Unsure how to respond,
Unsure what to say.
Try putting my mind into words.
See if you are pulled up and down,
Twisted left and right every night;
See if you still sound
Like a perfect movie then.
Will you still be sure?

snapshot memories
lay scattered in silence.
An abundance of unclean
and hazy lives interconnect
before me, dodging and weaving
in disarray
some overlap
and others steer far apart,
but all are destined to be something.
And far apart from these, my life;
a torn edged, blurry photograph
lies in the middle,
moon light burns its edges
and sunlight fades its image
wind and rain thin its paper
but still it remains;
with possibilities beyond
what i or anyone else can imagine,
and so i sit from afar
gazing at this wonderland..
this ancient ritual of connections
that we call life,
teary eyed at its condition
and in this
try to find comfort in my
constant confusions.

Am I among those they write
deep in the threads of contempt?
For no one truly can be
a hero to all.

We all imagine the songs
powerful and triumphant
will someday be our own.

But what is desire?
What is the facade we wear
day in and day out
to power the most illusive masquerade?

What if the turn from my childhood
was never a turn at all?
Is it so strange, is it too far
of a line to draw
that I may be the villain?

Perhaps we're all simply searching
in desire for an adversary.
The call to arise, the call to spur us forth
from the pit too many have found as solace.

Now what if I am
not even a pawn
and barely a sheep
in life's great puzzle,
or is it a mystery
never to be solved?

I long for the moment
I'm desperate for change
I've bit the blind eye
And now I wish my own would remain shut.

So who or what is to say
that I won't snap like the thinning rope
caught in a chokehold?
My dear is the victim
and the fall is too far
to survive.

Where shall I be when
my final spin has spun?
Will I drag to a halt or
careen face-forward?
A gradual decay
or a shot to crack the wall,
either way I may merely be
the villain.

Feeling brave.
Feeling scared.
Do I, Don't I.
Am I prepared.

Does He, Does She.
Will I ever know.
What will happen.
Which way should I go.

Swaying between thoughts.
Feeling all at sea.
Whatever road I take,
it must lead to me.

No one listens to me.
When I say someone bothers me, don't take it lightly!
By 'Bother me',
I mean they disrupt my entire being.
They make me want to peel my skin off; to let my anger take over.
I feel like I'll explode!

It makes me so unsure of who I am,
almost to where I can't control myself.

I kept on changing my mind
Maybe I need to think it over and over again
If this is wrong or right
Is this love or not
But if I tell you things, I'll never say enough
Will I end up with you, and If I end up with you
Will it be enough?
Is this exactly what I want?
Those it leads me somewhere or nowhere?  
Would it be worth it or a waste of time?
Tell me.

I'm an indecisive man at the best of times.
I relish the moments I have true direction.
But I just can't seem to consolidate my feelings.
To bind them up and rope my way out of this one.

Every thought I have accompanies an opposing feeling.
Every choice I decide on leaves me with an unsure taste in my mouth.
How do I have confidence that fills the room and bubbles over.
But no confidence in where I'm headed.

I only wish you could reserve judgment and not be so harsh.
When I imagine my future life I don't see you in it...
Because I don't see anything but a blur.
Everything - All I am is unsure.

I'm taking my life. to the pawnshop on a dusty summer-fall morning
     Because at this point I'm not sure what to use it for anymore
               And they'll give me cash for trash
   Like a mountain of crushed cans in exchange for a dream money can buy in a clear plastic baggie