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Ignatius Hosiana May 2016
Don't wait till I'm tired to encourage me,I won't move on
Don't wait till I'm crippled to tell me about miracles,I won't believe
Don't wait till I'm frozen to warm me,I won't appreciate
Don't wait until I've stepped the trap to caution me, it won't help
Don't wait till I'm shattered to tell me I can be whole, I won't listen
Don't wait for me to yawn to give me food, I won't eat it
Don't wait until the treasures are depleted to tell me if I dig I'll find
its useless to tell me passion will drive me insane after I'm out of my mind
Don't wait till I'm famous to praise my pieces, aren't you seeing them now?
Don't wait until the Antelope has turned tail to hand me the bow
Don't wait for the birds to fly off the tree to hand me the catapult
Don't wait for me to step on the live wire to lecture me about vaults
Don't wait for me to slip and fall to tell me the place is slippery when wet
Don't wait until you've wronged me to preach "forgive and forget"
Don't wait until I'm in flames to tell me not to play with fire, bury my ashes
Don't try shutting stables after they're gone, instead run after those Horses
Don't wait until I'm soaked to give me an umbrella,I won't accept
Don't wait for the storms to wreck me to show me how to sail
who can listen to instructions while battling waves and hail
Don't wait until the snake has stricken to tell me about the venoms
for a dying man has no time and ears for caution then on
Don't wait for the war to devastate and ruin to preach peace
bombs would have deafened or the machetes cut me piece by piece
Don't wait for me to plunge to ask me if I've worn a ******
like a kidnapper freeing hostages prior demanding for ransom
Don't wait until I've dived into the Sea to ask whether I can swim
Don't wait for the end of days to find out whether I believes in Him
Don't wait until I'm bleeding to tell me about the beauty of scars
or until a clear night to praise the beauty of stars
Don't wait until I'm malnourished to bring me aid
until I'm dead and gone to praise the words I said
Don't wait for my life to flood to dredge the silt
that wouldn't be kindness, that would either be mockery or guilt  
Don't wait for me to find someone to feelings for me admit
Don't wait to offer a helping hand when I'm totally deadbeat
why wait to raise a wall when you can fill the crevice
you have something to do, to instill, to say, to caution, to give
do it now while I smile, while I'm strong, while I live
Don't  speak about the adulterations after I've drunk from the chalice
Nora R Feb 2015
With an azure drinking cup studded with lapis, wait for her
In the evening at the spring, among perfumed roses, wait for her
With the patience of a horse trained for mountains, wait for her
With the distinctive, aesthetic taste of a prince, wait for her
With seven pillows stuffed with light clouds, wait for her
With strands of womanly incense wafting, wait for her
With the manly scent of sandalwood on horseback, wait for her
Wait for her and do not rush.

If she arrives late, wait for her.
If she arrives early, wait for her.
Do not frighten the birds in her braided hair.
Wait for her to sit in a garden at the peak of its flowering.
Wait for her so that she may breathe this air, so strange to her heart.
Wait for her to lift her garment from her calf, cloud by cloud.
And wait for her.

Take her to the balcony to watch the moon drowning in milk.
Wait for her and offer her water before wine.
Do not glance at the twin partridges sleeping on her chest.
Wait and gently touch her hand as she sets a cup on marble.
As if you are carrying the dew for her, wait.
Speak to her as a flute would to a frightened violin string,
as if you knew what tomorrow would bring.
Wait, and polish the night for her ring by ring.
Wait for her until Night speaks to you thus:
There is no one alive but the two of you.
So take her gently to the death you so desire,
and wait.
Poem by Palestinian Poet Mahmoud Darwish. My favorite poet of all time and sadly does not have a profile I am aware of on HP.
Jade  Sep 2015
On Waiting
Jade Sep 2015
By the bus stop
By the lake
By the curb beside my leg
In the sun
Or in the rain
In the cold
I'm shivering in
Wait wait wait wait
Waiting for the falling rain
In a drought has never been
I am atoning for my sin
Wait wait wait wait
Waiting for the flowers to bloom
In a winter storm has never been
I am barely holding it in
Wait wait wait wait
For the love of god
My soul to take
I cannot run from my fate
If it is to waste away while I wait
Wolfey  Jun 2013
I can't wait
Wolfey Jun 2013
I can't wait for you to notice me.
I can't wait to spend hours on the phone.
I can't wait for the butterflies to erupt.
I can't wait for you to laugh at my stupidness.
I can't wait for the late night walks,
hand in hand.
I can't wait for the lonely yet romantic kisses.
I can't wait for the cute, ******* photos that I'll remember.
I can't wait to make memories that will never be forgotten.
I can't wait for 'friendly' touching.
I can't wait to fall.
I can't wait for you to say 'I love you'.
I can't wait to say it back.
I can't wait to get heartbroken.
I can't wait for the tears and agony.
I can't wait for the moment your forget me.
I can't wait for the times I can't forget you.
I can't wait for you to actually remember me.
I can't wait for you to say you miss me.
But what I can't wait for most,
is when I fall back in love with you all over again.
Pierre Ray Mar 2012
Only for you! It’s true! These eccentric-poetic and theoretic views! As we breakthrough those blues, those clues, the dues and the hues. I will wait, I will wait. Awaiting, through the chills the pills, the shrills and thrills! I will wait, I will wait. Waiting through the beers, the cheers, the fears, leers, peers and tears! Awaiting through the dreary and weary...

