Sometimes
I look outside and watch the rising sun
not for any particular reason
just for fun

Sometimes
I go to the kitchen and start to dance
not with anyone else
just myself and the pans

Sometimes
I cry until the oceans are dry
not because of someone else
just for the others who die

Sometimes
I get so mad I just want to go fight
not to inflict pain on anyone
but because some do to cause fright

Sometimes
I try too hard to find love
not because i'm desperate
but I don't always feel it from above

Sometimes
I don't see the truth in front of me
not because It's not there
but because I choose not to see.

I am learning to speak
Although I can speak.

I am learning to see,
Although I can see.

So why I don't like what
I see or speak.!

Hence I must learn
To speak and see.

how are you supposed to make me see your reality,
when the one thing that comes from it,
is god awful?

you want me to see things your way,
you want me to see things in the "light of day"
but right now, from where i'm standing,
seeing you, a glimpse in your reality,
it's a hell of oblivion i wish not to live in.

i say, i'm in the "light of day"
because, judging by where you want to take things,
i see no color.

There the three mates below the simultaneous dirt
in foggy hour,
Sunday stir

Bird chirp beyond the leafless limbs
Burnt paper masks around the leaflet scene
Awash the winter weighted storm, a propeller-sound

rumbles the bumbled air

a hum-drum conundrum drumming engine from the cloud

a hum in the back pocket



at once I am looking up
unfamiliar craft
"who is it?"
knocks at the pod bay door

a small shape, splasmatic
falls beyond hillcrest into grey

f la sh

all is gone

You love my light, but can you embrace my darkness?
My madness, my neurosis, my insecurities?
You love my laugh, but can you love my tears and my scars and my pain as deeply as you love my joy?
You're willing to bask in my glistening iridescent infinite divine red aura splattered in gold tones...but will you be there when I'm unable to lift myself from the abyss of my ever churning, ever condemning, overthinking mind?
You want to celebrate my successes, but are you willing not to be overly critical of my failed attempts?
Are you willing to encourage me and believe in me when I can't do it for myself?
I'm simultaneously
happy and sad,
hot and cold,
unfettered and bound,
knowing and ignorant,
open and closed,
sure and unsure,
deep and shallow,
obsessed and unconcerned
...can you handle that?
Can you handle me?
Is it too dizzying of a realization that every part of me has a deep opposing counterpart?
Will you stay?
Will you leave? If so- I've just given you permission to do whatever you feel that you need...

You can't have my light without my darkness. You can't have my joy and discard my pain. You can't have my sanity without my insanity. You can't gather the things that you like and discard the ugly parts, further fragmenting my already fragmented soul...

Every part of me longs to feel the warmth of the sun
Every part of me longs to shown off like a most prized possession
Every part of me longs to be nurtured and cared for and protected and validated
Not by everyone- but by YOU
I don't need them. I just need you
Every part of me longs to be seen by you
felt by
loved by
You.

Every. Part.

See my heart, ******* thoughts, feel the colors of my memories

Into me see

Intimacy

~KiCo!

The thing about love is that
you can never be for sure
about anything
if they'll stay
if they'll go
how'll they will act
how'll they will be
how long they will love
and how long they may leave
but the best thing about love is that
it comes down to trust
and if you have it and you can believe
then it will work
you just have to wait and see.

The silence of your absence terrifies me.
My eyes weaken when you leave.
I’m gone.
I disappear.
I’m no longer within myself or anyone else.
Simply Forgotten