i have an innocent disposition
pacific ocean blue eyes
eye bags so purple they look like bruises
two hands that write and move
sometimes in ways i despise
unruly instances
i have thoughts beyond your imagination
purposes beyond your comprehension
values, morals, and attitudes you will never understand
i have two fists, red with repressed anger
legs strong and stable
to contrast the ground beneath my feet

i have to rid you out of my bones
your feral smirk and your vehement denial
i just wanna live in a state of safe haven
without my black heart or your carnivorous confrontations in the way

the adamant repulsion i feel
stapled to my chest like i own the compulsions that generate from me
scream into the microphone
my boiling blood the driving force in my disgust
these restraints like sandbags tied to my neck
choking me into a state of agony

i want to shower
rinse this uncomfortable filth that gathers on me

you should feel guilty

My own skin feels ill-fitting.
Like maybe it belonged to me
at some point in time,
But now it sloughs off my shoulders
Like a hand-me-down
given too early…

i don't recognise the "girl" in the mirror anymore,
is she still there??
maybe crushed inside
the stars still burn bright just too deep for anyone to see them, or for her to see them
if i'm so uncomfortable in this body why am i still in it
i don't want to play the part anymore
i'm lost, i need to find me
however, there's something comforting about no-one seeing you, but when you leave it too long you can't see you either

parts of you can reappear,
like when you buy a new shirt,
it fits unlike the ones that cling,
you can hide in this one
but it's made for someone else
someone they don't expect you to be
and someone no-one wants you to be
but who do i want me to be
i want to be able to look in the mirror and like what i see, or even just accept it and feel safe within that body that isn't just a skin like this

Cumbersome, I am
Under some profound stress, and
I'm clueless at best

The curls are cut and gone
The past falls away
Swept up with a broom

Pent up in my room
Slowly changing
Long hair
And short sleeves
To sweatshirts
Rearranging

A beanie to cover up
The dread I feel
Looking in the mirror
I hope to see change
But I don't know what of

This is my dysphoria

i saw that shift in your gaze
when you remembered
the last time
you became something
Wild, Hungry

whats in my mind, asked
with that eager
and far away look
in muddy water eyes
I sympathize, compromise

it's happened again
while the city lights
rippled the water
with their speed
you put your hands on me

and I doth not protest
when you say
i was the one that got away
so why am I back
so why am I afraid

to turn away or
say this ain't ok with me
why must I empathize
without boundaries
or fear an abrupt ending

to this uncomfortable moment

My boyfriend is wanting more than I can handle.
He thinks that I am wanting to marry him and I really do not want to.
I feel uncomfortable about this relationship.
I have got threats if I broke up with him.
They threaten to kick my *** And beat the crap out of me.
What do I do?
I don't feel comfortable with him in my space.
He constantly keeps grabbing my **** and slapping my **** and touching me everywhere and I don't like it.
I tell him to stop and then he does it again.
I can't handle it. what do I do?