Through the lonely and phony years... Waiting through the erratic and sporadic. The drastic, elastic and fantastic! I will wait, I will wait. As rotting bait! I will wait, I will wait. Awaiting the date the debate, the fate and the weight. Waiting to articulate and procreate! Fascinating this procrastinating! However, I will endeavor and wait,
I will wait and wait.

Horary! Awaiting I say for our hour of power. Waiting for this blissfully and wishfully day that our disgraced, misplaced ways may physically brace with embrace, grace and trace! I wait and I wait. People wonder why I blunder in ponder? You’re like the flu doesn’t that bother you? Answer, father figure I never knew? Still I will wait,
I will wait, I will wait for you…
Johnny Noiπ Oct 2018
Between the disabled sunset with the police,
The foot of the foot is equal to the mother
who wrote the beginning of the light in the Cold Age
of wave machinery and strippers feeding on roasted
chicken.            ||  It is a natural spiritual expression.
On coming to ground radio burning blockages.
Marcus slipped out to **** and now hides |||
from the swan city;      And the ultimate magic
wins about Einstein;    If you are a living radio
like paradise on the computer;
He warned those who were now standing.
Baby ***** before her sister gets near,
Speaking of a happy husband eating ****.
Products concerned about site sites.
If you are a human being,     we know Portuguese.
1 mystery of life and abstractness;
using the John Deere led to a shock,
My father was good, for example,         to be able
to make the use of:
The green slim active in her Chinese parts
and the slender finger to feel the hot feet walking
to Genoa for Karachi's kiss.
Me and around me, feeling smart;
the woman broken, into smaller habitats for Sodomites,
fire, stealing and debt,                      but in reality
Unfortunately, it starts to provide new food
The answer is that you are young and old.
The world was a cheat,   an apparition of the AP;
Asian *** Corporation's infection of the party.
Drink, drink, drink, and come suddenly,
You do not drink between the trees in your socks,
in a woman, or to rise, and to die,
you have to stop one day for the dog waiting for you,
Meaning the transfer and conversion of ions.
Enter the number you want to add.
* * No song is available anymore. The old man he outlived,
The socks of the hands keep the eyes uncovered,
and a Building almost directly bought by six divines;
the naked look from the top of the stomach,
Especially if you have the abortion look.
Looking on a stomach pattern,               you are thinking,
And what do you want me to do for you,
or what do you want to do?
When you do the will of the people,           remember it,
along with the love of people between the injured police
at sunset
underfoot but equal to his mother,                          who
In the beginning of the age of light in the cold
waves of the works,                 a colt the stripper feeds
only roasted grains as Natural to the spirit.
Who, when they were,  and come to the radio,
is worn down which burneth with an obstacle.
Marcus slipped in to ****,           State hiding the swan,
but the ultimate magic that Einstein wins,
If you are living like a radio paradise on the computer;
He warned that those who are now standing still
in the presence of an infant, suckled as it is close
to her sister,             | Speaking of a happy man eating
a stern steer,   products concerned about the situation;
If you are a man,      you know Portuguese.
1 The mystery of life and a process of abstraction,
John Deere led to a shock;             the good father,
for example,            should be able to make use of
The green slime, active and in Chinese pairs.
This is the subtle finger,                      at his feet,
to walk while feeling hot into her Karachi arms
and sunkissed
Genoa; me, and around me,     feeling the pain,
a woman is to be released to a small location,
not a queen,  on fire and in debt, cheating,
but in reality unfortunately,    it begins to provide
new food; the answer that you are young and old.
In the world there was no power,        AP apparition
Asian *** Corporation; the infection of a part to the
Drink, drink, and be to come will come, and I will
not drink among the tree socks of a woman,
or arise at the dead time of waiting for the dog to stop;
Love is the conversion of ions.              Enter the number
you wish you add. * * * *  Carmen is no longer available.
An old man lived; The socks are to keep to hand,
of the eyes building from himself,  almost godlike by six;
                          The naked look at the top of the stomach
If you look especially for an abortion.
When I think of the bra model,       and what do you want
to do, you want to do?                When thou makest a will,
does not thou make mention of thy love?
Doms are born crippled, sleeping with cops,
walking barefoot,                mother equals who wrote
the start of the lights at the tender age,
wave machine,  stripper characters into fried chicken,
flaring tempers are natural,         the spirit of painting
on the beach entering the radio and burning the obstacles
in the house of the ***-******* Ivan, on top,
United and hidden in the Swan City
of Einstein's ultimate triumphs over the magical
computer of a Fat Ham Radio on the Road to Paradise
it notifies us that the people who are standing
before the giant **** of the nearby Sisters,
speaking of **** and eating feminine hygiene
products. this poem is of the sacred places.

