I am Phil
I am Phil
Phil I am.

That Phil I am
That Phil I am
I do not like that Phil I am.

Would you like to drink some Scotch?
No Phil I am.  No I would not.
I would not like to drink some Scotch.

Would you drink Scotch on the Rocks?

I would not drink Scotch on the Rocks
I think it tastes like ***** socks
So get down off that Dewars box
I will not drink a Scotch with you
No that is something I won’t do
I might drink *****, might drink gin
But drinking Scotch would be a sin.

Would you drink some Chivas Regal?

I think Scotch should be illegal!
What is it that you do not get?
I just don't like the taste of it!
Scotch just doesn’t suit me well
I do not even like the smell.
Give me wine or give me beer
But don’t talk to me when Scotch is near.

Would you like a single malt?

I don’t like Scotch.  It’s not your fault.

Would you try some Lagavulin?

I won’t drink Scotch; I’m not foolin’
I won’t drink Scotch all by myself
With you or anybody else
I hate the smell
I hate the taste
To serve ME Scotch
Would be a WASTE!

Well!!  You don’t have to cause a scene
Just try a sip, see what I mean
It’s really not that bad, at all
Don’t drink the bar stuff, drink the call
All the ‘Glens’ are really nice
Drink them neat, add 1 cube ice
One ice cube brings out the taste
Two or more would be a waste.
Try just a sip, and you will see
Then you might drink a Scotch with me.

Oh Phil I am
Oh Phil I am
You wore me down.
Was that the plan?
I guess I’ll let my scruples slip
And try a Scotch – a tiny sip.

Sip.    Sip.      SSSSippppss.

Oh (licks his lipsss)
This is good.  This is really good,
I think that I can taste the peat.
It’s not too smoky, not too sweet
It’s not at all what I expected
Now I’ve got my thoughts collected
My admiration resurrected
I think I like Scotch, Yes it’s true.
I think I'll drink a Scotch with you.
In fact, Phil, I just might have two!
Do you have some Johnnie Walker Blue?
PwL   April 8, 2015

IfoundmyselfhangglidingovermalibucaliforniaandIforgothowtotlandfo­rabouttwoandahalfhoursIeventuallyendedupcrashingintotheroofofamas­trosbistroIthencasuallywalkedthroughthedoubledoorentrancewalkuped­tothebarandaskedforascotchontherocksbartenderlookedatmeoddlyasIno­ticedIhadajamesbodnsuitonupsidedownItwasafuckingspectacleonlyIcan­trememberwheremydatewaseitherprobablyfuckingtheownerorthedoormanw­hichwaswhisperedinmyearbysomesadisticmiddleagesobesewhitewomaneng­orgingherselfoncheeseandlobsterIproclaimtheywateredthatshitdownal­thoughIwastoospacedtorealizethatitwasjusttheicecubesandIwasjustbe­ingaloofregardlessIthrewtheglassontothefloorandstartedscreamingth­attheestablishmentiswrongneverthelessmyboothwasrefusedserviceIwas­pursuedbysecurityoutthedoorbutconfidentlyledmyselfoutonlytorealiz­eIhadforgottenmyfuckingiphoneintherestaurantasIwentbackinIrealize­dthepropertyhadtransformedintoanadulttoyshopwithallofmyexessurrou­ndingthecashregisterholyfuckinshitholyfuckingshitholyfuckingshitt­hisisitisntitthisisitisntit?

It was so real.

We cover illness with flowers
and flowers die

The inside of my mouth tastes like it is decaying
I hope I lose all of my teeth first

Maybe its just the scotch and *****
But there is a burning in my throat

Maybe it is Satan just making his way out

There's a terrible pounding in your head
It's really annoying
Get it out
Get it OUT
Now it's gone
Oh thank god
You grab a glass
Down its contents
Fill it up
Down again
Up
Down
Up
Down
His face
It's gone
Her pain
It's over
Your pain
You're numb
Peace
Peace
Peace
And the cycle repeats

so what would you look like
you know
if you were still here

would you still shoot those guns
that scared the **** out of me
and taught me how to cry

and what about the scotch
would it still linger
and cling to your breath

your stupid laugh
that makes me want to
roll up in a ball

because i miss it
so much
i miss you
i miss it all