Our fantasy way

too often takes us along --


into its whirlpools.

It's true,
Love has the uncanny ability
to cast spells
so I made sure
that It's not my mind
Playing tricks on me
But still
when I traveled
into those fathomless eyes,
I find myself
In the middle of an ocean
like a helpless boat
Caught in a magical whirlpool
and now I am
Sinking fast...

you approached
our blank canvas
with black & blue paints
trying to make a sunset
out of me
but all you painted us to be
was a whirlpool

still framing it
trapping me in the middle

after climbing onto the rocks
and to the top of the cliff
he feared now not
feeling the comfort
of the whirlpool
because while standing
above the sea
he found new meaning in life
now that he realized
he is free

mind shard stuffed
deep between
the lobes
adjacent to
the whirlpool
looking out through
a brain/body eyes
no separation
no points
no way out friend
but
how did "you" "get" "in" "?" " "

It starts like a spinning top
Hypnotically spirals
Then it swirls
Round like a hurricane

I look into the eye of the storm
It seems to smoulder
Delicate and warm
Yet distant

Unstoppable and yet serene
The vortex drowning my thoughts
Swirling me round
A turbulent sea

But I feel also peaceful
Overcome with serenity
Harmonious music
Drunk on its melody

Does it draw me
Towards rocks or bliss?
This shimmering cocktail
Sweet and heady

Why is everything so hazy?
Is it steam?
Is that a swirling bath?
An aromatic lagoon

Stirred by a gentle hand
Soft skin and porcelain
Inviting me in
Beckoning me in

Does it invite me
Or does the door close?
Leaving me indignant
And alone in the dark

Like a ballerina
Ever faster, ever lighter
Seeming as if to rise
With each revolution

Up and up it goes
Swirling and swirling
Now slower and slower
As it quietly dissipates

It circles now above me
Finned silhouettes overhead
Swimming around and around
I hope they’re not sharks.

denial:
you tell yourself
they just needed a break
a vacation for the day
until a vacation turns into a week
and a week to a month
then you realize all the questions you have
are left wrapped in cellophane

anger:
your presence to me
was as calm as the sea
until i remembered every promise
you ever made
and then suddenly i become the sea
and these waters are no longer
soothing to me
but are now a violent whirlpool
where all my emotions
end up in the middle of

bargaining:
this is where my “what ifs” come into play
and how my “what ifs”
create a fake imagination
to where it is now a fake escape
from any kind of pain
until i can adjust to what my reality
is now set up to be

depression:
these black out curtains
still aren’t dark enough for me
i can still see your face
sitting in every picture frame
on my walls
with your smile
hanging there picture perfectly

acceptance:
this is the final stage
now i finally feel alive and free
the sun is no longer my enemy
but is now a friend to me
to remind me everyday
that i am alive and okay
i am now content with this
being my reality

My heart being pressed,
my soul being crushed,
I am unable to breathe,
I am unable to stand,
what's happening to me!!!

Am I getting lost
or simply out of my mind?
what's rising within me?
a whirlwind of thoughts
or a whirlpool to drown me!!!

everything seems blue,
and i have no clue.
Can someone help me?
Can someone sort it out?
how to get these things out!!!