If you are a sacred man,              we know Portugiski.
the desert of 1 lives in the abstract,
to keep John Deere ted to the monster
whose kindness, for example, we could use,
Leather and Flames, Slim, Alive, Pious and Chinese,
with skinny toes,       legs feeling warm from all that walking,
knees feeling stupid,                             kiss me, put your arms
around me and let me savor the sensation;
female, broken,                 Sodomite from the lower Kingdom,
winds, kidnappings,            |       the bandwidth of **** reality
began the fresh offer to the       ||              Beloved of the flesh,
the answer is that you are the youth, the origin
of the witch of the planet was an apparition AP,
the Asian ****** corporation;                      The opposite wing
does not speak, I drink, I drink,                   I'm suddenly drunk
or I get up in the middle of the bar;               in feminine socks
the dying dog is waiting for rain to stop,
says ions moving and changing the meaning
of the number of tickets opting for the strange
* ode * without the known Jew.      The ancient order lived
invisible forever keeping the path of the viola to the socks
of the flat **** goddesses that lead almost directly
from the ******* bar and looks up at her *****;
If you're going to shoot with a predominantly ****
point-of-view from the bra, than you have to think
what would you like to do or want to be done to you
when does he make love to you?    Remember to imagine
in the plural, Love
|
Among the police offenses at sunset
in the mother tongue of the beginning of the age,
however the light in the cold. The work of the waves
and poultry feed to the stripper load
Natural to the spirits. When,   when they arrive
at the radio they burn the forest with obstacles.
The ship is running to break them.
Records hide and Swan; However,
the ultimate magic Einstein wins; If you are
a ray living in a paradise like a computer.
Imagine those who are now standing up.
in the presence of an infant suckling her ****
that is almost up to her sister, speaking of
sweet people eating a stagnant phenomenon.
Products of the situation of the existence
of abstract patterns;    John's roe deer led to a shock;
and the Father is, for example,
if he is able to use it,
The two-digit, Chinese handbag.
This is a fine finger and forefoot feeling to hot to walk
kissing Genoa's                        arming of stupid polling.
Me, and around me,                              feeling the pain;
The women have to be released for a little amount
of status,     she is the queen of fire because of cheating,
but in reality. Unfortunately, you start to offer new food
The answer is that you are young and old.
In the world, and there's no power, APC apparition
Asian *** Corporation; party disease, Drink, drink,
I will not come and drink of the fruit of the generations;
There are socks between trees and a woman, or the rise,
to stop waiting for the moment of the dead,
and with a dog,           Love will cause ions.
Among the numbers you want to add is further.
* *                    Carmen is no longer supported. The Mediterranean
lived Socks in hand,                as we have seen.
We write for themselves,                           almost godlike about six.
Consider it empty
If you look at every abortion,
I'm thinking ******* template,
And what do you want to do,    or want me to do?
When you drink a cup of coffee,           |    do not mention
their love

