I had you first
Heart soul and mind
Grown up, not apart by time
So alike, so unchanged
Through different environments, in a different stage
Now they have you, thoughts and body
Weeding away our time though unsteady
So many wishes, so many prayers to one not there, answered suddenly but incompletely
Now I have you soul mind and body
Your heart is away, on vacation these days

Now I again begin to pray, to beg one not there
May I have you?
Again the way you once were?
All mine finally for once
Uninjured, unbroken
Loved and loving but mostly; loving me?

God please!
You know me better than I know myself!
For years and years of my feelings bottled on a shelf
Resigning myself to a secret love ocassionally crashing from above, to break my heart all over again
I never minded it then...

But to have you and have you ripped away
Every night, every day
I will never be ok
The jar is unscrewed and feeling renewed courses through my chilled veins
To remember your gentle callused hands
To remember your words to me when secrets spilled and my tears would repeat
I would give anything for you to stay
Even a day or two of having you Completely having you, is worth more than lifetimes having the next best thing

No one will truly listen... Everything I want to say or feel out loud will get me locked up in an institution. It's unfair. I can't speak without fear of someone deciding for me that I should be locked up. Don't tell me you know better than me and don't ******* tell me that you know what's best for me. You aren't in charge, you don't get to decide. If that means I have to be suicidal in secret then so ******* be it.


-t.s.

we lit the match
of ignorance
and set this world
aflame

wars
money
power
control

you think
this is a game?

children starving
tree carvings
across polluted floor

what happened to
this earth of ours
that we simply can control?

I am studying.
I am dying from exams.
I should get some sleep.



Don't you just love exams?
I don't.
I hate it

and listen
to the sound
of your breath

one day,
you won't hear it
anymore

Stare. Stay on me for a bit
Linger your sight on my lips.
Can you feel yourself
coming closer?
Snake your hands around
my waist.
I place mine on your cheek
your neck.
Ready to pull ourselves closer.
Look at me still.
Close your eyes
and I close mine.
Kiss me
Kiss me slow
Take your
God
****
time...
Stops now
There is
Only
Us
Until
the heat
suffocates

We breathe

And it's over

Every minute is a century,
When I can't fall asleep.

Evasive peace.
Please...

It's getting hard to breathe...


Stop.
Breathe.
Hold.
It's going to be okay.


Sleep