you think attention is love,
that's why you suffer so deeply.

I did not know this was possible: to be in 2 places at the same time. I am here, still here but my heart is elsewhere. I am here, staying here but my heart's packed up and left a long time ago. My body sleeps with him at night but I look the other way. I have looked the other way and lied to myself for years and years, blinded so foolishly by a love so strong it ruined me. The truth is always the hardest pill to swallow, but I need to face my demons and the secrets I've kept if I want to move on. I am in 2 places at the same time. First, I am where I have to be-- a place that beckons me to stay and be strong and forgive over and over again. Second, I am where I hope to be-- a place of peace and contentement and if I'm lucky, maybe joy. The mind is so strong that it allows one to endure great suffering through unwavering willpower. How do wrongly incarcerated persons survive decades in prison? It is the idea of freedom and faith in justice that keeps them sane and alive. It is the hope that one day, their truth will come out and their liberty served that empowers them. This is how I feel. This is how I'm still alive.

I am an Illustration of GOD!

In the era of Wounded civilization
He fashioned us with an illustration…Triumphs used for defeat was crucified love…. Stop suffering rise up your pain above!!

Stop grappling with emotions seek God for accomplishments…
Life enlightens  through afflictions, wake up from lowered faith go alter your imperfections…


Clinching line is he conquered through it… For you and I near his throne to sit
It isn’t a word game but an ode for love of god….O the sting of death he did trod..

We know very lil of the grand Weaver who has great desire, he is the master my maker!!
If deprived of today or tomorrow take faith seriously in whom you are made wonderfully and fearfully….


In the era of Wounded civilization
He fashioned us with an illustration…Triumphs used for defeat was crucified love…. Stop suffering rise than your pain above!!

What led me to you?
Was it life or was it my stupid heart too?
If only I would have know what has changed
I wish I knew so I could see it on range,
But it was too late, a little too much,
My heart couldn't resist and see it suffer,
Why did my love has to go through this much of trouble?
Why never you sawed me as your true lover?
Why didnt you had the courage to know what was in my favor?
I always cry knowing you did nothing at all,
But why should i expect,
Because you went ahead and become part of this cruel world for all.
But still somewhere, even with all this distance,
I remember you and smile in this timeless existence,
For somewhere I believe that you will find your spirit,
You will find your courage,
You will find your self,
Just dont loose hope,
Even though you may believe its not there,
But without its illusion,
This life, you will not bear.

tormenting thoughts are eating me;
ripping my brain,
cracking my skull,
shredding each into small pieces,
torturing me in every chance it got but still manages to keep me alive

My love, my passion, my hands

    ... my darkness, my past, my tears