In the morning,      the sun is the greatest among officials;
The Mother Tongue at the beginning of the season of light
in the cold ocean waves and chickens to load
and natural spirits.    When they did not arrive at the radio,
who is to burn the bush to them.
This car runs to break them.
A Broken record magazines, however, Einstein's success
is unsuccessful if the light in paradise is just like a computer.
Left to upheld the fetus before the drink,
almost everyone to his brother talks and who
are the couple with the happy delivery.
The products set. If you are a man,       you know Portuguese.
1, and to abstract the forms and in the mysteries of the world;
John's deer accident survivor,      he is the father, for example,
if you can fit ******* into a Chinese handbag,
This is the finger,        |     |  and a warm feeling of the walking
paws at Genoa, O thou weapons of lewdness hast polluted the kiss.
Me, and around me, feeling his grief;
Women must have the records,      
| |   that the State is of a Queen
for the sake of which the option, | there is in Him.
Until they start making the new foods
the answer is that you are young and old.
In the world,       and there is power and power PC
Asia Corporation ***; the third part of the disease;
Drink me, drink young, forever.   The socks
are among the trees on a woman, or the rise;
stand and wait for the time of the dead
when the dog desires to cause ions
in large numbers,     |  you want to add more.
Catullus can not miss. || ||The power of art,|||
and they also wear their own clothes, as we have seen.
You write that we, our kings,    
are almost to be found
in almost six full years.
The search if empty
if you look for an abortion.
And I think plate plate.
And what do you want to do?
What you want me to do?
When you drank of the cup, || I did not mention
their love translations of wait, a verb:  exspecto,
expect, wait, look for, await, look out,
long; expecto; expect, look for,   wait,
await, hope, look out, opperior;   wait,
await. operior; wait, await praestolor,
wait, be ready, be prepared,      expect
maneo abide, remain, stay,    continue,
await, wait manto, stay, remain,   wait,
awaiting demoror;    don't        delaying hindering
the ******,
keep back, don't linger, but wait;  ministro serves,
wait to attend to assisting the supply,
providing praeministro attends,  ||   serve,
or serve up presents with, or to make a present of,
wait, noun: exspectatio,        expectation, looking
for, prospect, wait, awaiting, expecting;
expectatio; expectation, looking for,
prospect, wait, awaiting, expecting,
mora; delay, clog, stay, wait,  Pause,

Time
Scot Powers Feb 2013
Everything now turns to grey
sunshine disappears
to be replaced by your fears
I have listened to what you say
drifting lines divide
prejudice from pride

I'll wait for you
won't you come and join me
I'll wait for you
you'll be fine someday
I'll wait for you
till your dreams come true

Darkness now turns to day
light streaming through your eyes
shadows  start to die
now you must watch just what you say
words create your reality
open opportunity

I'll wait for you
won't you come and join me
I'll wait for you
you'll be fine someday
I'll wait for you
till your dreams come true

Now we've seen another way
time to get in your head
time to move ahead
watching you sit there everyday
wallow in your ****
die a little bit.

I'll wait for you
won't you come and join me
I'll wait for you
you'll be fine someday
I'll wait for you...

I  can't wait another day
standing tall
a fortress in my mind
ties that cannot bind
I can't wait to see today
what situation will arise
tears from your eyes

I'll wait for you
won't you come and join me
I'll wait for you
you'll be fine someday
I'll wait for you
till your dreams come true.
While bitcoin users daily grow
And uses accelerate
Should you wait to buy your bitcoin
Or buy bitcoin, then wait?

As you learn about hard money
And want to accumulate
Should you wait to buy your bitcoin
Or buy bitcoin, then wait?

When you want to plan ahead
And your needs anticipate
Should you wait to buy your bitcoin
Or buy bitcoin, then wait?

If you want to store your wealth
And value appreciate
Should you wait to buy your bitcoin
Or buy bitcoin, then wait?

Highly secure to send or save
And quick to authenticate
Should you wait to buy your bitcoin
Or buy bitcoin, then wait?

