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Content?
Never heard of it.
I only know
Shitposting
A "poem" every day.
I'm going to Paris in a few days,
Definetly going to Quartier Latin and then of course steal the mona Lisa and start a revolution
Let's get the barricade boys
Don't trust the baguette
A "poem" every day.
To all the people reading this:
I love u
I hope you have a great day
: )
A poem every day.
The next poems
Will be shitposts
Because I'm on vacation
Sorry
A poem every day.
Found a lady the other day,
Older than time itself.
Outlive the dinosaurs,
With wrinkles that touched the ground.
They were large enough for a child to swing in,
For me to use as a hammock.
She says to me “do you love me?”
And I say yes, but only if I can sleep in your skin folds.
She has ended homelessness,
By just existing.
People have found comfort in an old lady’s skin.
On the first day when I lost my mind to the cosmos.
I found myself in the body of a pig. With other happy fat hairy pigs around me.
Being naked felt natural. I did not feel the need to clothe myself.
I layed in the mud all day long, letting it harden on my skin; god did it feel good, like a spa treatment except I didn't need to pay a penny. I would come out of my mud hole during meal time, when food was dumped into the feeder. I did not care what it was, hell, it didn't smell that good, but I ate it all up anyway. It could have been **** for all I know. I was content with this simple life, until the farmer threw a rope around my neck, pulling me into a freaky looking house with sharp objects hanging from the ceiling.
He tied me to a pole, making me feel nice a comfortable, treating me like a family member, only then to shoot me by surprise. To him I was just a big fat sack of meat.

I awoke from my life as a pig and found myself sitting on a couch. I was drenched in sweat, mouth gaping like an open ******* from what I saw.
My friend tried to talk to me, but I did not understand nor know how to speak the language of humans anymore. All I could do was squeal and oink.
I stripped naked, got down on all fours and started rolling around in the garden's soil just outside my house.
I ate the flowers that stemmed out of the soil, as well as the weeds growing around them.
The neighbors reported me for public ******, so I was sent to a mental institute, where I was taught how to speak like a human again and act like one too.

I gained a new perspective that day.
I vowed to all the animals that I would never eat them again,
and begun my journey into only eating plant based foods.

Vegan food makes my poo hard!
It is so good for me!
This is the benefit of living a plant based life.
If only you wanted your poo to be hard too.

On the second day when I lost my mind to the cosmos.
I was a carrot, and I had a family of carrots.
We were all buried underground, we never saw eachother, but we felt eachother, they were all around me.
I didn't need to breathe, I didn't need to move, I just needed to sit there, absorbing the solar rays that shone upon my green leaves protruding from the earth's crust. All I saw was darkness, but all I felt was warmth. I spent a thousand happy years as a carrot, but that changed when the havesters came.
They plucked us from our homes, tore us from our families and siezed the children!
They then proceeded to chop us up into bite sized pieces and boiled us in sizziling hot water, causing our skins to peal. We would then be served to the hungry mouths of the harvester’s wife and children, crying out for mercy, but our pleas were not heard, for they only heard with their ears, not with their feelings, like us carrots.

I awoke and found myself sitting on the couch again. Suddenly I was choking. I put my hands around my neck. I had forgotten how to breathe. Spending a thousand years as a carrot would do that to you, because you don't need to breathe as a carrot. My friend rushed into the room, and showed me how to breathe again, showing me how to **** in and blow out, which I did.
I had also forgotten how to talk, and needed to go to school once again to learn, because apparently talking with feelings is not a language.

I gained a new perspective that day,
I pledged to all my carrot brethern that I would never eat another vegetable again.
From now on I would stave myself so I could return to the earth,
feeding all the plants and animals.
My body is their salvation.

By cutting that carrot you are cutting yourself.
By eating that pig you are eating yourself.
You may not look the same,
but what you all feel is the same.

---

To you this is ******, but to me this is salvation.
In order to survive, I must feed.
The life that is strongest feeds on the weakest to survive, it is how we stay alive.
Nobody says a snake is a murderer when it swallows up a mouse.
Nobody says a venus fly trap is a murderer when it devourers a fly.
So why am I labelled a murderer when I eat meat and plant life?
Life needs to eat life,
It is how we stay alive.
Life needs to eat life,
It is how we survive.

---

I passed through the knot in the infinite line of things. I passed through the biological mapping of the knot, escaping my limitations, becoming limitless.
It was here where I saw myself in the carrot and in the pig. I saw myself in everything, and I saw everything in myself.
What The Actual ****.
Media Outlet:

“I just heard the biggest load of ******* today,
This guy had a lot of crazy **** to say.

He was kissing his wife, who suddenly changed form in front of him.
Looking like a scaly, grey-skinned Asian grandma with Kardasian lips, a watermelon for a head, and eyes as black as holes.
He claims not only have these aliens infiltrated our government, but they have infiltrated his love life as well.
The alien apparently knocked him the **** out, and he could not remember much after that.
Then a week later he was found *** naked in the middle of the scorching Sahara desert, baked like a **** in the over turned up way too **** high.

Well if that ain't the biggest load of ******* you people have read today then I don't know what is”.

The Public:

“He is insane!
He is crazy!
If he was a drug he would have been snorted up by the embodiment of *******!
It's like he wrote a script for a b-rated sci-fi movie!”

---

Podcast Host:

“And we are live.
Welcome to the Misfits show.
It is a pleasure to have you joining us today.
Now we were hesitant about bringing you on here becaus-”

Guest:

“Because my name has been demonized by the mainstream media,
literally hundreds, no, thousands, no, millions of articles have been coming out against me, calling me a schizophrenic!”

