of innocence,
Head of dreams
Am I young and sweet only seventee-
considers age
Okay, just turned 18^
Am I happy am I sad
Am I the best you everr had
A lyric to sing again and again
When lost in a tunnel,
The light at the end
Am I over confident
Do I believe in the possible
Am i an actress for putting on a show throughout this entire poem
Dramatic maybe?
Yes, dramatic but harmless
An artist I guess.. A star left in darkness?
Am I worthy of romance?
God I need to know..
When you go through life being kissed by beasts and frogs,
You eventually believe you'll never be someone's rose.
Am I wrong Am I right,
Who knows?
& Am I as okay as I say I am?

....* Curtains close

I'm writing you this poem to..
Tell you how I really feel,
You see the words right now just seem to, flow much better since
Our connection's real..

See i would never wanna lose you,
Cause that would mean I'd lose my everything..
And i know i mean just as much to you too,
Cause you and I, we've gone through many things..

So I'll be your wizard if you'll be my angel
I'll be your star in the sky
I'll be the one you send your fears to
When Superman's not online
I'll be the writer if you keep me writing,
I'll be a fighter if you keep me fighting
Just be the one i fall back on,
Cause I'm looking in your eyes..
And suddenly everything i wanna be,
I've become.

You say that i don't know you,
Or know of anything you're going through..

You say that i don't really love you
Or care about you
Because i say really sad things about myself and can't seem to be truthfully happy for you
But i've never loved anyone to the point where they became all i cared about, and though i can't be happy for you, i care enough to try to

You say that i don't know what the real world is like, or how harsh life can be
But I'm the one with the dark past and depression, forever catching up to me
I'm the one who lost a father in a war that could not possibly have been won
I know what it's like to lose people who mean everything,
Because i've been losing you and that's as harsh as anything

You say you're not pretty, you think sometimes i'm beautiful
Well let me tell you if you weren't in any way, as thought provoking and as breath taking as you are,
Would i really waste my time on all these poems for you?

You say that i don't know you..
But last year your favourite colour was turquoise, you wanted orchids at your future wedding, (which i may un-invite myself to) your favourite animal was the great panda bear,
Your secret talent was impersonating perry the platypus and you took 27 showers a day and drank posh tea, oh and you loved long hair.

Okay so now i don't know you so well
But i knew you,
I knew you more than time could tell

But now you're just a stranger.
The pretty girl with short hair

It's a life full of games,
From kicking ***** against your neighbour's walls to fixing heartbreaks and charging mobile phones,
You sit with the populars to feel less alone.

And in this game of life,
You'll sometimes have luck when you roll the dice,
But honestly just keep rolling with whatever may come, cause every blessing in itself is a prize..
You've got friends and family,
Teachers and knowledge that will actually come handy,
And you've got stars in your soul,
& a galaxy of a mind that only you control

So run! Under the summer sun
If you want danger here it comes
Oh I'm no stranger to giving up
But as I grow up,
I've started missing how it felt to be.. wildly young (!)
So i'm gonna use my voice,
As this year I'm turning 19 without a choice
Let's run... If not hand in hand,
run as fast as you can, and leave a trail for me
Oh If you can't fall in love with me
Then I hope you'll fall in love with your life at least,
Cause life's a breeze when you live like you're wildly young

Sitting on the Ferris Wheel with,
you telling me how you feel..
There's no looking down or going back,
'cause I'm safest in your eyes

And everyone's afraid of something
but by your side I'm afraid of nothing
you're the one who makes me wanna never give up the fight,
I'll watch you like how the moon keeps his stars up right

Sleep tight, 'cause it's another fight in the morn'..
but you were born for this..

When I'm with you, I'm dauntless,
And when..
When I kiss you it's flawless,
You're a tattoo in the back of my mind..
And we're like statues through everyone else's eyes

yeah when I'm with you it's dauntless,
so, don't you ever feel haunted
we've got forever yet, til we leave it all behind
and i won't leave you behind..

'cause you and I are riding the Chicago skyline tonight

I'm all out of hope, direction too..
I'm not a yellow brick road,
I'm a lost avenue.
Well aren't we just all,
Plots scattered all over the place?
I left a letter in Saturn,
And now I'm sat here staring into space..

Oh how can I, learn to take things slow?
When you gave me just a glimpse of the universe you've hid, I fell harder and now I mentally can't let go..
So how can I, learn to give you more space?
Oh just a poem at a time, or did my voicenote cross the line, I won't know what love is til you're physically close

I'll write it in the stars,
Spell your name out in 'HobbyCraft'
Could I deliver my love,
Through the mailbox?..
I long for your response
The silence leaves me numb
Could I deliver my love?
Through paper planes of heartfelt songs..

Everyday is a battle.
Are the alive even living at all?
It's like we're going through life, just.. Waiting for a life changing call.

And every time I even hear your name
If I close my eyes too long I'll see your face
Well those are life changing things that take place, everyday and you don't even realise..

Cause I find that hope again when I colour your eyes, in a fictional drawing where I can admire you more in real life... I find that love again to be all I can be,
Teach me to be your best friend and maybe someday I'll be..
I know I spill too much on all of the pages,
But who you are to me is someone amazing
And I could sit here, stare into space oh for ages..
But then I wouldn't have the chance to finish this off..

.. I'll love (you) always,
Hope that message came across.

'Under the sky with you..
I wrote a line for you
and as your eyes found the Moon's,
those stars were fixed on you..
'Everything is beautiful, your broken smile too..'

And back at the tree house, I
wrote a poem for you well, tried*
but it was way too simplified..
I needed bigger words like;
The juxtaposition of this composition is too excruciating to be euphemism now..

... So darling let's be real,
You and I, we both know how we feel..
'craving love from others but rejecting it from ourselves..
If only my hugs could heal,
maybe then I could love myself..

'Lying on the field, eyes closed..
I thought of my bow and arrow,
'how I've tried to set the target on your heart,
but the thought of hurting you made it hard to let go..

Do I take your breath away?..
Or am I just a breath away from doing so?..

Oh I just want you. So. Bad.
'So bad that if you hurt me,
I'd hurt you back..
'Write a song, a traumatic chapter for dramatic impact..
If only feelings could change..
but maybe your feelings will..

Maybe one day you'll see everything is beautiful,

.. and I can be too.

Free falling into the pits of Wonderland,
I wanna fly to
        somewhere
                   Anywhere
                            nowhere with Peter Pan

We're slowly fitting into place
So let your hand slip into mine
And let my fingers trace your disney character face

We're gently stirring up trouble in
These coffee cups of limited love
So can i get a refill?
Maybe if i rub this teapot like a lamp
I could make your wishes come true
If the world allowed me this chance

I may not have much to offer
I'm a writer, not a doctor
I might look like a furry beast
Even on my good days
But you'd be my beauty, my Belle,
And this I mean, always.

I don't believe in fairy tale endings,
Not anymore
I'm that loser who dreams of disney beginnings
And if i had you even as a rose, something i could walk past and just adore
I know i'd go through life winning,
I wouldn't want to fall through the crust
Of this 'Wonderland' anymore.