you you you
my mind is clouded of you.

and it’s suffocating me to the
point where i can no longer breathe.

but i just wish you could reciprocate
these crushed emotions that flutter

through my heart and pound on my
ribcage like a wild animal.

just tell me what to do,
confess to me your love,
or leave me here,
i promise this won’t be long.
just find out what to do,
tell me what to do,
what gave you the mobility to get over me,
to overcome the distance that once broke our connection apart?
how did you do it?
tell me, or I’m afraid,
I might have to jump off a building,
Cause’ you’re stuck in my brain again,
Yeah, I’m stuck in my brain again.
havoc and incessant quarrels,
bring tears to eyes and knives through hearts.
despite the mess you made with our love,
I’d go through it again if I were to know we would create the product of our love.
you’re the one i choose,
and most importantly,
the one i can never lose,
you’re stuck in my brain again,
yeah, stuck in my brain, again.
wish i could hear your voice,
it used to soothe me when i’d reminisce,
late at night, used to seek comfort in daydreaming,
in those daydreams, you used to confess to me your love through dry humor and long phone calls,
we would recycle the same thoughts to prolong conversations,
and pivot them, when the time grew too long,
all i get nowadays are the reminders that we were far too young to comprehend the concept of love;
we are no longer in love as we once were,
and you don’t feel the same anymore,
which brings me to face what i have avoided all of these years.
i no longer feel sane anymore,
so I lay wide awake,
To get my soul away,
I look for new ways around the thought of you,
I need a great escape or I might jump off a building.
is it wrong to hope that someday love will return to us?
to the one place in the world where it falls and belongs to us.
i’m afraid that if it doesn't,
time and fate will consume us slowly,
right before you declare to me the loss of us,
have you know that you’re the one i run to mid problems and emotions,
your name drives me crazy when i hear it,
still hard wired to the thoughts that make me run to you,
and your smile, don’t even get me started,
however, i acknowledge the deep sorrow and pain you feel for cutting off the supply chain of tangible thoughts that trace through my head and the oxygen that supports the barely moving body of mine,
in an alternate world,
you’re stuck in my brain, again,
yeah, stuck in my brain again.

Every night I feel the cold breeze

Being alone, in the quiet, with memories replaying..

An energy that almost downs me to my knees.

Days are filled trying to find another way

In which to be able to finish what I had started

Finding the other hidden heart

To complete this unfinished soul.

I work my creative magic…

The emptiness starts to chew at my imagination

Shards of dread, doubt, and question stab my being like swords

A moment quiet and tragic.

When will these wheels that hold me in the place I’m at

Finally break free from the quicksands of limit and invisibility

Enabling the launch of my message, soul, and ventures

To newer heights of lighted up Electric Visual abilities?

Teach me a new rout that this older ship must sail

the path to a brighter future and calmer waters….

Allow the bonds of circumstance to break and allow this captive soul, freedom.

Before the sands of sorrow drown him on weakened knees that shall falter?

All at once
Or nothing at all—
I’m falling—
Blackhole kind of lovely lines
Cutting cross my angled fists
These endless daunting lists I fill to burn.

I can feel myself running away
In handfuls of bread
And mind-numbing multitasking
Trying to create a noise so loud
That it'll drown out the one in my head
The one that tells me I'm broken
The one saying I'm a waste of space
And wasting this life away

I am wasting time
With every bite not led by hunger
Every second half-watching television
While scrolling emptily through my phone
These meaningless moments just remove more meaning
******* it away from myself and my life
Draining my emotional energy because
I'm not letting it recharge
So then I can sleep rather than create
So I can avoid the thoughts and feelings
That are telling me
No, begging me
To do something
To feel something

But it's been a long time

And sometimes feeling nothing

Can feel better than feeling

Lonely

I feel trapped
Confined in this media hellstorm
How easy it is to numb out
To drown out these thoughts
These feelings
These aspects of myself
Under the static of technology
I just want to exist and to
Connect with myself again
And yet I keep tuning in
To tune it all out
I dont even like what im watching
I dont enjoy doing this over and over again
It feels so compulsive
So uncontrollable that
I want to just sell my TV
Return to a dumb phone again
Rid myself of these technological terrors
Because for some reason
I can't just walk away
And I can feel the clocks ticking
As these precious moments are wasting away
And slipping through my fingertips

I think I'm the only one
stuck here like this,
unlike anyone!
It may seem like sometimes
I am the Rock!
& not even Fire can hurt me.
But like everyone
Every night, I look above,
for the spark of miracle
wishing the world to be better.