Podcast Host:

“Yeah, like.....just the other day I saw an article calling you the pinnacle of conspiracy theorists”.

Guest:

“Oh yeah, these people love to **** in the wind, but get shocked when their shoes get all wet.
I am the ******* hurricane that is going to blow all their **** back onto their piggy skins, I am not taking anyone's ****”.

Podcast Host:

“Okay....so how do you defend yourself against these claims?”

Guest:

“Well I ain't gonna lie, you will need to get comfortable for this, because you are in for a ride”.

Podcast Host:

“Um okay, let's hear it then”.

---

You got to believe me when I tell you this story,
it has been removed from our history.

Stay away from that ******* kitty litter,
Don't want no demon cat possessing you and turning you into a crazy cat lady now.
Keep your children away from the kitty litter.
It is making the grass hoppers suicidal,
Got the birds ******* out decomposed snails for other snails to eat to repeat it's cycle.
Don't let it get into your children's heads!


The samurai warriors at the top have grown big *** human tissue farms.
Got cows producing human milk and spiders turning their guts into armour.
They are planting embryos into cows, creating these cow people, striping them of their human rights.
Slaughtering them, putting them on a harvest table for the Buddhists to eat up.
These aliens created the TV, the radio, and the ******* blade runners.
Just so they can get us out of the picture.

They want to play god.
They are at war with our creator.
There is a post human era approaching,
a deal has been struck,
with the shapeshifting transgender lizard people from outerspace!

They got us high on the space winds,
melting minds in a microwave.
I can feel the calming vibrations coming through when blood hits the ground!

Don't call me a schizophrenic!
Let me tell you what a schizophrenic is!
A ****** thinks the sun is following him and that his dog is a government spy.

Question everything that you see,
The universe is infinite,
so don't think you have it all figured out.

You call me crazy!
But you are the one that is crazy!
You are trying to silent me!
Well I will not go down quietly!

You can't half **** this, you have to go ***** deep to find the information.
Now let me continue.

Why would they waste seven pounds of meat?
These little ***** of flesh.
They are keeping them alive and stealing their ******* organs, man.

****** had witches surrounding him and ****,
doing rituals and **** to bring in these big titted alien women,
Smelling the blood of the sacrifice and gobbling it up like ******* sharks.
They seduced little ****** with a big space ship and he just kept bringing them in.

This world is run by demons!
Only the elves can see them.
They stop their hearts to talk to them.
They come out knowing more than any scientist.

These elves can see a future,
a future that doesn't involve us,
they are trying to **** us!

Pin pricked with needles!
Brain drain through cell phone towers!
Microwaved human embryos!
They are softly killing us!
Wake the **** up!

---

Podcast Host:

“..............and that is a wrap, thank you for coming out and sharing that with us. It was really something”

Guest:

“No problem, man. Thank you for having me”
Something you write when you are ******* tired.
Never drop kick an alien,
Or they will shoot fudge in your ears,
And nut in your eye.
Then stick a needle in it,
Then stick a probe up your ****** pipes.

Nobody wants those things done to them, so I advise that you don’t ******* the alien that took you from your planet.

Oh **** the E Mother ******* T is at it again,
Stealing cows and ****.
Running the farmers out of business.
What do they need the cows for anyway.
Is their planet running out of milk or something?
Are their women not producing enough ***** milk for baby alien lips or something?
Makes me so mad that I want to drop kick an alien....
But I need to keep it together,
Because I know what they will do to me if I do.
Been stepping on the roaches again.
Couldn’t see them on the black tiles.
Next time I should remember to put the light on.
Because now I got bug matter all over my shoes.

It is hard to notice the little people,
When you are big and wondering around in the dark.
Please take notice of where you step,
Because you might be stepping on someone else.

Oh please look down,
I may be small,
But that doesn't mean I don’t exist at all!
Can you hear my little bug voice from way up there?!
You are about to silence it forever!

The next time you take a step,
Consider what it may do to another,
Because you may end up with a squished roach on the tiles.
MisfitOfSociety Sep 2018
Okay,
It goes like this you see.

10pm, on a late thursday evening. I was sweating like a ****** in church. I grabbed my armbands and turned on the shower. It was cold as ice to the touch, but begun to warm up eventually. Thank god my wife remembered to turn the geezer on or else I was going to slap a *****, create waves of flesh on that **** *** face of hers.


Anyway.
After stripping down to my birthday suit, I popped on some shampoo and spreaded that **** in my hair. Creating a burning sensation, tingly, like ants crawling in my head.
Suddenly I was smacked like an unwanted child by the smell of burnt toast in the air,
with the shampoo still sitting in my hair.
I turned around and right before me, something was coming out of the plug hole, like something out of a b-rated horror movie.
Looking like my wife's homemade cooking, **** was alive, and then it lunged at me.
I tell you, if it was not for those Tom Cruise movies lecturing me in the art of total *** kicking, I would be a dead naked man with armbands in a tub, being eaten by the unholy guacamole.

You gotta believe me,
when I tell this story,
This was not all in my head,
You can't just write off what I have said.
I know it must sound insane,
But a mexican's lunch crawled out of the drain,
I beat it's *** like a drum,
like Lars Ulrich at a metallica concert ,
and sent the **** back down the hole it crawled out of.
The devil wanted to bring me down to the deep end,
It is a good thing I bought my arm bands.
What the absolute ****.
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