I dreamed today, before doing my devotion.
I was fighting with other people that turns out to be monsters, I was with my friend. Half way through the path where we were running, my friend was suddenly stuck in the middle of the way. Monsters surrounded her and she was helpless, for some reason I manage to get through as if the monsters are not anymore interested in me. Their skin touches mine but I don't feel strangled at all, a little suffocated, yes! but still I couldn't explain why I was closer to the exit.

I could never go and leave my friend behind, so I came back. I saw here in the darkness with a spotlight pointed at her, she was covering her ears and her head was tilted down just like a kid afraid of the dark. Held her arm while running, we runned as fast as we can. Do you know how we manage to get out? I just started shouting prayers and calling His name! I was even surprised when I woke up I felt safe because we manage to escape because of Him, surprised because I did not curse on those monster but just called His name.

The last thing I remember in my dream, was a kid. We were trying to escape and suddenly help came, humans, there was some guys and few people who came to tell us that there's a ride waiting for us. And suddenly, the real reason why we are running was because of a lady who I feel like I know but haven't seen clearly...the kid was her child. The child was a boy but he was beautiful and his eyes are as if speaking to me, my friend called me and shouted "Let's go! We can escape now!" But before I did run, I kneeled in front of the kid and continuously hug him after every message I say. I remember the kid crying and kept silent, but his eyes are telling me not to go. I felt like we are related and that I love her mom and she felt like a sister or friend to me. I can feel her watching us from afar but she's not chasing me anymore.

This is what I told the kid.
"Tell your mom we love her, but we have to go now!",
"Please grow up as a good man!" and while sobbing I said,
"You have a good heart, you're a good man, because you have a good God! stay that way!".

I don't know but it might be confusing to other people, but I think I was saying the a good person or a man is good because He has God in his/her life.

I ended up nothing getting into the ride, I woke up. But I felt comfort because I know I can be better and be a good person if I allow myself to be used by Him. And then I did my devotion, the title was "enjoying beauty", the content was "God's perfect time".

I wanted to share more!

Take Care

Trust is earned
And
Heart is won.

But take care.
You may fall from heart
And lose it

If you do something
That shouldn't be done.

S. Bharat

You often go unnoticed,
Your kindness and laughter
knows no limits,
maybe, life made u refrain
from emotional binds,
while trying to heal the wounds,
past left behind...

But There's a hope waiting for u in the dark,
you shine brightly,
With your beautiful scars...

Once, believe in me,
let me be ur partner in sorrows and glee...
Will u trust me?
life always unfolds unexpectedly
so, just once, let's set aside insecurity,
and leave the rest upto destiny...

Don't push away,
Don't rush out,
let me in,
we'll find a way out...
No fake promises, no hidden secrets,
Just us, being ourselves..
Take a step forward,
Look how everything seems beautiful...

The lush green grass beneath,
tender and fresh,
The mild wind,
bearing the spring flower scent,
Leaves swaying in harmony,
Boughs crescent,
A perfect scenery,
Just like a dream,
the whole scene enlightened,
as diamonds from the sky descend...

Your gaze,
going deeper than the eyes can find,
Fingers interlaced,
Both lost in another state of mind,
as the surrounding voices subside..

No doubts, no fears,
Tonight, let's chase our dreams together...
'Coz there's a hope waiting for u in the dark,
Know that you're just perfect
With your beautiful scars...

And u won't need to change anything,
the world could right it's wrongs,
'Coz together,we're beautiful,
Just like the night sky
filled with sparkling stars...