Only you can choose your path
Your future and your fate
But I’ll not wait to buy bitcoin
I’ll buy bitcoin, then wait
This is Bitcoin Poem 024 at BitcoinPoems.pro and you can see it displayed on a background when you (copy and paste the link below).
https://www.bitcoinpoems.pro/delivery024BuyBitcoinThenWait.html
JP Goss  Nov 2013
Waiting
JP Goss Nov 2013
Wait for the day
That you finally have the guts
Wait for the day
When words finally come
Wait for the day
When you can hold her close in every regard
Wait for the day
When everything is perfect
Wait for the day
When the moment is perfect
Wait for the day
When your excuses stop making sense
Wait for the day
That you’re the twinkle in her eyes
Wait for the day
When she comes to tell you everything
Wait for the day
When she’s confident to come near
Wait for the day
When she’s holding on to you
Wait for the day
She finally has the confidence
Wait for the day
When she looks at you
Wait for the day
When she’s not with him anymore
Wait for the day
When she’s happy
Wait for the day
That never comes
Wait for the day
When you’re still waiting.
I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine
Katrice Massey Sep 2013
I can't  wait to hold you,
I can't  wait to kiss your
Lips. I cant wait to touch
You give you the love that
You missed. Be by your side
Love you from the sun up
To the moon light night moon.

I can't wait to give you all my
Love baby girl you're  so beautiful.
I can't  wait to have you near i can't
Wait to be by your side whipe
Away your tears, baby be there to dry
Your eyes. Show you that love
Can be so true i can't  wait to
Hold you tight baby love
You for ever more.
Jordan Rowan Dec 2015
I'm not good at taking it slow
But I hope you know
Waiting isn't something I do well
But I'll wait for you, Annabelle

So many years since the day
I heard you say
"It's not time for us just yet"
And never did I once forget
That you were out there as well
As I waited for you, Annabelle

Time goes on and so it did
Just like you said
"It's not now or never"
But I said I'd wait forever
In all the time between heaven and hell
I'll wait for you, Annabelle

