Asian liposuction feeling the fingers of my mind piling the ripped up chipped up crap from the side of the face to the plate put out in front of my lips to kiss the endless stream of a violent dream and all of the seams are ripped and I’m dark inside.

No where to be hyde or swallow my pride I have nothing left but my bare naked self in the cold of my unfettered failure.

Killing me softly with all the softcore underscore. Oh what a bore.
Such a slap in the face is the endless disgrace that peels though the soul like a razor maypole.

Grand is the shame that once was a game and ends with the fact that I’m deaf and dumb.
I’ve up and confessed.
So it’s over... but still missing
The body, the eyes, the flesh and the thighs, the hair and the lips unyielding.
The mind and the soul. The joy of the whole, and the love I could give so selflessly.

Twas numbing like a needle, or bottle.
Distracting from a cold, cruel, crack in the wall.
Yet up on the wings of an eagles
I’ll resist the pull of the fall.

i can't write when i'm sick lonely lost and lovely thinking of you
fading into my sheets for the whole day and the sun was too bright on my face
and i'll eat donuts until the flu decides to say goodbye, farewell
and i'll choke up powdered sugar dancing on the stairwell
singing songs about loving you
i don't think i needed to say it
i think you already knew
a portrait of your mother behind my swollen eyes
does she know we spent the night living between each others thighs
we walk with bottles between our fingers
dipping our toes in cold water
the bridge lights up, the reflection is its daughter

I sat down today and thought of a face—
with kind curves and welcoming eyes,
with a smile that could illuminate a space,
and warm the chilled voids betwixt thighs.

So I snatched up a pen and scribbled like mad,
an articulate letter on said visage so divine—
pages upon pages of marvelous musings—
hunger dripping off of each line.

Then my hands finished working, my fingers at rest,
observing my mess of inked letters and blots.
One simple message derived from it all:

**“You’re in my inappropriate thoughts.”

My eyes are black,
My heart is cold,
self-hatred is radiating from within my soul,
the mirror reflects what i don't want to see
i hate every single aspect about me
from my abnormal eyes
to my ugly, fat thighs
see, i hate myself too
probably even more than you.

you're like lavender hills
and tropical skies
the words between my lips
and the warmth between my thighs