I admit, I’ve never chosen you.
Falling in love is temporary,
love is a choice.

And I surrender to you.

You’re heart is grandiose.
In search of an asylum,
the delicacy of your love,
softens my core.
Peering into your soul,
through the earthy green
in your eyes, that spec of blood orange
a fire lights inside of you, hungry
to achieve a purpose.
I want to be your motivation,
be your motivator.
We could lose time
but we’d meet back at the equator,
once again, feeding the fire
that lights for you and I.
We’ve survived darkness
time & time again, lost.
In search of that dwindling fire
we find each other, nose to nose.
We are special,  We are young, We are beautiful, We are complex,
We are strong.
We are real.
Years spent, trying to navigate
the passion of our love.
We’ve rebelled against time,
against distance...
We are flawed, we are damaged.
But we are stubborn in love.

I hope I’m not too late,
I want a clean slate
I’m not holding back anymore.
For the first time, boo
I choose you.

You bathe in my radiance,
With your eyes closed,
Taking what you need from me,
to strengthen your bones.

You stick around,
Just long enough,
But now its time for you
To wander off.

I expect that you will soon return
To use me again,
So I wait patiently,
Here on spectrum end.

When you return
You will regret not wandering sooner,
This time too much of me
Might just destroy you.

I am
Ultraviolet

A wrinkle in time; in that moment you laughed and then the moment passed me by  
In that exact moment your laugh caught my eye;
Then I saw shooting stars making landfall on to the surface of Mars
The echoes of your laugh spiralled out of control in to my mind’s eye and lit up my soul
Entire parallel universes in their corresponding dimensions unwrapped in warp time & light speeds
You were setting me up for the inevitable fall
The fall that would come eventually and in the next moment I fell
Head over heels in love you could tell- so much it hurts
An epiphany - you are not the only woman for me in this world followed by this catharsis
But you are the only one for me in the entire multiverse;
But all these revelations took place in a parallel dimension on a mirror earth on a counter  ecosphere  
Because in this cosmos I never heard your laugh
Never saw shooting stars, create craters on Mars
Just as you left your impression on my heart;  
But sadly in this time line you never caught my eye
Hence in this realm all these moments just passively passed me by

He saved her
When she didn't want to be saved.
She was on death's bed
Her mind already made.
One last song she wanted to sing
Before she burned in Hell for eternity.

She knew she had lived for far too long
Everyone said she could overcome.
But only she could feel her pain.
No one understood
She would choose to live if she could.
So she sang her song.

A song that sang hello
Because she hated goodbyes.
This way, she could hide her cries.
Her cries in disguise
Her time to say goodbye.
She sang her last note.

But then a good soul came,
Asked her for her name.
Her tongue all tangled up.
A guardian angel
His wings spread wide
Wiped her tears and heard her cries.
So scared to regain hope
But his love helped her cope.
Not a worry in the world.
He did everything he could
To do her heart good.
Just to bring her joy.

When her life was at it's end
A whole new story began.
One's words cannot describe.
Her soul lives on when it could have been gone
Because of a Hello that was meant to be a Goodbye.

-Jillian Jade

The storm argues, the professing innocent sky
The angry drunk of lightning, grieving grey bruises on the clouds
Leaving Her too weak to do anything but cry

Hoping the blue she once knew might return

In the last of her efforts she stretches color,
Arking over the abuse of the sky

In an effort of promise, to love once again

When you left, it was devastating. I was at the point where out of nowhere I'll just cry. Whenever I see or hear something which reminds me of you, it makes me sad. I almost thought it was impossible for me to move on. It was hard. Really hard. You're my first relationship so it was difficult for me to get over you. After the break up, I still hoped. I still talked to you. Whenever your mom invites me to come over, I do come.

Until the time when you found someone else. You've found a new love. And yet, here I am, moving on. The moment I knew that you have a new lover, I stopped everything. I did not talk to you anymore and even to your Mom. As a respect to your girlfriend, I did that.

A few months after, you invited me for dinner. Yes, I admit, that time I still have feelings for you and I miss you so bad so regardless of you being in a relationship, I accepted your invitation. We talked. We did catch up with each other's lives and when we're about to part, you kissed me on the forehead just like the old times. I was surprised. I don't know if it meant something. You whispered "i miss you". I said I miss you too. After that, we bid goodbye. I felt so guilty with what happened. I shouldn't have gone there to meet you. You have a girlfriend and it didn't look right. It didn't feel right. That night, I decided that it'll be the last but you kept texting me, asking me out again. And out of stupidity, I entertained you. Why? Because I miss you and I still do feel something for you.

To cut the story short, we got back together. That time you invited me once again, you broke up with her. You said you kept comparing her to me and that I'm still the one you love. I was happy but I felt bad for the girl. We gave our relationship another shot but as time goes by, I keep realizing things. It's making me confused. The truth is, I don't know if it was right that  we're together again and the worst, I am not sure if I still love you or I just missed you. I don't know. And right now, I'm struggling. Thinking if we should continue this. The butterflies are fading. The feelings aren't as sweet as it was before. I guess I already moved on from our break up and I did not realize it until we met and did the same things again. I feel like this is not something that must go on anymore.

I guess what they said was true, that giving something another shot will help you get to know what you really feel and what you have to do. At this point of our relationship, I still do care for you but I don't think care is enough for this to work. For us to work. It may sound unfair to you but let me not care. Let me do something selfish at this point of my life. At least right now I figured out what I truly feel.

Second chances aren't always about two people ending back together but it is something that will help you find yourself. Another chance to make the right choices. Another chance t figure out things. Another chance to take one more risk. Another chance to be better not for anyone bur for yourself. Learn to find your center before loving someone else again.

And I think I'm falling...finally falling out of love. Just when I thought I couldn't, it's still you who made me realize that I could