I can't do it she said.    
Her thoughts controlled  by fear and doubts.  A word of encouragement busted through giving solutions and strength. She overcame.

I sought out just what I've become

Numb to trepidation, apposed to emotions
I choke on sensations, opening to oceans
Of blood soaked remnants I can't fathom
Begin to comprehend, or otherwise justify
To myself

And It's square on my shoulders

If I like it or not

Sating my lust for life, finding out how
To revel in spite, in spite of myself, honestly
Grating, the thoughts that haunt me through
Sleepless hours and all the mindless rambling I do
To myself

I wanted to change, and I did

I did change

Bought at the current rate
Life condensed to a price
I wanted everyone to pay
Besides me. Never me

I thought it free, until someone came around with
The promise that they'd take it all away

Breaking ground, like the words I said
What I say in my day to day
Breaking ground, foray into something
I'd call a grave mistake

Try to justify it, screaming at the sky
Trying hard to hide what I swear I left behind
Blame it on society. A scapegoat that never falters
Hurdles that I prayed would change, and yet
They never falter
So, I blame it on you, and then you blame it on me

I blame it on myself

...

I blame myself.

What it always comes down to

And I turned into what I had always planned to turn into
Go figure.

I'm ready to surrender
and let you captain the boat.
I'm tired of all the struggles
and barely staying afloat.

I've learned through all my trials
that you know what is best.
I give you all my worries
and now I'll finally rest.

Here it is; just take it.
My whole life is now yours.
I've battled for so long now
and I know you have the cure.

My every breath belongs to you
and I give you every stride.
There's only one thing that I ask:
that you will be my guide.

The wind blows slowly as we face new trials,
slowly it wanders into our minds,
sometimes it goes beyond our hearts,
moments that are realized to be harsh words kept inside.

Purify

Lord won’t you purify my heart and soul
Wash me clean transform this lump of coal
By the holy waters and the blood of the Lamb
In this flood I see at last who I really am
I am wonderful I am beautiful I am forever yours
I am precious I am loved by death my life restores
You have put me in a crucible a trial by fire
To purify and strengthen me to lift me ever higher
Right now all I feel is hurt and pain
But with your help my faith will yet remain
I know you’ll see me through this time and place
And on tougher days I gaze upon your face
I find the strength to get up and keep going
One day I’ll look back and see that I was growing
Refine me Lord and renew my beating heart
I know that you are creating a work of art
I am under construction and my Lord is far from done
He is building me in the sight of every one
Purify me Lord that I may be as holy as I ought
Redirect me when I forget the lessons I was taught
You are holy perfect blameless and true
Hear our prayer and make us more like you
In this mess Lord you see only beauty
Like a butterfly one day we will break free
Piece together my broken heart mend my broken wings
Cleanse me from within of sin and other things

Bowing low before your cross
I feel the hope I know the loss
Broken you healed a broken land
Kneeling you showed us how to stand
Cursed you broke the curse of sin and death
You gave your life to give us life with your last breath
You opened your arms to open our eyes
You were truth so we could spot true lies
You were the way when we had lost our way
You spoke life and taught us how to pray
Glory to God the Father and the Son
And the Spirit three in one

Amen

(Cry of Grievance: life's overwhelming problems.)

Except for God's mercy,
My troubles would have long
Destroyed me.

Multiplied like the stars,
They are as deceitful as
The ways of a brook.
An innocent prey, stalked game;
I am the target of their poignant aim.

Like water, my troubles flow;
They are as unwelcome as a foe.

But God shall plague them.
He shall bind them with a strong cord
And crush them 'neath his mighty foot.
And they shall cease.

Lord, by your sovereign power,
Rebuke them into oblivion
That they all cease.

**NOTE: This psalm does not refer to any person. Herein, I am simply speaking of the daily grind in my life, which seemed to have been multiplied one-hundred fold.

(A Psalm of Grievance: the cry for relief.)

My trials are many and heavy,
Seemingly never to end.

Will the tempest toss
And breakers rage forevermore,
As one by one the waves come
Crashing o'er the shore?

The tide-swell is ominous,
The howling winds blow.
And lurking beneath the surface
Is a subtle undertow.

But God’s voice, all-powerful,
Creates a calm in me
As his Spirit 'pon the waters
Stills the raging sea.