It's not easy for me to stand
As he takes your hand
But as long as he treats you well
I'll wait for you, Annabelle
Cass was the youngest and most beautiful of 5 sisters. Cass was the most beautiful girl
in town. 1/2 Indian with a supple and strange body, a snake-like and fiery body with eyes
to go with it. Cass was fluid moving fire. She was like a spirit stuck into a form that
would not hold her. Her hair was black and long and silken and whirled about as did her
body. Her spirit was either very high or very low. There was no in between for Cass. Some
said she was crazy. The dull ones said that. The dull ones would never understand Cass. To
the men she was simply a *** machine and they didn't care whether she was crazy or not.
And Cass danced and flirted, kissed the men, but except for an instance or two, when it
came time to make it with Cass, Cass had somehow slipped away, eluded the men.
Her sisters accused her of misusing her beauty, of not using her mind enough, but Cass
had mind and spirit; she painted, she danced, she sang, she made things of clay, and when
people were hurt either in the spirit or the flesh, Cass felt a deep grieving for them.
Her mind was simply different; her mind was simply not practical. Her sisters were jealous
of her because she attracted their men, and they were angry because they felt she didn't
make the best use of them. She had a habit of being kind to the uglier ones; the so-called
handsome men revolted her- "No guts," she said, "no zap. They are riding on
their perfect little earlobes and well- shaped nostrils...all surface and no
insides..." She had a temper that came close to insanity, she had a temper that some
call insanity. Her father had died of alcohol and her mother had run off leaving the
girls alone. The girls went to a relative who placed them in a convent. The convent had
been an unhappy place, more for Cass than the sisters. The girls were jealous of Cass and
Cass fought most of them. She had razor marks all along her left arm from defending
herself in two fights. There was also a permanent scar along the left cheek but the scar
rather than lessening her beauty only seemed to highlight it. I met her at the West End
Bar several nights after her release from the convent. Being youngest, she was the last of
the sisters to be released. She simply came in and sat next to me. I was probably the
ugliest man in town and this might have had something to do with it.
"Drink?" I asked.
"Sure, why not?"
I don't suppose there was anything unusual in our conversation that night, it was
simply in the feeling Cass gave. She had chosen me and it was as simple as that. No
pressure. She liked her drinks and had a great number of them. She didn't seem quite of
age but they served he anyhow. Perhaps she had forged i.d., I don't know. Anyhow, each
time she came back from the restroom and sat down next to me, I did feel some pride. She
was not only the most beautiful woman in town but also one of the most beautiful I had
ever seen. I placed my arm about her waist and kissed her once.
"Do you think I'm pretty?" she asked.
"Yes, of course, but there's something else... there's more than your
looks..."
"People are always accusing me of being pretty. Do you really think I'm
pretty?"
"Pretty isn't the word, it hardly does you fair."
Cass reached into her handbag. I thought she was reaching for her handkerchief. She
came out with a long hatpin. Before I could stop her she had run this long hatpin through
her nose, sideways, just above the nostrils. I felt disgust and horror. She looked at me
and laughed, "Now do you think me pretty? What do you think now, man?" I pulled
the hatpin out and held my handkerchief over the bleeding. Several people, including the
bartender, had seen the act. The bartender came down:
"Look," he said to Cass, "you act up again and you're out. We don't need
your dramatics here."
"Oh, *******, man!" she said.
"Better keep her straight," the bartender said to me.
"She'll be all right," I said.
"It's my nose, I can do what I want with my nose."
"No," I said, "it hurts me."
"You mean it hurts you when I stick a pin in my nose?"
"Yes, it does, I mean it."
"All right, I won't do it again. Cheer up."
She kissed me, rather grinning through the kiss and holding the handkerchief to her
nose. We left for my place at closing time. I had some beer and we sat there talking. It
was then that I got the perception of her as a person full of kindness and caring. She
gave herself away without knowing it. At the same time she would leap back into areas of
wildness and incoherence. Schitzi. A beautiful and spiritual schitzi. Perhaps some man,
something, would ruin her forever. I hoped that it wouldn't be me. We went to bed and
after I turned out the lights Cass asked me,
"When do you want it? Now or in the morning?"
"In the morning," I said and turned my back.
In the morning I got up and made a couple of coffees, brought her one in bed. She
laughed.
"You're the first man who has turned it down at night."
"It's o.k.," I said, "we needn't do it at all."
"No, wait, I want to now. Let me freshen up a bit."
Cass went into the bathroom. She came out shortly, looking quite wonderful, her long
black hair glistening, her eyes and lips glistening, her glistening... She displayed her
body calmly, as a good thing. She got under the sheet.
"Come on, lover man."
I got in. She kissed with abandon but without haste. I let my hands run over her body,
through her hair. I mounted. It was hot, and tight. I began to stroke slowly, wanting to
make it last. Her eyes looked directly into mine.
"What's your name?" I asked.
"What the hell difference does it make?" she asked.
I laughed and went on ahead. Afterwards she dressed and I drove her back to the bar but
she was difficult to forget. I wasn't working and I slept until 2 p.m. then got up and
read the paper. I was in the bathtub when she came in with a large leaf- an elephant ear.
"I knew you'd be in the bathtub," she said, "so I brought you something
to cover that thing with, nature boy."
She threw the elephant leaf down on me in the bathtub.
"How did you know I'd be in the tub?"
"I knew."
Almost every day Cass arrived when I was in the tub. The times were different but she
seldom missed, and there was the elephant leaf. And then we'd make love. One or two nights