What if I told you to stay away?
What if I hurt you?
What would you say?
Truth is I feel frozen inside
Like something essential wilted and died
It's funny because all the love I should be giving you
Is being wasted on the person who broke me in two
Only body and time is what you receive
When heart's been shattered can't wear it on your sleeve
Now when love tries to wiggle underneath my skin
I block it before it has the chance to begin
Or else I will surely pay the price like before
But I am bankrupt
I can't take anymore
My goodness has been stolen by someone else and for that I apologize
Trust issues run all the way to the bone
Though you have told no lies
I thought maybe meeting someone new would somehow relight the missing spark
You do everything right yet for reasons unknown my soul remains hollow and dark
I end most blessings bestowed on my life because I don't deserve relief
Caused problems myself so why should anyone else save me from my grief
Afraid to hear I am needed because I won't live up to expectations
Held captive in chains by ever present limitations
Work hard to accept myself with each one of my flaws
But self-hatred is a toothy beast that bites my self-esteem and gnaws
I used to believe I was beautiful when offered up the compliment
Can't help but wonder where that easy confidence went
I am incapable of self love because I am too broken
Inside the strength it requires will never be awoken
Much less courage it would take to love someone besides myself
I don't bother even reaching because it's stored on too high of a shelf
Sorry but the key to my heart is a treasure you will not find
The best I can do it to let you have a peek within my mind
I could tell you what you want to hear but I would rather simply be real
Let you know from the start I don't have any emotion left to feel
I never really got used to the sensation of being alone
Independence not a familiar quality because I **** when I'm on my own
I wish my favorite moments were memories made with you
Instead of with a person who no longer feels the same way too
It hits when I rise in the morning the hardest and realize again that he is not there
It's not that you are not enough for me
Nobody could ever compare
Was just never able to see clearly though I can tell right from wrong
If he is the devil then in hell I must belong
It hurts to watch you try your best knowing I can't share it back in return
Your admiration is a privilege given though I have done nothing to earn
And dream for a night of a universe free from past regret
There are times I would forfeit all my possessions just to temporarily forget
And break you is the last thing I want to do
But this can only end with one of us black and blue
The aching is inevitable
It's only a matter of time
Force of impact directly proportionate to the distance that we climb
I mean it when I say that I like you very much
Enjoying every second our skin gets to touch
There isn't much sensitivity left here in me
I've shut down my nervous system in order to be free
When all my needs have been neglected and ignored for far too long
Forgot what respect looks like
You treat me right and it seems wrong
Since birth dysfunction is the only home I've ever had
Different ******* up situations
But it never seemed that bad
So now that I am finally faced with something new
I doubt it assuming it has to be too good to be true
Sometimes I don't know what is wrong with me
Can't control which direction I feel
Like I am not the one behind the seat with hands on the steering wheel
I want more than anything to fall in love and see my eyes sparkle once more
But my heart is held hostage against my will by the guy I was with before
Maybe it's hard to let down my guard because I don't want it to end the same way
I am wise enough to know by now that  everyone eventually leaves one day
Whether it is by their choice or intervention from fate
Every happily ever after has an expiration date
Combine that with pre-existing insecurities and a truckload full of baggage
And you get an emotionally depleted wreck
Unable to recover from sustained damage
Been months now and wounds haven't yet began to close
I worry they never will
That the hole he left inside of me is a crater no one can fill
Is this emptiness all I'm destined for?
A ghost haunting memories?
Each minute suspended in solitude passes like centuries
Knowing I can't reciprocate everything you willingly provide
Is subconsciously tearing me to bits inside
I won't make you any promises I am unable to keep
Maybe we should call it quits before we get in too deep

If I had died to save you, would you care?
If I wanted the last drop of your love, would you share?
Had I offered a day in my shoe, would you wear?
Let's say I returned the pain you gave, could your bare?

Have you ever cried so hard and not shed a tear?
Shivering in the warmth of my sheets because you're not here.
Suffocating together but would rather die with you near,
Now we no longer talk and it grinds my gear,
Because you PROMISED that no matter what, you'd always be there.

Isn't it tragic how the life we dreamt about isn't there,
No goosebumps, no blushing, not even a dull spark in the air.
Our love seems shattered, stained and beyond repair,
Didn't see it coming, I loved blindly, unaware.

I gave my soul for you in hope that my heart, you'd spare,
Now you got me kneeling, religiously running to GOD in prayer.
Praying that, some day soon, this pain just disappears
So that I can be happy, at peace and love again, without fear.

I don't know if I've seen a lot
But seems that I've seen enough,
It's hard to find good people
As hard it is to find good love.

Maybe the world's crashing,
Hence everyone seems cruel
The world is ending,
And everyone's fighting their own duel.

It's hard to trust people,
But much harder is to trust yourself
Maybe there is a way out of this,
Where I don't end up by myself.

I've been carrying this load,
On what was once my light shoulders,
They just seem rugged now,
That the world has turned colder.

Once a virtue of kindness
Spread like a wildfire in my heart,
Tried to be kind once,
But the world tore me apart.

What did I learn so far?
In life, there are no two ways,
There is only one
Would you believe in God if I asked you to pray?

Pray for your soul,
Pray for your temptations,
Pray for all those souls
That desperately seek salvation.