can I have a single moment to breathe
before the floor is ripped form beneath me
like a rug from under the table
once sturdy now turn on its side
I cannot carry much weight or else I break in two
and you don't need something that's broken
you need a whole object
permanence is key but I am not that
a mere shadow of something that once stood so strong
I crack under the slightest touch
so don't run your fingers on my arms because I will bruise
the ghost of your breath leaves burns
and all at once I splinter down the middle
without rhyme or reason you hurt me
snap me in half so that you can use my now sharp edges to harm yourself
don't take me down your rabbit hole
because once there it may become my own
I wish to inhale the fresh air, feel the wind inside my lungs
not the rotting stench of the girl I once was
do not praise yourself for breaking me
I will find a way to glue myself together

My love your image makes lunatic
You are so beautiful and so fantastic
I love you and your beauty is classic
For love my love there is no logic

When fountain of love comes to brim
Just a glance takes one away from him
Your beauty is like a precious gem
My love you are so smart and slim

Let be on terms of love to proceed
A friend in need is a friend indeed
Like a divine book let me to read
You enter in me like light with speed

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2006 Golden Glow

There’s this void in my heart
A terminal illness, I was bound to die from the start
Day by day it slowly gets bigger
And so the amount of pain it does trigger
I don’t consider this to be living
And I think, Why is life so unforgiving?
But somehow I get through it
Now that I think about it, there is one secret
There is one thing that makes the pain all the more worthwhile
And it never fails to give me a smile
Always there when needed
And without it I never would have succeeded
This thing makes my body numb and fills me with joy
It makes me feel alive like a newborn baby boy
It caresses me dearly
Helps me see the world clearly
Because of this thing I feel brand new
Dont be surprised when I say this thing is you

So this guy is dying
in a recovery bed
Out of surgery
obviously not successful
because he is dying
and his wife is watching
her husband,
brain dead
dying and there is a montage of his moments with his wife
their life together telling
his wife
he loves her
forever.....
but together

And this montage,
its of the life they lived.
I am crying to it, so hard
I'm not super attached to the characters
It's just sad.
really sad.
but the music choice, its a remix
the slow remix ones, they get me
and me not knowing where we are,
I love you.
where are we.
And you don't love me back the way I need you too.
where are we
really?

You and I could be something
really real.
So real
I want to spend my life with you
It scares me that I can know this
20 years old
And I know for 20 more
Or 50
That I could wake up beside you and be content with my decision.

I think we could be really real.
Why are you scared of something that feels good
And right
And real


I am too
but I ignored it


And this is where it got me.
crying about you
while I watch Grey's Anatomy

but think about us, really?

I am trying to pull myself together
Every single day, trying to make it through
I can't do this

I feel like a dog pulled by the neck
I can't seem to breathe and my breath has become someone else's
My feet are buried deep and I'm destroying the flowers I'm being dragged through

I stopped eating from the hand that once was there
I miss it but I can't seem to piece it all together
How something so full could pass faster than the weather

I can't stand on my own, I can't do this
I saw the beauty in things other's didn't
This beauty was never beautiful
Everything I did seemed to be wrong

I am everywhere yet I can't seem to grasp a hold of myself
My thoughts through my fingers
My breath is not mine anymore

Seed


Thorn ed tree hold me naked amongst prickle blood falling free
I am comfortable as long as the hawk comes to feed me
The night the stars come out no clouds I never see
I hang in this tree and wonder why I'm alone to be
Something tempted me to climb above the ground a definite greed
Lightly I fall asleep under lack of energy then let me go and let hawks feast on meat
darkness comes and I am blind but feel no pain maybe I am not on the tree but it was the last thing I ever seed.

I should stop thinking about you
when a song plays over the buzz of caffeine drinkers’ talk
and I immediately track back to our first dance
when you took me in your arms

I should stop thinking about you
when I pass by the bookstore
and see your favourite book, on the raised shelf
and remember your fingers as you ghost every page like they ghosted over my spine

I should stop thinking about you
it’s dangerous during daytime
to daydream meeting you around the corner
and kissing your neck like I always want to

I should stop thinking about you
you’re a boondoggle in my headspace
day and night, always out of sight
but never, ever out of my mind

I should stop thinking about you
how we looked at stars when we should have gone home
how you told me lines from my favourite book
and held my hand because you simply wanted to

it felt
right.

you feel
like the best movie on Friday nights
snuggled up in pyjamas
a comfort I would never exchange

you feel
right.

but right isn’t always the end
and sometimes we have to take the left turn
to find the end of the road

where we found ourselves
three years ago

I still think of you
during the fall
when autumn leaves drop
softly, like I did
for you

I still think of you
on cold nights
wondering if you’re warm
if the scarf I gave you is still holding up

I still think of you
during the summer
how you would go to my house
and ask me to go on bike rides

I still think of you
whenever springtime rolls around
a different place, every break
a different adventure, we would take

but now
that’s all gone
memories and stories
but we no longer exist

and

I should stop thinking about you
but I can’t