All the songs always told me
When you know, you'll know
And I know
I know that I've Done this before
But I also know that it's never
Felt
This
Right
So come on little heart of mine
Let's give this
One
More
Try
Come on you beaten golden thing
Give it one more try.

Waning moon rises
from it's long silvery dip
setting night ablaze

How painful is it to be a poet,
Who can't write.

A poet who has thoughts,
Terrible ones,
But can't express.

A poet with emotions.
But was never heartbroken.

A poet of a few words,
And even those are not the fascinating ones.

A poet who wants to, but can't rhyme.
A poet who wants to but cannot write.

{Like a Doctor Who Can't operate
But a doctor can also be a poet from the heart.}

A poet not so poetic.

A poet like me.

They tell me don't try too hard.
It all comes from within.
But how and when?
Because I am desperately waiting for the time to come,
When those words will flow out of the nib of my pen onto the paper/blank.
As smooth as a river going into the ocean.
Like a fine aged wine from the bottle.
Because it is too heavy,
To keep it all inside,
Troubling my mind and soul,
Like a thousand years old ghoul.
But it is all Stuck up,
jamming all my words.

HE never gave me those beautiful words.

I read, I read and I read a lot.
Hoping It would be able to turn into something like it. (into those words)

Like a poem.
A flawless poem which leaves you gasping for breath.

I want to become a poem.
I want to become a story,
Which makes you cry, itch and then leaves with an ache for more.

I wish I could use those brand pompous words.
The mesmerizing vocabulary,
Impeccable rhyme,
The exceptional emotion,
preposterous thoughts.

I don't complain.
I just want to be.
Why is it never enough just to be?

And if you have to choose between,
Being you or a poem:
What kind of poem would you be?

All these magnificent poets
And yet there I am.

Did I mention?
Poet of a few words.

Alas! Again
Words, Words,  Words,
I wish I had a way with them.

The feeling,
The emptiness,
The feeling of emptiness.
My heart aches for some feelings.
It is so sick of the void.

I hurt the people I love,
to get a reaction from them.
Anger, hatred or pain,
So that I can get some of those too.

Sitting below the fiery a hot shower,
to feel the buns on my soft skin,
To get the warmth from the water and steam,
Which I don't get from the people anymore.

Walking on the street,
In tees, jeans and flip flops, when
It's snowing outside,
To feel the cold and chills through my bones.
To feel the sadness in the surrounding,
to feel something.
To know I am NOT dead.

Drinking my Guts down.
Telling people I love them.
Can't do that with my normal persona,
Missing people publicly.
Cry for them,
But then why I don't feel blissful,
even with them around.

Running behind my dreams, where I feel.
I feel it all -
Pain, smile, sorrow, and joy.
Not the blank.
Not to be the emotionless stone, I have become.

Sitting in my room alone,
Hoping to go out and meet some people,
Like or not like me.
In a party - with the glass in my hand.
Glass full up to the brim,
Trying to keep up with the fake grin.
In my mind, already killing myself and these people,
Millions of times.

Exploding and pacifying myself the millionth time,
In the past 2 hours
Is this normal?
To wish for death, when
life is perfect, everything is good.

You wanted to be here.
Now that you are,
Where are you planning to run away next?
Convincing myself,
No, that other place will be better.
You will be happier.
When you know you won't be,
Any more on this earth.
It's all the same.
It's not the same anymore.

Darling you have been blessed with melancholy.
It's a part of you.
How could you ever run away,
from something which is inside you.
Not in your body but in your soul.

You can try, always try.
Till the time you are tired of trying.
And then you cry and cry and cry some more, you can accept it, cry Cry it out, my love.
And now?
Now embrace it.
Like you would embrace-
The gift of Beauty, you always wanted.
When you always knew that-
Beauty comes with a price.

Now that you have embraced it.
You know it's you.
You don't try to pretend anymore.
No more fake laughs, pretentious smiles.

I am sad,
But I am content with my sadness.
The void, I was always trying to get rid of.
It was filled with sadness.
No, it doesn't ache for anything anymore.

I can be calm with:
The fiery exploding thoughts.
I am peaceful with the war in my mind.

Your single because
Every time you say you like me
Than turn around to someone else
When I'm not around

It’s not always a relationship that makes you feel empty and sad sometimes it’s life that hits you hard and makes you realize that YOU ARE NOT DOING ENOUGH // not enough to make your small circle happy // not enough to pack a bag and roam freely // not enough to order a stacker // not enough to make ppl affiliated to you happy // not enough to smile from heart // not enough to waking up to a thought that everything is fine // not enough to make your heart feel that you did good // not enough to be able to fix everything // I feel I’m losing this all slowly // the way you talk, the gap between your words kills me every time just hold on please I promise I will fix this, I have to fix this to make every thing enough and make you happy for real ♥️ I’m trying to be strong and it’s hurting me more but I’ll be standing strong next to you and make you happy I promise.

Words swirling in mind
Smoke whirling in the air
Sitting alone I stare
Wishing I could disappear
Never able to find the time
Simply writing without a rhyme
Ill give you the world but only can afford a dime
Desperately trying to unwind
Words swirling in my mind
Without you, at best I'll be "fine"

Universally
noticing
shocking
apprehension
from
everyone