He didn't know where he stood
I'm walking backwards on a tightrope
Upside down and around
I asked
Can I stand with you?
I'll be your
Strength
Home
Bravery
We could stand with the stars and the moon
I knew where he was all along

I'm standing here,
not knowing what to say.
It seems to escape me now.
Losing it through fingers clenched to tight.

I'm standing here,
but you don't see me anymore.
It's fading beyond my grasp,
soon left to be polished memories and stale perfume.

I'm standing here,
fighting the impulse to run,
Not knowing what to do...
Feet frozen from backward thoughts that fill me with doubt.

I'm standing here,
and I have no idea why.
Just a naive girl with bare feet,
and hair let free.
Wondering why the wind keeps whispering your name.

Understand me.
Understand me.
Understand me.
Understand.
I’m standing in front of you.
Understand me.

I stood before you,
And you never understood.

He stood quite still on the sidewalk.
Stood there for hours, actually.
Stared into another place that wasn't here,
wasn't there,
just sort of muddied in the two feet in front of the glass he looked through.
Static went crackling in the depths of his mind.
Sometimes a spark would jump from one edge of the gap to other-
and a flash of recognition would pass like a tankard barreling past a bus-stop.
Violent but brief.
He doesn't speak.
He doesn't move.
He doesn't anything.
It's as if existence put on pause in the self-contained universe that was his body.
Then, he walked away.

Like a clocktower, I
Shudder thudthudthudthud
The second hand races
Beyond itself, beating
Out an uneven rhythm
On tired masonry
Whose brittle mortar cracks
Under the strain of the sky
Waiting for a bird or
A breeze to knock me down
Telling me it's okay.

Neither standing on any pillar;
Nor fastened with any rope;
But this world is hanging;
On delicate strings of hope.

Amongst Orientals and Blacks I smothered.
Presence amidst Mestizos was absurd.

Amongst the Arabs stranger I felt.
Choked amongst Whites and Celts.

Amongst the Eurasian lonely I was.
Feeling of an alien 'tween Desis 'twas.

Standing amongst stones I was pleased.
Felt comfortable, felt relieved and eased.

he probably did not die. he probably did not lose his phone and he probably did not have a legitimate reason to do it. so do yourself a favor and stop constructing his excuse when he's probably just busy trying to avoid you.

2. you are not worth less than you were before. your kiss is still as fierce, your touch is just as kind as it once was. don't let him take more than he deserves. do not let him change how you feel about your worth.

3. i wish i could tell you that this is all leading up to you finding the love of your life, but i don't want to lie. your person may be hiding in the details, and sometimes they will not want to come out.  

4. however, what is coming is bound to be better than what never showed up.

5. he probably did not die. his phone probably still works.

6. do not text him when you are sober. do not text him when you are drunk and ask why. closure is something that we make up in our minds to remind us that we are still desirable, to remind us that we are still good.

7. so this is your reminder. you are still desirable and you are still good. he stood you up, so what? don't kid yourself into thinking that this is something that can ruin you.

8. forget his kiss and stop trying to memorize the times and moments where he was probably just lying. erase his texts, erase his number. if he ever does show up- at least you know he was looking for you.