It takes strength to walk away from a toxic relationship, weakness to stay.

Wishful thinking will have you believing old problems or tyrant personalities have or will dissipate.

By constantly relenting, nothing will change.

Having said that, there is still time for you to gather your strength.

Take a stand, don’t stay victim to someone unworthy of your love.

Instead just walk away.

he sings about a family photograph
in a language i understand no better
than a mathematical equation
and i grasp the strength and weakness in his voice
and the vibrations they send through my wooden table and all its contents
my eyelids flutter open and shut like a dying moth,
trying to be in sync with the music but unable to
i stretch and fold my legs as i hit the replay button,
crack some knuckles and glance around in double vision
as i'm being slowly oxidized to death
i have pictures of a smiling childhood idol
pasted on the wardrobes,
a  series of little pale yellow lights
taped apologetically to the textured, pastel blue wall.
i have writings on my wall in colours i cant find within myself,
and i suddenly pray this poem won't disappear
with the glitches of technology.
i pray to nobody, no god, no spirit.
being the atheist i am, i feel strange closing my eyes,
“please let it be okay” echoing in my head every time.
but these are not my thoughts.
these are not your thoughts.
they simply are.
he continues belting out notes
and i breathe without rhythm.
my lungs are tone deaf.
i get goosebumps on my hairless limbs for a second.
applause resounds, it's a live recording of the song.
short pause, next.
piano picks up pace
and the mellow voice of a different man
of the same tongue fills the room.
a little more lively.
i realize it's not the words you need
to understand what he means.

He is an image of illness,
Feeding tube through his nose,
An IV his constant companion,
Every procedure altering his personality
His fragility terrifying, ghosts would envy his pasty complexion
His cells mutating, he is frustrated,
And I stand and watch...
And wish I could save him

Superheroes inspire us all,
superheroes make us marvel.
Superheroes are adored
from Beijing to Washington D.C.

But superheroes don't wear capes,
they wear a '96 Olympic shirt
and loose-fitting pants
you would never catch me in.

They don't have x-ray vision,
they've worn glasses
for as long as you remember.
They cannot fly,
and yet they seem larger than life.

They never seem to lie,
and they still say "I love you"
in the exact same way
almost sixty years after they bound it to eternity.

They don't have super-strength,
but they are your super strength
and they lift you up
until you can do it on your own.

They seem invincible,
but life has a way of reminding you
that even Superman has Kryptonite.

They are stubbornly steady
even when the bill of health
isn't clean.
Just as they are your strength,
you feel your aching mortality
when you find out
even superheroes get cancer.

Yet somehow,
after their greatest battle is fought,
there they are in all that remains
spreading an unyielding light
upon whoever sees them soaring by.


We wear an "S", a bat,
or even a spider
to pretend that we are our heroes
and emulate their image;
but I won't wear that old shirt,
or those terrible, worn-in jeans.
Instead,
I'll harness that unbreakable spirit,
and maybe one day
I'll be a superhero too.

I looked into myself one day,
like I never looked before,
and I realized that what I have inside: I don't want it anymore!

All these weaknesses, this is not who I want to be;
this is not even how other people see me....

I thought I was stronger, I thought I was smarter, I saw myself braver, better than I was, I overestimated myself, I guess I just need a pause.

The door to my soul is open, it just doesn't close, maybe all of this is from a sadness overdose.

What I have inside, I need to clean it out; tried to do it alone, but it just wouldn't let go; all the problems in me just keep saying no! We won't go!

Now, I still got my faults,
I still have my flaws,
but I also disappointed myself;
I couldn't keep my own laws...

Refrain, restrain,
all things are in vain. 

I thought I could do it,
but I had to learn the hard way,

only God can save me:
there is no other way;

you can improve yourself, sure,
you can get better, but there will be a time when you'll be caught off guard, later, when your not ready, or when your tired, who will hold you up then, someone you admired?

Anyone will criticize, anyone can point, but who will stop to help, who won't disappoint?

Only Jesus can help you, only He can set you free, 
from the struggles inside,
from all of which you flee,
and no matter what,
to Him you can always go,
if you need help,
you can always ask, and the truth will set you free,
free from your own mask,
and your lies,
you won't need them anymore, cause on wings of truth you'll soar,
and when you'll need to stand,
you can stand tall,
on a mountain of truth from which you can never fall. 

Now in Him I can improve, in Him I can grow,
because He forgave my sins, He made them go, no,
I don't have to worry, about my destiny, he gave me peace,
he made me worry-free.

I forgot it for a bit, forgot the way to the light, I forgot that He saved me long ago, saved me with His might.

There is nothing here for me, nothing more to see, so I'm on my way now, to become forever free.