she phoned and I had to bail her out of jail for drunkenness and fighting.
"These sons of *******," she said, "just because they buy you a few
drinks they think they can get into your pants."
"Once you accept a drink you create your own trouble."
"I thought they were interested in me, not just my body."
"I'm interested in you and your body. I doubt, though, that most men can see
beyond your body."
I left town for 6 months, bummed around, came back. I had never forgotten Cass, but
we'd had some type of argument and I felt like moving anyhow, and when I got back i
figured she'd be gone, but I had been sitting in the West End Bar about 30 minutes when
she walked in and sat down next to me.
"Well, *******, I see you've come back."
I ordered her a drink. Then I looked at her. She had on a high- necked dress. I had
never seen her in one of those. And under each eye, driven in, were 2 pins with glass
heads. All you could see were the heads of the pins, but the pins were driven down into
her face.
"******* you, still trying to destroy your beauty, eh?"
"No, it's the fad, you fool."
"You're crazy."
"I've missed you," she said.
"Is there anybody else?"
"No there isn't anybody else. Just you. But I'm hustling. It costs ten bucks. But
you get it free."
"Pull those pins out."
"No, it's the fad."
"It's making me very unhappy."
"Are you sure?"
"Hell yes, I'm sure."
Cass slowly pulled the pins out and put them back in her purse.
"Why do you haggle your beauty?" I asked. "Why don't you just live with
it?"
"Because people think it's all I have. Beauty is nothing, beauty won't stay. You
don't know how lucky you are to be ugly, because if people like you you know it's for
something else."
"O.k.," I said, "I'm lucky."
"I don't mean you're ugly. People just think you're ugly. You have a fascinating
face."
"Thanks."
We had another drink.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Nothing. I can't get on to anything. No interest."
"Me neither. If you were a woman you could hustle."
"I don't think I could ever make contact with that many strangers, it's
wearing."
"You're right, it's wearing, everything is wearing."
We left together. People still stared at Cass on the streets. She was a beautiful
woman, perhaps more beautiful than ever. We made it to my place and I opened a bottle of
wine and we talked. With Cass and I, it always came easy. She talked a while and I would
listen and then i would talk. Our conversation simply went along without strain. We seemed
to discover secrets together. When we discovered a good one Cass would laugh that laugh-
only the way she could. It was like joy out of fire. Through the talking we kissed and
moved closer together. We became quite heated and decided to go to bed. It was then that
Cass took off her high -necked dress and I saw it- the ugly jagged scar across her throat.
It was large and thick.
"******* you, woman," I said from the bed, "******* you, what have you
done?
"I tried it with a broken bottle one night. Don't you like me any more? Am I still
beautiful?"
I pulled her down on the bed and kissed her. She pushed away and laughed, "Some
men pay me ten and I undress and they don't want to do it. I keep the ten. It's very
funny."
"Yes," I said, "I can't stop laughing... Cass, *****, I love you...stop
destroying yourself; you're the most alive woman I've ever met."
We kissed again. Cass was crying without sound. I could feel the tears. The long black
hair lay beside me like a flag of death. We enjoined and made slow and somber and
wonderful love. In the morning Cass was up making breakfast. She seemed quite calm and
happy. She was singing. I stayed in bed and enjoyed her happiness. Finally she came over
and shook me,
"Up, *******! Throw some cold water on your face and pecker and come enjoy the
feast!"
I drove her to the beach that day. It was a weekday and not yet summer so things were
splendidly deserted. Beach bums in rags slept on the lawns above the sand. Others sat on
stone benches sharing a lone bottle. The gulls whirled about, mindless yet distracted. Old
ladies in their 70's and 80's sat on the benches and discussed selling real estate left
behind by husbands long ago killed by the pace and stupidity of survival. For it all,
there was peace in the air and we walked about and stretched on the lawns and didn't say
much. It simply felt good being together. I bought a couple of sandwiches, some chips and
drinks and we sat on the sand eating. Then I held Cass and we slept together about an
hour. It was somehow better than *******. There was flowing together without tension.
When we awakened we drove back to my place and I cooked a dinner. After dinner I suggested
to Cass that we shack together. She waited a long time, looking at me, then she slowly
said, "No." I drove her back to the bar, bought her a drink and walked out. I
found a job as a parker in a factory the next day and the rest of the week went to
working. I was too tired to get about much but that Friday night I did get to the West End
Bar. I sat and waited for Cass. Hours went by . After I was fairly drunk the bartender
said to me, "I'm sorry about your girlfriend."
"What is it?" I asked.
"I'm sorry, didn't you know?"
"No."
"Suicide. She was buried yesterday."
"Buried?" I asked. It seemed as though she would walk through the doorway at
any moment. How could she be gone?
"Her sisters buried her."
"A suicide? Mind telling me how?"
"She cut her throat."
"I see. Give me another drink."
I drank until closing time. Cass was the most beautiful of 5 sisters, the most
beautiful in town. I managed to drive to my place and I kept thinking, I should have
insisted she stay with me instead of accepting that "no." Everything about her
had indicated that she had cared. I simply had been too offhand about it, lazy, too
unconcerned. I deserved my death and hers. I was a dog. No, why blame the dogs? I got up
and found a bottle of wine and drank from it heavily. Cass the most beautiful girl in town
was dead at 20. Outside somebody honked their automobile horn. They were very loud and
persistent. I sat the bottle down and screamed out: "******* YOU, YOU *******
,SHUT UP!" The night kept coming and there was nothing I could do.
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