You see I was I was
reading this book right
this real great book
and i had it in my hands
and im seeing this scene
that its describing
im not gonna go into the details
right now per se but im seeing it
in my head, you know
you know like how when
youre reading the words
but not really because they
are becoming blurred
and the picture just
kinda appears
in your brain
like you are living it,
like you are actually there
but you can't be
its just something that you see
without eyes
it blooms and engulfs the inside
of your mind
it opens the door and enters calmly
and makes it self at home, like a
painting on the wall
or or
like a number youve been meaning to call
do you see what im saying?

so that got me thinking, hear me out
you can imagine anything, yes i know duh
the pictures can sprout and bloom
become overgrown and be trimmed
maintained or treated with disdain
or with some good ole TLC,
really anything you want
a home a gnome a crystal phone
in Rome trapped on the wrong end of a honed
pearly white bone,
what does it mean oh let me tell you
i havent got a clue not one
but what about
a light you were shown when you were
younger but somehow still aware
that what you really need is somewhere
out there
or in there I should say,
does that mean something or does it
only hold significance because its your memory
of what you did when you were young
because right now you arent moving you arent seeing
anything you are just there with a blank stare
and if you measured the time that was lost
in this state it would be sad it would be
disappointing yeah if you watched it from the side
but from my view its fantastic i see lights
in different colors and see crystal worlds and
different others, thoughts borne of differing
mothers from different places
but all the same
down the same path
from the same origin,
its all really a walk down the map
to find your own x
but thats a discussion for another day
but as i was saying it could lead
to so many different places
filled with beautiful faces and cases
left shattered and broken on the ground
and everything is sound and safe
but then there is a clap or a pop
and bam you are awake, aware
that you were stuck staring into thin air
trying to see shapes  
awake awake awake
and then its all gone like an old song
that youve forgotten the words too
but sounds so so so so
familiar,
you know?

How do we explain a near death experience
Especially when it was the first fresh breath we took
How to explain light
When dark is all that’s ever know
How do you turn to blasphemy
When God’s light directly shines
And enlighten the most important movement of one’s life
How do we even begin to explain
When we died for the last time
Still we can try borrowing quotes
And metaphors, rhymes and tinker of words
Though they will be as useful as trying to eat fire and sip rocks
But how do you stitch a soul into something
When you’ve only known hollow inside
This was how it was
When we saw them for the first time
You don’t realize drowning
Till you touch the surface for the first time
It was a dance slow and steady
Our beings so close even air changed it path
Yet so far way, we couldn’t have been further apart
It was was that time when time didn’t exist
when blood came easy
And breath came harsh
How do we explain them
Without tassing every sorry excuse for a phrase
Into the river in despair
Full of more soul than soulful
And holding more sorrow
Than a broken something in middle of the most beautiful
...One thing
The sole living evidence that god existed
And a sweet sting that The devil is not too far behind
For something so divine cannot exist without
Existence exiting itself
A faithful service, a conspiracy between coincidence and fate
Masters of talking to much and saying nothing
While being too much and existing nowhere
Who bear more meaning than meaning of meaning itself
And holds less meaning that the word iqwbefbl
This is the most accurate description of the time
We saw, when the heart of stone spared a beat
For the first time
And the last time

The leaves dance for the breeze,
birds hop and glide from tree to tree.
Cicadas throaty song and the crickets cracking chirps,
the vibrations sent into my ear
in a humming tornado swirl.
Life moves with ease, if you let it.

A memory recalled and the scene brought back
found in the sleek motion of a pouncing cat.
Shown to forethought, brought under the light
a recollection lost to the wind
lit in hollow tones of hazy purple.

Nuzzled between the layers in those forgotten days,
Life will pass with ease, if you let it.

Turn turn turn,
the globe on it's rotating limb it turns.
Light shines, line fades,
time aches but quickens its pace.

The flame it should burn the blurred heat
rises in mist all around,
I can't i can't i can't
feel the flame forming, lashing at my feet.

The shoreline night breeze sends my bones
shivering and knocking and aching,
can someone tell me why
the horizon will not stop shaking?

A look above,
breath found within the shining eye
of the crowded moon, behind a blooming star
their retreating dance in tempo with the lights
as they shake and dim.

Clear and vacant eyes,
Cleared out and left to rot
in the twisting tumbling weeds
of memories you thought you had forgot.

The girls at the playground
don't talk to me.
They look
and stare
and whisper
and yet ignore me.

"What did I do,"
I always ask myself.
Am I ugly?
Do I smell?
Am I too loud?
Or annoying?
Or stupid?
Or weird?

Those days of girls and insecurities have passed.
Loud and proud, baby.

Weird, schmeird.

Unwound myself from this wool just enough to breath,
Cut the rope around my neck and tie my shoes up tight.
Looking in a mirror of reflections, seeing new memories and old balled into one.
Not sure where I am, this mirror maze distracting me from where I'm heading.

this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be

and this is my december
this is my deep slumber
and this is
the only way i know how to be free

this is my memory
and there is
nothing you can take
from i

this is my city
and this is
where they all come to die

these are my blessings
mixing with my sins

i made this leash
and now it makes me want to
sleep forever


and i'll give it all away
i'll give it all to you
just to see how you'll look

and i'll sell it all away
all of me - in red and blues
just to free me from what you took

this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be

and i'll give it all away
just to have a place to be


and if you find me someday
don't disappear as soon
as i count to three

and this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be


and i'll give it all away
to find a way far from here

and i'll live it all the way
until you find me there
cutting myself open so i can see


and this is our december,
but i know you don't know how
to feel no more,

this is my thunder
and i'm drowning far too under
the blankets to feed

this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be

until i leave

and this is what i remember
this is what i breathe,
how it all will be.

this is what i remember

All of your one word answers
Fall on deaf ears
I’ve fallen apart
Disconnected
And I’m back at the start
When we would talk for hours
And laugh at all the same parts

Blue skies, that fade to cream, that fade to a navy ache.
The sun and moon are poetry that only I awake -
What solitude.
Back home, I'm bleeding out
like rivulets to the sea
the sun and moon are a verse that only I can read
silent and soft, the touch of god
that bleeds down to the sea.