I hate words,
they never come out right.
They always feel slurred
or awkwardly uptight.

"Like for a tbh and rate" was your status and I liked it at 10pm and you rated me a 8.5 and said I was funny so I deleted the post because an 8.5 isn't good enough for me because funny 8.5s aren't the kinda girls you date and not being the kind of girl you date KILLED me at 14

Jesus I thought being  called an 8.5 by you was the end of the world because everyone thought I was popular and pretty and I've never gotten less than a 10 for liking those stupid posts and to think that you didn't think I was as pretty as all the other guys did KILLED me at 14

I know it's stupid

and I know I shuld stop

but you are my cupid

while I feel like a prop.


It's been said you like me

but you never seem to show it

it felt like it's meant to be

and believe me I would quit

if I knew how, to be free

I'm tired of you haunting me.
If only you'd let me sleep.
Instead of the noises
and voices that are still unfamiliar...
I wish you'd remind me of his.
I'd rather be drowning in a sea I cannot drown in, that only leads to an endless abyss
than wake up in a panic, reminded of this.

The "Church" of Scientology
Puzzle within enigma
People finding out the TRUTH
Now there is a stigma

There are many mysteries
Riddles within obfuscation
Their own ARC Triangle
Stops communication!

Are you following my track?
Or are you bemused?
Is their "nomenclature"
Making you confused?

Hope you brought your copy
Of DIANETICS here
You TOO can be OT
(or at least a Clear)
I won't try explaining it
Too complex, I fear
I'll talk about their OT III
Watch out, we're shifting gears...

When I was in the Sea Org
They spoke of this OT III
Did not discuss what it was
It was a mystery
It was said if it's revealed
You'd lose your sanity
But now I know! It's been disclosed
It's ALIEN HISTORY!

Here are all the thetans
Happy playing games
Enter alien Lord Xenu
He's bad! He's MEAN! He's LAME!

He gathered all these thetans
And brought them here to EARTH
On a DC3... They were
bound for all they're WORTH!

He stuffed them in VOLCANOES
Their lives to interrupt
When the cauldrons were filled
The stacks would then ERUPT!

This causes spirit problems
Well. I mean, hey, DUH!
I guess its caused some problems!
I guess it would! HEY! HUH!

Folks, if you can laugh at this
Just kick back your head!
This is God's honest TRUTH!
Every word I've SAID!

THIS IS WHAT THEY FEAR!
THAT FOLKS WILL UP AND TALK.
I HOPE EVENTUALLY
EVERYONE WILL WALK

To leave Miscavige ALONE...

TO BE THE LAUGHINGSTOCK!!!


Catherine E Jarvis
SoulSurvivor
(C) 2/24/2017

For an excessively passive person
I'm easily annoyed, easily appalled.
People are so stupid, vapid, mediocre
and you know its true so you try to
be deep and meaningful, dramatic
to justify how absolutely and inevitably
pathetic you are.

Still I have the urge
To take the knife up
And do stupid things
Like I used to before

But no, I don't do it
Instead I drown myself
In loud music and tears
With literally no end

Am I becoming mad?
I don't know anymore
But this seems like
A fine way to suffer