I often worry about you.
When you’re out of my sight, at a party or other
I wonder if all is right; what if this coming summer
That you await so much, is your last too?

You never know what encounters you might make.
Someone may harm you, take advantage of you, or…
But that’s love; apprehension, forevermore.
I’m sorry for being so protective. It’s for your sake.

But I shouldn’t be. I know your strengths.

I wonder what you think about when you lay down next to me... When I sleep, do you sleep, or internally question me?

How quick do you jump when Im up and you see the phone was right next to me? You scroll and search, hope to find dirt, and continue second guessing me...

Sweatin me, when you taking certain things out of context, stressin me, when I tell you how Im tryna be honest, selling me, tellin me how you respecting my process, only to continue to do the same thing again and again like you obsessed...

Its not a sport, nor is it fun, when it feels like there's a gun, behind my back and at my head, wishing what we had was dead...

But you still not using words to talk to me or ask me first, to let me know what thoughts still linger, what doubts you have or your distrust...
You tell me all is fine; that you have nothing to say, then we go to bed at the end of the day

But still, I wonder what you think about when you lay down next to me...

@desire.is.dope
20190428
1249HRS

I felt his hands touching my *******, my thighs
I fought but it changed nothing,
Because I was only 5

He told me that I should like it
Though I begged him to stop
It was more terrifying than I could ever admit

But he pulled me down
When I tried to run
And I felt like I was going to drown

He, who I had trusted
Desecrated my most private places
But he also forced his way into my head

It was only his hands
But to me
It was something I would never fully understand

His brother saw me
And ignored my pleas
As He violated my purity

I finally ran
From Him, my cousin
And the memory of his touch,
His hands.