I swallow hard
I can see it move down my throat
The slender curve of my neck scarred
The memory fights to stay afloat
It claws it's way back up and in.
It's scent tearing at my skin.
For a moment I hate her.
The girl standing before me,
I hate her for giving up,
I hate her for giving in
I hate her for not being stronger
For letting her weakness win.
But I can't keep breaking mirrors,
and hating reflections.  
No good can come from hating what others have done.
She fought, she screamed, and cried.
I f**king tried.
I can't be a slave to yesterday and my thickening pride.
I followed a dream over the horizon.
Swam in the dark side of the moon.
Felt pleasure, love, and freedom on the other side of that dune.
But I only hold the reins to myself
I cannot control them, or him.
It's just me, overflowing, and full to the brim.
Then she stands tall, her slender neck strong, a deep breath drawn.
And strength brings color back to her cheeks.
The hatred, and memories gone, placed firmly in the past.
And I recognize myself again at last.

he calls me love when he's mad

his sweetheart when he's sad

he calls me a wilting flower in the sun

a fragile broken piece of glass when we're done.


He brings me blossoms in the spring

in the fall, always nothing

in the winter he leaves my toes cold

but my heart is always a bit too bold

and in the morning it reaches out

and is left to wander home a different route.

I lay in bed, lost at night

not knowing if his love for me is right

for when the morning comes and all is light

I never miss him, or his plight.

I know its not as easy as I imagine it
I know it takes so much time
I know sometimes it can make your heartbeat stops
I know sometimes it can make you hard to breathe
I know you can't take it anymore
I know you want to get over it but you can't
I know you always find ways
I know you tired
but hey, I know you've tried

/f.r/

then here we are...
trying again - after a fall
   everyone expects you relate to a meme
so you did... but you will not pursue it!

then here we are...
you tried, again and again
  only difference is you encounter unlike faces with same heart

charmed, captured and you are ready to be taken away

then here we are...
another day, where you left crumbs of you
feels like the pigeons following you around town
where all you wanted is a dove --

clock timid down, energy drained
then here we are...

this time completely different
rarity of defined good -- though you doubt
cause your passion completely ****** up out of you

where's the fate... sanity that you thought you still have

then here we are...
you just let it be, this is good
this is good ----
you calm yourself

smoke more cigarettes, you wish the smoke will take away memories...
then here we are...