you said "I'm sorry"
but were you really?
when I didn't give you
what you wanted to hear
you just left me
with more things
to forgive

I ******* up again
I need to keep my problems to myself
Maybe then, you wont feel like it's all about me..
My heart hurts knowing how selfish I've been
I'm sorry...
Will holding everything in help you?
I hate being dramatic, but i can't keep hurting you over and over
Please forgive my selfishness..
You're not the one in the wrong
I can promise you that
This isn't about me but about how you need me
I love you dearly
So never think that I don't

I wish I was a character in a book, all the time in the world to say the perfect thing, never stumbling over the right words or misinterpreting thoughts portraying a much more bitter taste than I imagined. In books, I can delete spoken words, alter past conversations, toying with an exchange so I always have what I want slide right off the tongue but much to my eternal dismay I am not in a book, I cannot simply backspace the wrong words, they are stained into the fabric of reality.

A.C.

I wanna run into the night
but I always end up tangled up in your arms
lately everywhere I turn to I bump right into you
I wanna tell you to *******
but it comes out as "I'm sorry"
lately everything I say sounds like an apology
I'm still just a kid, I'm still on my knees
begging you to love me

there are things i have promised you,
things i don't ever want to put you through.
i'm sorry i broke those promises somehow,
i knew we weren't for each other anyhow.

i just want you to be happy,
i know we're both tired of being shady.
things between us are already sketchy,
every day, holding on seems very heavy.

letting go of you was hard
yet i don't want toxicity to bombard;
i want the best for you and me
so please, let's just set each other free.

Baby I'm sorry, I don't want to be mean,
Meaning is that I don't want to sin
But what can I do, if I don't feel it beyond my skin!
Oh No! Oh No, that means! She's sorry again

What a fool I was, to make her bear that kind of pain
Pain that is not meant, never meant to be seen,
Something I am to avoid, so keen.
Oh No! Oh No, she's sorry again!

She asked me if I was bored, I told her not,
Hurtful words I said, I accept this fact,
I'll try my best to never repeat this act.
Oh No! Oh No, alas! She's sorry, once again!

“Come downstairs, dinner’s ready”
No mom!

“Look here, I knit you a sweater for picture day”
No mom!

“Come with me to the store, it’ll only be 10 minutes”
No mom!

…

No mom, don’t leave,
don’t go,
I want to eat that stew once more,
Make me anything,
a scarf for the summer,
I want to smell your scent once more,
I’ll go,
follow you to the ends of the world

Just come home,
I promise I won’t say no anymore