The thing about love is that
you can never be for sure
about anything
if they'll stay
if they'll go
how'll they will act
how'll they will be
how long they will love
and how long they may leave
but the best thing about love is that
it comes down to trust
and if you have it and you can believe
then it will work
you just have to wait and see.

This will be my first Christmas in eight years without you
And it's nearly brought me to my knees
I waited for you
I waited
The one thing you apparently can't do
Everyone leaves
Everyone
EVERYONE LEAVES
but .  .  .
I never thought it would be you.

This will always be our season
Even though
You Lied, Love

Oh beautiful people,
take a deep breath.

Dawn still whispers
Droplets onto my windows
As I stare out into the sky
Realizing dusk never comes soon enough

Where do you go
After the moonlight fades
Your soft lips still lingering
On my aching skin?

For only in the midst of the night
Do I truly feel alive
Which makes me wonder
If its the power of the stars
Looking down upon us
That fills my veins with such energy

Or if its the power of your eyes
When they stare deep into my soul
As they glisten with the night's
Deepest desires as you whisper
    *I love you

This is it.
The last step.
The final action.
This is all I have to do.
Before I feel the sweet release
Of death.
Freedom.
Is that what they call it?
Release.
Maybe that's it.
Letting go.
But it's so hard.
Stepping off.
There's no turning back now.
Closing my eyes.
I've made my decision.
Taking a breath.
I feel the wind rushing past me.
Heart racing.
I plummet towards the ground.
No, wait.
I can't stop this.
It's permanent.
I wish I hadn't.
They'll miss you.
I didn't say goodbye.
It's a shock as you hit the ground.
I can't feel anything.
There's blood everywhere.
I hear screaming.
Your body shouldn't be at that angle.
I can't undo this, can I?
The sirens are getting louder.
I see my mom. She's crying.
They load you onto the stretcher.
Wait, I'm still here! Mom! Can't you hear me?
Your voice is gone, and so are you.
I see a bright darkness.
Walk towards it.
It consumes me.
Time of death: 9:34 a.m.

patient love,
they tell me.

it's the best love,
yet here i am
alone in the dark.

wait for love,
they say.

i just want to
jump blindly
and see what
happens.

you told me you'd always
be there waiting to catch me for when or if I was ready to fall.

i would look down
and see you with your
outstretched arms and unwavering eyesight set on me.

all this time you've been ready for me,
and so one day i jumped.
i jumped to and for only you.
and as i made my descent i looked down to see you.
and i did. see. you.

but you were running to catch someone else.
someone that was ready before me.

this was the day i had chosen to trust you with my love.
this was the day that you broke me in more ways than one.

you arrived too early and faltered and i arrived too late and shattered.

{d.f. | 11/29/17}

As I wait for the inevitability that lurks beyond the horizon,
I wish I could sleep, relax.

As I wait for this torturous life to continue,
I wish I could look beyond, longingly.

As I wait for the tests and trials to come,
I wish I could believe their words of comfort, help.

As I wait for the oncoming storm,
I wish. Hope.