I keep trying to run,
but there is nowhere to hide
from all of my problems
that I keep inside.
Honestly, I think
we're all just waiting to die.
We try to seize the moment,
but then its "good bye",
and forced to face reality,
you see an ugly side.
There is no one that knows me,
that can say I hadn't tried;
everyone's watched me grow,
and seen me as I died.
There's still nothing I want to say
after all the tears I've cried,
my words received no water
and to the world they simply dried.
With no direction,
I only stumble with no guide,
a wimpering soul,
just trying to get by.
My mind my biggest bully,
a truth I should confide...
as it rips on me each day,
I wish to run and hide.
I can't stand to seize the moment;
I must go out with the tide
even though I ran away
they can't say I hadn't tried.

I've disected the world a thousand times
I've choked this world in a thousand rhymes
I've tried to wipe this world away
But it seems to wish to stay

Ugly- The definition of a girl, is given by the guys who broke her heart and the girls she used to look up to.

Useless- The feeling of never being good enough because you cant even make your parents happy. Not worth anyones time.

Stupid- Not getting perfect grades at a honor school and being made fun of by those who you thought loved you.

Depressed- The feeling you get when no one understands that your crying on your knees everynight asking god to help you to make you feel like you are worth something then being kicked while your crying by your best friend. Giving up on everyone and everything.

Scared- That gut feeling you always have because everyone you love always leaves so what makes Dylan any different? When I am the same girl I was when everyone else left?

Unwanted- The feeling an adopted kid like myself, when not even her brother wants to be a part of her life. When your parents didn't want you only 2 weeks after birth..?

So someone, ANYONE, tell me why I should continue on with my life acting like everything is perfect and okay when honestly IT IS NOT OKAY!!! NOTHING IS OKAY! I am sorry that I was never perfect and never good.. I tried.. I really did and maybe one day y’all might, just might realize that I was breaking, slowly breaking, painfully trying to make everyone happy when I was the one suffering most.. I just wish I would've noticed this when I was younger and didn't waste so much of my life trying to figure out where I went wrong when that was never the issue. The issue was that I couldn't accept that I couldn't be perfect, I never would be, and that I cant change something I have no control over.. Maybe if I realized that earlier my life would've been just a bit happier, maybe not.. But my mom once told me that everything happens for a reason and she was right…

It was a dark haze,
That hung low,
My mind consumed in a maze,
With no exit to go,
The nights became long,
Crying every night,
They told me to stay strong,
and I started to write,
things will get better eventually,
days will get brighter,
Your heart will sing its own melody,
Because just like me; you're also a fighter

All that matters is that im trying?
As long as im giving effort?
As long as it's on my mind?!
Trying is pointless!
If you never achieve anything
You will allways be stuck trying.

I tried to speak up
I tried to tell you
I tried to hold your hand
I tried to hug you
I tried to make you happy
I tried to say i love you
I tried to write a poem
I tried to kiss you
I tried to try harder.....
I tried....
And the worst is that you will never know how much iv tried
Because trying is all iv ever done.

A good metaphor for life is a man trying to eat soup out of a spaghetti strainer
He goes super fast
Cause hes trying to get the good stuff
But no matter how much he gets
He just ends up with a bunch of soup off over his pants
And then he dies of old age eventually

I am not good at metaphors.