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I dislike my father
I say this after careful reflection and study of him throughout the years
interactions that are vapid and entirely forced that when he asks, “how are you doing?” feels more like an insult rather than a greeting because it’s me that always does the calling and it’s always been that way, getting short changed because the guy just doesn’t know how to reach out unless he wants something and till this day he still half assess it, so I don’t call or bother any more
Man Jan 2021
all the people i know
have stained my brain
with their misery and their woe,
don't they know?
i have them too
but i would never shovel them on you
it doesn't seem the right thing to do
when i could give you all love
and give woe the shove
i work it out myself
though there's still pain on the shelf
it's below me, not above
i have pain
because all i give is love
Man Nov 2020
mind maggots
nesting in the farthest recess of your brain
a cranium turned cottage
at the hour of your sleep

where toyed emotions play you
leaving to run the hamsters' wheel
where helplessness overpowers you
to see your quickened pulse
in silvery starlight
Em MacKenzie Nov 2020
I walked into that room and saw you’re body lying there,
I barely recognized you; lacking life, muscle and hair.
I looked into your open eyes like I never did before,
and spoke looking at your face instead of averting gaze to floor.
If they asked me to identify or claim, I can’t say that I could,
I never truly knew you or felt the connection that I should.
You were given the curse of cancer,
but gifted the knowledge and time,
but did you ever even think that the answer
could be to reach out your hand to mine?
I had so much I never said,
maybe you had the same.
I’ll remain running the sentences in my head,
but never question if I should feel blame.
For a child to not know a parent is easy as night and day,
as much as I should’ve known you, you should’ve known me the same way.
Now my sister and I are the only ones here,
the only ones with your name and blood,
and it shouldn’t even be a question or fear
if we were ever truly loved.
11/06/1958 - 10/25/2020
Maya Aug 2018
strained is
supposed to be
a word
for pasta
not
relationships.
sorry ive been shutting people out i dont know how to cope today was a bad day and i dont know how to feel
Tallie Apr 2018
I used to be neon pink
Smile wide and radiant
Everything is great, I would think
Then I started to go silent

Here I am, neon I am not
Light bulbs gone dead
I used to talk quite a lot
Now it’s all in my head

Colors been drawn out
Not drawn, strained
Stuck in an eternal drought
I’m afraid it’s unexplained
Andrew Kerklaan Jan 2018
~

Money alone chips away at sanctioned walls

Porous, your deflection is my bane

I loath the chasm this singularity has instilled between us.

~
Mikayla Smith Jul 2017
Mama washes the clothes
And hangs them out to
Dry, she takes me by my
Hand and we dance beneath
The twelve o'clock sky.

Papa goes to out and
Doesn't come home until
Late, we're all snuggled in
Bed by the time Mama asks
Him why he hasn't ate.  

He's missing out on time with
The kids,
Mama tells her sister
One dreary day.

I might just have to work more, she'll say.

Papa feels weak, thinks it's his job
To provide for a family that's
Just starting to fray.

Mama works and we ask
Why she won't come to play.

Papa tells me she's off to
Work, that it'll just be for
A little while.

But, days turn into weeks,
Weeks turn into months,
Months turn into years.
Instead of Mama, Daddy now
Wipes my tears.

They tell him that he's a poor
Excuse of a man
And that Mama is better
Off finding a real one.

Times have changed,
Families grow in different ways.
Sometimes things happen,
But I've learned that
Mama's and Papa's still
Love their children just the same.
A piece reflecting my childhood. My mother and father struggled for years to have children. When they finally did, my mother dreamed of being a stay at home mom to me and my younger brother. However, my father struggled to hold down a job, forcing my mother to work full-time while my dad looked for anyone who would hire. This lasted for years: my father losing job after job, drowning his sorrows in alcohol and my mother growing more and more bitter at my father and at the fact that she was missing out on time with her children. I was too young at the time to realize the circumstances, but now that I'm older, I have a much better perspective on it.
Zero Nine Jun 2017
Anxious, strained, agitated, placid, still, dispassionate
Reference the DSM and of its many pages
Ask ad infinitum, Will you heal schism?
Lines of my shape in shade
seem monstrous when
I've been your part and whole
well before your birth
Not long ago you were
pale, *****-white
I breathed over
your mother's neck
I painted canvas
with color
....
eleanor prince Feb 2017
girl -
your silence tears upon me
a savage beast mute
for in your intermittent groans on gusts of ire
masked in murmurs curt
seepage coarse, acrid leaks

girl -
tell me straight, hide not my fate
your real intent upon these clouds benign
for when the heat of marinated fury bursts
erupts one day on bowed head sad
intent on living life in peace

girl -
will it ruin times of joy we knew
bursts of copper, gold and red
no separation there but alchemy of spirits free
so what is it that ails you friend
arms folded eyes aflame in chilled blind rage
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