One.
When my mom found us asleep in my bed at 4am and screamed at you to 'Get the **** OUT of her house,' you texted me the very next morning and asked to see me as though it never even happened.

Two.
When my family went out of town without me for Thanksgiving, we stayed the whole day at your place and watched foreign movies and ate pasta.

Three.
On our first date, we sat in your car until 3am just... talking.

Four.
When my sister really wanted that new Pokemon game and my local Walmart sold out, you voluntarily drove almost 5 towns over just so she could get it because you knew I couldn't for her.

Five.
The first time we had ***, I cried. I still don't know why. You held me the whole time.

Six.
You woke me up with tickets to one of my favorite musicians of all time, for a tour I didn't even know about.

Seven.
When my dogs died, you stayed up with my the whole night as I cried. Both times.

Eight.
The first time you kissed me was at a gas pump at 10pm after I changed out of my blouse and into my hoodie.

Nine.
You took me to Buffalo Wild Wings even though you're a vegetarian. You even put up with my singing each 2008 Billboard Top 100 song as it played. I could tell you were embarrassed for me, but you laughed and kissed me anyway.

Ten.
When I told you I hadn't been to the art museum, you took me. When I told you I'd never been to Chipotle, you took me. When I told you I hadn't felt safe in years, you made me feel the safest I ever have.

Eleven.
After you kissed me the first time, you admitted the thing that "made" you kiss me was my purple-stained lips after I ate Superman ice cream while belting out songs terribly and sitting in the passenger seat of your car.

Twelve.
When I told you that you were a terrible tipper and I was a waitress, you immediately stopped tipping terribly.

Thirteen.
You left me a voicemail telling me you appreciated me, that you felt lucky to have me, and you claimed you didn't deserve me. While I disagree, I felt it. That was the first time I heard you say "I love you" before you had actually said the words "I love you."

She wanted to say so much
but....
thoughts rushed like rivers
she saved words in a jar
for another day

we are clumsy birds
and clumsy birds have to start flying early
as the Chinese saying says

we are on the ground
surrounded by leaves and predators
we went overturned out of the nest
nobody cares
but we will not stay here
we will fly higher and higher
and far, far away

we are clumsy birds
and we always fly at dawn
so that no one can see us falling
and if that happens
that they see we are giving our best

and the ground is getting farther
and the sky closer
and we can touch the clouds
and we will not return
because we are clumsy birds
and clumsy birds have to start flying early
as the Chinese saying says

you saw, brothers and sisters?
we are clumsy birds
and we are flying

Concentrate
On
Yourself...

And
NATURE.
All
You need to know
Is
In
YOU!

Don't, don't
Ever
Doubt yourself!
Believe,
Believe,
Believe,
In
Yourself!
YOURSELF.

Someone said when faced with a decision
always take the hardest one
because that is the one that will help you grow
But why would I pick the stubborn, drug addict boy
When I could go with the boy who is smart and truly cares about me?
Why would I go out with these girls who don't   care,
When I could be at home watching tv with my mother?
I could tell you said it, but it wouldn't be relevant
because yes, I'm growing, but into a person I despise.

You stood by the gates, with eyes wild like a lion's and a smile as gentle as a purr. There was never any deception, lies, or mess between us. You are crystal clear, and so am I.

We said our hellos and by the next minute, we were laughing as we are: old friends, long separated. You are the brightest, the dearest. Ease and tenderness, jokes and flirtations and laughter.

The years, apparently, have changed us into the version of ourselves that we need to be for each other. What a blessed, blissful time.

Sometimes, just sometimes, saying nothing at all speaks louder than a million other words you'll try to say.

sometimes we expect so much from people, because we would be willing to do the same thing for them.

Im going to share a story
A story that people thought they knew
  A story where people dont actually wants to hear
   A story that people never have a thought that it would be true
    A story that made people cries over the reality of life.
     A story that made people felt bad about themself
       A story that made people sad and pity over their own society.

Depressed. Self-harming. Suicidal thoughts.

None of these are jokes.
I've touch the scars and bruises they had.
-Im sorry. I found joy in these
They said.

And tell me now
How sad.
How sad our society are.
That we thought we knew
That we thought we understand
But we let them to do so.

The suicidal thoughts are worst.
Their nights are sleepless one.
None of it is well
-I'd be better off by tomorrow
They said.
Now thats just how much our people care.

What a shame